Is partying keeping you single?
I can remember having a big ugly fight with a guy I was dating because he thought I just “ran the streets too much.” No, seriously. He constantly called it that and it drove me nuts. It’s not like I was popping bottles in the club or anything! I was volunteering, singing in a chorus, juggling day job and my part-time work. I was, well BUSY.
I had no problem making time for him but I had no interest in sitting at home ALL the time. His constant criticism about me being on the go really made it clear how we were not a match.
I always ask my guy friends to cut their dates some slack when it comes to this. Just because a single woman is out on the town, traveling around, and enjoying her carefree life, doesn’t mean she can’t make room for him. A lot of my male friends want to “see” that a woman can come home, cook, and be all domesticated. To them, this is the sign of a mature woman ready to be a wife (I’m not kidding, I have heard this repeatedly.)
Is that really necessary, though? I’d argue that it is not important, but perhaps I’m missing something? Ladies, do men ever tell you that you go out too much?
Guys, do you meet a lot of women who party too much? Do you think it is a sign of immaturity? Do you like to see a women demonstrate her “settled down” side?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
.
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
214 comments Add your comment
Jenna
November 30th, 2012
6:01 am
I used to be a feminist when I was a teenager. I then matured and learned that men are more attracted to women who make them a priority. That doesn’t mean being at his beck and call or taking abuse or constant criticism – it means that home-life is the priority. And this makes sense, because to be a good mother it is imperative that the woman does become a “home body” in some respects. Some women can’t “calm down” or “settle down” and they feel that they must constantly be busy. I’m sure there is a match out there for those types of women, but that behavior can also scream to most men that there is something wrong with her (because in her words she has to be busy or she’ll “go crazy”). Usually, this type of behavior denotes some type of mental issue or unresolved issue from the woman’s childhood.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
6:56 am
Hello all
For me you have to show some balance in your life, if you have to MAKE time for me, then you’re not the one for me.
If a man is looking for a settled down woman, then he needs to be a settled down man. Stop trying to change people into what you want them to be, and seek those that are already what you want them to be.
Cherry Blossom
November 30th, 2012
7:02 am
Hello, all
Nothing wrong with a busy woman. It’s better than being a bore! I’m not quite sure I see eye to eye on the concept of making my man a priority. I saw we settle with making one another each other’s priority individually.
lee
November 30th, 2012
7:20 am
No man or woman wants their partner in the streets parting, i think that shows you are still looking… And why do you feel you need to drink every weekend, that is a big red flag no matter what sex you are. I don’t date anyone who “parties” or drinks every weekend, too much drama for me.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Cherry Blossom
November 30th, 2012
7:28 am
Howdy lee,
I like what you said. I’m definitely not a person that parties. I like doing and sometimes planning things for SO and I to do together. I don’t see much value in being a couple but spending lots of time apart. I like, as a couple, keeping busy. And sometimes, I like as a couple, downtime together.
Southern Belle
November 30th, 2012
7:49 am
@S&H – Agreed, a ready woman needs a ready man.
Robert
November 30th, 2012
8:27 am
@Wise Diva – “Just because a single woman is out on the town, traveling around, and enjoying her carefree life, doesn’t mean she can’t make room for him.”
If a Man said exactly what you said he would be labeled a “Player”. He never will have a chance at a serious relationship.
disco
November 30th, 2012
8:44 am
good morning y’all. re a man telling me I go out to much, well, I simply “wish a ninja” would. single or not I’m grown and I’m going to do me. if he doesn’t like something he’s free to express that but he better not be stepping to me like my daddy. that won’t go over very well at all. I’d have to take it to Friday and tell him “don’t worry about what I be doing”.
s/h – I’m feeling you on that “make” time thing. either you have it or you don’t but don’t go trying to “squeeze” me in.
oh and being busy or “running the streets” doesn’t necessarily have to disrupt the home life. sometimes I’m go-go-go but my house is always clean (at least neat, at worst a bit untidy where I need to dust but it’s never nasty). maintaining a home isn’t really that complicated especially when you are single and there are no kids at home. heck, I don’t even use half the rooms in my house so they are always clean.
Button
November 30th, 2012
8:50 am
Good morning……….To them, this is the sign of a mature woman ready to be a wife……. Is that really necessary, though? Ummm yeah! funny thing is most women don’t see it this way but actully that’s how most men garner whether she is wife material or not. A mature responsible man will not wife a lady of the streets, it just aint happening.
Ladies, do men ever tell you that you go out too much? Yes, back when I was single and mingling, I had guys tell me all the time that I frequent the streets a bit too much for their taste. I admit I was bar hopping, doing happy hours after hours and always on the go, doing international traveling and such but that was because I was enjoying my me time and wasn’t ready to give it up yet.
Button
November 30th, 2012
8:52 am
You cannot want to be a wife with a single woman mentality. Society have dumb down what the role of a wife is. Sad.
Button
November 30th, 2012
8:58 am
well said Jenna.
disco
November 30th, 2012
9:01 am
ooh wee button. I think you may have opened a can of worms. you know I have to go into what is the single woman mentality? of course, I know it’s relative and won’t apply to every single woman but I think it can make for interesting discussion. also, and I know we’ve talked roles to death but what is the “dumbed down” role of the wife?
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
9:06 am
Ladies, do men ever tell you that you go out too much? – LOLOL, I’m just the opposite!
Jenna ~ I like your post.
Single ~ yes sir, seek your own level! If you want someone who’s settled, please be “settled” your dayum self.
