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Worried about married sex life?

One of many reasons I have heard single men site for their reluctance to marrying is the sex life of a married couple. Apparently, single men are having such great hot, frequent sex (pardon my sarcasm!), that once they marry someone, it will all go away. This is what grown men say they are seriously worried about?

I try not to knock them too much for this but it seems like yet another cop out men use as an excuse to stay single. I’m sure the sex for married people will differ from when you are single – heck, it should! I just don’t believe this automatically means boring or dull.

Is this a legitimate reason to avoid marriage? Maybe I am being too critical. Are women worried about this too?

If you are married, did you talk about how you would handle problems in your sex life? What would you do or say when your needs were not being met?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

209 comments Add your comment

lee

December 12th, 2012
5:40 am

I think if a man really thinks like that, he needs to stay single. They do need to keep in mind that a man sex drive does not last forever it takes him longer (lol) ( a woman can go until the day she dies, actually her sex drive increases as she gets older ) that is why Viagra is a major success story!!

Single@Happy Wonderful Wednesday

December 12th, 2012
7:47 am

Hey all

So is that why I’m still single :-) ? Now I have had women tell me that the sex life would change after marriage , yea that will make me say I do!

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 12th, 2012
8:09 am

Good morning,

Personally, I don’t see why it should change. If you’re going to get lazy and just expect me to jump on it without foreplay just because the wind blew, then Houston we have a problem. The same way you used to kiss me on the back of my neck or say nicety things in my ear, does not go away if we were to get married. I’m still going to like those things you did when we were dating.

Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday

December 12th, 2012
8:12 am

Enter your comments here

Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday

December 12th, 2012
8:15 am

Slim, why I got to do all that, I said I do! (Ill)

Married about to be Divorced

December 12th, 2012
8:34 am

Well hind site is 20/20 sexy does get better when you are married, you know each other, you know each others buttons,( no condoms) but you must communicate the things you like ! never mind what you dont like, speak always positive, and do for her (pleasing things she likes) and teach her the things you like, ..always talk! and always be romantic, because down the road it becomes more of a mental thing of LOVE than physical….

Button

December 12th, 2012
8:40 am

Good morning, SlimNu I 100% agree with you.
Marriage should make things better not worst when it comes to love making.

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 12th, 2012
8:56 am

SH – You cray lol

Button – If anything, it should make you feel more open and relaxed about doing whatever you feel comfortable doing. ;-)

Kind a chilly this morning eh?

Exiled

December 12th, 2012
9:01 am

No men would say that to Diva..that is a figment of her own mind….there are very real, legit reasons men shy away…
If a man want sex rabbit rabbiot rabbit ex-single, all they need to do is marry the one who is in tune with his libido pre-marriage! There is a concupia of libidicious women out there who are in tune with their rabid or unquenchenable sexual apetite.

Actually, single folks would tell you that easily coz they know some singles chics who are pinch sexers. So!

Pleae give us some new intelligent stuff to discuss.
S
Hey MIA

Bluzgirl

December 12th, 2012
9:02 am

I also don’t see why it should change and why it is blamed on the woman for it changing. I’ve had boyfriends say it in the past. For me, I really like sex and hope that never changes. I will do my best to have a good sex life with my lifelong partner. BUT…it is a two way street. Both need to continue to blow each other’s minds!

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
9:18 am

I just don’t believe men don’t get married from the lack of sex or the belief that sex will decline….at least I don’t think. Now, I’m no expert but IJS Heck, most ain’t waiting past date three. Show me those cats hanging in there….lololol

Honestly how do you have a pre-talk about something that’s not a problem yet? C’moooon!!! Seriously? By today’s standards, dudes are ghost if you ain’t giving it up date one or handing out coochie coupons to cash in by date three. So, it’s a given pretty much that the majority of dudes won’t likely stick around if things ain’t happening. Not to mention sticking around long enough to marry WHILE IT AIN’T HAPPENING.

Honestly, I shouldn’t say “all dudes”, cause some are willing to put the extra effort in for what they deem “is worth it” :mrgreen: Yep, there are some good ones out there!! :mrgreen:

Not digging Diva’s post today….lol

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
9:28 am

Off topic:

Today I have on an Eddie Bauer wool blend (I guess) dress and argyle socks and my B.O.C. by Born slides :) I’m feeling oh so comfy and probably waaaay too laid back…lol After a day like yesterday of boots and turtlenecks and long sweater vests alllll day (past 9:00 last night), I’z tied and almost didn’t get dressed today….lol

My brother looked at my vest last night and said it reminded him of Wylona from Good Times…lolol I took that as a compliment :mrgreen: She was fly most of the times. Of course that was a jab from him…he can do that though cause he’s my brother.

Alright, I need java!!!!

