Are you dating a shape shifter?
Why yes, you read the title right: Shape Shifters! I know, I have been watching way too many vampire, walking dead, sci-fi sorts of things but bare with me here: Have you ever met someone who seemed to “me too” you too many times? You know, the people who want so badly to find common ground with you. They start to make it seem as if you were practically switched at birth or something! It can be quite odd and a little creepy, to be honest.
Imagine how it feels to find out the person you are dating is a lot like that. I call them shape shifters. They bend, contort, and distort their actual lives, personality, and behavior so that the person they are dating thinks they are soul mates. Listen to this PSA people: Never, ever, ever stay in a relationship with a shape shifter.
The minute their actual personality starts to seep through, will freak you out. You start to recall blatant lies they told you. You find out they are the polar opposite of what they represented. Even if their “actual” self may not be all that bad, you don’t know if it is worth the risk to find out!
So how can you know for sure that the person you are dating isn’t just pretending to be compatible with you? Do you do a little background check? Get character references? How do you spot a shape shifter and what do you do when you encounter one?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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139 comments Add your comment
Bluzgirl
December 10th, 2012
12:21 pm
disco – I was totally fine, until I got home and it hit me. I had to chug the last half of the drink cause my friends were ready to go. I thought I was just going to go in and go to bed, but then I got sick. I can’t tell you the last time I got sick from drinking. I’m just glad it happened at home. At least I felt totally fine on Saturday since it all left my system Fri night!
Bluzgirl
December 10th, 2012
12:22 pm
And…that’s another reason I need to stay away from liquor…I can’t seem to stop once I start on it. That’s only the second time I’ve had liquor since that night with Mags and both times were at birthday celebrations where I was well taken care of. No interest in having it again for a long time! LOL!
i'm swiss
December 10th, 2012
12:22 pm
Leggs — Dang… How come all the blog ladies gotta shoot me down right off the bat like that? Yes, in the real world I’m married. And no, in the real world nothing is going to be popping off (and, in the real world I wouldn’t even try it), but come on, ladies! This is the blog world. It’s virtual. At least let a blog bro think, hypothetically, he might could possibly get it if he were single…
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
12:26 pm
disco ~ yes, we will forever look at pointing as a disrespectful thing to do.
OMG, For Real, I literally covered my mouth to stifle my loud laugh. Umm bday licks…ummm, ummm. whew!
swiss ~ we, well I, shoo you off, because it’s the respectable thing to do. Even though we’re in Blogsville, your ass is married in real life (lol). And, I like you as a person in real lie. Some gets a bit carried away with this virtual blogging and feel they can say anything…respect should still be front and center (JMHO)!!!!
Bluzgirl
December 10th, 2012
12:27 pm
I’m out, but I’ll check in later if I feel up to it!
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
12:27 pm
I know, I know, just took a little fun out of virtual flirting. I apologize. Don’t mind me. Of course do your thang….
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
12:31 pm
My last Long Island was at Happy Hour at a place on P’tree called Fitzgerald’s. Drinks were strong as heck and Wednesdays was two for one. Had two of those bad boys, and knew I was in trouble when I couldn’t find a way to touch the floor with my feet trying to offf that bar stool. I left my car in the parking lot that night and took a cab home. That was my last tea!
disco
December 10th, 2012
12:31 pm
swiss – or you can imagine that all of the blog chicks are virtually pregnant. lol. approximately 8 months or so.
i'm swiss
December 10th, 2012
12:32 pm
Leggs — No worries, you know I’m just playing (as with almost everything on here) with that little rant. R-E-S-P-E-C-T is definitely cool with me.
Of course, I do have a lot of respect for a woman who takes her birthday licks like a grown & sexy woman, too… IJS…
i'm swiss
December 10th, 2012
12:34 pm
disco —
Aw man, you’re cold blooded. That cut me to the blue ball, let me tell you…
disco
December 10th, 2012
12:40 pm
swiss – you are right. that was not called for. I’ll get in line behind leggs and wait my turn for some licks. lol. btw, if I may ask. will these licks be bare-handed? will there be a paddle, a switch, an extension cord?
i'm swiss
December 10th, 2012
12:43 pm
“will these licks be bare-handed?”
Who said anything about a hand? They’re called “licks” for a reason…
disco
December 10th, 2012
12:46 pm
swiss – well in that case one doesn’t have to wonder if it will hurt. lol. here I was about to put an extra pair of sweats on underneath my pants to ease the sting.
i'm swiss
December 10th, 2012
12:54 pm
disco — Yeah, definitely no need for the sweats. Let that thang breeeeeeeve.
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
1:05 pm
swiss ~ I definitely know you’re playing.
