As for the benefits department “are you going to pay my mortgage” now that is a benefit!! other wise it just cheap sex being friendly. :/

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Fantastic Friday MIA!!!!!

C where you be sis?!?

chuckle at the topic!

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S/H – I’m with you. let folks do what they gone do. if ain’t nobody complaining then it’s all good. lol. what I can’t stand is the person that’s in it, unhappy with it and still not making moves to get out. shame on them.

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Yeah what SH said….NEXT

Oh, good morning Gang Bangers!

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By far, the majority of my relationships have been “Friends with Benefits”. I would always try to be totally forthright regarding our situation, so we both remained very aware of “it is what it is”. I would encourage them to pursue more meaningful and fulfilling relationships. They felt comfortable telling me when they met someone new and would let me know if it started to develop into something more serious we would no longer be able to do our thing. I would be like, baby that’s cool, I just want you to be happy, but before you fall in love with the next man, do that thing with tongue for me.

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Have you ever gone had a friends with benefits situation?

Yes I started that in college…but got really good at it afterwards and I had absolutely NO issue with it. I had two kinds of FWB. The first kind was what Wise Diva has called the “Boyfriend Experience”…when we wanted to see each other it usually included dinner, a movie and an oh so lovely night. Then I had another type of FWB that I would call when I only wanted one thing…for him to put it down and LEAVE…and we were all fine with that.

How did you know when to cut it off?

Usually when either one of us has met someone and things get serious, out of respect we’d agree to fall back and K.I.M. I’d always have that talk in the beginning to make sure we were all on the same page.

How long should FWB situations really last?

Sh..it who knows cause as long as two consenting adults like what’s happening then let it ride til the wheels fall off.

I’ve told y’all about the preacher’s son/my boy toy…we had a FWB situation for years(5+) and it worked out fine…until I decided I wanted more substance and reunited with Mr. Bermuda. My boy toy didn’t take it too well at first but he was successfully weaned off…

He tried to buck a lil bit but he let it go when he saw I was for real.

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ms. atl – someone is spending money on chia pets? for real? ch-ch-ch-chia.

celisea – re preacher’s sons and daughters. of course, it’s just the double standard. after all “boys will be boys” applies to preacher’s sons too. still, it is good to hear the tale of the preacher’s son doing dirt for a change. lol.

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Disco- I have a feeling someone gave it to her as a gift and it sat in her closet for several years. There has been two thus far. Hopefully they have run out.

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and folks always wanna say it’s the preacher’s daughters

Yeah that was something…he didn’t tell me that until after the fact. He came to see me and as we were walking to my apartment he said, “I have something to tell you”, and me being the smart a$$ that I am said, “What you’re not a preacher’s son,are you?” and started laughing…he looked down(he was 6′6″)at me and said,”Actually I am”. At first I was like but his eagerness made that dissipate…don’t judge me

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True!!

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Howdy Blackfoote! Are we still on for Red Lobster Pappadeaux’s Thursday?

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Long overdue can’t wait sis!

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Ohhhh noooo, I think my immune system has been infiltrated by all the hacking, coughing, sneezing germ spreaders around me I do NOT want to be sick over the weekend but my head is starting to feel as if i’m in an elevator.

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Lady, I know you know and have seen me several times. Please do NOT be alarmed by the nappy head…lololol This is the Thurday before my touch up. I can be sensitive about this kind of thing…lolol j/k/b/n/r

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girl please! I don’t do that trivial mess of sizing you up! we are friends it will be good too see you and break bread and catch up on some funnies! lol hopefully you can meet my boo too….. we can bring boo’s right lol

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Off topic: I woke up this morning about 3:00 and decided to watch a bit of tv (not sure what the issue is with me needing/getting about 4 hours a sleep a night), and turned to a light porn show. I tell ya, not sure how folks do it. It was just g on g and a dude humping. No story line, no plot…nada. Naturally I got bored and turned to Safe House until I dropped back off to sleep…lol

Give me a story with a plot and a storyline and lovemaking anyday

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Lady – You know I already know. We’re laid back and don’t worry about that kind of stuff…lol I’m sure Blackfoote and others won’t mind if you bring your boo.

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I added “others”, if anyone else wants to come.

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Yikes….lol

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That relationship taught me for life!

Lady, very profound. While I haven’t done the FWB, I think whatever area in life that brings about a change or becomes eyeopening, it’s all good!

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yup it is sis! I don’t regret it one bit!

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kind of on topic and kind of changing it but speaking of FWBs. what about creeping? not to go into ethics and all that but I know a chick who’s been creeping for a minute and now she’s planning on busting dude out. she says she’s going to mail evidence (in particular hotel receipts) to the main woman who, naturally, thought dude was out of town “working”. out of curiosity, men how would you respond to your woman when she’s standing there questioning you about the receipts and the woman who sent them to her? women, how would you respond receiving something like that in the mail?

