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Online Deception: Catfish: The TV Show

Against my better judgment, I found myself sucked in to reality tv’s latest offering on MTV:
Catfish: The TV Show. The show originated from the documentary film, Catfish, about a guy who meets a woman online and falls for her, only to discover it was a all a hoax.

You would think with all of our daily use of technology, smart phones, video chats, etc. that it would be challenging to pretend to be somebody else. Sadly, the show seems to feature people who are really trusting, a little technologically challenging, and maybe a little gullible.

I couldn’t help but feel bad for the people who were faced with the revelation that the person who they grew to care for was either non-existent or misrepresenting themselves. How do you get past that kind of deception?

Have you ever experienced any Catfish situations online? Has anyone ever pretended to be someone else? If we continue to meet and interact online, what are tips we can use to navigate the shady and untrustworthy people?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog.

235 comments Add your comment

Celisea......on vacay!!

December 6th, 2012
6:22 am

Enter your comments here

Lady~it is what it is!

December 6th, 2012
6:42 am

guess I need to check the hype out. I have no clue! Morning C!

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
7:02 am

Oooops, not sure how that happened…I hadn’t started typing.

I have never signed up to become a member of a virtual dating site….not my thing. I have though, interacted virtually and have had about 5 guys to reach out in an effort to pursue something. Not my thing. Two, I sort of played footsies with. The rest, nooooo. Well let me tell you….

Both dudes I communicated with over a year but not at the same time. I will say the time though did overlap. The first dude wasn’t bad and probably more true to who he said he was than the second dude. I didn’t get the feeling of him trying to date several women or just being an out all liar. I acutally met the first dude who wasn’t bad….until he went moist. That’s the worst. But I don’t need to rant about that.

The second dude? OooooMGosh!! Talk about Catfish. I never met him and I’m glad it never reached that point, although we bounced around the idea. Nothing about him was real. To this day, I still believe he attempted on several women. It ain’t rocket science. You can “read” lies and hear untruths. I think so many depend on having that blindside and jump all over the opportunity to deceive in the dark world of virtual hooking up…lol Not only that, he got angry with me, had a trantrum and blabbed what he and I discussed in private. Yep, he spilled it…. shy of dropping my name. For me, all bets are off at that point. Ummmm, whose gonna deal with that? :shock: That dude broke code by doing that. I even took the high road, cause he seemed to not be able to let go and reached out to make amends. He just took that another way. So, I finally came to the realization that maybe there was something mental going on and moved on away. He confirmed for me to NEVER do anything virtually. Noooo way. Buddy snooped more than once in emails to me, etc etc etc Yeah, I talked about him and his lack of character. You’re mad cause I talked about your lack of character but you’re in my emails under guise??? Ummm, okay then. I owed this dude nothing after all he did. Of course he would probably never see it that way. And although he adamantly denied having several women, it just wouldn’t have been like him to do otherwise.

Sure, in the virtual world you can hide and lie behind the screen. You can be Mr. Wonderful all the while lying. Who would really know?
Overall, that situation just confirmed for me what I always thought about the world of virtual dating. Lies and deception, most of the time.

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
7:02 am

Morning Lady!! :)

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
7:07 am

IMO, people that lie and deceive are drawn to these type places/sites. I’m not knocking it 100%, because I believe there are some folks out there really looking and looking to be truthful. And yes, people that are liars you meet everyday, I just think virtual dating is a breeding ground for people that spin webs, to get it done.

lee

December 6th, 2012
7:25 am

I never watched catfish really don’t watch tv. You can meet shady people anywhere and people lie all the time– they are everywhere. So the manner in which you first met means nothing. Its just easier for them to do it on-line, i see it all the time on face-book, people are trying to impress others how wonderful their lives are or poor me omg what am i to do.. boohoo, and their lives are fine they are looking for the sympathy vote… dear lord i have several. lol
Trust is earned not given- do not give it fully without knowledge that the person deserves it.
Ask questions if things don’t add-up, step away.
and some you can know a life time without knowing truly who they are inside.
i don’t know what happened to my first post… but ohwell

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
7:52 am

OOOOOOOOOMG, the Play of the Day on GMA was waaaay too cute. A baby and a man on the corner (peddling), I’m assuming. But the baby steals the show. There’s opera playing, the man lip synching (sp), I guess but the baby is singing the song and loud. Sooooo cute.

Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday

December 6th, 2012
8:01 am

Has anyone ever pretended to be someone else?
I have known people to do this

Have you ever experienced any Catfish situations online?
No

If we continue to meet and interact online, what are tips we can use to navigate the shady and untrustworthy people?
Get to know people before going all goo goo over them. You should use the same precautions online that you use offline, for some odd reason we seem to forget anyone can lie to you, no matter where you meet them.

ou would think with all of our daily use of technology, smart phones, video chats, etc. that it would be challenging to pretend to be somebody else. Sadly, the show seems to feature people who are really trusting, a little technologically challenging, and maybe a little gullible.
the only difference with online is that people sometimes can lie about their appearance, for me if you don’t have web cam, or can’t send me several picture from your phone at several different times, we can’t talk.

Also, I don’t care where we meet, for the first 5 to 6 months, it’s all fluff, not going to really start paying attention until then.

Friends first
Relationship if it develops!

Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday

December 6th, 2012
8:08 am

Lee, it’s not just facebook, it just gave people a broader range of people to tell their stories too. Co-workers do it, friends do it, strangers will even do it. hell some even do it here!!

Lee

December 6th, 2012
8:40 am

Thats true Single, i was just using that as an example.

Exiled!

December 6th, 2012
8:43 am

Online is for losers if u looking for a relationship coz a loser and failure in offline dating will get a hit.

A hit is good for females(I guess men too) coz it makes u feel like men like u. So who is not to hit u online if u show a 30 year old mag shot when u were trim and lean? :lol: The taste of the visual is when u actually meet,then you’ll realize when this 350 pound Amazon says,’hello I’m Hazel’ :shock: That’s right!

So why waste ur time? Really!

Meet them at Publix live,at Kroger live,at Qt live,at the Mall live etc.

Then approach unless u are shy and a loser! Or u are female and not getting live hits…and I understand not every female gets hits.

Now,if it’s bootey u want then go Online!

@MsAtl.. How did the fish turn out? I ended up ovening(verb) ours coz Queen took a detour . Like a natural that Iam it was good. Not my best but waay better than most long nailed chics on this blog could muster! :lol:

@at u booed chics.. I need to buy Queen a Xmas present,what would you recommend. Some sexxy and reasonably priced. Don’t give me the ‘what she likes cop out’, I get that. Lol

U too Celisea..u booed up and what’s ur man getting u if he asked?

Hey MIA!

Button

December 6th, 2012
8:45 am

I watched tow episodes of that show and the lies lies lies that people tell. I going to go back on demand to watch any missed episodes.

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 6th, 2012
8:45 am

Good morning,

I’ve seen that Catfish show and I’m confused on why a person would spend as much time virtually interacting as they do. How can a person allow themselves to get emotionally involved with people they haven’t met in person, or at least Skyped with. That’s just insane to me. I don’t even like long distance relationships, let alone one solely based on a computer screen, keyboard and keystrokes…(physical strokes are soooo much more fun and enjoyable ;-) )

Button

December 6th, 2012
8:46 am

Meant two episodes….

Good morning

Exiled!

December 6th, 2012
8:49 am

Let me warn u ladies I got very good taste! Lol

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 6th, 2012
8:51 am

And for those of you who haven’t watched, one chick had been having an online relationship with who she thought was some model working on the Celsea Lately Show for at least 8/9 months. Come to find out she was talking and falling in love with a butch looking CHICK the whole time :shock:

disco

December 6th, 2012
8:54 am

good morning.

ex – hazel? now that’s funny. don’t think I ever met anyone named hazel.

re topic – I’m not an online dater or a reality tv watcher so I’ll wait for random conversation about something else to kick in.

Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday

December 6th, 2012
9:06 am

Meet them at Publix live,at Kroger live,at Qt live,at the Mall live etc.
Yea cause there diffidently are any losers there (rotflmao)

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:14 am

Mmeello – You know, we haven’t discussed Christmas stuff yet :) But I liked the sweater I posted here the other day from Brooks Brothers. You know, something not too over the top but oozing with class. It’s not been a full year so I don’t think we should be dropping a ton of money on gifts. We tapped around this thing for months and really just these last couple of month took a deep dive (no pun intended) :)

A gift for Queen? You gotta tell us first what she has an appetite for

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:17 am

Sorry, I can’t do virtual…noooo buddy. I like meeting folks in person and that way you can at least have a jump on all the mystery that lies behind the person behind the screen.

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:22 am

I haven’t watched Catfish either but I got snippets of 20/20 or some evening show a couple of weeks ago that featured a reality show (and it could have been snippets of Catfish) where a dude work with folks in hooking them up with their online loves. Welll, this chick was all in love with some dude (they showed his pic…not bad) and was stoked to be meeting him after 8 months. Well, come to find out, there was a chick behind it all. The dude’s real gf used to bully (think that’s what the show said) the chick behind it all. In an effort to get back at the bully gf, she took his pic and built an online profile and had been communicating as this dude for about 4 years with several woman. When the cameras showed up, the chick behind it all was shocked and fessed up right there. That other chick was crushed. They did an update months later (same segment) and the chick crushed had finally met someone and said they’re were thriving.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 6th, 2012
9:22 am

I take the old route of meeting and getting acquainted personally. Although meeting in person doesn’t gaurantee a love affair will bloom it takes some guess work out of a blind circumstance. If you’re dating electronically proceed with caution as you would any place else. Making contact on a computer screen before meeting possibly makes it easier to meet in person.

Good Morning

Button

December 6th, 2012
9:23 am

a loser is going to be a loser whether online or offline.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 6th, 2012
9:27 am

Never seen Catfish, I haven’t heard of MTV in ages.

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:29 am

Well, skyping, sending pics, webcam…none of that takes the mystery out of it for me. So for me, having pics does nothing than if you didn’t…IMO For me, I want real live interaction. It’s all still a mystery unless it’s live and in living color :)

I actually met my boo at an event that I attended and I knew he was a good catch. Just took me a few months to get on board. I just teetered with the shifting and adjustments I’d have to do in making it work. That was my only drawback. Too, I didn’t want to miss out on potentially a good thing :mrgreen: Live and in living color and upclose and personal…lol

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 6th, 2012
9:29 am

@Button you sho is right about that. @9:23

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:32 am

MMeello – I always like “getaways.” Think you could give queen a getaway, maybe something different. Skiing or something like that? Something y’all could do after the holidays, maybe January but have the certificate or something to speak to it in a cute little box. Say a 3 or 4 day getaway and someone keep the kids? Y’all can snuggle and eat out and ski and have fun and gain weight…if you like :)

Exiled!

December 6th, 2012
9:33 am

Celisea…I was thinking in the direction of lingerie or that plus some other stuff.

I don’t usually do clothes coz women clothing is just so difficult unless if it’s a pair of shoes or boots.

She is usually impressed by my choices tho coz I also got good taste tho.

Exiled!

December 6th, 2012
9:35 am

Now yes Celisea she def likes travel and hotels and gateways even in Atlanta

She will digg that!

U got ideas?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 6th, 2012
9:35 am

Cely you’re a hands on lady, I like to feel the aura of the atmosphere in person. Like that live action.

Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday

December 6th, 2012
9:37 am

Online dating just like everything else, is a new form of something old! Personal ads were in the papers for decades. If you’re looking for a job, do you look in the hiring section of the paper or do you go online? if you’re looking for a car do you look in the auto section or do you go online? When you’re shopping do you look at the sales adds or do you go online? People have been doing this things for years just in a different form! There’s nothing wrong with it because it’s not for you, everything isn’t for everyone.

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:38 am

MMeello – Colorado!! Or even the Georgia Mountains. But I like Colorado. That might get expensive though. Maybe leave a Thursday and come back Sunday or Monday. Get a nice cabin and maybe ski time (or lessons). Just snuggle and enjoy the scenery. Stay in a place with a restaurant or cafe so if y’all don’t to drive or venture out too far, you can have everything at your fingertips. Make sure there’s a fireplace :mrgreen:

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:44 am

Blackfoote – Yep, I just feel better meeting people in person from the jump. It may not work out, but that’s just my preference.