“…will these licks be bare-handed? will there be a paddle, a switch, an extension cord?” – You’re kidding ,right, disco?? I fell out laughing. This is the blog, only one kind of licks come from the guys!!!
MsAtl
December 10th, 2012
1:09 pm
C’mon Disco- you trying to traumatize someone. I remember those Brookly a$$ whuppings with the extension cord.
SlimNu: Life always happens
December 10th, 2012
1:10 pm
And there goes the rain…
Celisea
December 10th, 2012
1:12 pm
These heffas on RHOLA just soooo hateful
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
1:13 pm
Not there “goes” the rain. Now, here “comes” the rain.
Celisea
December 10th, 2012
1:15 pm
My bad….BBWofLA
SlimNu: Life always happens
December 10th, 2012
1:15 pm
Correction: “here”
SlimNu: Life always happens
December 10th, 2012
1:30 pm
Leggs – Might want to check your spam ???
Willie Dynamite
December 10th, 2012
1:38 pm
Afternoon all,
Shape shifter huh. In my world they get taken advantage of, unfortunately for them. Thanks to my ego and generally being an azz hole these folks along with yes men/women usually draw the full wrath of my personality.
What else you folks got going on? I’m in a helluva some kinda mood today.
SlimNu: Life always happens
December 10th, 2012
1:42 pm
WD – what kind of mood are you in, something negative like you could pop off on someone at any given moment…or you feeling lethargic, sad, down, indifferent, frisky?
Willie Dynamite
December 10th, 2012
1:47 pm
Slim- prolly not surprising to those that know me but to answer your ?. Deviously reserved but frisky. As someone recently told me; calculating. Gotta love the mind. It is a beautiful thing.
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
1:49 pm
I wasn’t going to ask WillieD, because I had a feeling you would say exactly what you said. Got a wild hair and don’t/can’t get it pulled.
Willie Dynamite
December 10th, 2012
1:52 pm
Leggs- shet it up hahaha. And if you really know me you know I don’t grow wild hairs, I cultivate them.
Bluzgirl
December 10th, 2012
1:58 pm
Sitting at the dentist, waiting for my appointment, but had to share good news. My therapist agreed that I can take a break from sessions. Today was the last one my insurance will cover, so we discussed that I’ve been doing really well and can take a break and call him when needed. He’s been wonderful, so I told him I promised I wouldn’t go to someone new because it will only be $20 more than my copay when I do need to go back. I’ll know when I need to see him again! I’m just very happy with it!
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
2:01 pm
Yeah, you cultivate, then they fall off because the roots haven’t been watered!!!!
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
2:01 pm
BA DA BING…LOL
Willie Dynamite
December 10th, 2012
2:05 pm
Funny, funny. Hence the term Wild. No fertilizer needed.
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
2:13 pm
Yeah, but why let them continue to grow wild if no one’s admiring what you’ve been cultivating (lol).
DuShawn
December 10th, 2012
2:16 pm
I don’t grow wild hairs, I cultivate them…….That reminds me of a T-Shirt my potnah wore at this past essence festival. On the front it said in big bold letters “I DONT DATE SINGLE MOTHERS” then on the back “I CREATE THEM”…… On another note, I could swear my 11 year old daughter has a hickey on her neck. She talking about she got that bruise playing basketball, then showed me another little scrape on her elbow. I know a dayum hickey when I see one, but I want to believe her. I would hate to let wifey whupp her little behind and she is being truthful. More importantly, I would hate to think that she is being put in those types of situations so early in life. Last Thursday and Friday, the school honor society had a national convention in Macon. It was an overnight trip. This was her second year attending. I believe that is when my security was breached. Any thoughts?
disco
December 10th, 2012
2:17 pm
bluz – lol. really? insurance runs out and you’re all better? am I the only one that thinks this sounds suspect? not even saying whether or not you still need therapy. my thing is if you are well enough today then you were likely well enough last week. dude was in this to get paid. lol.
disco
December 10th, 2012
2:18 pm
dushawn – I’m trying real hard not to crack up. did you refer to it as a security breach? did she not have a second bruise to draw attention away from the first bruise? hilarious. darned honor students. might as well let her hang with the detention kids.
Willie Dynamite
December 10th, 2012
2:20 pm
Du- as a Father of a 11 y/o lil girl myself I say this with respect and remorse. Do you remember yourself as a pre teen/teen?
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
2:21 pm
Dushawn ~ sorry, but first thing I thought of was all the lesbians in training on the track team and bball team. I was very leery in middle school. I think middle school can be worse than high school. You have to stay vigilant is the best advice I can give. And even the looke of hickeys have evolved from back in our day. I think. I never liked those ugly, painful anything but passion marks.