Button
November 30th, 2012
9:09 am
disco as you’ve stated “we’ve talked roles to death”
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
9:24 am
I’ve NEVER been one to bar hop or run the streets. Even when I was younger and had a group of girls, many times I took a pass. I may have hooked up with them a couple times a month or if someone was having a shingdig at their house, yeah. Running the streets was never my thing. I like doing things and going out, however there’s a fine line with what’s too much versus being active. When I’m not seeing someone, I don’t really do too much. I have a couple of guy/gal friends where we’ll meet up for dinner…..throw back a couple of brewskies and break bread, and catch up. It’s funny with me, only when I’m seeing someone am I out and about a good bit. Too, for me, being grown or an adult means excercising the ability to part from adolescent ways of “having to run with folks”….of course that’s just IMO. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking other people but by the time I work…and work all day, tend to my kid/home, I don’t have much time to just hang out. Like I said, when I’m “booed up”, I’m guilty of making plenty of schedule adjusting so that we can make and spend time together.
Button
November 30th, 2012
9:25 am
“my girl wants to party all the time party all the time” I can’t get this tune outta my head lol
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
9:28 am
Button you’re not getting off that easy, you opened the can of worms, I need to know if I’m getting the right woman (LOL)
MsML5
November 30th, 2012
9:28 am
In my younger days, I did hit the clubs and party a lot because I was single and not yet ready to settle down. I don’t do the club scene anymore but as a single woman I do travel and enjoy life…because I can. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
MsAtl
November 30th, 2012
9:28 am
Morning All!
Diva, you said working, volunteering, and singing in a chorus. I do not consider that partying.
For years my family was my priority. I stayed home until my children were a certain age, then went to work and college. At times, I postponed completing college then went back to school and made do with little sleep because I took care of my ex, the kids and the house.
Simply put, my family was my priority.
At this point in my life, if I am in a relationship I do not feel it necessary to be home 24/7 and I will not give up doing things that I like just to be accessible at all times. Most importantly, I will not make someone a priority if I am not also a priority to them.
MsML5
November 30th, 2012
9:29 am
@MsATL….well said!!!
disco
November 30th, 2012
9:30 am
button – I know but I really don’t understand what the “single woman” mentality is. I could guess that it’s either “I’m all that and you should want me just as I am” or it’s “I want a man so bad that I’ll do and be anything he wants”. idk. also, I know we’ve gone over gender roles and spouse roles but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything about the role of the “dumbed down” wife. that’s an interesting concept to me. I know chicks that dumb down while dating but is the dumbed down wife just an extension of them.
btw – button. pardon me for my “silly” questioning of this. it’s 9:30 but I’m predicting another very long day. (shut up S/H)
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
9:30 am
Too, “going out” would need to be defined. Me and my hon frequent places for adults or people coupled. IMO, bars and clubs are places where people are out looking. So, we go out but to laid back more serene type places.
Bluzgirl
November 30th, 2012
9:30 am
Good morning all! I know you missed me while I was on vacation! LOL!
I can say that I’m always on the go…not really with the partying, but I do have a full and part time job, I volunteer, I do enjoy going out to see live music, I like to travel whenever I can. If I’m into a guy enough, I will alter some of my plans to spend time with him. My ideal guy will enjoy going to the venues that I like to go to for music, so we would probably go together. For the right guy, I would settle down on some of the going out and spend a lot of time with him.
Button
November 30th, 2012
9:31 am
Single if you don’t know I can’t help you, I’m already taken LOL
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
9:33 am
On Point, MrsAtl!
Button
November 30th, 2012
9:35 am
disco single woman mentality is self explanatory.hence the word “single”
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
9:37 am
MsAtl, for me if a woman doesn’t have any balance in her life that she’s got to make time for me, I don’t care if she’s partying, volunteering, singing in a chorus. at church, or working. she’s not the one for me, and I’m not talking being all up under me all the time, I’m talking the few minutes in the day or week type of thing. Because if you were busy when I meet you, I don’t expect it to change because we’re together.
MsAtl
November 30th, 2012
9:38 am
Hey Bluz! Welcome back. Hope you enjoyed your birthday.
Ms.ML5, Leggs- thanks. Having been a wife and mother since the age of 18, I pretty much missed my entire young adult & partying years. Now, while I am enjoying life, I am not clubbing. I went to a club with friends a few months ago and I tell you that experience was enough to let me know it is not something I would want to do on a regular basis. I do enjoy music however, so I think I will check out Vanquish (I think that was the name) and more “adult” venues where a woman can go to enjoy music and mingling without being seen as on the prowl.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
9:38 am
Is single mentality, that you are just about doing you, damn everyone else?
disco
November 30th, 2012
9:39 am
button – who before me said you weren’t getting off that easy? was it s/h? lol. bad answer. so what about single women who think/act like married women? there have to be some since I know plenty of married women who think/act like single women. I’m just asking what the characteristics of the mentality are. anyone else want to answer since button’s a bit evasive this a.m.?
MsAtl
November 30th, 2012
9:42 am
Single- I don’t think you should have to make time for someone in your life. That sounds too much like “penciling them in.” The only person I have had to make time for was myself because I was too busy spending it on other people. I think balance is necessary.
Button
November 30th, 2012
9:43 am
Single if someone is willing to MAKE time for you then you must be worth it.
We make time or what’s important.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
9:45 am
I don’t mind going out with a few friends dancing every so often. But to hang out at a club every weekend is for those starting out in life (lol) enjoying the club scene. Been there, done that.
MsAtl
November 30th, 2012
9:46 am
Related question- What are your (bloggies) thoughts on whether it is inappropriate for a woman who is in a relationship to spend a night away from home? For instance, celebrating with a group of girlfriends at a hotel or at one of their homes? This is a conversation I have had more than once and am curious to know your thoughts.
Robert- don’t be too harsh.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
9:48 am
Button, I don’t “make time” for anything I want to do, I know how to balance my life so that I can get almost every thing in. So I look for the same. She doesn’t have to be exactly the same, but if all I’m hearing is “I’m so busy” “I thought about calling you” “I was going to stop by” you are not the one for me.