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
9:35 am

Ooops, wasn’t intending to talk about myself….my bad

Leggs

December 12th, 2012
9:35 am

Good morning. Sex probably does change once one gets married, but hopefully one is more relaxed to experiment, condoms no longer necessary. If they weren’t already living together, time was made to spend time together with loving high on the agenda. Now, you’re living together, seeing each other everyday, going with the flow of a good week or a bad week. More responsibilities are shared, and dancing all the time like rabbits may not be possible (frequency). Nonetheless, committed sex can be the best sex if you make it that way! (Thin line between love and hate just popped in my head with “if you make it that way.”)

@Married ~ sorry to hear you’re about to be divorced. Did she ask for it or did you? Not that it really matters, divorce is divorce.

Button

December 12th, 2012
9:40 am

I’m with Exile, dude could be using that as an excuse – to not marry!?
If your needs are not being met then you tell him! Simple.
SlimNu – you got that right!

disco

December 12th, 2012
9:45 am

good morning all. naturally I’m avoiding the topic of married sex. after all, what do I know?

C – it’s alright to talk about you (sometimes – lol). I for one love born/bjorndal shoes. got hip to them about 10 years ago. a lot of their sandals are kind of ugly/utilitarian looking but you get past it pretty quick when you realize how comfortable they are. I am wearing a pair of their step-in oxfords right now.

MsAtl

December 12th, 2012
9:50 am

Morning All!
Married- Sorry to hear that. Hope you get through it smoothly.
I think if sex does slack off after marriage, it may be due to the responsibilities of life, not due to the mere fact of getting married. Just make sure to put aside that daily time for each other. If anything, it should make folks feel more comfortable with each other and open to experimentation.
Bluz- I’m with you; I ain’t feeling that slacking off mess.

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
9:51 am

disco – Thanks…I’m sure you and Sassy would get a kick out of my vest (in the past both of you mentioned digging her style). Found it at Phipps. It’s one of those pschedelic, full length sweater vests :mrgreen: I feel in love with it on sight. Yes, yes I LOVE BORN shoes. They aren’t the prettiest but they’re dang good shoes…just gotta know how to rock ‘em. Born Oxfords eh? Sounds like something I could definitely do

disco

December 12th, 2012
9:57 am

C – yeah. they are kind of boring/sensible but cute. supposed to be brown but look more like a deep burgundy color. I like them. people claim that uggs and crocs are really comfortable but that’s just more ugly than I’m willing to walk around wearing. lol. re the sweater vest, I used to have one.

Exiled!

December 12th, 2012
10:00 am

So Cel,u looking more fly today than yesterday??

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:01 am

disco – Not big on crocs. Tried to buy my kid a pair. I’m good with Uggs. Kid LOVES those. She was wearing her a couple of weeks back. She also LOVE Birkinstocks. She’s got a couple of pairs.

http://www.zappos.com/birkenstock-kids-arizona-toddler-youth-taupe-suede?ef_id=UMib@QAAQx9lSetT:20121212150009:s

Dr. Scholls had a shoe similiar to my BOCs that I almost bought. My stylist has a pair.

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:02 am

Mmeello – Nuh uh. I’m looking like a homebody today….lololol And proud of it :)

disco

December 12th, 2012
10:07 am

C – I forgot all about Birkenstocks. I remember they were really big once upon a time. I never had a pair though.

have folks dipped early for the holidays? it’s been slow around here for a minute.

Exiled!

December 12th, 2012
10:10 am

Got u Cel…

I still ain’t done Xmas shopping for my folks…I’m just conflicted.

Xmas season is just damn wasteful in general…..I’m just afraid of the realest remorse that I might get.

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:14 am

The blog has seen it’s days of up and down, but nothing like this since I’ve been here. Since what June of this year (I’m guessing), it’s been a bust on here….most days? Maybe someone can initiate blog games or something to get folks through, that’s gotta work through the holidays season.

disco

December 12th, 2012
10:17 am

maybe the blog monster finally got fed up with the mess and started annihilating folks. lol. he sits under the stairs with a full belly and a cage full of captured miscreants sitting there waiting to be his next snack. see? I get silly when I got nothing going on. idle minds and all that.

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:19 am

disco – Wow, must be telepathy. I was thinking the same thing. Is Blackfoote under there witht the blog monster??? He’s been gone missing since we talked about our birthday shinding. Ut oh :shock:

Exiled

December 12th, 2012
10:26 am

At least u dont munch on candy when bored Disco…..or do u? :lol:

disco

December 12th, 2012
10:27 am

okay. I don’t watch the wendy Williams show. she just annoys me. anyway, I was just reading about her comment that “beyonce’ can’t talk”. did any of you (well, you celisea since you and I seem to be the only ones here) see that show? apparently she claimed beyonce’ speaks like she has a 5th grade education and she claims that when she watches the upcoming documentary with beyonce’ and jay-z she’ll have to use closed captioning. I say – funny.

ex – if I have candy I will munch. thing is I don’t generally have candy.

