Worried about married sex life?
One of many reasons I have heard single men site for their reluctance to marrying is the sex life of a married couple. Apparently, single men are having such great hot, frequent sex (pardon my sarcasm!), that once they marry someone, it will all go away. This is what grown men say they are seriously worried about?
I try not to knock them too much for this but it seems like yet another cop out men use as an excuse to stay single. I’m sure the sex for married people will differ from when you are single – heck, it should! I just don’t believe this automatically means boring or dull.
Is this a legitimate reason to avoid marriage? Maybe I am being too critical. Are women worried about this too?
If you are married, did you talk about how you would handle problems in your sex life? What would you do or say when your needs were not being met?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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209 comments Add your comment
kimmie
December 12th, 2012
12:18 pm
Hey Blog Gang!!
Wild day up in the job today!! But it’s all good, imma be alright and so are these folk that work for me!
On topic(tho I know you all are done with it) – All I have to say is that if someone needs an excuse for not getting married, they will find one. The sex falling off or getting dull is just another been there/done that excuse. Personally, if you were not knocking my socks off in the bed while dating, I don’t expect that to improve should we tie the knot. You better hope you have someone that is still willing to work with yo behind in case health issues cause you not to be able to hit the Viagra!LOL!!
Beyonce laughing all the way to the bank, so Wendy can sit her man-looking self down. Who cares what she has to say. And personally, compared to some of the skank-looking chicks on the videos I’ve seen, I don’t get where Beyonce has ever been that provocative in dress. She’s in hip-hop and got a body, young, and it’s part of the image. What was she supposed to put on, baggy jeans and a loose turtleneck? I never saw the problem.
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
12:20 pm
Leggs – I’m not going to string him along anymore. I was trying to figure out if I would like him or not. He happened to be at the bar Saturday that my friends wanted to go to. He didn’t know in advance I was even going out. I really hadn’t planned on seeing him. I’m not used to being in the position of letting someone down. He just got waaaayyyyy too into me too soon…we don’t even know each other! I’d like to be friends, but I don’t know if he can handle that…
Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday
December 12th, 2012
12:20 pm
I see disco, he’s saving his vacation days. Just what do you save vacation days for?
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
12:21 pm
Ok, thanks, Single! Money makes people more beautiful. Plus, he seems to be such a unique individual further enhancing his charm.
disco
December 12th, 2012
12:25 pm
kimmie – since you went in on wendy I’ll co-sign and throw in she needs to pay her bills. according to tom joyner she owes like $80k on some shoes she ordered. lol.
S/H – so you can be that person that has 12 zillion days because you never go anywhere or do anything. not the kid. I’m using mine. and, I don’t generally use days to stay home. that’s what nights/weekends are for. I’m taking off, I’m trying to go somewhere.
Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday
December 12th, 2012
12:26 pm
Bluz you trying to figure it out, ummm yea!
i'm swiss
December 12th, 2012
12:26 pm
“He just got waaaayyyyy too into me too soon…”
Somebody call Alanis Morissette. This ↑ is an actual example of irony…
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
12:28 pm
How the heck can you order $80k worth of shoes?!?!?!
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
12:29 pm
kimmie
December 12th, 2012
12:30 pm
Bluz – Just admit you really were not into him to begin with. You act like the dude is a stalker or something. Since you are not interested in him, everything he does is irritating. Don’t even go there with the “just friends” stuff. He’s a big boy, just tell him you’re not feeling him like that and let it go, keep it light.
Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday
December 12th, 2012
12:32 pm
Now swiss you know how it is once we make a change… but it seems she has grown
kimmie
December 12th, 2012
12:33 pm
disco – See, chick needs to get her own house in order! Meanwhile, 5th grade graduate Beyonce just inked a 50 million dollar deal with Pepsi. $50 million deal versus 80k shoe debt – now who needs some schooling?
Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday
December 12th, 2012
12:36 pm
Kimmie, Beyonce’s agents just inked a 50 mil deal. Yes she needs schooling to hold on to it.