Button
November 30th, 2012
9:48 am
dico I’m not evading answering your quesiton. I was stating my opinion of what I see with my over 30 single never been married girlfriends who desire to be a wife but admit time and time again that when/if they do get married they will not do this or do that and he can’t or aint gonna tell me what to do, blah blah blah…that right there is having a single mentality since being married it’s just not you anymore you have to consider your husband in your everyday dealings.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
9:51 am
MsAtl, please clarify what you mean by relationship, because unless you’re my wife, we’re not living together, so spending a night with your girlfriends wouldn’t be a problem. and even as my wife, I wouldn’t have a problem with it.
Button
November 30th, 2012
9:51 am
I don’t “make time” for anything I want to do – So how do you do it Single, maybe I’m missing something. It is Friday and I’m not juiced up yet. so please splain this to me
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
9:52 am
“…single women who think/act like married women? there have to be some since I know plenty of married women who think/act like single women” – reminds me of something I told my cousins when I visited them in Houston. Both women are married with lots of children between the two of them. My weekend with them was an eye opener. Everyone was getting high, neglecting the children, drinking way too much. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was single, living a carefree life, but wasn’t dating at the time so I pretty much dated myself. These chicks were up waiting for the sun to come up yelling at the kids to go get a bowl of cereal. When I saw one of their friends shooting up in the corner, I immediately called and changed my ticket to get out of dodge the next morning.
disco
November 30th, 2012
9:56 am
button – that last post actually got around to answering the question. thanks. just wondered where you were going with it or what you meant by it. I actually get what you are saying and I agree to a point. reality is, though, that even though people in relationships tend to have to compromise more than single people even married people will tell you that there are some things they just plain aren’t going to do and their spouse can kick rocks about it. just last night on my drive home the radio call in question was “what will you absolutely not allow your spouse to do”.
re the side, side topic – I wouldn’t mind an overnight getaway. folks need breaks from each other. now, don’t come asking me if you can spend the night with your “other girlfriend” or nothing crazy like that.
Button
November 30th, 2012
9:57 am
Mrs Atl if you’re single there shouldn’t be a problem with you spending the night away from home for any reason.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
10:00 am
MrsAtl ~ if there are children involved, what are the ages? Knowing me, I wouldn’t spend the night out on a ladies’ night on the town, but again, that was one of my problems I’ve been told. I was a hands on parent, there all the time! My choice, no regrets.
MsAtl
November 30th, 2012
10:01 am
Single- In a committed relationship, living together.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:04 am
Button making time for means looking at your schedule and seeing if I can fit you in during the allotted time. balance is doing it within the time you have. there’s always free time, you just have to know how to work it, everything doesn’t have to be planned, everything doesn’t have to be a long date, it could be as simple as a 2 minute hug and kiss.
Button
November 30th, 2012
10:07 am
Mrs Atl – that changes the dynamics if you’re living together. If he agrees then there shouldn’t be a problem.
If there are kids involved and as long as the kids are safe and provided for while you’re away then there shouldn’t be a problem. Parents go on vacation without their kids all the time. Spouses go on separate vacations all the time.
Button
November 30th, 2012
10:08 am
I get what you’re saying Single but you have to make time for everything in life. Time to eat, sleep, pray, etc etc etc, it doesn’t change just because you’re dating.
Bluzgirl
November 30th, 2012
10:10 am
Thanks MsAtl…I had a great time off, but it’s been hard to get back in the swing of things!
As far as spending the night away, there shouldn’t be a problem with that. Isn’t it better that you stay somewhere if you’re going to be drinking rather than risk driving home?
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:12 am
MsAtl, it’s all about trust, so why not.
MsAtl
November 30th, 2012
10:12 am
Leggs- I feel you. I went away with a girlfriend once in 30 years (for a 3-day trip). When I returned, me children seemed rather traumatized by me leavign because I was always there for them. 16 years later, my son still talks about the time I “abandoned” them. wth? Didn’t matter that their dad would be gone for months at a time because he was in the military. That was my first and last time being away from them until they grew up.
One girlfriend is married and has 3 children, ages 5, 12 and 15. The rest are either married with no minor children or no children. Another has teenagers.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
10:13 am
Bluz ~ that’s a different reason for spending the night out. That example makes it worse to stay out.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:15 am
Okay button
disco
November 30th, 2012
10:16 am
ms atl – I have a friend who was a stay at home mom and did (in my opinion) way too much for her daggone kids. they are now all grown and still overly dependent on her. her son is locked up but both daughters call her for every single little thing. for the most part she always does everything they ask and every now and again she’ll put her big shoes on and tell them no. it never lasts long though. she’s right back to catering to their every whim. I tease her all the time about her “worthless A” kids.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:19 am
Button “if he agrees” so if your S/O disagrees with something you want to do, then you shouldn’t do it?
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
10:19 am
You guys must be very close friends, disco!
Button
November 30th, 2012
10:19 am
disco I think they’re called hover mothers, or something like that.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:21 am
Disco, I know some like that, mothers and fathers, and both worked, Their response is “what are you supposed to do”
Button
November 30th, 2012
10:21 am
Single if you’re playing the role then you have to play the role. yes I said if he agrees just like there will be time she won’t agree. Get it?
disco
November 30th, 2012
10:22 am
button – it’s helicopter moms.
leggs – we actually met through our kids. her son and my son went to elementary school together. her son got locked up in high school and for the most part has been locked up ever since. her daughters are simply co-dependent. want to be grown but want mommy to solve every situation they find themselves in. yeah we’re close enough for me to talk about her sorry azz kids. lol.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:24 am
Button, using your term, “playing the roll” why do you see it like that,
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:25 am
it’s both, hoover and helicopter
Bluzgirl
November 30th, 2012
10:26 am
Leggs – true. I guess it also depends on where the outing is. If it’s over an hour away, you may not want to drive home late even while sober. I’m single so there is no problem for me, but if I’m coupled up and there’s a girls night far away from home, I’ll probably stay just so I don’t have to drive far late at night. Being really tired is just as bad as being tipsy
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
10:27 am
disco ~ out of the 4 schools Lil Leggs applied to, she got accepted to 3. One was Georgia State. She wanted to go, but couldn’t decide on that school or Georgia Southern. I wanted her to go away just so she wouldn’t have that added cushion of calling me up asking me to bring something to her on my way to work, or drop something off to her over the weekend. I knew being that close would more than likely hamper her and not help her. The time has come for her to rely on herself and her decision making abilities. Still, she’s been home 4x since August.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:30 am
Leggs, I feel the same way, let those kids get out and find out what’s it’s like to be on there on.
