Butt pads have to come off, eventually
In his new book, It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be), my buddy Paul Carrick Brunson actually titled a chapter “Butt Pads Have to Come Off” and yes I giggled like a 3rd grader.
We have all been guilty of “playing up our strengths” and “putting our best foot forward” when we first meet someone. Unfortunately, some people take it too far. I always make a point to have brunch with a new guy I am dating. I secretly call it my Diva-light Brunch (shut up, it’s cute).
I purposely dress down, wear no makeup, and show up barely looking presentable. I do this because as much as I love to go all glam and girly, I want the guy I marry to know the real me. The me that gets cranky in the mornings (most?). The real me that hates being ignored but does not jockey for attention. The real me who hates wearing uncomfortable shoes for countless hours. That is the me he is obligated to love too, right?
I have heard that men sometimes wonder who is really underneath all the hair extensions, makeup, butt pads, push up bras, and Pollyanna personality. The woman they see in the early stages of dating is who they like, but who will they love? The sooner a woman shows her vulnerable, stripped down, unsavory flaws, the better they seem to feel about going to the next level with her.
Even though it is scary and slightly terrifying to let your guard down, eventually you have to take the butt pads off people! What kind of butt pads do you have to take off so people see the real you?
How long does it take before you are supremely comfortable with the person you are dating?
How do you know when the butt pads are off – and things get REAL?
P.S. For the record? I do not own, nor have I ever worn butt pads. Just sayin’
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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121 comments Add your comment
lee
December 18th, 2012
7:23 am
The only thing i wear is makeup and that is once in awhile, so you are seeing me right away. I never even get my nails done (my nails are fine just the way they are). No extra eye-lashes no padding (i have enough) Though i do love wearing heals on a date…
Exiled!
December 18th, 2012
7:34 am
Nice post Diva!
I agree..by the third date a woman must be peeling off!
The layers of frontness,that is. Not necessarily the clothes altho that also will help. Better yet,if you actually sleep the whole nite with her,then get to see her face no make,when she is asleep and when she yawns,early in the morn and when she walks to the bathroom,butt nekk’d.
If after All that,it’s still a GO,you got a winner!
But it’s very competitive out there so chics aren’t going to be upfront ‘too’ soon. So it’s not surprising a dude is gon be sucked in for a long time,all the while thinking she got a firm butt or her tatas really bounce and rock…oblivious to the deception!
some chics are even going to keep the bras on when u do the nasty! Low self esteem is a mfck$$@!
So how soon ladies,how much time do u need…..
This is the one issue here that makes guts peevish…
The sooner All your cards are in the table,the better and sooner he makes a commutment or non there of.
Exiled!
December 18th, 2012
7:36 am
Guys peevish..
@lee.. How bout ur hair,is it real.
I’m sure he wkd want to see your body too..bare
How soon for you?
Exiled!
December 18th, 2012
7:38 am
On the table
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
8:10 am
Hello all
Since I don’t go for the glamour girl, no problems there, love the tone downed look. If you look good in Walmart with no make-up, sweat pants, and a baseball cap, just think what you’ll look like when you want to look good.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
8:45 am
Diva, I laughed at your post this morning…lol
Well, I’m just lil ole plain me. No make-up, no butt pads, definitely not Beyonce (bootylicious). No implants, not as ahem “perky” as I was say 20 years ago…no shame in that either….lol I take baths daily (sometimes twice when Aunt Flow makes a visit), I brush my teeth daily, I wash my face separate from bathing (weird?). I could lose about 5 – 10 pounds but it’s all good
No weave, no fake nails or eyelashes… No layers to get through before getting down to the bare minimum. All I wear is a brown gloss….sometimes (if I don’t forget to put it on).
I never have been into being “done up.” I’ve always like nice shoes/clothes but never anything too much more than that.
Lee
December 18th, 2012
8:49 am
Nope hair is not real, lol…. i started @ 15 years old getting those white hairs.. so i do color it , but i am up-front about it , cause you will find out … i could color my hair every other week, and i have been all white haired since my 30’s
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
8:55 am
MMeello – You are funny my man. You never surprise me…lol
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
9:22 am
“…and show up barely looking presentable.” – I laughed then I grimaced. Barely is not a good look (lol). I get your drift though.
I wear little makeup, never had weave, don’t wear fake nails, no breast implants (thank goodness to the breast God that I finally have some), no eye shadow. Eyeliner and lipstick. I like to look nice, but don’t want to look like a walking mannequin!
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
9:48 am
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BLACKFOOTE, WILLIED and CELISEA!!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:02 am
Awwww Leggs – Thanks!