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
12:38 pm
kimmiw ~ biggest monetary endorsement in Pepsi history!
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
12:39 pm
kimmie – I liked him at the very beginning, but didn’t really feel him too much like that after a couple of weeks. I really did try to wait it out and see because he is super nice and he adores me. That’s the kind of guy I should have, but he was way overboard. I actually did get distant a couple of weeks ago, the last date we had. Like I said…I wasn’t planning on seeing him over the weekend. Was trying to just slowly move away…
kimmie
December 12th, 2012
12:41 pm
Single – Okay, then Wendy needs to hire Beyonce’s agent/accountant so she can get a handle on her shoe bill!! Obviously whatever schooling Bey does have seems to have helped her hold on to alot over the years. She could probably teach Wendy a thing or 2!LOL!!
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
12:44 pm
Was trying to just slowly move away…Really. Would this have entailed you talking with him or simply going Ghost w/o any closure (lol). Haaa, a woman exiting stage left with no notice.
kimmie
December 12th, 2012
12:45 pm
Bluz – No, the kind of guy you should have is one you are feeling that’s feeling you. The kind of guy whose attention would not make you feel uncomfortable.
What has he done that was so “over the top”? Is it just that you’re not used to someone being nice to you?
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
12:52 pm
Leggs – I think I should talk to him, but I’m trying to decide what to say to him…
kimmie – The second time we hung out, he asked what we are and what do I want from him…he has since asked it 2 more times and I just met him about 6 weeks ago. He also has texted several times that he just wants to get drunk. Big turnoff. Saturday night, he was trashed and was sooooo clingy. He kept getting really close to my face and seemed to scoot his chair closer and closer to me.
Single & Happy Wonderful Wednesday
December 12th, 2012
12:54 pm
wow, are you looking in the mirror bluz?
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
12:55 pm
Goes back to a conversation they’ve had on the Bert Show a few times…would you rather have someone be brutally honest about what you did wrong in the “relationship” or not be honest and just end it?
disco
December 12th, 2012
12:55 pm
leggs – going ghost with no closure is the move that I call the “fade-away”. quite frankly that one ticks me off. cuss me out, talk about my momma, throw rocks at me but don’t just go disappearing and thangs. that’s just wrong.
bluz – bluz, bluz, bluz…
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
12:56 pm
Yes S/H…I am looking in the mirror and seeing how I have been and vowing to not be that way again…I don’t want to be “that” girl…
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
12:59 pm
I know disco…I know…
I just don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings…was thinking about reaching out tonight to just tell him that I only want to be friends…
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
12:59 pm
I agree, disco. It’s wrong, hurtful and shows you didn’t care about my feelings from the get go.
kimmie
December 12th, 2012
12:59 pm
Bluz – You call him Young One, but he’s not that young, late 20’s. He needs to grow up and cut out the frat boy antics. And clinginess is a turnoff, especially when you really don’t want to be bothered.
You all don’t have a “relationship”. Just keep it light, say hey let’s just be friends, and move on.
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
1:06 pm
He could be a good catch in the future, but he needs to work on building himself up and getting his isht together. I’m finally at a point where I’ve built myself up and can’t build up anyone else. I have a feeling he is pretty depressed.
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
1:11 pm
Or, just tell him you’re working on yourself and don’t have time to invest in a relationship.
kimmie
December 12th, 2012
1:12 pm
Bluz – Let him deal with his own problems. I know you have a heart, but don’t let him get you caught up in it.
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
1:12 pm
Man, just ironic how the shoe is on the other foot. It’s almost a mirror image taking place.
Single, I know, I know (lol).
Willie Dynamite
December 12th, 2012
1:14 pm
Afternoon all,
Topic- BS plain and simple.
Side Topics- umm, nothing.
i'm swiss
December 12th, 2012
1:21 pm
Sorry, Bluz… you know I only give you a hard time ‘cos I like you…
On topic: Married sex was never a concern for me. Now married with children sex, on the other hand… THAT, I’m a little concerned about…
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
1:23 pm
Yeah swiss, once those rugrats walk in on you, a whole new ball game (lol).
