For some reason many guys believe that lying is the way to go, i don’t know why, don’t know where it started, but it did and has happened for a long time… I know plenty of guys that lie to their g/fs and in your 40’s and 50’s its a shame, i don’t get it. (i do know woman lie also, just not to the extend men do) I do think that after a certain age if you are still out there lying to everyone, you need help.

Do i need to unlearn something…. No …I don’t think so… I can be cold hearted but that is after all the lying and dumb stuff happens (im cold hearted cause im kicking you to the curb)

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Pray for your children and little ones EVERY DAY! It was the devil that intended evil, but in turn sent 20 little children on to Heaven. A far far better place. No more tears, no more pain. Earth can’t even compare.

BBL on topic

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Yes Disco, embrace thy inner self (lmao)

Women better liars, yea, we just don’t want the drama (LOL) These days it doesn’t matter what you say if it’s not what the other person wants to hear, then you’re lying!!

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good luck with that one

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agth= agree with. Don’t know what happened there…

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mike p – absolutely necessary? lol. women can’t handle the truth? hmmm. for argument sake I’ll say it’s not that certain women can’t handle the truth it’s more that certain women simply don’t want to hear the truth. they could handle it just fine if they chose to.

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it’s on now (LOL)

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Good morning!

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And how do you know folks are lying? Ummm, you don’t. If it doesn’t feel right in my gut….IT’S A LIE….lololol Oh, and the act of lying or deceiving (not just out of the mouth), all falls under the “lying” category. IJS

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LOl..Mike is right on point with this one…… Alot of women just are not prepared to handle the truth…. i.e…
Chick- ” Are you seeing someone else”
(in her mind she knows teh truth)

Dude- ” Nope…Just you”
(In his mind…Damn..I hope she changes the subject.)

Chick ” Ok…Just Checking”
( in her mind — Maybe those panties really are his sisters)

Dude ” We cooL?’
(In his mind…lol…can’t believe she fell for the my sisters panties line)

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Courtside, here’s how it works for me

her are you seeing anybody,

Me – yep

her, why you cheating on me

me, cause you wasn’t giving me none

Her, I should have know not to ask yo smart ass nothing!!

end of conversation (LOL)

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disco – Need to know for me is required….at some point. If I felt a dude could not open up (as in telling me personal stuff) but could keep honest, I would be good with that. I just don’t have that kind of faith…in some men. But, by the same token, I can’t see a person that’s forthcoming and honest, not at some point opening up. IMO, it’s what folks do the closer they grow and the deeper they get. That’s what I mean by “clock.” I’m going to ask pertinent questions, I’m not gonna pressue. If though, you at some point open up, I’m going to take that as a sign of dishonesty.

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A man can’t get anywhere with a women these days unless he lies to her. Apparently, It’s now our job to make you women “feel” special, different even, especially in the beginning;
the truth is you ain’t no different than my last. If I didn’t lie to you to “make you feel special” whatever that means, you wouldn’t be my next. IJS

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MikeP – I feel like you spit all over my screen with your 10:31. Hold on while I get my screen cleaner….I KID I KID

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Morning All!

On topic – There are many folks that have unfortunate ideas about the opposite sex they learned from their parents and/or the environment they came from. Those kinds of things are hard to shake unless the person is able to recognize that these things are not “normal” and commit to not making the same mistakes. They may need counseling to rid themselves of these issues. Like if a guy grew up seeing his dad beat his mom or talk to her nasty, he might think that’s the way it’s suppose to be. And this guy’s sister, who grew up in the same house with him, sees her mom getting beat and thinks that’s what she should expect from a man. It can be a vicious cycle.

In my dating past, I came across many men dealing with bad habits or ideas they “inherited”. To the outside world, these people may appear to have it together. Some I let go and others admonished me about “why would you let such a GOOD man go?” They had no idea. That’s why I can’t judge others and what they choose to deal or not deal with.

These are also reasons why I don’t advocate staying together for the children. It’s unhealthy for children to grow up seeing some of the things their parents do to each other. Things that will be far harder for them to deal with years down the line than a divorce. I know alot of folks that would disagree with me, but I feel how I feel.

Hey Mike P, long time no read ya, hope all is well. You feel how you feel, but I wonder how that attitude towards women is working out for you and how successful your relationships are because of it?

A lot of men(and yes some women) lie not because they feel the person can’t handle it, but because they themselves can’t handle the possible reaction of the other person. They want to control how that other person is going to take the truth. They don’t want to be accountable for something they themselves did. That other person can handle the truth just fine – may not be the way YOU want them to handle it, but they can handle it!

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Celisea…Not at all… But the truth is sometimes a guy just wants to be in the company of a woman with being deeply involved….Sometimes that will require that he stretch teh truth or even outright lie…When women get to a point where they can let go of the fluff and just ” roll with it” the need to lie or hold back or mis-represent or whatever will go away…..But until teh ladies get to that point….