And, I’m surprised your friend didn’t get stoned wearing such a degrading tee-shirt!!
disco
December 10th, 2012
2:23 pm
willie d – while you casually try to shift the issue to boys being boys let me be the one to put it out there that some little girls (not necessarily yours D but…) come into this world hot in the tail. sure little boys make their moves but some little girls are making moves too. ijs.
leggs – I didn’t even want to go that route. I hate to say it but I’d probably be more ticked about that than some little knucklehead boy nibbling on my daughters neck. and that’s not about being anti-pride but can she at least save the experimenting until hs/college? lol.
DuShawn
December 10th, 2012
2:30 pm
W/D That’s why I’m so concerned. I will get to the truth, trust that. I got a Confidential Informat that attended that trip as well….Her younger sister. My baby girl will snitch, if I get her alone at the mall.
If my supicions are confirmed, I’m finding the little boy, speakeing to his parents, and she won’t see the light of day until she’s 25.
- Leggs- Dog T-shirt was an instant conversation starter. Women were stopping him in the street to talk about it. That was his purspose. Most thought it was funny not degrading.
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
2:31 pm
disco ~ I had to go that route. Mine was on the track team and I saw plenty. Hell, the head coach wound up losing her job over all that nonsense!
Celisea
December 10th, 2012
2:32 pm
Prepare yourself, payback is a b!tch. And it stings twice as much as you dished it. IJS
Not to be mean or rude but it is what it is…brace yourself
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
2:33 pm
Another example of people dumbing down, DuShawn. Sure, a conversation starter, but nothing cute about it.
Celisea
December 10th, 2012
2:35 pm
With little kids coming of age, especially girls, it would seem like that would be an instant cure to shenanigans…I guess not huh? IJS
Celisea
December 10th, 2012
2:40 pm
My bad for sticking my comments in there….lol Carry on Dushawn and WillieD. Shoot, I was just peeking in. Nothing too much going on anyway. What’s up with a few tales being told…lol
Carry on!!
MsAtl
December 10th, 2012
2:42 pm
DuShawn- “that is when my security was breached.” I am cracking up over your choice of terms.
Bluz- If the therapist really feels you have progressed to the point where you can take a break, that is great. I would think it would be unethical & actually abandonment if his decision is based solely on insurance. Either way, you know if and when you need to go back, insurance or not. Take care of yourself.
disco
December 10th, 2012
2:52 pm
leggs – I don’t doubt the legitimacy of your claims. just owning that I don’t think I’d be prepared to deal with that one. I feel kind of bad too since I’m always claiming to be relatively open minded. still if a 10-11 year old child of my were doing some same sex experimenting I would wrap my hands around their neck. goodness. we played house and doctor and hide and go get it and countless other grown games but we weren’t experimenting like that. I wouldn’t trip so much if said child were 16 or 17 but 10. oh hecky naw.
DuShawn
December 10th, 2012
2:55 pm
It’s not me she really has to fear. When I escalated it to wifey, it got real serious real fast. I was asked to excuse myself so they could talk. I went to the basement, finished watching the game and hoped she didn’t kill her. I literally don’t allow them to use the term boyfriend… It’s a curse word. I’m rethinking that position now. It’s probably why she was so scared to tell me what happened. Then again, maybe it did happen playing ball. I thought I had a couple of more years before I would have to face the inevitable.
Leggs
December 10th, 2012
2:57 pm
I understand, disco. There was one parent that went plum crazy when she found our her girl “dabbled” (h.s.) and is now seeing a young lady in college. Man, talking about a NYer that can cuss. I truly felt sorry for her daughter!
I remember being so pained when I walked into my child’s middle school only to find a little girl I knew pregnant. I wanted to cry….
disco
December 10th, 2012
3:00 pm
dushawn – it’s funny how little boyfriends and girlfriends are cute in elementary school. by middle school they become a bit taboo. parents sending mixed messages. lol.
leggs – thing is I could accept a gay child and it wouldn’t be overly traumatic. I’m just stuck on stupid with the idea of kids that young experimenting same sex. boggles the mind.
SlimNu: Life always happens
December 10th, 2012
3:01 pm
Sorry, just got off an hour long, boring ass conference call
WD – No matter how wild dem herrrrs getting, just keep it safe
DuS – I remember when I was 16 and I got my first hickey, i tried to first cover it up. Then I told moms that I got bitten by something. She was not trying to hear any excuse because apparently, she knows a hickey when she see’s one too. I told yall regulars before that that was the worse and last time I got a whooping. My mom put me on punishment but that wasn’t enough. She called my dad who was living in B’ham at the time. All i know is when I got home from school that next day, he was waiting at the house on me just so he could tear my lil azz up.