Substance over superficial?
My friend Panama participated in a relationship panel that listed “substance over superficial” as part of a man’s wish list. I won’t come out and call shenanigans on this title completely, because women are known to be superficial creatures too. However, I want to know how many men can truly say they value substance more than superficial things?
I have seen a lot of men who get blinded by the beauty and completely overlook glaring red flags. When they learn the woman’s character is horrendous, do they take their lesson and choose better the next time? If so, what age do you think men become more enlightened?
When we tout all the things that are meaningful traits that would contribute to a lasting, long relationship, are we putting all that above the physical? Obviously we want the both of best worlds: personality and looks, but what is more important?
How many people have you asked out or dated strictly on their looks? If you had prior knowledge someone that you were attracted to is a raging jerk, would that turn you off enough to keep it moving?
Basically, what I want to know is..how superficial are you? If you were to rate your superficial number based on 1 to 10 scale, with 10 being SHALLOW HAL.
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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261 comments Add your comment
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
3:58 pm
I volunteered the other week and there was nonblack chick there, 75 percent gray and an absolutely beautiful young looking face. A dude outright asked her how old she was and she said it proudly 45. She talked about her hair that both she and her sister were nearly gray, that she wasn’t dying and like it better with length. Said she tried it short and that didn’t bode well. She was a really nice looking girl. Small framed too.
Bluzgirl
December 4th, 2012
3:58 pm
Jake – I feel like I’m too young to have grays!
My grandmother was totally white haired by the time she was about 38. That scares me. I’ve actually been coloring my hair since I was about 14 years old. When I was younger, it wasn’t too many natural colors. For the past 10 years or so, I’ve stuck to normal colors mainly for my job!
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
3:59 pm
43 not 45
Leggs
December 4th, 2012
3:59 pm
I’m loving how I’m aging and even if you color your hair, dem gray strands have a mind of their own (lol).
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
4:00 pm
No one EVER believes my age. My mama was like that. She didn’t start looking aged until she was well past 70. And by that I mean, she always looked about 10 years younger than what she was.
Dani
December 4th, 2012
4:02 pm
Good afternoon
Disco- I color my own hair. I mix honey blonde and lightest blonde together to create my own shade.
Bluzgirl
December 4th, 2012
4:09 pm
After I hit 40, I’ll probably let my grays show and see what happens.
kimmie
December 4th, 2012
4:10 pm
Celisea – I went to kindergarten/1st grade with a girl that gray prematurely. I ran into her near our senior year in high school and she was salt & pepper. I saw her again around age 30 and her hair was almost snow white. She has absolutely beautiful hair whatever color it is though, looks satiny/silky. And her skin is a pretty olive brown. She’s a stunner.
Exiled!
December 4th, 2012
4:12 pm
After I hit 40, I’ll probably let my grays show and see what happens
@Bluz
…it wld be nice if u are a lil bit more explicit with the grays’ location
u think the youngie will be spooked if its gey there….when and if he happens to get a peep ofcourse..unless if bald is your look….
IJS
Leggs
December 4th, 2012
4:13 pm
I have a co-worker in her mid 60’s who prematurely grayed in her late 30’s. Her hair is absolutely beautiful. Never been permed, fabulous hair line and silky smooth looking. She’s trained her hair well over the decades.
SlimNu: Life always happens
December 4th, 2012
4:14 pm
All the folks in my family on my mom’s side grayed early. My mom and all her sisters are fully gray with the exception of one who chooses to dye her hair. I actually have a lot of grays now and i have no issue with them as far as trying to dye my hair. My mom always gets compliments on her hair.
Leggs – You ain’t neva lied when it comes to the grays having a mind of their own. When I was getting my hair done at the salon, the beautician would always have trouble with a few unruly ones doing their own thing. They also are thicker and grow much faster than my other hair.
disco
December 4th, 2012
4:14 pm
dani – I dare not color my own hair. the main reason though is not fear of messing up my hair but fear of being impatient and messing around and getting dye on my floor or countertops or something.