Dude – ” Of course I am looking for a long term realtionship” In fact I want to one day find a woman just like you!”
( In his mind Yup….Thin, 34/26/34 Great job and a mortgage with just a hint in freak in her voice…)

Chick- ” I want to build towards marriage”
( In her mind ” I hope he calls me after I put this Supa dupa PSK (porn star kitty) on him)

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Courtside Seats – I’m gonna agree with most of your 1st paragraph…not all most. Yep, I too think women wanna just roll with it as well, without getting all deep….at first. After a while though (as with anything in life), you want more. It ain’t cool “just kicking it” or “rolling with it” after a year or so….IJS No one is asking any man to be an open book day one, but something is wrong or not adding up if you just wanna kick it…and that’s all….after months Either you’re rolling with more than one or you ain’t really feeling ole girl to the point of taking things to the next level. At that point, BE HONEST. Don’t say it’s here. As a man, you already know she’s gonna want more and not just “roll with it” eternally.

As for your 2 and 3 paragraphs, ummm, okie dokie and okay…lol I’m not 36-24-36. Great job is relative and mortgage, well yeah that should be happening for most grown folks. Can’t speak to putting the porn star kitty on folks either. Just give me a great session/evening…whatever that means.

Maybe you should change some of how you view things, eh? lol

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There are sooo many success stories where people made changes because they wouldn’t accept the subpar standard of living they were raised in.

Celesea – I agree wholeheartedly. In fact, most folks I know didn’t grow up in fairyland and had to overcome something from their childhood. And yes, alot have a tendancy to use alot of those experiences as a crutch/excuse. But the human psyche can be strange. While something a person experiences might be bad, it is familiar, what they know, and they can be bound to repeat it. Like I have a real hard time thinking someone would abuse their kid after they were abused, but it happens every day. Or some folks have the exact opposite reaction. My hubs is a preacher’s kid and grew up in a strict household. In contrast, he’s alot more laid back in his childrearing.

People just have a lot less patience and understanding when it comes to bad dating habits, and rightly so. I’m sorry your daddy hit your mom, but you’re not laying a hand on me!

And just like people pick up on the bad they were raised around, they also pick up on the good and repeat that as well.

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When I was dating, I was never much of a liar. However, I would tell a woman what she wanted to hear if it facilitated the dropping of the panties. If you’re not in a committed relationship, what is there to lie about? If you’re married or committed and cheating, you have to lie if you want to stay together. When you come home late and your girl ask where you were, you can’t say “I was at Kiesha’s house getting served.” You have to say, “I was with the fellas watching the game.” A female playa potnah of mine once told me “You lie to the one you love, but tell the truth to them hoes in the street”. That’s real talk.
Ideally, one should be honest and faithful, but if you’re living foul her logic applies. You may have to lie to wifey, but you must be truthful with all the other women. They must be aware of her and they have to respect her position. That way if your paths cross in public, your hoes would govern themselves accordingly.

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kimmie – great spin. the liar can’t handle the person’s reaction to the truth.

mike p – the truth is not that you can’t so much as you won’t. let’s just call spades spades up in this camp today.

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Mike P/Courtside – It just doesn’t appear that attitude is working for you. If you could point to how thinking and acting the way you do is paying off in a positive way and why others should try it, okay. Why it’s fun to have you on here to make conversation, that’s all you seem to have to offer.

Also, if the women you came in contact treated you the same way and lied, then you’d come on complaining that you can’t meet a woman that’s honest.

The two of you can’t handle the honesty from women unless it’s what YOU want to hear, admit it!

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How about this for the truth:

I know a guy who likes me, but I’m not feeling him. He’s trying to get into a relationship with a woman, but hadn’t seen her in 3 weeks. He told me about her a while ago. He was honest and told me he was “trying” to get to know her better because it seems that they are quite compatible. Well, he calls Saturday evening asking if I was going out later. Told him I might be. He’s going to a party, but not sure if he would be having a good time because it seems they sit around and talk w/music in the background. He’s 61 (lol). Anyway, he asked if he should leave the party early could he come by later. WHAT THE HELL! Do I look stupid! No doubt he was being honest, so I had to be honest in turn. Told him, I’m not the one to call up because your evening isn’t going as planned with your new girl. You know me better than to think you can go out with one woman, tell me about it, then ask if you can come over and spend time with me. NOPE! If you don’t like the party, take your a$$ home.

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“That way if your paths cross in public, your hoes would govern themselves accordingly.”

Thats funny and real talk… But the truth is, I never run across the true Hoes in public…….

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Celisea ~ I definitely agree with &rarr: your wife is the one no one wants to be or envy. She’s the one you show absolutely no respect for. She’s the one you’re cheating on. It’s not the jump offs getting mistreated, they’re in it for what they’re in it for. However, your wife ain’t in it for the utter disrespect shown

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DuShawn ~ glad the two of you had a great time. I know your wife felt loved! Very nice weekend you had planned!!!!