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abc – Are you feeling okay?

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Just fine, thanks.

Regarding disco’s post: if you cheat you’re likely to get caught; when you’re caught, you’re most likely to lie about it anyway; if your better half is worth a dayum, they’ll dump your azz. Circumstances of the bust don’t matter much. But, to me, if you’re cheating, you’ve put enough of a tarnish on your relationship to merit it being over, anyway.

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While I think disco’s situation is dirty and vendictive (which NEVER pops off like jaded folks think),a dude should know the crazy with which he deals and not scream “crazy” after the fact. You already know, even if she ain’t showed you, that swapping and changing up, playing games and cheating brings about much crazy and crazy behavior. I say they all get what they deserve.

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I believe all cheating
with another person starts with ‘conversation’; no if, ands, or buts
about it. This is usually due to the fact of lack of ‘communication’
(about one thing or another) with your significant other at home. But
I find it funny the definition of conversation means to be able to
talk socially with others. While the lack of communication means the
inability to interchange thoughts, opinions, or information by speech,
writing, or signs. Go figure. So is it really ones inability to
communication or simply the intrigue of another’s conversation? Just a
thought.

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lady/C – re knowing the crazy. I think sometimes crazy catches dudes off guard but I really think most know what they are dealing with and simply think they are “so much the man” that they can handle it. add to that the fact that most cheaters go in thinking that other cheaters get caught but not them and it’s a recipe for disaster.

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Lady – Honey they already know. Folks just don’t like to deal with the fallout. But you already know if you’re biting off of something that’s gonna be a mouthful to chew.

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disco – So true, esp “crazy catching dudes off guard.”

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I think that a cheating partner either isn’t really thinking things through well enough to realize what the negative repercussions could be, or they don’t care about their other enough to care about the negative repercussions. If it happened to me, it’d take a lot for me to stick around. Is there actual remorse, do I think it’ll really never happen again, is dude dead? Hm.

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-abc- “……a man will not respect you if you’re a FWB.” That’s not entirely true. The accessibly to the punnanny is the determining factor. I have had friends that dictated if and when the intimacy was going down. I couldn’t just call these women three in the morning and tell them I’m coming thru, get it right. Furthermore, when they decided that the sexual part our relationship was over, it was done. I had to respect that and we would still be cool. Now on the other hand, if I could beat it anytime I wanted and treat you dismissively, you are not a FWB…you a jump off. Admittedly, there is a fine line between the two.

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celisea – lol. or in my world, with a chick like me, monogamy and crazy go hand in hand too. crazy just is. y’all know I’m silly.

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I eventually came to think of it like this, DuShawn: when I’d hit it with a chick I didn’t really care about, what I was doing was taking advantage of somebody’s future wife. What did I think about someone doing the same thing to mine? Not much. So, I came to think of it as absolutely the wrong thing to do.

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i see we are having ego wars this morning! lol

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dushawn – your post made me think that there are levels of friends which tickled me because it reminded me of my conversation with my son explaining levels of “grown”. lol. you know you want them to be mature and independent and all that but you occasionally have to remind them that while they may be grown, they aren’t “that grown”

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a man will not respect you if you’re a FWB
My FWB are the ones who came to my aid when I couldn’t drive, we help each other out when needed that doesn’t always include sex.

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know most dudes have their lies on the ready but every now and again a player is at a loss for words

You got that right…my ex stood still as a ghost when the other chick popped over to his house while I was there.

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disco – Okay we can talk about it Monday. A few twists I was NOT expecting! Oh, and I don’t recall any Olivia hollering, so it’s alot more enjoyable!LOL!!

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we help each other out when needed that doesn’t always include sex.

Cosign…there would be times we’d talk and shoot the breeze or if I needed help with something and asked it was done and vice versa.

I agree with your 11:48 Du…

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“-abc- ……what I was doing was taking advantage of somebody’s future wife.” That reminds me of a friend I had that traveled a lot on business. She would fly me in to different cities so we could vibe. I would brag to my potnahs that I got a chick leaving tickets for me at the airport. “Imma Boss!” They quickly reminded me “She’s the pimp..I’m just one of her hoes.” To speak your point, you may think your taking advantage, but that may not always be the case.

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Me thinks me need another course in FWB 101….lol We’ve talked about it before but when I think of FWB, I think of having sex, no real feelings, no relationship in tow, in sight or top of mind. Do the dang thing and go on home. I mean if folks doing stuff for you and coming to your aid is that not more? Y’all don’t go together? lololol

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The other day this lady caught me in the parking lot grabbing lunch, asking for a ride. She said her car broke down, her young son was at the dentist and she had just ran to grab him something to eat. Anyway, she goes on to tell me that her car broke down and she’s dealing with a married dude so he can’t always come when she needs him to. Then she goes on to preach to me about never getting involved with a married dude. So I flipped on her and asked why would she knowingly mess with him but she claimed her lied to her and by that time she had fell in love with him Yes she told me all this in a 7 minute car ride

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celisea – that’s where perspective comes in. lol. think about it, there’s stalker type dudes that think if they buy you a drink y’all go together. there’s chicks that if you sex them even without talk of commitment, in her mind y’all go together. flip side, look at all the babies born to people who obviously didn’t go together but got together.

