Relationships: That’s not love?
If you have ever been in love before – you know the feeling of euphoria and butterflies in your stomach. It’s as terrifying and exhilarating as jumping out of an airplane must feel like. There really is no other feeling quite like that! Sadly, once you have had that intense emotion, you pretty much judge all relationships by that standard.
Do you think it is a good thing, though? What happens when we spend so much time chasing that same feeling that we had once before? Is it fair to compare to that time you fell so hard?
If you don’t feel that same kind of emotion and passion for someone, does that mean you are really not in love?
A lot of people are lucky enough to have had that feeling once. So how do you know when it’s not love just because you feel differently?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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162 comments Add your comment
disco
December 11th, 2012
11:52 am
thanks. I was thinking full force, force MDs, somebody force. lol. what’s love got to do with it makes me think love should have brought you home last night.
hey kimmie. what’s up D?
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
December 11th, 2012
11:53 am
His moniker was Poppa Grande.
Celisea
December 11th, 2012
11:59 am
You cannot Pin it down nor can you Universalize it
I disagree with MMeello….for the most part. While we cannot truly define love, it DOES act universally and the end result is the same. Our journeys may seem different but, IMO, if love is the path we’re traveling, we’ll all end up in the same place.
IMO…..Sorry, but you ain’t on the path of love if you’re getting the taste slapped out of your mouth or is the cheating spouse or if you give out abuse…IJS Just cause the person deem it as such and says it feel good, don’t make it be love…lolololol
I don’t think love knows how to misbehave (k, that was a hint cheesy)
Of course and again, all in my opinion
kimmie
December 11th, 2012
12:02 pm
Hey Ms Disco!
disco
December 11th, 2012
12:05 pm
C – not to be contrary but that’s just us on the outside looking in on someone else’s love. a few folks mentioned the old couples sitting on porch rocking chairs holding hands in the golden years. how do we know they weren’t that buck wild couple that used to knock the taste out of each others’ mouths 40-50 years ago? I know my grandfather hit my grandmother once early on. I know she got him back and went to jail for it. that doesn’t mean they didn’t make amends, make it work and stay with one another until death did they part.
Exiled!
December 11th, 2012
12:11 pm
Same place is Heaven-Christianity.
Or Gone to Allah-Islam
….driving lol
czBrat ♀
December 11th, 2012
12:15 pm
HA! jermaine jax classic on-topic on majic right now. dunno the name tho. “do what you do”??
Celisea
December 11th, 2012
12:15 pm
how do we know they weren’t that buck wild couple that used to knock the taste out of each others’ mouths 40-50 years ago?
disco – If they live to tell about it and didn’t kill one another, maybe it was love….lol I just personally don’t think hurting another can be laid to “cause I loooove him/her”…IJS But, whatever gets you there in the end huh? I get the overall concept though that if folks love it then I like it (cause that’s my mantra), I just think REALLY loving (without being able to concretely define) does not or should not include abuse. Hey, maybe it’s the norm to them.
Celisea
December 11th, 2012
12:16 pm
Plus, I was making convo…sort of kind of….until my 1:00
I should be working. Shoot, I can’t afford to even be on here today.
kimmie
December 11th, 2012
12:17 pm
Disco/Exiled – I know that even though couples used to stay together and divorce was frowned upon, that doesn’t mean everything was a bed of roses. But I’m with Leggs on this, can we stick to the positive? Can’t we all strive for better, even if we don’t have it? I think we all understand that the ghetto exists. We don’t have to constantly be reminded of that fact. If you know better, then strive for better, do better, think better thoughts. If you’re not in the ghetto and/or managed to get out, let it stay where it is sometimes!!
disco
December 11th, 2012
12:20 pm
now leaving songs and going to movie quotes. Lackawanna blues – “sometimes a man and woman have an understanding that don’t nobody else understand”.
kimmie – even with sticking with the positive – who are we kidding? all those happy love stories weren’t all happy, all the time. lol.
kimmie
December 11th, 2012
12:25 pm
disco – I know, I just get sick of it sometimes. Things aren’t happy all the time, but they damn sure don’t have to be miserable all the time either. We work hard enough for better, at least I do. I want to enjoy it and feel uplifted. Life’s too damn short.
cba
December 11th, 2012
12:26 pm
I won’t even try to define “love” but I know what “it ain’t”. If you are constantly being belittled, disrespected, physically abused…..that could escalate to you being 6ft under, then what?
So on your tombstone, it’ll read he/she LOVED me to death. That’s a form of love???
Celisea
December 11th, 2012
12:29 pm
cba – ding ding ding ding….sho you’re right
Comon Cents
December 11th, 2012
12:37 pm
Good afternoon, bloggies!
I have been missing you guys so I am stopping in for just a minute.
What is love? Hmmm… I guess I look at it like the SCOTUS judge definied pornography; I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.
What’s good everyone?
Exiled!
December 11th, 2012
12:38 pm
Kimmie..is it fair if I say U look at the concept of love in western terms?