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disco – That’s how I’ve always spinned it really. Most folks are scared of what the other person’s reaction is going to be to the truth. For example – “if I tell her I don’t want a serious girlfriend, she won’t sleep with me”, “if I tell my wife I slept with my coworker on that business trip, she will leave me”, etc.

They don’t want to face the possible consequences of their actions. Got nothing to do with “oh she can’t handle it if I tell her the truth” . No, you want to be able to sleep with who you want when you want and not commit to one person and still be able to sleep with her. You want to be able to get it off your chest that you slept with your coworker and your wife say “oh that’s okay honey, I’m sure you were just a little tipsy and didn’t know what you were doing” In my book, if you scared to do the time, don’t do the crime.

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Leggs – Or those wives that beat cheating husbands at their own game. You know, those women that look the other way while getting in where they fit in. Honestly, I can’t speak to many folks and that behavior but I know one or two that felt like, oh okay you wanna go there, bet I can do it better. And him, NONE THE WISER. So, while he’s out hOing and getting over on his hOes and wife, she’s getting under and getting in. It ain’t right, but hey what can you say?

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Celisea ~ reminds me of Johnny Taylor’s “Who’s Making Love to Your Old Lady, while you’re out making love….”

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MMeello – What’s a real hOe from a fake hOe?

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Kimmie, Thats the rub… I know that sometimes women lie to me….In fact on most occasions I can see the lie as its coming out of her mouth. The key is that because i know and understand what I am dealing with, I am not moved by the lie. When we are at dinner and she gets a text and looks up and say “My sister”.. I know from the way she faintly smiled, that it was not her sister. While I understand that this “dance may or may not be nessasary, it is a part of the dating world for a single guy that has no interest in being married, or having kids, or finding a person to grow old with…. I have made a personal choice to live a more “carefree” life…… So working the edges is ok for me….sometimes that might involve shooting the isht to someone that is not aware of whats happening…kinda like the baby dear that wonders to close to the edge of the pond…..right before the giant croc Jumps out and BAM!!!!!

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What’s a real hOe from a fake hOe?

fake H0e is wify,when u urge her to put on the spanax and high boots on and urg her put it on u …upstairs….

Real H0e wants to knowigly enjoy where another woman has already staked a spot and may do it for a quid for quo but not necessarily always….she may just want it for the Fu c k of it….

Cel..what time Thursday….Im a house dad these days and that means school droppings and pickings are on me as well as Bbaskball practice…..I forgot that when I made the commitment…
i do have lunchtime business in Alpharatta Thursday but will need to dash home soon after..

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Just wow at Courtside’s 11:33. I ached a little for you (maybe I shouldn’t)

and I ached a bit for your wife, Dushawn in your 11:35. If you like, she’s in oblivion and your hOes are cool with it, I say roll on. Just know though, I wouldn’t want to be the wifey in this equations. Your hOes are better positioned. At least they’re getting the truth from you. Wifey? Nothing but lies and deception.

Okay, I’m out of here for a while….

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MMeello – 7pm, Pappadeaux on Windy Hill

Leggs – You still coming?

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I have a feeling all of you men are gonna bail….as usual, lol Right now, I’m looking forward to Lady, Leggs and myself (and I wish Sassy).

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Oppp, Lady and me (and Blackfoote…so he says). Lady if you’re reading, it’s just you, me and Blackfoote…lolololol

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Cel..7 pm is not possible for me….reqal tough…

but enjoy..its ur birfday?
Is ur guy gone be there? ..Damn i misssed that. lol

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Cel..i think u scared all the men who were pondering on hovering on u..when u indicated u have a new guy. now….

I am not part of the outside blog chatter but I do know back then when All single blog women were part of the chatter…..

I cant disclose more for fear of viloating Men_Law code 9 ,Article 5, amended, page 236!!

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-Celisea- “if I saw the wifey in public. Nuh uh, none of that stay in your place and be nice.” This type of thinking is why you will never be a good hoe…..:)

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Dushawn – This type of thinking is why you will never be a good hoe…..:)

I’ll take that as a compliment

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-Celisea- “if I saw the wifey in public. Nuh uh, none of that stay in your place and be nice.” This type of thinking is why you will never be a good hoe…..:)

Dushawn ~ you want Celisea to act like the lyrics in SWonder’s song “Part-time Lovers”

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
Call up, ring once, hang up the phone
To let me know you made it home
Don’t want nothing to be wrong with part-time lover

If she isn’t with me I’ll blink the lights
To let you know tonight’s the night
For me and you my part-time lover

We are undercover passion on the run
Chasing love up against the sun
We are strangers by day, lovers by night
Knowing it’s so wrong, but feeling so right

If I’m with friends and we should meet
Just pass me by, don’t even speak
Know the word’s “discreet” with part-time lovers
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

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kimmie – I get it. It’s just that when they were saying old girl couldn’t handle my mind went straight to all the old girls who don’t want the truth. they want to keep on living the lie of their relationship being all good.

ex – maybe he meant he never runs into his hoes, not hoes in general. lol.

courtside – re the dinner text. I was out to dinner recently and a couple was seating nearby. they were all lovey dovey, handholding and leaning in and whatnot. eventually the chick got up to go to the restroom. dude watched her cross the room, watched her turn the corner and then grabbed his phone and read/sent a message and cold smooth put his phone away. I was sitting at my table grinning and shaking my head. it could have been nothing but the way he was watching the doorway leading to the restrooms said it was something.