So far today, I’ve received a “sing-o-gram” (lol)…well two now including yours, Leggs,3 emails, 2 texts, 4 cards………AND A BOX (from my boo)!
The box was “personally” delivered this morning with instructions…lol “DO NOT OPEN before 5:00. See you then!”
disco
December 18th, 2012
10:05 am
good morning. not that we talking booty pads. lol. fortunately for me I gots plenty back. I won’t front though, I could go for some hip pads. don’t know how I got all this backside and no hips. a freaking anomaly.
celisea – your bathing made me think of my grandmother. she said “baze” as in “go on get in the tub and baze off”. lol.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:08 am
disco – Remember how Martin use to clown Gina for her tight butt sans the hips cause she worked out so much? He would say she could pick up a brick with her butt…lolol
That “baze” reminds me of the kid’s great granny. She was from that age. My mom was too but she’s all prim and proper and (use to be) Ms. Booghee…lol She was have a stroke if she heard “baze.” So she would probably claim. But she’s from the old old, way back when days.
Bluzgirl
December 18th, 2012
10:08 am
I’m the type of girl that you see what you get! I’m not a girlie girl at all. I only wear concealer, except on special occasions. You will get the real me from the beginning and love me or don’t!
disco
December 18th, 2012
10:11 am
C – naw I don’t remember that on martin. maybe I blocked it out. lol. I’ll have to pay more attention when I’m walking. I’m straight up and down on the sides and it’s a detriment because I love to throw my hands on my hips. usually I get away with it but every now and again someone will call me out for putting my hands on my non-existent hips and then I’m standing there feeling some kind of way.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:12 am
I think I’d rather have more hips than butt…being a woman. A man with a big ole butt is just ugggh….lolol
I’ve also mentioned here how my sisters were the “Butt Sisters”…Bertha Butts and one would clown me and ask what happened. And like I’ve posted here before. Ain’t nothing like “settling nicely.”
You don’t have much? You won’t have much to just go everywhere when gravity kicks in and elasticity starts to loosen. As me where those big ole butts are now? In the front, in the back, in the gut….lololol I still love ‘em though Booyaaah, turned to “big guls”
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
December 18th, 2012
10:13 am
Love the casual look on a lady, especially knowing she will be more sexy when she spruces up.
Thanks Leggs for your shout out.
Happy Birthday Celisea and Willie D.
Back under the stairwell, to do interviews. Y’all have a great day.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:14 am
Happy Birthday Blackfoote!!!! Come from under those stairs, it’s ya birthday!
disco
December 18th, 2012
10:17 am
C – my mother has 6 sisters. some have straight up ghetto fab ba-donk-a-donks. some are just regular run of the mill. one has no backside to speak of but she has killer hips. she hates it. says guys see her coming and they are all jaw dropped staring at her. says she walks by and they see she’s flat as a board and she can feel their disappointment. I laugh every time she tells a woe is me story about having missed out on the booty gene.
I don’t mind a chick wearing makeup as she sees fit but I swear I get quite annoyed at the chicks at the gym who don’t wash their makeup off before working out. to each his own though.
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
10:19 am
The box was “personally” delivered this morning with instructions…lol “DO NOT OPEN before 5:00. See you then!”
disco
December 18th, 2012
10:05 am
good morning. not that we talking booty pads – Ummmm, may be some booty calling something or another in that secret box of Celisea’s.
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
10:23 am
A man with lots of hips looks girly to me. Much like Tim’s hips on Sweetie Pie’s – GIRLY!!!
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:25 am
disco – She should be use to it by now and she should be jumping up and down (I know I am….j/k/b/n/r) cause a big ole butt is all good for about 10 or 15 years. After that, that thing has a mind of it’s own. It forgets it’s should reside in the back on. That things does like Ameoba….lolololol…just sort of takes over everywhere.
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
10:25 am
Happy B’earthday Celisea Blackfoote n Willie
On topic: I’m not one to put on airs or anything like that when I meet someone. I like nice things but I’m not flashy cause to me that smacks of tackiness. Never been into alot of make up except mascara and lip stick and the long hair is real so I don’t need to fake or front. Being pretentious is not my style.
Per “booty pads”…I’ve never worn them…and wouldn’t either. I don’t have a Serena booty but I’ve got enough jelly to make it do what it do.
disco
December 18th, 2012
10:25 am
leggs – mm hmmm. must be nice to be celisea. I ain’t mad at her man though. he knows how to play the anticipation game. lol.
leggs – remember big hipped marcus on girlfriends? he even had a man-girdle.