Speaking of abuse,if your hubby said he ain’t cool with u ‘exposing skin to the outside’ so henceforth u only wear pants wld that be abuse in your understanding?
Now how about if he says ‘nope u gone have to cover ur face up’ so no jokkers can see u pretty so they don’t have to holla at u?
But says he lubz u!
See that’s a luving Islamic woman right there and they(men and woman) wl sear,apart, that they love each other. Right?
To each their own is very apt coz the moment u want to shove ur version down my throat or the offer….ummmmmmm
Most (maybe a lot)men in the west luv a Lil polygamy…I know this for a fact
But they won’t say that in the women’s faces or in public coz of women power and PCness!
Exiled!
December 11th, 2012
12:40 pm
Now,when a woman tattoos the name of her luver on a Tata is that luv or stupidity?
I am not going to impose my thoughts on uall.
disco
December 11th, 2012
12:44 pm
cba – recently I was having a discussion with my mother where I was telling her how tickled I was with the drama going on in someone’s life. that person was just venting up a storm to me and meanwhile I was cracking up. my mother said I was a misery loves company type and I had to beg to differ. I tend to vent on an as needed basis and hold very little back. some others (this friend in particular) always hold things in until they practically explode. meanwhile, when I witness the explosion, i thing it’s hilarious. the more they fuss, the more I laugh. it’s not that I don’t understand or am not empathetic but for some, fussing is out of character and it tickles me.
ex – I already said I’m feeling your thoughts (today).
i'm swiss
December 11th, 2012
12:47 pm
Ah, the Force MD’s… I haven’t heard them in ages… What was that other kinda hit they had in the 80s… Tender Love or something…?
Oh, and howdy blogville!
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
December 11th, 2012
1:04 pm
@Swiss – forgive me, but I’m not up on the news; have you and Mrs. Swiss had the Mocha swirl yet?
Exiled!
December 11th, 2012
1:17 pm
Uall know that Beyonce song that she be ‘popping popping my back,swirling my back at u baby’ is a tad beneath her.
That’s Trina like territory!
czBrat ♀
December 11th, 2012
1:20 pm
aaaand speaking of lovey dovey movies. s/o surprised me with love jones on vacay. FINALLY got to see what all the fuss has been about.
the bad thing with that kind of anticipation is that it’s almost impossible to measure up. bottom line, i was less than impressed.
what should have been a story about two people trying to beat the odds to be with each other just came across to me as two jokers playing games and hoping all the lies would work in their favor.
*shrugs*
SlimNu: Life always happens
December 11th, 2012
1:24 pm
czBrat –
Yeah there was a lot of game playing but it’s no different than what happens in everyday dating.
czBrat ♀
December 11th, 2012
1:29 pm
exactly, slim!
i thought the movie did more to support my cynical perspective that people are basically (and biologically) just full of sh!t. s/o thought it was crazy sweet.
cba
December 11th, 2012
1:31 pm
disco- if I have a choice between drama and drama-free, I’ll choose drama-free every time. I’m also a realist and drama will occur regardless but as I’ve gotten good and grown; I don’t make drama from a grain of sand but a boulder……we gotta talk
Even then, it doesn’t need to linger indefinitely.
Years ago, I had an issue with suppressing things and as you stated, sometimes that balloon will explode.
Leggs
December 11th, 2012
1:41 pm
“Speaking of abuse,if your hubby said he ain’t cool with u ‘exposing skin to the outside’ so henceforth u only wear pants wld that be abuse in your understanding?” – DAMN, no, that’s not abuse. That’s understanding your husband doesn’t like something and you’re agreeing to change/submit/acquiesce/ (whatever word you want to use) to your husband.
Abuse = a corrupt practice or custom. To ask your wife to change something is just that, asking! To beat her over the head with a bat until she succumbs is abuse. Two different things, Ex. But since you like to push the envelope, keep on!!!
i'm swiss
December 11th, 2012
1:45 pm
Not yet, Dan. She’s due on the 24th. I’ve already put the bow on Mrs. Swiss’ hoo-ha.
Exiled!
December 11th, 2012
1:48 pm
Since Iike to push envelope?
Hmmmm
I like to stick the knife in as much as u!
@Leggs
czBrat ♀
December 11th, 2012
1:49 pm
i’ve been accused of holding things in. from where i stand, tho, if it’s something we’ve discussed a hundred times already, i’m not gonna make this 101. i will deal in my own way and on my own time.
i find it works better than blowing a fuse.
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
December 11th, 2012
1:50 pm
Aight den @Swiss,
But if in the days of “wedding presents” and “birth presents” you can get away with not buying the wife a gift for Christmas/birth of your child – I bow to your pimp game.
We’re praying for both of y’all this way bruh.
SlimNu: Life always happens
December 11th, 2012
1:51 pm
czBrat – lol, Good point but I did enjoy the poetry it had in it.
O/T: Did any of you all watch Who’s Black in America on Sunday night?