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Anybody seen pics of Beyonce’s baby?

I was listening to a station on Seriuus radio and they say Beyonce’s camp aint happpy:

Blue Ivy looks exactly like her Dad……

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popping in! Waving @ C! What’s the topic about?!?

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Heeeey there Lady! What’s crackalackin? How was your weekend? Nothing much it seems going on in here. Just throwing comments back and forth…lol

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disco – We must have worn the topic out too much for you….lol

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Queen and i were cracking at that Blue Ivy stuff….

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See, you all are proving my point, I told you all what has been my experience with dealing with women but, instead of listening to what I was saying and accepting it. you all went on and made presumptions about me, my desires, and my character, trying to explain away what you all think is going on with me, you all were putting your own snide comments in to my mix – Rejected

I firmly stand by my originally statement: Women cannot handle the man who is NOT “less-than” honest with her.

and for the record;
the more honest I was with her, the less-successful I became.
the more I fibbed here and there, the more successful I became… FACT!!

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@Disco…now u think she got too much money not to sell them on People?

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ex – beyonce’s baby was gonna bring in some bucks whether she looked like bey, jay or Quasimodo. folks want to see what folks want to see.

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MikeP – You just sprayed my screen again….lololol

Oh, ummm okay!!

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Ex, you can’t put me at ease i’m not uptight! it’s not serious enough for me to bring it up all the time.

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i’m not uptight! it’s not serious enough for me to bring it up all the time.
@Single
but serious enough for U to notice what i say Aleways and want to debunk my myths and respond…ha.?

i like that logic

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-Leggs-”I’m not the one to call up because your evening isn’t going as planned with your new girl”….Now if he would have omitted the part about the party and new girl he may have had an opportunity to be with you. This is why men get conditioned to lie. He told the truth and got no action.

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You’re right DuShawn. He told the truth and so did I. The truth didn’t bother me. His way of looking at me was what bothered me. The truth definitely helps me navigate. That’s all I need. He told me about new girl a few months back. That was the truth that I’m working with. If it doesn’t work out, you might be able to holler at me (if I’m feeling you too). BUT, you won’t holler at me while I’m aware you’re hollering at her.

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Mike P – Whatever works for you. I didn’t presume nothing about you cause I really don’t care!LOL!!

Disco – I gonna run out for a minute, and then when I’ m back, lets’s discuss!

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but serious enough for U to notice what i say Aleways and want to debunk my myths and respond…ha.?

So you think I ALWAYS respond to your post (rotflmao) Like you said, your MYTHS. Posting on social media and don’t expect people to respond!

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I dont have a problem anybody responding…i have a problem when u get sore..

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Sore, umm who gets sore? you really take this to serious if you think I get sore at your post because I respond to something you posted, even when you try to push my buttons! It takes more than that to get me sore.

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so no PC blogging for u Kimmie?

I wld agree..

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The truth, the truth, you can’t handle the truth!! (lmao)

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I’m going in the ankle bracelet business then!! cause everybody can be diagnosed with something. But the funny thing is, most of these people did nothing more that ACT strange, never diagnosed with anything. Hind sight is always 20/20

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yea..Anything is not mental health tho

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…..so dont worry about my short men,online ..fables…

u really are good..Single!

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Ex most of these killers didn’t have mental health issues until after the fact! and then it’s just going off the fact that people just don’t see how a sane person could have done what they did.

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“…it just proves she is capable of making wise decisions.” – Had to laugh at this.

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Ex, judging books by their covers, had these people not committed these acts they would still be walking around today un-diagnosed, just a little strange, just like the next one is!! These people it more for the fame and glory than having mental issues. people will remember them more than will the victims!

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This guy will forever be known as the SHES killer, then we have the Colorado movie killer not to be confused with the Colorado School killers, the Virginia Tech Killer, the 9/11 hijackers, the centeninial park bomber, the Oklahoma city bomber, the fort hood killer, the Gifford killer, some people can name most of these people by name, but can’t name any of the victims, besides the senator?

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Single..more than a million folks have died since JFK and mlk were killed and I bet most of the killers are nutt folks..

It’s not a coincidence.

At least take away the semi from non commercial/army use

and if a person wants a gun,make them jump hoop and proper pre-training on safety etc
If a gun gets into the hands of an unauthorized person,as is the case in CT..mandatory 10+ years felon.
That way folks get serious if they Really need a gun.