Bluzgirl
November 30th, 2012
10:31 am
Speaking of being a little too close to your kids…the receptionist here talks to her daughter at least 5 times a day and they live together. Her daughter is 28. Now…my mom and I talk pretty much every day, but it’s at night. Only time she calls me at work is in an emergency. I see no reason to have to talk that many times a day, every day…
disco
November 30th, 2012
10:34 am
s/h – is it both? I had heard that helicopter moms were called that because they tended to hover but I never heard hover. guess it doesn’t matter. I never hovered. who really has time for that? some parents need to get a life. I know one chick that had it so bad that she was so deep in planning her son’s wedding that I said I wouldn’t be surprised if she showed up on the honeymoon to teach the new bride how to suck her son’s thang.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:38 am
Disco, my nephew graduates from college, next month, and my sister sent out the invitations. They wouldn’t have gotten out if it was me. (LOL)
How you going to plan your sons wedding?? Are there any bloggers who would marry a man like that?
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
10:41 am
Forget about the man, what about the woman he’s marrying that’s allowing this to happen. If she doesn’t have any input into her own wedding, then she’s already bowing down to her MIL. Many more problems to arise in that marriage.
Bluzgirl
November 30th, 2012
10:43 am
When I was engaged and planning a wedding a long time ago, my fiance’s mom and sister got waaaaayyyyy too into the planning. I had to put my foot down on a couple of things. I was like…this is my wedding and I want things my way…
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:46 am
Bluz putting her foot down (roflmao)
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:46 am
oh and happy belated birthday bluz
Button
November 30th, 2012
10:49 am
Single I’m leaning more to what you said it’s called – helicopter mom. I’m def not one, well if my kids tell it I’m one to the baby girl. She’s 15 and I still make her call me when she’s at the bus stop and when she get off the bus and when she walk thru the door. When she went down south for the summer I bought two video camera phones so we can video chat while she was a way. Since then it’s come in handy while either of us are out. I know I got it bad, but she’s my baby.
disco
November 30th, 2012
10:53 am
S/H – my son designed, ordered and paid for his own college announcements. he also provided me with stamps but I took on the task of mailing them out. he figured the announcements were more for “old people” anyway. his words, not mine.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:54 am
Button, disco, I’ve seen them call both for the reasons disco described,
Yea button if you doing all that for your baby girl, you’re one
Bluzgirl
November 30th, 2012
10:55 am
Thanks S/H….and by the way…I can put my foot down!!!
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
10:55 am
disco, please tell me you didn’t address them, I had to do mine from high school, didn’t attend my college grad.
disco
November 30th, 2012
10:59 am
S/H – I did address them but I had mailing labels saved already. I did his high school announcements and some family reunion mailings in years past so addressing them was easy.
disco
November 30th, 2012
11:00 am
oh. and by the way, his college announcement had his photo on it so, unlike when his high school announcements went out, no one had to call around and try to figure out who he was. lol.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
11:03 am
I did my child’s h.s. announcements as well, along with her picture. Most family members up North had no idea what she looked like as a teenager. One of her cousins asked his mom if he could date her. He’s 15 and clueless.
disco
November 30th, 2012
11:08 am
leggs – now that you mention I did send prom photos out with the h.s. announcements. I did not pay for senior pictures. school pictures are a hella rip off. I took pics of my son outside of his (first) college graduation and he made his own announcements and had them printed at costco. lol.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
11:10 am
Had mailing labels, that makes it worse, (LOL) my sister wrote all of his. (LOL)
Bluzgirl
November 30th, 2012
11:10 am
This is totally off topic, but need to share. I found out yesterday that an acquantance of mine (an incredible local bass player) shot and killed a man over the weekend and was arrested for felony murder. I’ve never known someone who killed another person. He was such a sweetheart, but apparently snapped…craziness
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
11:14 am
We all have the ability to kill embedded in us. Even the meekest of meek can kill when provoked.
disco
November 30th, 2012
11:16 am
S/H – are mailing labels really worse? I can see how handwritten is a personal touch and all but labels, along with being easier and faster are just plain neater. anytime I handwrite anything on an envelope I cover it with scotch tape. lol.
bluz – I know I’ve known many that have killed and many that have been killed but now I’m trying to think back on the first person that I knew that killed someone. how old was i? I’m not sure. I remember the first person that I knew up close and personal that was murdered was when I was in 6th grade. as for my “first killer”. I’m not sure but by high school it was almost old news. that’s really a shame.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
11:16 am
I didn’t pay for senior pics either. Astronomical. I took my own. I did buy graduation photo (one pose though).
Bluzgirl
November 30th, 2012
11:18 am
I guess. He’s always been seen as such a nice person, but everyone has a dark side. I guess he couldn’t control his. He was drunk and got into a fight with this guy and shot him in the face. Just a tragic story. He did it in the home he shared with his ex wife, but was in the process of moving out. What a shame…he’ll be facing life in prison for sure.
disco
November 30th, 2012
11:21 am
hmmm. sounds like his attorney might have a few things to work with. he was intoxicated and he was in his own home. there might be just enough extenuating circumstances to help dude out. (of course, I don’t know the circumstances just saying there could be some that would make me as a juror say hmmm).
