I once heard a woman say that dating a man that allows her to walk all over him can be a major turn off. While she wants a nice guy, she does not want a doormat. She prefers a man that can exert some dominance over her and won’t let her get away with anything.
I can see her point when she refers to not dating a doormat, but wanting a man to dominate you seems like a slippery slope. What kind of boundaries would you want to have? How do you know when the man’s dominance goes beyond a “healthy” dominance and gets eerily close to the scary kind?
I am not referring to the sexy Christian Grey/Anastasia kind of arrangement, here. (I am sorry for making a Fifty Shades of Gray reference, forgive me?) I am talking about having an adult relationship with one dominating partner – the man, having most of the power in a relationship.
Ladies, do you think that you prefer some degree of dominance over you? Would you get bored by a man that “let’s you walk all over him?”
Men – in your experience, do you get a favorable response when you exert your masculine energy in a relationship?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
289 comments Add your comment
Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday
December 5th, 2012
10:43 am
Yea legs, I would say 80 to 85% of those in jail deserve to be there.
The other thing that gets me, the one’s I’ve known to wait always say these are good men
Bluzgirl
December 5th, 2012
10:43 am
S/H – that was the only time I ever tried to start an argument. I kind of thought that if we were going to get married, I’d like to know how he fights. I think that is important to know. He just always agreed with everything I said and did. When we would go out, it was always up to me to decide because he wanted me to be happy. Looking back, he was the only man who truly loved me. It was just the wrong time. I was too young to get married. I was turning into a social butterfly and he was more than happy just chilling in his room, watching movies or playing video games.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
December 5th, 2012
10:46 am
Single dude was a career criminal with no way of finding a job now her she work at AT&T 18 years. I can relate when love trumps all things and she was married to the dude. He provided nothing to the family except himself which probably was all she wanted.
Celisea
December 5th, 2012
10:46 am
Mmeello – Yes, it says submit as the husband is the head….as Christ is the head of the church. We can all identify with having a man and knowing him or wanting him to take his rightful place…THE LEAD/HEAD. Well, most of us women do, not all. Even so, nowhere in the bible does it indicate abuse or to misuse the role of the lead or be selective in certain areas, thus pushing the role to her….in some instances. That, IMO (of course), is the biggest way for a man to lose his woman’s respect…IJS Keeping in mind, the woman too was given as the man’s helpmeet/mate so, yes there are roles and both can’t lead and submission is a must if a relationship is going to thrive, but all done with reason and lovingly. Again, not using the “lead” as an advantage or misuse and abuse. And as the woman should be subject or submit to the man, the man should honor his wife.
God’s glory is man
Man’s glory is woman
Woman’s glory is her hair
Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday
December 5th, 2012
10:46 am
Ex, if you’re going to put it out there, put all of it out there
Ephesians 5:22-33
New International Version (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Leggs
December 5th, 2012
10:46 am
I would say 80 to 85% of those in jail deserve to be there. – OK, I rest my case.
Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday
December 5th, 2012
10:48 am
Black, love triumph for her, not for him (LOL)
Button
December 5th, 2012
10:51 am
Exile, I know what the Bible says about wives submitting to your own husbands
Yeah what Single says @ 10:46 even though I perfer using the KJV
Celisea
December 5th, 2012
10:52 am
Mmeello – I just spoke to it, cause it’s in me and I was raised in it. No need for me to copy and paste.
Too, Mmeello, I’m a KJV gal…ALWAYS
Exiled!
December 5th, 2012
10:56 am
Thank you Celisea and Single….
Now…
I was JS
Sara
December 5th, 2012
11:05 am
Squeeze my nip, no biting…
disco
December 5th, 2012
11:05 am
leggs – I’m totally caught up in stories of wrongful conviction. it’s jacked up that some states absolutely refuse to compensate folks once their convictions are overturned.
Button
December 5th, 2012
11:06 am
My guy is not the domineering type, his no’s are no and his yes is yes and with some persuasions I can turn the no into a yes. whoppee, Me on the other hand, I’ve been accused of being a domineering person all my adult life, but I’m learning to shave back some now that I know it just aint worth it.
Exiled!
December 5th, 2012
11:13 am
Sara …Squeeze my nip, no biting
how bout a lil biting on ur inner, upper thigh?