The ooohood’ thing happening with the CT shooting is that she died from her own guns she didn’t adequately secure.
If she were alive,she wld have to be locked up 15+ years if it wld be up to me. If not life!

25 innocent people died coz u want to do target shooting?

can’t have that!

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also, they need to go ahead and regulate on president lady chick. she’s too daggone conniving.

LOL!! I agree!!!

I really like Huck too!

On that Oprah episode, they interview the real-life “Olivia Pope” (minus the messing with the Prez, of course). She was cool. She helped out Monica Lewinsky and Wesley Snipes with their messes.

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I wish you guys watched Homeland and Dexter. They had their season finale’s last night. Some truly exceptional tv there. I fully expect both, especially Homeland, to clean up at the Emmys.

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disco/kimmie ~ watch out for the President’s wife. She too is conniving and sneaky!!

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Leggs – I’m glad the Prez’s wife got her own agenda!LOL!! It would be so dull if she was a dutiful Stepford wife. Adds to the drama, I love it!!

That Vice Prez now Acting Prez is the real trip though!! Trying to get that woman to resign from the Supreme Court, she’s off the chain!!

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Ex we live in a country that has more rights and freedoms than anyone else, unfortunately with the good comes the bad! We can’t keep our all our freedoms and regulate everything.

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I guess we finished the topic huh? lolol

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All along, she knows, but does not want to give up her lifestyle. They are playing each other……I disagree. I believe if a woman is with a man a significant amount of time she will have to tolerate some infidelity. As long as there are only suspicions and no proof, most women can deal. The poem below speaks to my point.

“City to city, all the groupies they hop along
Word get back, the wifey she like, “Stop the song”
“I’m takin the kids to my momma’s, I’m out, I’m gone! ” – whoa!
Momma was like, “Baby now, I hate to see your tears
But I been with your daddy for bout 35 years and in my day, I had to
Turn a blind eye to cheatin
But I ain’t never had to wear no black eyes from beatings
As long as he doin right, by you and the kids
How you gon expect that man not to be who he is?
I ain’t sayin that it’s right, but we often pay the price
Cause a woman’s life is love, a man’s love is life”

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they are going to mess around and make him disappear. lol.

Okay Disco!!!LOL!!!

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Celisea – Good, I’m glad cause I need some Scandal friends to discuss the show with!!LOL!! One of my hub’s friends girlfriend is a big fan. She said she & her friends were going to have a Scandal party for the winter finale.

It’s coming back on January 10, so yall be ready!!

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kimmie – what did cyrus call him? i can’t recall but he meant it when he said it. lol.

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Dushawn/Disco – Just miss me with the “I lie cause I want to protect her feelings” excuse. No, you’re protecting your own behind, got nothing to do with protecting her!!

As for folks tolerating cheating, well everyone has their own tolerance level on things. Don’t play me for a fool. You don’t know what’s going on in people’s houses & relationships. There are folks out there tolerating a whole lot worse than cheating. This stuff these dudes come on here beyotching about is nothing.

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Afternoon, all!

Just popping in to say “hi”….

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“choose to tolerate” is much better stated

I keep remembering Elliot Spitzer’s wife, dutifully standing beside him as he read the apology statement about him and the paid beyotch.

That one is waaaay off,even if u were to consider the Monica and many others……

Many of these single chics dont know how it feels when the rubber actually hits the iron and she been with a man 25,35 40 years etc….

when u have skin in the game…u going to take a pause..not just blah blah blah….

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Kimmie – I’m hanging there. I was a bit turned around on this past episode but it help to see the one week before last….the recaps

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Exiled – A lot of single chick that have been with a guy for some time take a pause too. They feel they’ve got some “skin in the game” as well, and don’t want to get out there and start over trying to find and get to know someone else. So some weigh their options and “tolerate” if they feel if they just hang in there for that ring. There are men that don’t feel they have much going for themselves or many options that do the same, believe it or not.

It takes strength and high self esteem to not “tolerate” and take your ball and go home.

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Who is talking about tolerating cheating. Dudes that have lived their lives scandalous are pretty jaded when it comes to love and relationships because they’ve only seen and dabbled in the crooked and wrong paths. Just because it’s been a practice and a way of life for those you’ve encountered is by no means the standard of living for all. It’s not naive to believe there are some folks that can walk the walk, walk it upright and do the dang thing. I’m just so looking at the negative outlook on women and their worth as seen through that sort of vision. I for one don’t tolerate BS. Never have, never will. And if that means going without a man, so be it. However, I’m not skewed or jaded enough to believe folks can’t do right. Will the majority? Probably not. Will a good dude…and I’m talking a good dude? Yes, he can. It ain’t true that all folks cheat and it ain’t true that women are so nothing that all they can know to do is tolerate.