PYT
December 18th, 2012
10:28 am
I’m all about keeping it real from jump. My BF always says he loves the fact that I look good at night AND in the morning. I’ve actually had a breast reduction and I’m still a DD but I’m flat in the back and IDK if he loves it but he copes with. I wear make-up when I go out but on the daily I just wear eyeliner & fill-in my brows (they’ve been thin & weird since birth). I have my real nails & natural hair. When I mentioned wanting a weave it turned into an argument. He was UPSET! He loves playing in my hair and hates that he can’t touch my weave. (I’m still getting my weave, lol.)
But I have a question. One of my best friends has severe alopecia and wears wigs. I knew she had alopecia and we were friends for 10+ yrs before I ever saw her bald & it STILL completely shocked me. My question is when does some one with a condition like hers take the metaphorical butt pads off?
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
10:28 am
Yes, Marcus is another good example, disco! That episode with Marcus was hysterical.
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
10:29 am
A man with lots of hips looks girly to me.
That is such a turn OFF…
Ummmm, may be some booty calling something or another in that secret box of Celisea’s
For some reason Jeremih’s “Birthday Sex” song just came to mind…twerk it hunty.
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
10:31 am
PYT ~ she will probably take it off when she meets that one man who she’s 100% comfortable with. One who loves her stinky draws!! Until then, she will remain in her own comfort zone not wanting to please anyone of those around her!
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:35 am
Thanks Sassy!
I had to go on and leave the house. I was soooo tempted to open. But, Imma play along. I CANNOT wait to get home!!!
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:38 am
And this topic just brings to me, folks like what they like. Feast famine, trash treasure. It’s to each his own and what suits you. I know I’m not every man’s cup of tea, but for the man that matters? It’s ALLLLLLLLL good!!!
Honestly, I’ve never been envious of a big butt chick. Work with what ya mama gave ya!
halo46
December 18th, 2012
10:41 am
Hey all, raising my hand. I am a girly girl. I played sports, but a girly girl nonetheless.
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
10:41 am
Hey BF! How you doing? I bet your enjoyed that game last Sunday!!!!
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
10:41 am
Imma play along. I CANNOT wait to get home!!!
I’m sure that’s exactly how your man wanted you to feel. Chile I can’t wait til you get home either!!
My birthday’s next Monday and I’ll be in Chucktown(Charleston) with my mom’s side of the fam doing it up. I’m ready to eat some blue crabs n oysters…
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:42 am
Sassy – Girrrrrrl!
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
10:44 am
Hey there, halo46!!! How have you been?
I think just about everyone here is a girly girl, absent disco and Bluz.
Exiled
December 18th, 2012
10:46 am
Happy Birfday Cel and Blackfoote!
Enjoy…..
@PYT..when does some one with a condition like hers take the metaphorical butt pads off?
Its better to be upfront about it if u meeeting somebody who does not know u completely but is intend on taking it romantically…..
It must be tough for ur friend tho….
Good luck…how has she been faring anyway..if u dont mind me asking?
abc
December 18th, 2012
10:49 am
I don’t like a lot of makeup anyway. A girl that wears so much makeup that I figure it’s going to rub off onto me isn’t likely to attract much of my interest. Be real, true to yourself, don’t worry about posing.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:49 am
Thanks MMeello!
Exiled
December 18th, 2012
10:51 am
CEL…just play sick and ask to go home so u can go open that and enjoy ur birf anyway!
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:54 am
Meello – If I wasn’t covering for another associate, I wouldn’t even be here…lol But there’s so much dang work. I just sent my manager an email of all that I have on my plate to let her know I need to work over. No kidding. It was so cool. He knocked on the door this morning. Mind you I got out of bed to answer (what a sight…lol…I’m kidding). He handed me the box, said happy birthday, gave me a smack on the cheek, said read the note and follow…lolol…and left :mrgeen:
I’ve already told my sister she’s keeping the kid
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:55 am
Not work over today, but this week
halo46
December 18th, 2012
10:57 am
Hi Leggs. I am great! So looking forward to Christmas break. Mine begins on Friday. Yay!!!
LeeH1
December 18th, 2012
10:57 am
The Chad Mitchell Trio had a song about this, called “The Unfortunate Man” (http://www.smartlyrics.com/Song233114-Chad-Mitchell-Trio-The-Unfortunate-Man-lyrics.aspx), who mnarried in haste without examining his new bride
:
She went to the mirror to take down her hair,
And when she had done so her scalp was all bare,
Said she: “Don’t be frightened to see my bald head,
“I’ll put on my cap when I get into bed.”
She hung her false hair on the wall on a peg,
Then she proceeded to take off her leg,
Her trembling husband got quite a surprise,
When she asked him to come and take out her glass eye.