Robert
December 12th, 2012
1:24 pm
“This is what grown men say they are seriously worried about?”
Once upon a time I was married (20 yrs old). We had sex 5 days a week, anywhere and everywhere. The problem with the marraige was not sex. The problem was a lack of maturity for both of us. We had a new baby, bills and we were not compatible.
As a mature Man I would love to be “In Love” in a committed married relationship. I am seeking a mature woman who is comfortable with her sexuality and knows how to please her man in every way. Marriage should be the goal in a relationship and people should strive to keep the passion and desire alive regardless of how long you have been dating leading up to marriage.
i'm swiss
December 12th, 2012
1:27 pm
Way off topic: Just damn. If ever there were an argument for legalizing drugs, it’s the needless mutilation of t!tties. Just let folks get high in peace — and save some t!tties while you’re at it.
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
1:30 pm
I was thinking that I would tell him that I’m working on myself. He knows that I have been working on myself, so this shouldn’t be a shock to him. We’re just not a match. It’s all good. I don’t want to be tied down to anyone right now. I would like to continue just dating for a while. It was nice to actually “date” someone…too bad I just didn’t start feeling him…
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
1:31 pm
swiss – don’t worry…my skin has thickened over the past year!
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
1:32 pm
swiss – for some reason I can’t access ajc.com on my work computer (althought, I can access this blog). What’s that story?
i'm swiss
December 12th, 2012
1:34 pm
Bluz — Ahhhh, the ol’ “It’s not you, it’s me” approach. It’s not very original, but it’s effective. Good, sound, fundamental dumping right there…
i'm swiss
December 12th, 2012
1:36 pm
Bluz — The story is about a woman who was arrested in Spain for trying to smuggle 3 lbs of cocaine in her t!tties. Chick literally had still-bleeding scars from where they gave her “coke” implants.
Bluzgirl
December 12th, 2012
1:38 pm
swiss – WOW to that story…I’ll have to see if I can find it on cnn or something. That is crazy!!!
If dude pushes for more of an answer, I think I’ll have to be brutally honest…
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
1:38 pm
WOW…creative, scary, stupid!
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
1:40 pm
You can be honest w/o being brutal.
i'm swiss
December 12th, 2012
1:48 pm
Leggs — Yeah, although, to be fair, I doubt the woman had much say in the matter. I’m sure it was a choice of “do this or die.”
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
1:52 pm
I thought that too, swiss. Now, she’s in jail.
Stuck
December 12th, 2012
1:55 pm
I can only speak from my experience, but I don’t think it is an excuse. Physical intimacy in my marriage is gone. Been gone for years. Most days I catch myself dreaming of leaving due to this void in my marriage, but I stay for the kids. If I knew it was going to be like this, I wouldn’t have gotten married. I also don’t think I would be able to tell a guy friend to sign up for this. Stay single. Why get locked into such a miserable relationship.
Button
December 12th, 2012
1:59 pm
I’m in the mood for some disaronno on the rocks
Button
December 12th, 2012
2:00 pm
Wow Stuck – a schexless marriage sucks money balls!
i'm swiss
December 12th, 2012
2:02 pm
“Now, she’s in jail.”
Yep. And has f__ked up t!tties. All because we want to stop people from getting high. We need to wake up. The war on drugs is a scam. How many innocent people have died in the crossfire between drug cartels and law enforcement over laws that are designed to do… what, exactly? Keep people from possibly hurting themselves with a drug? It’s total nonsense.
(You know I can’t let a slow day go by without getting on a political rant…)
Leggs
December 12th, 2012
2:03 pm
I’m sorry to hear those marriages that are void of sex. That’s not cool. Don’t know why some women feel that now that they’ve “caught” their man, she can ease up on the very thing she did while single to catch her man.
Stuck, that was a sad read.