Jake-SPJTWB
November 30th, 2012
11:27 am
what up folks
Bluzgirl
November 30th, 2012
11:34 am
disco – I’m wondering how they are going to play this. All I know so far is that he was in the process of moving out and having a really hard time dealing with the ex wife moving on. She allowed him to continue living there because they were friends still and she was trying to help him. I don’t know if he has mental issues or not. In the article, they called this a domestic dispute. She had mentioned to a friend that a younger man was pursuing her, so I wondered if the man he killed was her new guy. But…I saw on her FB last night that while she was going out of town, she was leaving the house in the hands of both of the guys. So…I wonder if they were friends who had a major argument and things got out of hand. It just blows my mind…
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
11:34 am
What’s up & Happy Friday Gang!
On topic – Wise’s simply living her life, not my definition of “running the streets”. If a person was truly partying and clubbing and drinking every weekend and sometimes during the week, I can see that being a turnoff to either gender if they are looking to settle down. Usually, that type of living runs it’s course and gets old or either YOU get too old for it. I did it a little while right after college. I had my fun, but I began to get busy in other ways. Work & career, comnunity participation, family & friends, church, hobbies – all enough to take up my time. Yes, when I got in a relationship, then I got it in where I could fit it in. I had a life and expected any man I met to have one too. Folks do make time for what they want, so those that wanted me fit me into their schedules and I did the same for them. No biggie. Never auditioned for the wife role though.
Single – Never could stand mama’s boys.
MsAtl
November 30th, 2012
11:39 am
Single- I agree, it should be about trust. The feeling was that it is inappropriate. I have also been told that if I am not remarried by a certain time, my married friend of many years would not be allowed to hang out with me because it is not okay for a married woman to hang out with single women. Umm, yeah, me & that man had a conversation. I told him that if I was decent enough for him when I was married, then I should be decent enough now. I am the same person. Needless to say, we still hang out and he is okay with it (putting the knife away, lol)
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
11:45 am
Disco, yea it’s worse, all he had to do was put the labels on, you could have sent them to him. (LOL)
disco
November 30th, 2012
11:50 am
S/H – I see your point but I’m going to let my offspring have that one. primarily because, in my opinion, not everyone on the mailing list is worthy of an announcement. my son wouldn’t be as discriminating as me in determining who gets one and who doesn’t. he would just send one to every single person on the list. bump that. believe it or not, I did hear some folks grumbling and complaining about “how come I didn’t get one”. later for them is my thought on it not to mention the know exactly why I didn’t send them one. I don’t eff with them like that. lol.
hey kimmie!!!!
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
11:52 am
MsAtl ~ I had a male friend whose wife had no problem with me until I became single. I was no longer invited to any of their gatherings that their home or out to dinner with them. Mind you that when I was married, I went to some of their events sans my husband who didn’t want to socialize with anyone.
disco
November 30th, 2012
11:53 am
s/h – you reminded me of why I am/was the baby momma from hell. I didn’t even send my son’s father an announcement. he knows me and he knows I’d tell him “I buy my announcements, you buy yours”. lol.
leggs – a lot of folks act like single chicks are the anti-christ. like our singleness might rub off and bring bad mojo. lol.
Jake-SPJTWB
November 30th, 2012
11:54 am
So I guess we are solid on the consensus that if a woman has to “Make Time” for a man, then this lady likely will not make it to the alter. At the point where you wish to be a man’s wife, you have to be prepared to be “in place” for the most part. Yes you can hang out with your girls sometimes, you can volunteer sometimes, you can vacy with your girls sometimes,….but you have to be a wife full-time, no matter where you are…so feed me before you go to Hosea’s. (I know, we should do that together, right ladies…hehehe)
MsAtl
November 30th, 2012
11:59 am
Leggs- Same here. I went to their home alone on numerous occasions because my ex was sort of antisocial. I am still invited to their home, but she doesn’t visit me often.
Disco- Talk about stigmas.
Jake- yes, you should be going to Hosea’s too, lol.
Mo (aka Moeisha)
November 30th, 2012
12:01 pm
Heeeey Party People, TGIF!
Hope all is well in Blogsville, just dropping in for a few…..
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:06 pm
I don’t get a person that needs to “make time”, not being a good wife/woman. I have to make time to do everything…such is life…shrugs Make time for working, make time for making or picking up dinner, make time to have my car cleaned, make time to have my hair done, make time to take a bath, make time to rest….so forth and so on….. Just seems weird if a person has a problem with people that “make time.” IMO, that seems to just be a way of life.
Off topic: My coworker, the potato chip gal must be REAAAALLY putting it on her hubby. She’s a newly wed. She gets flowers at least a couple of times a month. They’ve done a bunch of international travels and I think they’ve only been married now, a year…or so. Some of that traveling was pre-wedding but IJS. She’s a baaaad girl….must be!!
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:07 pm
Oh Lawd, my manager done called my coworker on ML and asked her to come back sooner. Ummm, first violation was calling while she’s on leave. The message that’s out now is that she’s skating on thin ice and have had 6 complaints on her in 5 months…ut oh
disco
November 30th, 2012
12:14 pm
re the whole “make time” issue to me it sounds like when you say “make time” it means that you really don’t want to do something, you’d really rather be doing something else but you’ll “make time” for the less than desirable task. naturally I can tell from the posts that’s not how a lot of others see it but that’s how I see it.
celisea – ut oh is right. lol.
Jake-SPJTWB
November 30th, 2012
12:16 pm
Celisea…you know what we mean…if your making time is due to being in the streets, frolicking and around and such….then the lady isn’t ready….same for a man, though there is a certain amount of hanging that a man should be alotted just because.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:18 pm
disco – The person on the “advisory” team for associates’ rights told her by doing that she’s skating on thin ice…then revealed that she’s had 6 complaints against her already. She asked for volunteers to do something while working for home during the holidays and I did it. She called me back and gave me two gold awards and said I can stay at home that week and cash in to get paid….hmmmm Wonder if she’s tryna “get in good”…..lol I’ll take it!!!