[Chorus]
Her husband was biting his quivering lips,
While she removed both her counterfeit hips,
Just then her false nose clattered down to the floor,
And the lawyer ran screaming right out of the door.
Now all you young men who would marry for life,
Be sure to examine your intended wife,
Remember the lawyer who trusted his eyes,
And a little bit later got quite a surprise.
Exiled
December 18th, 2012
10:58 am
I’ve already told my sister she’s keeping the kid
Youzo!
Its gon down! :downarrow:
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
10:59 am
Dang(at LeeH1’s poes), I feel blessed and priviledged…lol. False hips, lips, leg, hair, nose??? What was real? lololol
Bluzgirl
December 18th, 2012
11:04 am
Leggs – You got to see me in my normal attire…I would have actually dressed up a little bit that night, but was so tired and wasn’t even sure I’d stay that long. And, hey…I met a cute guy (The Young One), even if it didn’t work out! It was nice to be told I was very pretty while I was totally casual!
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
11:05 am
I don’t think a lot of make up and stuff qualifies as “girly girl.” I would consider myself “girly” but without so much fuss. I think girly goes deeper than outter dressing. Just what I think.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
11:08 am
Too much outer stuff moves over to clowndom…lololol
Okay, let me get to work
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
11:14 am
Bluz ~ no offense, when we met, was that not your normal attire (lol).
disco
December 18th, 2012
11:26 am
leggs – sho you right. I’ve never ever been a girly girl.
I swear I’m not calling any of the guys out but it seems like guys on the blog and guys in real life often claim to love the natural look and chicks with less makeup but it seems like those glammed up chicks aren’t suffering from any shortage of attention. just a little something I noticed.
C – I too think girly goes deeper than outer dressing though I think outer dressing can apply when you find grown women who still love pink. not like pink but LOVE pink. lol. other than that I think girly girl is more a frame of mind more than outer dressing.
Bluzgirl
December 18th, 2012
11:33 am
Leggs – Usually when I go out, I’ll pick out a little bit of a dressier top, but will almost always wear jeans! Although, after my birthday party, where I was decked out in some more feminine gear, I got so many compliments that it’s making me re-think some things in my closet! LOL
Lee
December 18th, 2012
11:35 am
Happy Birthday Celisea
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
11:38 am
Yep, I agree. The walk, the talk, the mannerisms, the way she handles herself. Are you delicate or manly…that kind of stuff. A ton of make-up and fake stuff don’t really qualify…of course IMO.
I see the women in our building and everyone differs. Different looks, styles, height, weight…but mostly all beautiful…at least to me. There’s a chick I’ve seen a couple of times in passing. She’s about six feet, wears “stripper” heels, very fair skin, nicely built (that’s what my daddy would say), and a good bit of hair (that’s wild IMO most of the time). The security dudes are gawking at her but she don’t really “strike” me as pretty. She comes off more so superficial. She’s always “dolled” up. Now, there was a chick in the cafe yesterday morning. Average weight, a bit of height. Not fat at all but I could see the “need to lose a couple of pounds” through her fitted shirt. Not fat though. Her hair length was slighty below the nape of her neck but very healthy, brown complexion, a bit more than average face. Well, what got me to look at her was a white dude in like that was REAAALLY looking at her. She wasn’t “checking” for him until he got her attention. He was REEEEAAALLLY looking. He couldn’t place his order good…for looking…lol They kept cutting eyes once she noticed him. Sooo, as I was leaving, I said to her I was gonna tell you that dude was checking you out, but no need. I see you checking him out. She burst out laughing and seemed like she wanted to wait for him. She walked out with me and was still blushing. The cashier noticed too. She told me this morning, “I asked the white dude what was the problem yesterday.” Of course I’d forgotten and said huh? Anyway, she reminded me and said he said he was nervous to approach.
But point in this long overstated story is I think the second chick would win hands down over the glammed up doll that takes her stroll across the lobby.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
11:39 am
Hey Lee! Thanks a bunch!
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
11:40 am
Bluz ~ I’m frazzled over here. I read your post wrong. Gotcha!
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
11:41 am
guys on the blog and guys in real life often claim to love the natural look and chicks with less makeup but it seems like those glammed up chicks aren’t suffering from any shortage of attention.
Worth repeating…b/c alot of the times the “au naturale” woman gets looked over for the made up Barbie.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
11:44 am
b/c alot of the times the “au naturale” woman gets looked over for the made up Barbie.
Sooo, true, so so true.
kimmie
December 18th, 2012
11:46 am
Morning Gang!!