Now, having said that, I’ve not read through the lastest postings so I could be waaaay off. I just saw someone mention “tolerate” and got to typing….lololol

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unless they have kids…Kimmie…and a mortgage together…hmmm,

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kimmie – I’m thinking pretty soon that will be “cyrus really had himself something”. dude keeps trying to play cyrus and cyrus is only going to be played with for so long. he loves him and all but he might just have to let him go.

come now blog ladies. for the sake of hilarity, can we tolerate the blog dudes and their insistence on tolerance just for one afternoon? lol.

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If a woman hangs in for the ring but his behind is cheating…..she’s taken…..Low self esteem……

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dushawn – hush. wifey didn’t facilitate anything if old boy already had a mistress’ number on the ready. nice try.

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“GTFOHWTBS…”

Ok…had to write that down to figure it out………

Then I giggled out loud….

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Courtside – GTFOHWTBS…the words for each letter just roooolllled off my tongue. Cause what buddy posted was some BS, wacked and somebody is on that stuff….

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One is far less likely to stray if everything is good at home

Soooooooo, what’s the issue. How come we’re hearing all the stories of side hOes and stuff. Things weren’t good??? IJS

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Sassy ~ I read that and said “BS,” but felt something else.

You summed it up nicely…GTFOHWTBS!

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DuShawn has a point…… If there is someone outside that willing to make you good when the person that is inside either can’t or won’t…..well wifey did not make him go, but she sure as hell did nothing to stop him……….

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Single – All it takes is one time to destroy things. The problem must not have been as easy to fix as you say if it’s enough to make him/her step out. I see cheating as a symptom of a bigger problem.

I’d hate to think my relationship is on such thin ice. Or that either of us is that weak.

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had to write that down to figure it out………

Then I giggled out loud….

Courtside I see you We do alot of giggling out loud on this blog.

Cause what buddy posted was some BS, wacked and somebody is on that stuff….

Okay Celi?!…on that cheap stuff at that..

You summed it up nicely…

Thanks Leggs…

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Kimmie – not to mention if the mistress is really on her game she might be the reason why he ain’t paying his bills at home. lol.

single – we were on the same wavelength I see.

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Cuz let’s pretend she knows nothing about her husband sleeping with another woman!

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Disco- I am from I wish a ninja would tribe and so stated when we first met. I used be from I will f_up tribe but have since matured…lol

Single- I can speak from exerience on the one time cheater BS. You see to me it was not a motivation to communicate with him any further. What are we going to talk about how, when and where?

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Kimmie, a friend of mine made a statement, he wanted to be married, and have kids, but he didn’t know that having kids would make him loose his wife. His complaint, everything they do they have to include their child, and this is with their extended family letting them know they can have a baby sitter any time they want to. He says he’s tried to talk to her about it, and she’s not hearing it. That’s a very easy fix.

Big problems are just small problem that weren’t solved right away!!

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Kimmie..if u are not married to dude…leave if u dont want to be compromised..if u stay,u comprnised for ever…

..

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It isn’t just the cheater who’s at fault, it’s the one who cheats with them, too.

cheater + one who cheats with him = 2 cheaters

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Ex only one is at fault, that’s the one that said I Do!!

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But yeah, as far as relationships, I agree with MMeello…dude cheat (or lie or play games), close the door….for good. That way he’ll know to he couldn’t pull it with you.

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Single – First, you’re only hearing one side. But either way, this is what being married is all about, facing things you might not have to deal with if you were single. If the 2 of you want it to work, you will do what it takes. Is he talking about stepping out? Is this preventing them from “getting it in”?

I actually have a good friend that was like your buddy’s wife. The situation was that she had had a miscarriage and it took years and 2 failed IVF attempts to produce that one miracle baby. She herself was also a victim of abuse as a child, so she was paranoid about leaving her young daughter in anyone else’s care. Then to make matter worse, when she started to trust more and accept babysitting help, there was an incident with one of the babysitters. They eventually worked thru it and now that the child is a little older, they are back having their date nights.

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single- The one who got cheated on.

disco- Yeah he tried me and had me all messed up in the head. Talking about lets do couples counseling BS think about the kids. They were 5 and 1 at the time. I asked him did you think about me and kids while you were inside her. Lets just say we didn’ t have many sessions.

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Cel..but i understand a single chic’s dilemna too..she’s is sweating dude, he seems polished,nice job and career..home,whip..most chics want dudes like that….then she finds out he is cheating…..but she considers herself Main chic…..

what to do….decisions decisions………

I know…

chic gives him a looong looong rope…

it becomes his pattern.

See..us men hunt all the damn time….we may not killl but it dont mean we dont see prey!

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Kimmie, I don’t know if he’s stepped out or not, but the child is 6 now, I know I’m only hearing one side that’s why I specific questions, to see if it’s over exaggerated expectations. Marriage is not about forgetting you are married while staying married. I told him it sounds like one of those case where you thought you were on the same page because on the surface you wanted the same thing, but you both had different expectations of what those things included. No you can’t act like you’re single, but 6 years, I told him he’s a good one, cause I couldn’t, wouldn’t.