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:29 am

disco – I cannot stomach WW long enough to sit through her show. She is just…ugh I’m still tryna determine if she’s a tranny…lol

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:30 am

I will say though, Beyonce is a good rump shaker but she ain’t exactly polished. I think though that with her mom the oppotunist’s help and Jay-Z, she’s done will in the “business” arena.

Exiled

December 12th, 2012
10:37 am

Disco..i think she is a smart business woman…..or smart tv pundit.

Thing is, to get ratings, u get attract viewers and to attract viewers,haters and likers,bash one of the most popular sangers(lol) out there…
so now All the Beyonce lovers are coming after her..

she wins,contract is re-done when due and maybe more ching kaching….

i tell ya.

Leggs

December 12th, 2012
10:37 am

I never understood the fascination with crocs.

Leggs

December 12th, 2012
10:38 am

Where’s my other post about Frosted Flakes??

Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday

December 12th, 2012
10:39 am

You know alot of celebrities and athletes fit into that category, things were more focused on becoming famous than getting an education

I so need a vacation

Exiled

December 12th, 2012
10:41 am

Cel..good dump shaker but not polished?

hmmmmm,what do u mean madaam..? :lol: so u like her rump shaking skills Cel…

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:41 am

Mmeello – I agree. I won’t fully bash her because I think she’s talented. Raw talent. I think though her mom and pops seized the fact that she was “hot” as well as her girl group and pushed them forward, getting paid off of “sex”…..sex sells. Meaning all the half nekkid outfits, the provocative dancing and outfits and took it to the top. I don’t think at the tender age of what 19 or so, she had the know-how. So that’s why I call her mom an opportunist. I think though, once she got the shot, it was up to her to prove it. I don’t think she’s polished but I do think she’s talented. She’s one of the few people that make the hairs on my neck stand up when she sings.

Exiled

December 12th, 2012
10:41 am

now Cel..u took me back to her song,”swirling,swirling for u baby!”

scandalous!

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:42 am

MMeello – I guess it is telepathy. I was answering before you asked :mrgreen:

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:43 am

MMeello – And as far as the “do I like her rump shaking” question. Now you should blog know me well enough by now to know how I’ll answer…lol

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:44 am

Her song HALO is one that really gets me as well as the song she did in Dreamgirls…”Listen” is the name, I think. Oh, I’m all about folks that can sing for real!!!

disco

December 12th, 2012
10:46 am

S/H – I was tickled by wendy’s comment because I remember watching a beyonce’ interview years ago and thinking that child can’t speak. of course, she was a lot younger then and I haven’t had an opportunity to hear her lately. i remember an interview with whitney Houston, Mariah carey and somebody and whitney was just plain pushy. I was waiting on somebody to just say “beeyotch please”.

Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday

December 12th, 2012
10:53 am

Disco, most get coaches to teach them how to speak, it is a shame when they can’t form a simple sentence. Sometimes you can blame on youth, but then some just seem dumb as a rock. Just smile and look pretty!

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:54 am

One Night Only is another but I like the way Jennifer Hudson song it versus Beyonce. The slow version…..

Exiled

December 12th, 2012
10:56 am

Disco/Cel..now if u wanna know a man who can sang but cant speak and is unpolished,its mr R himself…..mufga is so damn ghetto in speech..its embarrassing….

but let him talk bout s e x,his vocal cord is gon baloon like an angry cobra! :lol

disco

December 12th, 2012
10:57 am

it’s funny how an interview can affect your opinion of a celebrity/athlete. some you like until you see them in an interview. some you like and then like them more after you see them in an interview. I’ll never forget watching something with ray lewis years ago. I thought I liked him until everything about him screamed punk azz momma’s boy. I’ve never looked at him the same since then.

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
10:58 am

Mmeello – R Kelly? Ummm, Imma have to take a pass on him. I don’t think his singing is all that great.

Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday

December 12th, 2012
11:01 am

punk azz mommas boy, disco you just named almost all celebrities (LOL)

disco

December 12th, 2012
11:02 am

C – ditto. I don’t deny that he makes a hit but a lot of non-singing folks make hits.

Celisea

December 12th, 2012
11:02 am

Maybe cause I can’t see past his “Chester” past….lololol

Great singers? Gospel singers (y’all know Imma have to go there), Brian McNight, George Michaels (I know…long gone but he had a beautiful voice), Brian Adams, Usher, Chris Brown, Rhianna, Sheryl Crow…I could go on

Now, I’m just talking singing/vocals. Not the lifestyle or choices. Just folks that can sing sans the music, amplifiers, and all that other stuff that jazzes the voice up.