We had our Christmas brunch, Secret Santa reveal and White Elephant this morning. Fun was had by all. I got a nice portable Pirex set from my Secret Santa. She knows I like to cook!
it seems like guys on the blog and guys in real life often claim to love the natural look and chicks with less makeup but it seems like those glammed up chicks aren’t suffering from any shortage of attention. just a little something I noticed.
Disco – Well you don’t want to call them out, but I will. I pay men absolutely no attention when it comes to that natural mess, never have. I noticed that a long time ago.
Well I absolutely don’t need any butt pads! I got enough to pass out some! But that’s in the literal sense. I have never worn a weave or fake nails or eyelashes. I do wear makeup, but it is light and gives me a nice polished look. I like to look nice and “bring it” even if it’s just jeans and a t-shirt. I like looking cute and stylish. It’s nothing over the top or hard to maintain, so I’ve never really had any “butt pads” to take off, so to speak. No way would I roll out without fixing myself up. My husband remarked about some females at the firm he works at. He said while they were dressed professionally they just looked unkept, with wild hair and not a stitch of makeup, not even some gloss and they didn’t have the best complexions. He said just a little effort would make the difference. I didn’t know he noticed details like that, but men do.
I don’t knock anyone that wears “enhancements”. Whatever one wants to do to make themself feel good, I am for. There is someone for everyone. If that’s not the type of woman you go for, don’t choose that woman. It’s not that hard to tell if they are “natural” or have some help.
disco
December 18th, 2012
11:48 am
dang C. just cause we ain’t girly, why we gotta be manly. lol. I know what you mean though.
speaking of white guys checking sisters out. this came up in conversation recently with a friend who is checking for a white guy but wondering whether or not to approach him or see what happens if he’s left to his own devices. apparently they do a fair amount of flirting. one friend in the group said that white men are likely more intimidated by black women than we know. I hadn’t given that angle much thought but I did have to agree that the general, stereotyped, media version of the everyday black woman isn’t always good. any thoughts on that?
Exiled
December 18th, 2012
11:59 am
said that white men are likely more intimidated by black women than we know
see..this is a recipe to fail from get go and a self fulfilling prophecy……
if anybody wants a white dude,go swim in their natural habitat Ms black lady……that might do it…
I just hear the black woman media hoopla but i never hear anything on media to put negativity on black women….they are always looking fly to me,if u ask my opinion…..and folks on media are always complimentary and falling over themselves when a nicely put black woman is in their midst…i dont know
Actually, i think the racial divide nowadays is more class divide than race,especially in urban areas…in rural areas..yes,i think racial divides abound….
Go fo it Disco!
kimmie
December 18th, 2012
12:00 pm
disco – I have had a few check me out, but I think those that are attracted to other races seem to go for it. They don’t seem to buy into that stereotype and all. Those that love us love us! I had a few classes in grad school where not only was I the only woman, I was the only black. I got and felt much respect and camraderie.
disco
December 18th, 2012
12:04 pm
hush ex. lol. I just thought that spin was interesting on so many levels. for one, generally when I hear a woman say a dude is intimidated by her I generally think to myself that’s the last thing she’s got to worry about. lol. still, I know plenty of brothers that insist some of us are too mean, too difficult, too unapproachable. for a minute I was sucked in thinking shoot if the men who know us (in the sense that they were raised around us) are wary of moving in what must others think.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
12:06 pm
disco – I think there might be a hint of truth to the intimidation factor because of how we’re perceived. But, in the same vein, I think because “interacting” is not as tabooed or hushed as it was years ago, the wall has come down some, white men are feeling more and more comfortable in approaching.
I spend my of my time here with white dudes….mostly. It’s funny how one can approach me, laid back always comfy while the other is more hesitant….only because of his perception of how I am…cause he knows I’on play that….lol Well the other dude knows as well but still there’s a huge difference in their approach. We’ve disagreed and not a little bit (not argued but digging heels I would say) and it’s still a better interaction there. The third dude is in another state. I’ve spent only a small amount of time but found him to be way more comfortable than my lily white dude here. The only time the comfy dude pulls back is when I let him know I don’t like something. He’ll become sort of standoffish for like a hot sec. What I do like though, is that he’ll always make the first move in resolving any hint of “friction” that sometimes creeps up when we ain’t agreeing.
Still and I’m sorry to say, there’s that every long handle spoon that I sometimes have to use when dealing with the white men versus the black. No matter how much commonality there appears to be, there’s still that invisible line in the sand that I don’t have with black men here.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
12:11 pm
ever long handled spoon…is how that should have read
kimmie
December 18th, 2012
12:11 pm
I know plenty of brothers that insist some of us are too mean, too difficult, too unapproachable.