Bluzgirl
December 11th, 2012
1:51 pm
Another slow day on here, I see…I miss ITL!!! She’s been so busy with work these days and doesn’t have the time to chime in…
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
December 11th, 2012
1:54 pm
True story:
We were getting my wife’s wedding ring sized before the wedding and the lady at Kay was like “what are you getting each other for wedding gifts?”
I responded (quickly) “a house.” My wife said “kids.” And as the lady looke at both of us, we responded “isht, that’s enough right there.”
Though later my wife’s friend tried to slyly ask if I got her anything as a gift – “Um, me. That’s gift enough.” She called me ‘cheap’ and tried to walk away, but not before I got in “oh, and the house you’re sleeping in versus a hotel.”
George Jefferson strutted that chick the whole rest of the weekend.
Leggs
December 11th, 2012
1:55 pm
“I like to stick the knife in as much as u!
@Leggs” – Not even true! I play devil’s advocate at times, you, my friend, mow people down!
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
December 11th, 2012
1:56 pm
*looked
Exiled!
December 11th, 2012
2:00 pm
U do like to mow me!
@Leggs
Ur play to me ain’t devils advocate. It’s hard core
And u want go act innocent when I come after u
Quit that.
If u come after me I come after u
It’s that simple
If u didn’t know now u know!
Button
December 11th, 2012
2:03 pm
What is love?
KJV – Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
NIV – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Celisea
December 11th, 2012
2:07 pm
I almost said earlier that God is love and true love, real love comes from God…and transend into relationships and marriages and thus the proof that no form of abuse is love. But, I agree with the KJV defintion.
Back to paying attention in my meeting….
I should have grabbed a bite to eat before the meeting. We have another hour to go.
Leggs
December 11th, 2012
2:08 pm
Ex ~ never act innocent with you. When I say I don’t know what you’re saying, I actually mean that.
When I say I play devil’s advocate, wasn’t talking about playing with you. I was referring with posts where I flip the script.
And, I know more than you think I know….it’s really that simple!
cba
December 11th, 2012
2:11 pm
Celisea- borrow a couple of chips from your girl
Exiled!
December 11th, 2012
2:14 pm
We had a truce way back,don’t respond to my posts if u don’t like me responding back to u.
My discussion was with Kimmie,not U.
and here u come and poison it.
Now she won’t respond to me coz there u are,grabbing the headlights!
U are not anybody’s mouthpiece! They may respect u but still
We All adults….(I mow people? So)
They can mow me back!
Please…I respectfully ask u to know better
Coz I won’t take u lying down
If u wanna play let’s get it on
Celisea
December 11th, 2012
2:15 pm
cba – I can’t, we’re on differen teams. We’re in the conference room right now. She sits next to me but she’s on the federal government team so she’s not in here. She had chips today though….
i'm swiss
December 11th, 2012
2:19 pm
Dan — Thanks, bro. Actually, Mrs. Swiss’ Christmas gift & birth gift are coming a little later. She’s getting her ride up-sized to an SUV.
cba
December 11th, 2012
2:19 pm
tryin to help a sista out
wow!! she’s consistent
Celisea
December 11th, 2012
2:20 pm
cba – ‘Preciate that…lol Unless she’s not here or there’s a floor function, she’s gonna have chips. IT’S EVERYDAY!!! LOL
Celisea
December 11th, 2012
2:21 pm
Not sure if the chips are accompanied by a sandwich but I know for certain chips and a diet coke….lol
kimmie
December 11th, 2012
2:22 pm
Exiled – I really don’t give a flying flip about what other folks in other countries or religions consider love or abuse. I just get tired of having to be reminded of the ghetto, bad side of everything, all the damn time. I get sick of that ghetto/slave mentality and approach to life. Yeah it is possible for a man to love a woman without going upside her head or barking out orders to her. Yeah it’s possible for a woman to not nag and beyotch with her man about everything and yall just live a pleasant existance.
And Leggs comments are always welcome to me.
Leggs
December 11th, 2012
2:25 pm
Ex ~ I don’t know what you’re talking about re: kimmie. I really don’t. I went to lunch and came back on and responded to a post you put out. I thought that’s what we do here. I’m not trying to get into an arguing match with you or anyone else. Just responding to things you’re saying to me. I have that right.
I have no problem with you responding to anything I put out here. Figure I have the same right to do the same.
So what I say you mow folk down. That’s my stance, wasn’t giving you feedback on anything anyone else has said. They can do what they like when they like. Just like most here know I speak my mind. Some like it, some don’t. Such is life…
Coz I won’t take u lying down – Most definitely!
Exiled!
December 11th, 2012
2:26 pm
Thanks Kimmie!
Lol
Celisea
December 11th, 2012
2:26 pm
I’m sitting next to Derek…one of the guys that flew in today for the meeting and dinner. It’s weird that he’s bald, and sports no facial hair. He ain’t a bad looking brother but I was just looking at him. No beard, no mustache, sporting a bald. He’s got eyebrows and eyelashes though.
Just my observation…while sitting here looking around the room.