@Button
I’ve been accused of being a domineering ..
thats a veiled admission of guilty of being a dominnering person…..
how does ur man take it…
I think women who know they are dominnering carefully target their targets……well,it goes without saying anyway….
Leggs
December 5th, 2012
11:21 am
disco ~ I too am caught up on the wrongfully convicted stories. Some are compensated reasonably while others are not. That’s one of my points that not everyone in jail/prison is a bad seed. The injustices/corruption of the law is prevalent and much goes unchecked. To have those come out without bitterness flowing through their veins is remarkable and not sure how much of that is true once the cameras are turned off. Nonetheless, some are worthy of someone waiting for them…
Robert
December 5th, 2012
11:28 am
“Men – in your experience, do you get a favorable response when you exert your masculine energy in a relationship?”
lol…I have met women who are passive and aggressive. For example “passive” women are submissive and enjoy the sexual sensation of a dominating man (hair pulling, butt slapping, etc.). Passive women will cooperate. “Aggresive” women want to dominate their man. For example “aggressive” women have a very high sex drive. They want “bigger and better” and “deeper and deeper” every single time. Thank God for Viagra. I love “aggressive” women in the bedroom. They drive me wild.
Exiled!
December 5th, 2012
11:33 am
They want “bigger and better” and “deeper and deeper” every single time
Amen..halleluah Robert!
kimmie
December 5th, 2012
11:35 am
Leggs, did you hear the Strawberry Letter today?
Button
December 5th, 2012
11:43 am
oooh Robert I can be passive and aggressive, it’s good to twist things up!
Exile, as I stated earlier, I’ve calmed down since I know it will get me no where being that way. But don’t push me though, a girl is known to have flash backs///lol
disco
December 5th, 2012
11:46 am
leggs – you are right. some states pay fairly well. some pay something and I guess something is better than nothing. I read the central park five recently and those poor kids (grown men now) haven’t received anything.
i'm swiss
December 5th, 2012
11:47 am
Sorry, gotta do this — pet peeve:
dominate — Verb. The act of dominating. As in: “I will dominate my opponent in Saturday’s tennis match.”
dominant — Adjective. Describing a person, place or thing as “one who dominates.” As in: “With this post, I have become the dominant grammar nazi on this blog.”
Okay, I feel better now. Carry on.
Sara
December 5th, 2012
11:48 am
lick my ear, not my dariare…
Celisea
December 5th, 2012
11:51 am
Ion Sara, a few soft kisses on the butt cheeks ain’t half bad. Really really soft kisses
Celisea
December 5th, 2012
11:52 am
I was saying “I’on know Sara…..” You’re competely nude and on your tummy, while you get the soft kisses on the butt
Celisea
December 5th, 2012
11:53 am
and vice versa
Button
December 5th, 2012
11:54 am
like my ear and my dariare
Leggs
December 5th, 2012
11:54 am
kimmie ~ no, I didn’t. Should I go read it??
Leggs
December 5th, 2012
11:56 am
Curiosity piqued, so going to read it.
Exiled!
December 5th, 2012
12:01 pm
soft kisses on the neck….and soft kisses on the butt
thats the first step Celisea.as i lick from the back once,step back a lil..as if to say..’this is all mine”..then come back and lick some more..as i zero in at the apple,partially squeezed tween them round butt and thighs……
Swiss..dominate this grammar…..
disco
December 5th, 2012
12:32 pm
dang. was there early dismissal today or something?
Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday
December 5th, 2012
12:40 pm
Leggs, disco, who’s supposed to the the compensating? the person who lied or the court system that convicted them based on the evidence they had? DNA has done a lot to help curb that, but back in the day, most of the time all you had was eye witness testimony.
Also in this day and age, we’re quick to condemn someone before all the evidence is presented. You’re guilty until proven innocent, and then you just got away with it!
Sara
December 5th, 2012
12:40 pm
lights off, bra on…
Bluzgirl
December 5th, 2012
12:41 pm
I was just thinking that, disco. I had to step away for a little bit. Anyone have a new topic?
Celisea
December 5th, 2012
12:49 pm
Yesterday was a pretty good blog day!! Alright folks, I’m out of here…til later….maybe
disco
December 5th, 2012
12:50 pm
S/H – seems like you should at the very least be able to beat up the person/people who lied without any new charges. lol. in many of the cases the state/prosecution tampered with evidence for various reasons. maybe they wanted to believe the victim or eyewitness and they tried to make the evidence match the story. you’ll hear a lot about critical evidence being buried. this makes it really easy to find the state at fault. a lot of times, too, the police and prosecution have to keep their numbers up.