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Commendable indeed….still if the shoe were on the other foot and she stepped out…all hell would break loose..

Exactly…ain’t that how it goes though? SMH And in this vein, dudes shouldn’t cheat cause they’re are the ones not cut out for dealing with it.

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Dani so you weren’t even open to trying to fix the problem before or after?

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Exiled – That’s why I want my daughter to have OPTIONS, like I did. A dude had to have more than material things to turn my head, cause I was used to nice things and did well on my own. Nice house, decent job, educated, the whole nine I already had. You gotta bring me strength of character, not just look good on paper. It was easier for me to walk away.

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Additionally, would you divorce him or “choose to tolerate” his unfaithfulness?

Fck. that and let me ask you the same question. What if you had the perfect wife who gave you all of the things you mentioned in your 3:53. What would yoU do?

If your princess told you that five years ago when you were out of town on that business trip, that one of your best friends had her in the buck? It only happened that one time and you and dude have hung out countLESS times since then…

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abc…c’mon man…really.

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You gotta bring me strength of character, not just look good on paper

Worth repeating.

And DuShawn, it is never okay to hurt someone just for the sake of clearing your conscience. IMO….

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Sassy, stranger maybe, best friend, and we’ve hung out countless times since, you better hope they have better gun laws than they have now IJS

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abc -Amen

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But from that point, the greater disservice would be towards you because I would no longer respect you as the man I thought you were nor would I no longer have faith in you.

I’ll agree with that, and add “nor can I stand the thought of you touching me.” I’ve been cheated on before, and tried to forgive and move on, but I just couldn’t get past the fact that he was intimate with someone else and his kisses/touches felt so dirty to me.

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Dushawn – I don’t know what I would do, honestly, as a married woman. I do agree with ABC’s 3:57 though. Don’t sound very “God fearing” to me. But I do understand that none of us is perfect.

But if I were single and dude cheated – all bets are off.

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If it were me in Dushawn’s example and Queen cheated five years ago…its over.

But if its me who cheated..she has to stay..i got more options….anyway…..ask most woemn on this,not me…. Most men are as selfish as i am…

a 75 year old financially secure man can get a youngie woman quick…a similar 75 year old woman cant operate same way……the woman’s mind is different….

we men take advantage of that fact.

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Cel…thatsd the answer 4.09

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Single,I underdstand what you’re saying but it always makes me wonder when I hear men talk about all of the isht women tolerate when it comes to cheating,i.e. the big house, the fabu neighborhood, great children etc.

But when it comes to what a MAN will tolerate when it comes to cheating all of these crooked a$$ double standards start flying out of the wood works…guys’ EGOS are as FRAGILE as 100 year old egg…and probably just as funky cause men make terrible bi.tch.es when they’re feelings are hurt. Yeah I said it…

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should’ve been *their feelings*…

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Sassy…I would prefer if she never told me. That’s why I could never understand people who check their SO’s email and phones looking for signs of problems. Why search for pain. Would I divorce her, probably not, but I don’t think that is something I could ever get over.

ABC- I guess my thinking was that God Fearing men also stumble and just because you cheated doesn’t mean you love your kids any less..so you can still be a good father.

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Meello – Thanks for answering. That’s probably how the majority of men would respond.

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Enter your comments here

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Sassy, you know how we are, when a woman cheats all of a sudden she becomes used goods.

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Umm Dani, are married, do you have man

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Not just the act of sex I wouldn’t be able to forgive, it would be all that other stuff you tied up into her…and I won’t ever believe it was just about sex.

Told y’all I left the dude that had my heart wrapped and tied all because he couldn’t answer me concretely. His normal habit changed and I was all over it. Yep, had been a picnic and walk in the park for years. When I asked, I got a laugh and a “you think too much like a dude, gotta get you away from your brother.” Okay, I’ll show you then, I’m not playing. So, I bounced. Shocked the heck out of him. I don’t like anybody enough to tolerate anything.

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WE MADE IT TO 6 PAGES!! Yaaaay!!!

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Sassy – I am so feeling your posts – chile pleaze!

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LOL@Sassy’s 4:22. And you know the person who originally said, “Do as I say, not as I do!” was a man because those jokers can’t STAND for you to give them a taste of their own medicine!

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Leggs – That wasn’t me that predicted. That was someone else.

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leggs/celisea – it was me. (25 posts)

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I won’t EVER get over what and how you did with her. If I don’t go, my distrust and fleeting faith in you would kill what’s left. I know me

I soo cosign…it will just NOT be the same…me walking around giving you the side eye while you try to strategically hide all the
knives n isht isn’t the way to live…for either of us. I couldn’t give n’aan fck. as to “why” or “see wha had happened was”…I don’t even want to hear it so miss me with it….