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:19 pm
Jake – Yeah, I do. I get it. I agree too that if a chick is always always “on the go” and that’s her lifestyle then she might not be ready. When getting booed up (and I know it’s not the same as marriage), there’s a bunch of happy (for me) sacrifices made. That’s why I said I don’t see the big stretch. For me, I’m happy to do it.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:21 pm
Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not going to morph into something or someone for the sake of keeping, snagging, hanging on. I think the more you like the person, the less “adjusting” becomes a problem. Too, it’s easy for me because it’s easy for him.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
12:24 pm
Happy Holidays Mo!
Jake-SPJTWB
November 30th, 2012
12:27 pm
Hey Mo, what up lady?
disco
November 30th, 2012
12:27 pm
C – I think you hit on a point. back to the single mentality and all that “I’m not going to do this” stuff. what most single folks mean (in my opinion) is “I’m not going to do this for any old okey doke regular run of the mill somebody”. a whole lot changes when that somebody is the right somebody.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
12:28 pm
Disco, same here @ your 12;14, make time, find time = uhhh well I guess I’ll do it
jake, it’s make time period, doesn’t matter if you in the streets, working, or at church.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:31 pm
disco – Exactly. Nothing is hard or too hard with the two people are right. So that stretching a bit is not a bad sign. It’s just what you do when you’re with someone. It can’t be all you and it certainly can’t be all them. So you both step out of your comfy places. Again, that’s when you’re digging one another. Now, if it’s an and arduous then no, y’all ain’t a good fit.
Mo (aka Moeisha)
November 30th, 2012
12:31 pm
Same to you Leggs! Thank you!
Heeey Jake-baby, how are you?
Ironically this topic hits close to home as I just ended a relationship as dude did not feel that spending time with me was a priority. So I relieved him of the stress of trying to ‘fit me in’ and threw up my dueces. I hang out when I want, period. Lunches with friends, occasional gatherings with friends, homecomings and such but for the most part Im chillin and doing my mommy thing.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:32 pm
an “issue” and too arduous…is what I meant
disco
November 30th, 2012
12:35 pm
C – yep. but my comment was mostly toward button and S/H who both at one point commented on chicks popping off at the mouth talking about what they ain’t going to do. they both figured that all that what they ain’t going to do is part of why they are single. lol. I get it but I was just countering with how we left off the rest of the sentence. it’s not that I’m not going to do it, I’m just not going to do it with you or for you. same rules apply to men. that right woman will have him doing all kind of things he swore he’d never do.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
12:35 pm
Disco, if there are things you’re not going to do, then don’t do them, because when you hit that rocky patch in the relationship, those will be the first things that come to mind.
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
12:35 pm
Hey Disco!!
I call “making time” for something or someone just making it/them a part of your life. So as a single person some of the time I would otherwise spend doing something else I spend that time with the person I’m dating. The closer you get, the more you give that time to that person. That person becomes higher and higher up the priority ladder in your life. You can’t expect to be the top priority from day one. I’m not going to miss work so we can go on a date, but I’ll gladly put aside that happy hour with my office buds to meet you for dinner. Not that hard to figure out, to me.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
12:36 pm
Disco that was just button, I was trying to find out what single mentality was.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
12:37 pm
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/woman-bares-botched-butt-implants-horrifying-video-article-1.1210114
Stuff like this leaves me baffled. I like all that is me, all that God gave me, and surgically enhancing anything on my body is something I don’t think I could do.
Jake-SPJTWB
November 30th, 2012
12:37 pm
Hey Sweets, sounds like you doing well…its the Decatur in ya….lol.
S/H-I hear ya, but I don’t get between anybody and their God.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:39 pm
disco – Honestly, I dropped off earlier, all the comments were making my head hurt… I didn’t read their arguments…lol
Mo (aka Moeisha)
November 30th, 2012
12:41 pm
Jake – you know how we do!
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:42 pm
I’ve said before I’m an “ain’t gonna do” chick…to some degree. I think most women though, for the right man will change (not morph) that tune easily. Again, not losing sight of who you are but gravitating towards them and them you….okay that was kinda mushy…lol
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
12:42 pm
Jake and god doesn’t come into our marital bedroom, but we’re not going to make it there if you’re at church all the time.
disco
November 30th, 2012
12:42 pm
s/h – that was just button TODAY. seems like a while back you were tirading about chicks talking about what they weren’t going to do. lol.
oh and trust I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do. I’m just admitting that I may not want to do it with or for guys A-Y but guy Z might be the one that makes me want to do it.
with the holiday season on us, am I the only one that thinks certain grown folks get more of a kick out of pretending santa is real than kids do out of pretending to believe that he’s real?
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
12:43 pm
Jake – S/H-I hear ya, but I don’t get between anybody and their God.
AMEN, brother!!
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
12:44 pm
Disco – To your 12:35 – I agree. There were alot of things I said I would not do for a dude that was my boyfriend that I gladly do for my husband. They didn’t put a ring on it so they didn’t have it like that. I doubt very seriously if any of the things I popped off to my girlfriends about I wouldn’t do would have turned any dudes off. If so, I was not the one for them. I got the bases covered on what I WILL do, and if that’s not enough then tough!
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
12:45 pm
Disco, my comments on that was about what they’re not going to do until they’re married, not that’s why they’re still single.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
12:47 pm
Kimmie, you may be different, you’re telling me what you’re not going to do before I even ask, then I know when we get married you may do it for a little while, but it won’t last long.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
12:53 pm
Kimmie that was suppose to be But if you’re telling me
Also, when I say the church, I’m speaking for me. there was this woman interested in dating me, and I was interested in dating her, but seems every time we had something planed something came up with the church and she had to cancel, so are you guys telling me that since it was the church I was suppose to be okay with it??