Disco – I find the dudes that say that, I would not be interested in anyway. The together brothers I like and deal with, don’t have any issues with us.
disco
December 18th, 2012
12:12 pm
C – are you talking your dealings with white men in general or dating? in general, I’ve always got along pretty well with my white male acquaintances. I think it’s primarily because I knew I wasn’t interested in dating them so I wasn’t sizing them up that way. I was really, truly accepting them just as they were. hate to admit that but with single guys that I would consider dating I find myself sizing them up. determining if they met certain criteria.
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
12:13 pm
I find the dudes that say that, I would not be interested in anyway.
Ain’t that the truth…
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
12:15 pm
disco – A bit of both. I think the outlook and perception is pretty much the same whether working or relating.
kimmie
December 18th, 2012
12:16 pm
Celisea – In the workplace, especially where I work now, I find them to be ultra respectful of me. Almost on eggshells not wanting to offend sometimes.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
12:17 pm
I get along with them well. I do. But, I still sense the hint of hesitency because of the perception. Like I said, the white dude that called the dude in another state to tell him we work great together, ended the conversation with, “just make sure you respect celisea” I think the “perception” of how we are is what causes the line in the sand. Whether it’s working together or “going together”
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
12:19 pm
Kimmie – Your 12:16 is what I’m talking about. I think that transcend over into them not really approaching black women. I mean we’ve come a long way, as I see plenty black female/white male relationships as I’m out, but the stigma is still there that we aren’t soft and easy going. IMO
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
12:21 pm
disco – To your 12:12, even though it a work situation, it’s what causes the good looking white dude to feel okay getting flirty. Cause he’s comfy in approaching and not scared to say something he thinks might offend and don’t go running when I push back. He comes back the next morning. A little hesitant sometimes, apologetic sometimes and sometimes he’s still bucking and wanna talk it through. Sometimes I have to ask “can I speak”….lol
Lady~smirk!
December 18th, 2012
12:21 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY C~ Enjoy honey & wish you many more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
12:22 pm
Heeeey Lady(bug), how goes it? Thanks Hon!!!
disco
December 18th, 2012
12:24 pm
dag. I lost a post. not much to it. just clowning ex for implying that I was my friend. lol. also saying that my friend says she’s going to bite the bullet. we’ll see. this is a first for her so another component of the conversation was does she really like him or is she willing to settle for him. yeah. we went there.
Exiled!
December 18th, 2012
12:25 pm
Disco…if some brothers think black women(some) are too mean then they need to circle around those who aren’t.
Too, too many women around really!
Exiled!
December 18th, 2012
12:38 pm
Disco…I think white dudes wld be fresh territory and less competition actually for most black chics…if u ‘hunt’ in the right places.
The issue of race relations being this or that is only because white and black and Indians and mexicans don’t interface as much not because we don’t like each other. That leads to and causes people to act based on stereotypes.
I have observed that in the workplace,folks will test u and judge u based on your input and knowledge and not color.
Now,I ain’t gon know what’s said on the dinner table in homes,but I had to correct my 7 year old when he was 6 when he said,’daddy,white folk hate black folks!’. I presumed the island teacher had been overzealous in her Martin Luther king Jnr lesson delhcery,so I told him,’some white folks, not all white folks and some black folks hate white folks too,they are All bad people if they do’
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
12:41 pm
One of these days, I’m going to post my thoughts and keep to 3 or 4 lines
Exiled
December 18th, 2012
12:49 pm
settle for him…..
@Disco….she really wants dark meat as priority 1, ha?
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
1:09 pm
“…one friend in the group said that white men are likely more intimidated by black women than we know. I hadn’t given that angle much thought….”
I’m surprised at you disco. Personally, I always thought some white men might be afraid to approach a black woman, not only because we’re labeled with having “attitude” problems, but that interracial mingling is still frowned upon. Many white men look full of lust in their eyes, beckoning you down to the river to fill you up with sweet nothings.
disco ~ yes ma’am, I’m reading Cane River (lol).
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
December 18th, 2012
1:13 pm
Leggs yes I enjoyed the game and was surprised at how they played. Played their asses off.
Cely they wont let me come above ground until I get my new hires trained.
Thanks Sassy Me and Ex for the birfday jab, ya’ll are great people.
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
1:20 pm
You’re more than welcome Blackfoote
Do something naughty…
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
1:22 pm
Blackfoote – With power comes great responsibility. You know what I’m saying. All head huncho and stuff.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
1:27 pm
Alright, I’m out of here to run an errand and finish working from home
I might log in later
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
1:31 pm
Sounds like BF is ready to turn in his badge!