Exiled!
December 4th, 2012
4:15 pm
Is Amanada reading the news at 10 these days…after that DUI….anyone.??.havent done fox 5 lately
Bluzgirl
December 4th, 2012
4:16 pm
Ex – I shouldn’t even answer you, but I will. I’m talking about the hair on top of my head. The Youngster won’t get a chance to see down below anyways. Not feeling him that way anymore.
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
4:16 pm
Kimmie – That’s strange isn’t it how folks gray prematurely. My kid’s dad was graying at 21 and his mom 50% gray in her 40ties. Also, my mom was about 50% in her 50ties. I wonder if my kid will gray early.
disco
December 4th, 2012
4:16 pm
btw – I don’t necessarily dye my hair to cover gray. I initially dyed for the first time about 3 years ago to jazz up the natural hair. sometimes when my styles are very plain or boring the color is the extra kick I need. even just the plain puff seems a little sassier with a touch of color.
Leggs
December 4th, 2012
4:20 pm
I’m just starting to gray, but my mother doesn’t have any gray.
Jake-SPJTWB
December 4th, 2012
4:20 pm
Ex-No sir, I don’t have a son, but I played a lil ball in my day. If he really likes BBall I would say go ahead and get it. If he is so-so on the game I would wait. Here’s why, the basics of the game of basketball takes coordination of your motor skills at a higher level than most sports. Most kids will not really be able to “play” until about 10. If you do decide to get him a goal, put it at the regulation height of 10 feet, you want his form to develop shooting at regulation, that way as he gets older, his shot will be “pure”.
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
4:24 pm
Y’all catch this….I’m on a call currently with my manager and she asked me why I’m at work…
I’M SUPPOSE TO BE ON VACATION THIS WEEK AND I TOTALLY FORGOT!!! Seriously!!!
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
December 4th, 2012
4:24 pm
Mission accomplished…
Dani
December 4th, 2012
4:25 pm
Disco- I am frugal not so much brave. I spend about $10 to color my hair. Stylists are always shocked that I do it myself and that it comes in a box.
kimmie
December 4th, 2012
4:26 pm
I used to get highlights every summer and got alot of compliments. But it’s hard to highlight AND cover gray. My stylist managed to do it for my wedding, but it was not easy.
Jake-SPJTWB
December 4th, 2012
4:26 pm
Bluz-my grey started coming in a few years back, (36 now) just on the chin in my Goatee, them boys out of control now….I just let’em hang, but the rest of the beard is still black, I kinda dig the contrast.
Leggs
December 4th, 2012
4:29 pm
The contrast is very appealing, Jake! Women like that look.
Willie Dynamite
December 4th, 2012
4:30 pm
Jake – same here, my goatee is salt and pepper. My pops and grandad were both grey by 40 so no use in me tripping about it. Wifey likes it so I’m good.
For Real
December 4th, 2012
4:30 pm
What blog fam!! Lets see what the happs are:
GAY!!! Dayum I didn’t know that it was that many gay people of the blog.
Wait a minute….. GREYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
For Real now digging into his draw of eye glasses like Fred Samford.
disco
December 4th, 2012
4:32 pm
dani – now on the frugal tip I feel you. my stylist charges $55 for color. it’s a long way from what I was paying her in my relaxed days though so I don’t sweat it. plus I only get color done about every 9 months or so. I know that’s a big gap but – I know it sounds tacky – I happen to like the way my hair looks once the new growth kicks in. lol.
Bluzgirl
December 4th, 2012
4:34 pm
Jake and Willie – Gray makes men look more distinguished. It can make women look older (not all women). At 33, I’m just not ready to go au natural…
Leggs
December 4th, 2012
4:35 pm
Frugal. I still get a perm out the box $5.99, then go to the salon for a style and cut. I can’t see myself paying for a $45-$55 perm at a salon…no can do!