MsAtl
November 30th, 2012
1:06 pm
Single- no, not necessarily. Have you ever heard the expression “married to the church?” If you had something planned, then sometimes the church would have to be told sorry…
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
1:07 pm
And really, when it comes intimate issues (physical, money, etc), I tend to tell folks quick, no or not. Not because I don’t or even won’t, but I get turned off by someone asking me something too personal too soon. I’m sure I’ve turned off many, but hey those times weren’t meant to be. I’m more of a act in the moment or as permitted….than giving out a list of things I will do. IMO and solely for me, that’s tacky.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
1:08 pm
MsAtl, yes I have. the bad thing about it most of the time she would be filling in for someone else that canceled (LOL)
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
1:29 pm
Single ~ you too were filling in for God, but he never cancelled.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
1:38 pm
Leggs, Huh??
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
1:44 pm
I was attempting to say seemed she always had church stuff to do, that you were her standby to go to when the church didn’t need her. Nevamind, it fell flat…..
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
2:01 pm
On the topic of church. I remember when I was a teenager, it was this girl in the hood named Tammi. Whew.. she was a fine young Amazon. Played basketball for North Miami High, thighs for days. Her mother was very over protective and kept her in the church. She dropped her off to choir rehearsal twice a week. I would be parked behind the church. She would go in the front door and come out the back, get in my car; we would go park by the lake and have sex. Then I would take her back to church before rehearsal ended. She had me fiending. I would get up at 1:00 am, and literally run about a half mile to her house. She would sneak me in her bedroom while her mother slept. She had that wet wet for real.
After about six months of that……She told me she was pregnant.
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
2:01 pm
This day is dragging by like cold molasses…
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
2:02 pm
Single – That church girl remind me of this guy I used to date who used his mama to get out of spending time with me. He always had to go over to his mamas. Finally, I told him I was no fool and just because he “claimed” it was his mama didn’t mean I didn’t have something to say about it. Oh, and he was lying about 98% of the time, I found out and suspected anyway.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
2:05 pm
What I’ve found funny is, at some point, sans intimacy (that is if y’all ain’t getting down date one…lol), dudes wanna talk, probe a little, to see what you think as it relates to intimacy, what you like or have a flavor for. I like this time/window. I don’t mean inappropriate but real talk, adult talk. Depending on where we are and how much in “like” I am determines how much I’m willing to open up and talk. Even so, I’m not gonna disclose everything about me. I like to unfold over time
That’s just how I’m built. Well, there are a couple of things I’m learning while allowing the probe session….lol
1. Dudes that back away quick because of maybe me not revealing much, sends a red flag. Not all, but most times, they ain’t keepers. They want it easy, EVERYTHING and quick. I’ve found they’re not willing to learn how to tap into the depths of a woman…which is key.
2. Dudes that smile and nod, not moved by bland info, already know, it’s only a matter of tapping into the depths. In my experience, they seemed to enjoy discovering (mentally), how to move me. Not a maze or game but the art of learning. Apparently it’s an accomplished skill…lol By their response and not running scared, it’s was always OR IS…I should say…the telltale sign that they’re gonna enjoy getting in. I think any mature man knows how to move their woman, nothing you can’t get out of her. Whether it’s sex, or compromise, getting and staying on the same page, keeping her pleased (again not just sex). THOSE ARE THE KEEPERS. They ain’t afraid to go all in and get what they desire.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
2:08 pm
My kid’s dad was the only was brazen enough (cause I was still living at home then), to tap the bedroom window. Nuuuuuh uh!! While I was tempted (I can’t lie), I was too scared to do that. My daddy was upstairs and my sister downstairs with me, across the hall. Sooooo many times he would be parked outside in the wee hours of the mornings saying “open the window”….nuh uh…lol We’d end up talking a couple of hours and he’d finally give up.
Nooooo buddy, couldn’t trust that. You in and it’s all good midstroke, you ain’t gonna stop if my daddy is coming down the stairs.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
2:14 pm
Only one dude though had me where I was giving intentional answers. He was so up on me and ready that I was a little intimadated. I would NEVER tell him that though. Twice, I was speechless during one of our convos. And I mentioned once on here, we’d worked out together and getting some “talk” in during the process. He calls me, right while I’m going over a bridge and asked me a really HOT question. Needless to say I was rendered speechless. I almost drove over the bridge. When I couldn’t find words, all he said was “I thought so”, laughed and hung up. Man on man on man….is all I can say. Whew buddy. Some dudes just know how to do the dang thing.
disco
November 30th, 2012
2:18 pm
C – I had a guy tell me he doesn’t like to talk about sex. my first initial thought was “game”. he’s trying to put that out there like he’s all innocent and wholesome just to see how I play it. after that I just thought, “buster”. he might know he ain’t working with nothing and is delaying the inevitable. lol. I don’t know what the real reason is. it doesn’t matter anymore since this is the bankrupt, sleep apnea guy.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
2:21 pm
disco – Yeah, that’s a big ole red flag. That first sentence would have had me shutting buddy down….mainly cause that ain’t normal. I don’t want “fresh” dudes but I like them to be who they are. I don’t know any redblooded man that don’t like sex and all that you can think of, that’s related. Be it talk, toys, thoughts, hopes, wishes, dreaming, planning, hanking, whatever!! Yeah, he needed you to get the door for him and with the quickness. The more real a dude is, the more open I am. No time for games and folks pretending to be all squeaky. Let me be squeaky and you be that redblooded man…
Button
November 30th, 2012
2:21 pm
I sure can use some sake right now
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
2:22 pm
Disco, I don’t like to talk about sex before having sex, builds up to many expectations.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
2:24 pm
Sake, Japanese wine??