For Real
December 5th, 2012
12:53 pm
My type of “man” ain’t for you if I have to:
- Check you. You grown know when to shut up and you know when to speak up.
- Pay all the bills while you use your money on shoes. Again, I don’t need a chick that acts like a child and needs to be taken care of.
- Believes that relationships are 50/50. Ain’t nothing on this planet is 100% so 50/50 is fuggin impossible.
Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday
December 5th, 2012
12:55 pm
Disco, when the aystem does that, they should be held liable! I’m like you I should get one free pass, (double jeopardy) LOL
That’s the 15% I’m talking about. When you know your man wasn’t doing anything wrong, nothing wrong with waiting. But now you know Ray Ray was slanging and banging, you knew his ass was going to jail one day.
For Real
December 5th, 2012
12:56 pm
Oh and hell yes women like to be dominated. Women hate being responsible for failure. They require a dude to blame.
disco
December 5th, 2012
12:57 pm
for real – when I said a man that can check me and I fall in line and be checked I mean it in the sense that a man whose final say I’ll respect. I don’t just let every man’s word be final just because he’s male. a lot of men know not of what the heck they speak. re knowing when to shut up. I’ve also joked that when I meet the man that tells me to shut up/hush/be quiet and I do it, well then I’ll know I’ve met my match. generally shut up or be quiet can border on fighting words.
Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday
December 5th, 2012
12:59 pm
For real, umm they blame the dude no matter what!! (LOL)
Disco, checked (LOL)
Leggs
December 5th, 2012
1:13 pm
Just got back from cafe and was putting change in wallet. I can’t believe my eyes, I have a buffalo head nickel. I didn’t even think these were still in circulation. I have 2 saved up in mint condition, along with my lady head mercury dime. But to see a nickel like this in circulation brings back memories.
Single ~ from the cases I’ve seen on the news, the State pays. No sense in exacting your own brand of punishment on others involved in putting you behind bars just to find yourself again behind bars.
Leggs
December 5th, 2012
1:19 pm
Single, glad to see you softened up, even just a smidgen because your first post out the gate felt like everyone was stupid for waiting for someone locked up. 15% is acceptable.
Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday
December 5th, 2012
1:23 pm
Leggs, now i did say I wasn’t talking about the ones that were locked up on false charges.
Exiled!
December 5th, 2012
1:26 pm
what?? bra on??
u kidding me right?
Sara…i want to pull those yuummie babies!
Exiled!
December 5th, 2012
1:29 pm
When you know your man wasn’t doing anything wrong
Single..what if he was doing drugs But feeding the family and bringing the mula home…not the strip joint?
Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday
December 5th, 2012
1:31 pm
Leggs, also that 15% aren’t going to be out screwing another man while their man is locked up, they’re going to be spending most of their time trying to clear his name. That’s was what I was referring to about her having no dignity. She was just looking for a filler until he got out.
Leggs
December 5th, 2012
1:32 pm
Gotcha, Single.
SlimNu: Life always happens
December 5th, 2012
1:32 pm
Afternoon folks,
I’m still trying to catch up but i’m curious, i’ve heard men say they do not want a women who will let them get away with stuff and that they like the fiestiness of some chicks. What is that about? Now i’m supposed to control you? When you do something I don’t like and I tell you about it, do i have to cuss and throw things through the walls to get my point across?
Single and Happy Wondrous Wednesday
December 5th, 2012
1:33 pm
Ex, see my 10:31
Exiled!
December 5th, 2012
1:34 pm
. I don’t just let every man’s word be final just because he’s male
@Disco…u single chics take things waaay left All the dayme time…well some of u
are u saying there are women who will defer to a man jus coz he got a penis…and still be considered a less than air head? OR just trying to differentiate urself just so u seem independent of thought…
I dont think there is a sane women out there,not in slavery, who wld just do that Disco..just so he is a man, i will zip…..
Ummmm….u over dramatising, I think, which single women do a lot…
ohhhh, i aint gon cook just coz he asked
ohhh, i go to the club if i want to..
ohhhh….
Come on Man!