Kimmie gurl you know we got to be real…just like the song

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me walking around giving you the side eye while you try to strategically hide all the
knives n isht isn’t the way to live…for either of us. I couldn’t give n’aan fck. as to “why” or “see wha had happened was”…I don’t even want to hear it so miss me with it….

Real talk right here….I’m caracking up. The worst thing than getting caught is staying with a chick like me. You might wanna gon and pack you stuff and get on out cause it’s gonna be nothing hell and discomfort from that day on. Not even nagging…just plain hell

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Oh and if we’re married and having issues, I’m dead serious. You get ghost or slighty indicate you stepping out cause you can’t deal? I ain’t walking around WalMart, Imma be posted up at the Ritz for a couple of days. You won’t get nothing but v/m on my celly and v/m at work. I’m dead serious. All you would wonder is where da heck she is?

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Single went there with ‘used goods’

Lol

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I ain’t gon lie, I won’t cheat out of spite or get back because I’m not that kind of woman. If it comes to that, it’s a wrap, but I would have you dang wondering…for the rest of the time, if we stayed together….if I did or if I didn’t.

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A beeting moan?!?!?!? Courtside, the mental image from that one has me LMBO.

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Soory Into the Light… That should have been BETTING man…

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Celisea…..You a trip. ICU kinda jockin me…. I’m no Dolemite… I just type what I’m thinking. Everybody’s experieces are different, I sometimes choose to share the journey of my evolution in this forum. A lot of stories I don’t share because unless you know me personally and how I get down, you would never believe that this type of sh&T really happens. For instance, this weekend when our family friend “Red Sapper” stopped by the suite. Whew!….God truly favors me.

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ICU kinda jockin me

I see you misreading. I don’t jock…anybody…ever…lol Especially on a blog. I mostly pass over your posts but since your address me personally today, I’m just typing everything I’ve wanted to say…lol

No jocking boo boo, it ain’t that kind of party.

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I ain’t walking around WalMart, Imma be posted up at the Ritz for a couple of days. You won’t get nothing but v/m on my celly and v/m at work. I’m dead serious.

THAT’S what I’m talking about…get gone for a little while to give HIM time to reflect on his actions while you chill…talking about looking in broad day with a flashlight. B.it.ch I want you to call the po po or Grady or some close family cause you can’t find me.

Yeah I’ve done it and I’d do it again..

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B.it.ch I want you to call the po po or Grady or some close family cause you can’t find me.

I’m rolling on this way…

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Sassy/Celisea- I didn’t think about that at the time. Hopefully the next time around I won’t have use that one.

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Dani – Hopefully, there won’t be a next time, but if it comes to that, give yourself a mini-vacay. Withdraw the money from his CC and pay in cash so he can’t trace you. Yeah, let it be at his expense.

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Celisea- I mean If I remarry oneday I hope he would not cheat.

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Hopefully the next time around I won’t have use that one.

Yes and pick a nice spot to chill at..preferably one with it’s own shops and a spa so you don’t have to go too far for anything…then treat yourself

And when you come back home just a skippin and a glowin he’s gonna really think some wild isht popped off…priceless.

Alrighty read y’all tomorrow

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Exactly…we’re hoping not so, but just in case, do the dang thing, pull out all the stops and have a mini-vacay (spa treatment included)

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Sassy- Already made a mental note.

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Okay and if you’re near any of the Loews hotels check them out

Peace!!!

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Often lurks…but I must say, Celisea you do take a special interest in many of Dushawn’s rendevouz (past and present)…and that’s cool. But if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re somewhat fascinated by the debaucherous escapades. LoL

He and the Mrs. are clearly “swingin”…a mutual agreement between the two – otherwise she wouldn’t be down. Afterall not everyone can roll with their system.

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Single- I know it was joke, just didn’t want the vultures circling around..lol

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Jira – Okay…lol If you say so, but again I don’t get down like that. I rarely speak to DuShawn. But, if you saaaay soooo

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WTH check out this story

http://www.yourjewishnews.com/Pages/23463.aspx

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Hey Jira – One more, I don’t do debauchery…unless it’s done on me…and me alone, by him and him alone

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Celisea, my decision to speak up on this particular observation does not serve as confirmation of my sexual preferences and such speculation will not keep me from voicing my own perspective from time to time.

I’m simply all for consenting adults being honest enough to simply state and follow through with what they themselves take pleasure in, not based on the judgments of the masses who are one relationship away from resigning themselves to the daily use of KY jelly & blow up dolls. But again, whatever blows your/ their skirt(s).

But please don’t gas yourself anymore than you already have, my dear…I read everyone. The man seemed to be on to something with his previous conclusion. And though some of his views may be skewed to some degree, I can always appreciate a person’s honesty.

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Since my post was eaten, I’ll just bold this —> But please don’t gas yourself anymore than you already have, my dear and chaulk it up to some fan that’s always tailing me.

Night boo boo

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1 dude = 4 or 5 monikers….hmmmmm

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