BTW, thanks for the bday drink.
i'm swiss
December 18th, 2012
1:40 pm
Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood afternoon, blog!
Well, what have we here? I figured there must be a reason my lone remaining ball was tingling. Looks like we’ve got some topics that I can relate to: girly girls and white dudes that dig black chicks.
On girly girls: It’s definitely more than skin deep (or makeup & clothes deep, if you like). Mrs. Swiss is the girliest girly girl I’ve ever met, but she rarely wears makeup (doesn’t need it, luckily for me), and when she does, it’s very light — usually just some eye liner and lipstick. She does love her cute dresses and heels when we go out, though. But she looks every bit as sexy and feminine in her workout gear, too. She does LOVE pink, however. And yes, disco, I said LOVE — not like, not even just plain ol’ “love” but LOVE. I can tell you right now little SwissMochaSwirl is either going to love pink herself or hate it, but there’s no way she will be ambivalent about it. Everything that child has waiting for her is pink: her room is pink, all her clothes are pink, every single little baby accessory is pink.
On white dudes digging black chicks: Um, yes. What was the question again?
Willie Dynamite
December 18th, 2012
1:40 pm
Afternoon all,
Happy Birthday Cel and Black.
Thanks for the birthday wishes Leggs and Sassy and anyone else I missed.
Topic- I’m not a fan of all made up. I am for whatever makes you comfortable. With that being said I’ve tended to vibe with women that are less made up. To me they seemed more down to earth. That is NOT an indictment of those who prefer getting dolled up.
halo46
December 18th, 2012
1:45 pm
Perhaps I misspoke the ‘girly girl’ comment. So I polled my friends. One friend (male) described me as feminine, but not girly. Another friend (male) described me as ‘all woman’. I wonder how he knows. lol My good gf described me as polished, well kept, educated, nails right, hair tight. She is just being a good friend. I hope I don’t overdo it, but I do like 4 inch heels (no matter where I go except to the gym, the pool and golfing), little makeup (but some makeup to cover flaws), keep my manicure and pedicure up. I like to play sports (for the exercise), but don’t watch too many sporting events unless I am live at the game. So the tomboy in mewent away at 12.
Re: dating white guys. Ive dated a few white guys. Like I’ve said before they must have swagger. A lot of times you don’t know for sure if they have the ‘it’ factor til you go out on a date with them. I sorta assume they must have some swagger to step to me. But, that’s not always true. I can date them, but doubt seriously I would marry one. Don’t want my black card revoked. jk But never say never.
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
1:46 pm
Everything that child has waiting for her is pink: her room is pink, all her clothes are pink, every single little baby accessory is pink.
Awwwwww….won’t be long now!! YAAAAY!!!
You’re welcome Willie…
i'm swiss
December 18th, 2012
1:48 pm
Sassy — T-minus 6 days & counting (if we make it that long).
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
December 18th, 2012
1:58 pm
Leggs hope you enjoyed it the b’day drink, I gotta say those Legs you have makes a fellow want to turn into an ant and crawl all over them.
Thanks Willie D. same to you bruh you don’t have to say it I know you’ll be getting it on tonight.
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
2:00 pm
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
2:01 pm
White men intimidated by black women? Did something change in the last 40 years, Since slavery in the US, time it’s always been okay for a white man to have a black woman! The only thing that’s changed is that now they marry them.
kimmie
December 18th, 2012
2:02 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Celisea, Willie D & Blackfoote!!!
Hope you have a wonderful one!!
cba
December 18th, 2012
2:06 pm
HAPPY B/D to sista Celisea & brothas BF and WD
Celisea 5:00 is just around sunset and the fire in the fireplace is slightly glowing……enjoy!!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
December 18th, 2012
2:11 pm
LOL…..@Leggs
Thank you Kimmie and cba, for expressing the love.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
2:15 pm
Awwwwwww, thanks WillieD, Kimmie and cba!!!
I’m sitting at a redlight…lol
Exiled!
December 18th, 2012
2:20 pm
Hey bird WillieD,dang I missed that u were on too.
Dang BF….!!
That’s some coming out gung ho declaration for what u feeling there.
There it is …whatchu gon do bout it?(song)
Exiled!
December 18th, 2012
2:23 pm
Happy birf Willie D
disco
December 18th, 2012
2:26 pm
leggs – re your 1:09. nope. I never thought of the intimidation factor. primarily because I never fed into it with brothers. of course, I never factored white guys into the equation. in my mind, whatever faults we black women have, (whether they want to put up with them or not) black men should be capable of dealing with them. white men – shrugs. maybe for them an intimidation factor is in order. what do I know?
S/H – really? you had to go there? only you. lol.