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
4:36 pm
$80 perm
Exiled!
December 4th, 2012
4:37 pm
@Bluz..all good.at least i know
@Jake…apreciate that…the man seems to have more interest than in the other sports we have tried…golf,tennis,football..and his height is good,so.ima make a last minute decison including ur input…
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
4:37 pm
and I pay $45 for wash
Leggs
December 4th, 2012
4:38 pm
I was trying to be reasonable, Celisea since I really don’t know what the standing price is now. That’s entirely too much. Get a perm, cut and style and I’m cutting away half my permed hair. Doesn’t make sense to me.
Bluzgirl
December 4th, 2012
4:39 pm
I pay about $8-9 on hair color and the guy who cuts my hair only charges $14! Since I was letting my hair grow out, I went at least 6 months without a trim. Even when he chopped off my long hair, he still only charged me $14 and did a great job!
i'm swiss
December 4th, 2012
4:39 pm
I’ve got a good bit of grey, but because of the color of the rest of my hair, it’s pretty well camouflaged. Except in the stubble — it sticks out like a flashing light there…
Leggs
December 4th, 2012
4:39 pm
Celisea ~ you have a lot of hair. My peanut head doesn’t hold a lot of hair.
Dani
December 4th, 2012
4:39 pm
disco- i like the new growth look also only retouch every 2-3 months. I usually were my hair in curls/afro depends on the day. I did get it flat ironed for my bday. I was shocked at how light it is.
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
4:40 pm
Leggs I hear ya…lol Actually I’ve been wearing it shorter since you last saw me… I like it
Exiled!
December 4th, 2012
4:42 pm
and u ladies spend a lot of money on that hair..$45 + every two weeks..and then u need a shoe rack or two to urself….and ur clothes cost more….then for some..u need finger nail game too…
Man!
(i on care for those long_I cant_cook_fangas, tho)
Willie Dynamite
December 4th, 2012
4:42 pm
Dayum Markina Brown can get it.
Dani
December 4th, 2012
4:43 pm
leggs-that’s the main reason i went natural the prices are expensive.
Exiled!
December 4th, 2012
4:45 pm
Swiss…one of my ex work mates jus told me today that his son was in surgery last nite..he lost one of his balls…referenced some rare disease,not cancer…
I was re-assuring the guy that I got a friend(Swissie) who got one and..going by u…. his son should be aaaaaaight…..
i'm swiss
December 4th, 2012
4:47 pm
Me.lo — Ballz are like any other good teammates. When one goes down, the other steps up his game.
Jake-SPJTWB
December 4th, 2012
4:50 pm
Leggs..so I am beginning to see
Willie…yeah man, I decided I just wouldn’t color, now when my stache turn, I might have to do it.
Ex-no problem…if he is really into it, get him into an organized group to get the fundamentals: plant left foot, shoot right hand..plant right, shoot left…defend the stomach, where it goes, the man goes, etc….
Bluzgirl
December 4th, 2012
4:50 pm
The boss left early, so I am too. I’m out ya’ll!
Jake-SPJTWB
December 4th, 2012
4:55 pm
Bout to roll…but I gotta say this:
Yes Willie, Markina Brown can get IT, she got a fat Azz, and be walking back and forth the weather map flaunting it…me likes her lot
Leggs
December 4th, 2012
5:00 pm
Ex ~ hope you told your friend that his son has to have a positive attitude while walking around with one ball. Apparently, it’s not the end of the world, but it can be if he makes it that way. Attitude is 90% !
Leggs
December 4th, 2012
5:00 pm
Haa haa haaa, guess that would have come across better coming from swiss (lol).
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
5:02 pm
Okay…I’m outta here folks…I’m on the phone with a coworker that’s been talking the last half hour…..
Toodles…I’m out of here til next week
I might peek in tomorrow
Celisea
December 4th, 2012
5:02 pm
If I can get her to hang up…