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-C- there is some validity to your comment. I do believe my dating expriences differ from most.

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Sassy – He didn’t know what to do especially when she and I begin exchanging info. His desperation turned into, he was going to call the cops

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disco – Okay, I can get with that but at the same time, there are those folks that will knowingly allow something to flow, under someone being misguided and won’t clarify. And then when she or he is claiming “we go together”, THEEEN they want to be crystal clear…lol

Honestly, I think there are all types of scenarios depending upon the person, their outlook, their motives (if any). Some folks just know and you can vibe without having to speak too much to it (those are those IMO on the up and up), there are those that are in it for the getting and will see you’re on a different page and let it ride until they can get out of it what they want, there are those that clearly says one thing and to someone desperate, things are lost in translation…so yeah, it just depends.

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Lady – Your 12:09 spot on. Yes, sometimes folks can see where things are headed but will continue to do what they do…cause they can

DuShawn – You earn a little bit more respect from me today, with your admission…lololol

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Lady – Well if that is true, at least that baby has a living father somewhere here. Otherwise, she’s going to grow up with no parents outside of her grandparents

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Lady – In a bad situation, maybe that’s the silver lining. I would be overjoyed if that baby had at least one parent. Only the good Lord knows all the whys.

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waving @ Kimmie!

Yup C and Slim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sassy – I caracked up the first time you posted that story…still funny

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Sassy – Ran in his pj’s??? Talk about Flight or Fight

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Slim picture it…it’s around 9:30 on a Saturday morning and you’re dead asleep. You hear knocking at the door and get up all groggy to open it and there you see the two women you’ve been playing and lying to..yep that’s fight or flight alright.

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he killed her out on back behind the building in the eating area and shot himself, fell over on top of her.

I’m NOT willing to die for love…

Alright read y’all in a bit…

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I wasn’t really fast per se, but I was “somethng else”…for real!!!

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Sad what’s happening in Connecticut. Prayers and condolences to all affected.

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Lady – I didn’t see Blackfoote…he never showed. Maybe he’ll come from under the stairwell later today

But, it might not be just you and I. Leggs is coming and I got an email from Blackfoote this morning, so as it goes he’s onboard…

Again, we welcome any others that want to come. Even though we know how the turnout usually happens.

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If walls, cars, houses, buildings could talk….lololol

Is this the start of Freaky Deaky Friday? That post took me back to a serious session in an open parking lot in the day time.

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Dang, did everyone dip out already?

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My thoughts and prayers go out to all families affected by today’s shooting.

Mental illness + access to weapons of choice = sad situations like what happened in CT today. I’ve said it so many times … mental illness is REAL. If you don’t think so, look at today’s tragedy, the one in Oregon earlier this week, and every other situation like it. Learn to recognize the signs and do something about it before it’s too late.

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“Mental illness + access to weapons of choice”

And that weapon of choice = guns. You’d think eventually people here would wake up and realize that we’ve got too many guns here and they’re too easy to get. Too many people here think it’s normal to have an arsenal of guns. It’s not. It’s no more normal than building a bomb in your garage. The only logical purpose in both cases is to kill a lot of people.

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Robert – So that is the connection with the school then but really, if you want to kill your mom, why not wait till she gets home.

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Peace out yall…Be safe

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So sad what has happened in CT. All those little ones May god help these families during this tragic time…

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yes there is mental unstable people out there. right under our nose un-diagnosed and misdiagnosed and folks with serious dark issues that affect our society daily in some shape or form! C good post too!

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Lady – Thanks hon…just shocking to see the dark side of a person seemingly sane and the things that will cause their “darkness” to surface. Spooooky!! Not making light, but these type things and behaviors really should be addressed before interacting with others.

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The USA has a serious problem with gun ownership. Over 400,000 people in Georgia have applied for and received gun permits that makes them feel it is OK to carry a gun in public places (Starbucks, McDonalds, Home DePot, etc.). The “Stand Your Ground Law” implemented in some states (GA,FL, etc.) will make it easy for people to shoot someone and claim they felt threaten and took action in their own hands whether or not the threat was real or not.

Let this be a wake-up call. Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.

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As long as each person is getting their needs meet. If you are not getting your needs met and having fun with mutual respect this FWB arrangement should not exist. Oh, just for the record men get pimped by women on a regular basis in this arrangement too.

http://NineGPS.com

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