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
2:31 pm
Happy Birthday Willie!!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
December 18th, 2012
2:32 pm
LOL………..@Ex
Here goes it for you Leggs since Ex cllaed me out on it.
LET ME HOLD YOU TIGHT
IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT
LET ME KEEP YOU NEAR
TO EASE AWAY YOUR FEAR
IT WOULD BE SO NICE
IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT
I WON’T TELL A SOUL
NO ONE HAS TO KNOW
IF YOU WANT TO BE TOTALLY DISCREET
I’LL BE AT YOUR SIDE
IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
2:35 pm
Disco, it’s the truth, and the truth shall set you free
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
December 18th, 2012
2:37 pm
Ok….can I speak fro the white guys on this one….. While I am all about The blue eyed blondeor the Hazel Eyed Brunette, I would take a Beautiful black woman in a heartbeat….In fact, the last couple of women I have dated ( including both of the current ones) hapen to be AA…..
disco
December 18th, 2012
2:39 pm
S/H – thing is there are different spins to that truth. case in point. I was raised always being told that all white men wanted (desired) black women because of the situations that took place during slavery. as a child I accepted it as it was told to me. as an adult, I don’t necessarily agree. I consider that they may not have necessarily desired black women so much as they simply took advantage of the opportunity that was available to them. the same opportunity that allowed them to keep their white women on pedestals for so long.
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
2:43 pm
Disco, the situation and the sexual myth. While it may not be true for all, it still holds true for a lot today.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
December 18th, 2012
2:47 pm
To wrap this thing up, you can’t go down without creeping…………….LOL
It’s gonna be tonight,
I can hear you sighing
Say you’ll stay beside me
Why must it be
That you’ll always creep into my dreams
When I sleep at night, baby
I feel those moments of ecstasy
And when you sleep at night, baby
I wonder do I creep into your dreams
Or could it be I sleep alone in my fantasy
Oh, love is so amazing
Guess you will be stayin’
So let it be
You always creep into my sho’ nuff dreams
She creep
Creep, creep, creep, creep
Y’all have a pleasant evening. And “I’ll be back” like the Terminator.
i'm swiss
December 18th, 2012
2:49 pm
S/H — I can’t decide whether or not I should be offended…?
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
2:53 pm
Blackfoote ~ if you don’t hush, I’m coming over and really make you cry!!!!
What has gotten a hold of you??? Boy, I am cracking up. But you see the problem, don’t cha! The second line makes most women SCREECH…Pump your brakes! NEXT…………
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
3:17 pm
Swiss, I know some really love their women, but just like in the reversed roles, of black men and white women, for a lot of them it more of the myth than anything. If you don’t fit that then you shouldn’t be offended
DuShawn
December 18th, 2012
3:53 pm
Wow….. Is this thing on? Not one post in the last half hour.
disco
December 18th, 2012
3:55 pm
dushawn – hopefully everyone is/was waiting on you.
Exiled
December 18th, 2012
3:57 pm
we are in the blog basement DuShawn…
dranks and libations
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
4:07 pm
I’m soo ret to go…
Exiled!
December 18th, 2012
4:09 pm
Everybody in the blog basement?
No shenanigans down there please…
All used,wet,wiping towels should be put in the dirty_draws_basket.
Sanitizer bottles and supplies are on the sink counters
Oral hygiene kits will be supplied on request.
DuShawn
December 18th, 2012
4:13 pm
On the subject of sistas dating white dudes, I say date whoever treats you well. I’ve been shopping for some pink toes myself. I’ve been pulling the blue eyed soul, but that’s not what I want. I’m in the market for a real Becky, Mitt Romney voting, NRA card carrying, rebellious daughter of the Grand Wizard type of white chick.
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
4:19 pm
I have been working on expense reports from January to December totalling over $18K. Hell, why claim it now, apparently you don’t need it (lol).
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
4:20 pm
DuShawn ~ umm, are you shopping for a 3some? Whatcha talking about, Willis???
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
4:21 pm
Disco took advantage of the opportunity that was available to them. the same opportunity that allowed them to keep their white women on pedestals for so long.
Isn’t this what we call having a freak on the side now, not just for white men? IJS
i'm swiss
December 18th, 2012
4:38 pm
@S/H — In that case, no offense taken (not that I really would have been regardless).
Alright, night folks. You should smell this jambalaya I’m cooking up for dinner! Mmmmmmm mmmm!
Have a good one!
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
4:44 pm
You should smell this jambalaya I’m cooking up for dinner! Mmmmmmm mmmm!
Enjoy Swiss and Mrs. Swiss and lil SuisseMocha!!
Have a great evening blog…I know Celi is