Button

December 6th, 2012
9:45 am

Exile do you have soft hands or ol’rough hands? for some reason you I think you have the ol’rough rip ya stocking hands. LOL

Button

December 6th, 2012
9:47 am

right on Single, everything is not for everybody but you still have to be vigilant when doing so.

Leggs

December 6th, 2012
9:47 am

Never heard of Catfish. I don’t believe in virtually dating anyone.

Celisea ~ I saw the “Play of the Day,” and the little girl was too adorable.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 6th, 2012
9:50 am

LOL…….@Leggs
This word puts it all in perspective “virtually”.

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:50 am

Leggs – Glad someone else saw it. She was sooo cute, all nice and snuggly in her coat and stroller…lol

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:51 am

I just ate burnt raisin toast.

Celisea

December 6th, 2012
9:52 am

Scott Baio is 52!!

Button

December 6th, 2012
9:54 am

I did the online dating years ago following the trend against my better judgement I took the advise of a colleague who swore by it. She sold me on it and I thought what the heck, big mistake. Every guy I met had emotional problems beyond this world. I deactivated my account and washed my hands to online dating, it just wasn’t for me. It worked for my colleague and thousands of others who’s had success in finding love it just didn’t work for me. Everytime I see an ad for online dating I smh.

Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday

December 6th, 2012
9:55 am

Button you have to be vigilant these days when meeting anyone anywhere, you never know what people of capable of!

the funniest thing to me, is some people still have a problem using their card online, but will hand it to anyone at any restaurant with out a problem.

I’ve never known anyone get taking for anything that meet online, but I do know several that meet “Mr. Right” in person and got taken for a lot. The only difference is that the media isn’t going to find much of a story in that.

DuShawn

December 6th, 2012
9:56 am

The closest I ever came to online dating was a couple of years ago, I started a facebook page. I was totally green to how it worked. I located an old girlfriend I hadn’t seen in twenty years. I contacted her and gave her my cell number and email. Unknowingly, I apparently posted the information to her wall.
She called and told me everyone in the world could’ve seen my correspondence. Literally about 20 min later, Wifey sends me a friend request and then text me and says “I see you reaching out to your old chickenheads”. Man, I couldn’t cancel that page fast enough. The funny thing is, Facebook had a lot of instructions on how to get started, but nothing on how to permanently delete you page. I had to call the 800 help number to get off that Sh*%t.

Button

December 6th, 2012
9:58 am

virtual daters fall inlove with the illusion. It’s hardcore head game, nothing different than phone schex jmo

Leggs

December 6th, 2012
9:59 am

Exactly, BF. We can talk online and find out things about each other, but I’m not putting much stock into all that you say until we meet. I’m not even putting stock in your picture posted on your profile.

Button

December 6th, 2012
10:01 am

online dating is big business, I need to start me a millionaire matchmaker online dating site.

Lee

December 6th, 2012
10:04 am

A g/f of mine met this well put together guy while waiting to get her car fixed. Nice car nice clothes nice presentation. She was so excited, come to find out he is a scam artist. The car was not his, and everything he told her was a lie. He didn’t even have a place to live. If it wasn’t for her telling another friend of her date, she would have been another victim. Everyone needs to be careful.

Michelle

December 6th, 2012
10:04 am

I’m kinda shocked that so many seem to be against online dating. It’s the same as meeting a new person in a store or a bar. You meet, exchange numbers, see if you have good convo, and then agree to meet/date. Simple. The people on Catfish are letting the whole online thing go way tooooo looong. 8 months???? Weirdo’s. I know plenty of people who have met their SO online are doing very well. You keep it simple. If it’s not right, keep it moving. That’s whether you meet them at Publix, a swanky buckhead joint, or online!

Button

December 6th, 2012
10:06 am

Did anybody see the picture in Jet of the same schex married couple? I must say I was shocked!

disco

December 6th, 2012
10:07 am

lee – I’ll bite. so exactly how did her friend discover the scam and save the day?