Butt pads have to come off, eventually
In his new book, It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be), my buddy Paul Carrick Brunson actually titled a chapter “Butt Pads Have to Come Off” and yes I giggled like a 3rd grader.
We have all been guilty of “playing up our strengths” and “putting our best foot forward” when we first meet someone. Unfortunately, some people take it too far. I always make a point to have brunch with a new guy I am dating. I secretly call it my Diva-light Brunch (shut up, it’s cute).
I purposely dress down, wear no makeup, and show up barely looking presentable. I do this because as much as I love to go all glam and girly, I want the guy I marry to know the real me. The me that gets cranky in the mornings (most?). The real me that hates being ignored but does not jockey for attention. The real me who hates wearing uncomfortable shoes for countless hours. That is the me he is obligated to love too, right?
I have heard that men sometimes wonder who is really underneath all the hair extensions, makeup, butt pads, push up bras, and Pollyanna personality. The woman they see in the early stages of dating is who they like, but who will they love? The sooner a woman shows her vulnerable, stripped down, unsavory flaws, the better they seem to feel about going to the next level with her.
Even though it is scary and slightly terrifying to let your guard down, eventually you have to take the butt pads off people! What kind of butt pads do you have to take off so people see the real you?
How long does it take before you are supremely comfortable with the person you are dating?
How do you know when the butt pads are off – and things get REAL?
P.S. For the record? I do not own, nor have I ever worn butt pads. Just sayin’
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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121 comments Add your comment
Celisea
December 18th, 2012
2:31 pm
Happy Birthday Willie!!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
December 18th, 2012
2:32 pm
LOL………..@Ex
Here goes it for you Leggs since Ex cllaed me out on it.
LET ME HOLD YOU TIGHT
IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT
LET ME KEEP YOU NEAR
TO EASE AWAY YOUR FEAR
IT WOULD BE SO NICE
IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT
I WON’T TELL A SOUL
NO ONE HAS TO KNOW
IF YOU WANT TO BE TOTALLY DISCREET
I’LL BE AT YOUR SIDE
IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
2:35 pm
Disco, it’s the truth, and the truth shall set you free
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
December 18th, 2012
2:37 pm
Ok….can I speak fro the white guys on this one….. While I am all about The blue eyed blondeor the Hazel Eyed Brunette, I would take a Beautiful black woman in a heartbeat….In fact, the last couple of women I have dated ( including both of the current ones) hapen to be AA…..
disco
December 18th, 2012
2:39 pm
S/H – thing is there are different spins to that truth. case in point. I was raised always being told that all white men wanted (desired) black women because of the situations that took place during slavery. as a child I accepted it as it was told to me. as an adult, I don’t necessarily agree. I consider that they may not have necessarily desired black women so much as they simply took advantage of the opportunity that was available to them. the same opportunity that allowed them to keep their white women on pedestals for so long.
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
2:43 pm
Disco, the situation and the sexual myth. While it may not be true for all, it still holds true for a lot today.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
December 18th, 2012
2:47 pm
To wrap this thing up, you can’t go down without creeping…………….LOL
It’s gonna be tonight,
I can hear you sighing
Say you’ll stay beside me
Why must it be
That you’ll always creep into my dreams
When I sleep at night, baby
I feel those moments of ecstasy
And when you sleep at night, baby
I wonder do I creep into your dreams
Or could it be I sleep alone in my fantasy
Oh, love is so amazing
Guess you will be stayin’
So let it be
You always creep into my sho’ nuff dreams
She creep
Creep, creep, creep, creep
Y’all have a pleasant evening. And “I’ll be back” like the Terminator.
i'm swiss
December 18th, 2012
2:49 pm
S/H — I can’t decide whether or not I should be offended…?
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
2:53 pm
Blackfoote ~ if you don’t hush, I’m coming over and really make you cry!!!!
What has gotten a hold of you??? Boy, I am cracking up. But you see the problem, don’t cha! The second line makes most women SCREECH…Pump your brakes! NEXT…………
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
3:17 pm
Swiss, I know some really love their women, but just like in the reversed roles, of black men and white women, for a lot of them it more of the myth than anything. If you don’t fit that then you shouldn’t be offended
DuShawn
December 18th, 2012
3:53 pm
Wow….. Is this thing on? Not one post in the last half hour.
disco
December 18th, 2012
3:55 pm
dushawn – hopefully everyone is/was waiting on you.
Exiled
December 18th, 2012
3:57 pm
we are in the blog basement DuShawn…
dranks and libations
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
4:07 pm
I’m soo ret to go…
Exiled!
December 18th, 2012
4:09 pm
Everybody in the blog basement?
No shenanigans down there please…
All used,wet,wiping towels should be put in the dirty_draws_basket.
Sanitizer bottles and supplies are on the sink counters
Oral hygiene kits will be supplied on request.
DuShawn
December 18th, 2012
4:13 pm
On the subject of sistas dating white dudes, I say date whoever treats you well. I’ve been shopping for some pink toes myself. I’ve been pulling the blue eyed soul, but that’s not what I want. I’m in the market for a real Becky, Mitt Romney voting, NRA card carrying, rebellious daughter of the Grand Wizard type of white chick.
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
4:19 pm
I have been working on expense reports from January to December totalling over $18K. Hell, why claim it now, apparently you don’t need it (lol).
Leggs
December 18th, 2012
4:20 pm
DuShawn ~ umm, are you shopping for a 3some? Whatcha talking about, Willis???
Single and Happy
December 18th, 2012
4:21 pm
Disco took advantage of the opportunity that was available to them. the same opportunity that allowed them to keep their white women on pedestals for so long.
Isn’t this what we call having a freak on the side now, not just for white men? IJS
i'm swiss
December 18th, 2012
4:38 pm
@S/H — In that case, no offense taken (not that I really would have been regardless).
Alright, night folks. You should smell this jambalaya I’m cooking up for dinner! Mmmmmmm mmmm!
Have a good one!
Sassy Me...Ain't no future in your frontin' ;-)
December 18th, 2012
4:44 pm
You should smell this jambalaya I’m cooking up for dinner! Mmmmmmm mmmm!
Enjoy Swiss and Mrs. Swiss and lil SuisseMocha!!
Have a great evening blog…I know Celi is