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
2:26 pm
I sure can use some sake right now
Warm or cold? I like mine warm…
I wouldn’t mind some spiked hot cocoa…
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
2:26 pm
Talking intimately is nowhere near talking “sex.” Having an adult conversation does not equate to size, toys, top/bottom, etc. I’m not having that convo with anybody, we’ll just let that happen. But, talking intimately will reveal much about a person. Intimately means deep, about everything, what are your likes dislikes, things you like to do, places you like to go, hangups, so forth and so on. BIG difference.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
2:27 pm
Later folks
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
2:29 pm
And still, I can talk intimate and reveal what I want you to know…again, not everything. Still, for me, that’s where much is learned. Even to the fact that I ain’t giving it all up by just telling it to you. That happens over time.
Now…later folks
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
2:29 pm
C – I had a guy tell me he doesn’t like to talk about sex. my first initial thought was “game”
Button
November 30th, 2012
2:30 pm
Yes Single
Warm Sassy
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
2:31 pm
Even though we ain’t talking like that, to say that is waaay to the left. That ain’t normal to pop that out of the box early on. Grab the point please. I stand by what I said
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
2:35 pm
Hmmm I don’t talk about sex,translation, if she doesn’t bring it up, I don’t bring it up., it’s never mentioned!!
abc
November 30th, 2012
2:46 pm
Different strokes, but most men would prefer someone settled down, not over-extended on time, able to create a comfortable home, all that. Women who aren’t into that, well, …maybe you’re single for a reason. Me personally, I a very good cook and can keep a nice home all by myself, but I really like that my wife wants to do those things, and places a priority on fulfilling that.
As far as church time being intrusive, yes indeed, it can get that way for anybody. It almost sucks you in: the more time you spend, the more you’re asked to spend. But, to me, church is really for people who seek the Spirit, not so much for the benefit of those that have it. Far be it from me to tell anyone they spend too much time at church.
Me, I don’t like to talk about sex. If the topic is sex, then the time for action is now. Talk is cheap.
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
2:54 pm
When I was dating, and I felt the vibe was comfortable enough, I typically had three sex questions that I would ask.
1. Have you ever been with another woman
2. How often do your masturbate
3. Do you watch porno
Their answers were not really important. I found their reactions to be the most revealing. Some would answer honestly, without missing a beat. Others would get all flustered and indignant like I insulted them. The latter was definitely to square to be around me and never got a call back.
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
2:58 pm
had a guy tell me he doesn’t like to talk about sex. my first initial thought was “game”
Yep…all day long..
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
3:01 pm
None of those questions really warrant feeling like you’ve been insulted, DuShawn.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:03 pm
sassy, why is it game?
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
3:03 pm
I didnt think so either. So If a chick flipped (and it has happened), I would conclude that this woman is wierd.
Button
November 30th, 2012
3:04 pm
Yep those are the three questions I’ve been asked specially about p*rn. I like watching it.
i'm swiss
November 30th, 2012
3:09 pm
“p*rn. I like watching it.,”
Well hello there, Button. I don’t know that we’ve been formally introduced. Name’s swiss… How you doin’…?
Button
November 30th, 2012
3:12 pm
lol how you doing Swiss
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
3:13 pm
S/H – it is game. That’s the ole “throw off” , You tell them you don’t like to talk about it so they will think it’s the furthest thing from your mind. If you were a bank teller and knew you were plotting to steal, the last thing you want to discuss with your manager is money. You want to keep him talking about the weather, football or anything other than your true intentions.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:14 pm
You tell them you don’t like to talk about it so they will think it’s the furthest thing from your mind.
translation = Banana in the tailpipe. Nobody falls for this setup.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:15 pm
never knew that dushawn
abc
November 30th, 2012
3:16 pm
About the full extent of me talking about sex is ‘Ya wanna?’. Else, not interested in talking about it. No game.
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:16 pm
you’re telling me what you’re not going to do before I even ask, then I know when we get married you may do it for a little while, but it won’t last long.
Single – That’s the key though, I wouldn’t tell a guy what I would or wouldn’t do before he even asked, at least nothing that was relavant to our relationship. I might yack to my friends about what I won’t or will do and usually it’s minor stuff, like I’m not washing windows or cutting the grass or something. I don’t go into sex at all. I didn’t get into that with hubs before we were married. And I believe in not starting something I can’t continue. Plus, both parties in the relationship can change over time. Stuff you may have thought you won’t do, now you have someone you feel comfortable enough to try with.
The only thing I recall telling hubs he’ll never get me to do is ride a motorcycle. Moped maybe, but no motorbike. I’m terrified of them. He still saw fit to marry me!LOL!!
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:17 pm
Dudes that need everything explained and broken down, can’t comprehend, don’t get it, never knew that happened, what does that mean, never heard of that,(prime example: camel toe) = set up
Nobody falls for that either….lololol
i'm swiss
November 30th, 2012
3:18 pm
“Banana in the tailpipe.”
You like that move, C? Awww suki suki. You do have a little freak in there, huh?
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:19 pm
Swiss – Not that tailpipe. That’s an “exit” only for me. lol
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
3:21 pm
S/H – it is game. That’s the ole “throw off”
You tell them you don’t like to talk about it so they will think it’s the furthest thing from your mind.
translation = Banana in the tailpipe. Nobody falls for this setup.
Thanks Du and Celi
….that answer your question? Not like you didn’t know alread…get better boo booooo…
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:22 pm
Kimmie, both parties should be willing to change over time, everything changes over time.
also, don’t talk about sex because it is the furthest thing from my mind when I’m getting to know someone. I’m no angel, probably freakier than most, but not on my mind at that time.
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
3:22 pm
Cosign on your 3:17,too, Celi….
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:23 pm
not going that with you, move along, nothing to see here.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:23 pm
Sassy –
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:26 pm
Kimmie, both parties should be willing to change over time, everything changes over time.
Single – Well DUH!!!!!
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:27 pm
Yeah, I never fall for that “deer in the headlights” fake dumbness either.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:27 pm
Now kimmie, you know some people think things aren’t ever supposed to change, it’s supposed to stay just like it was when we first meet.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:28 pm
Part of my growth IS having intimate talks. Again, intimate being getting down to a more personal level. We ain’t gonna just go out, eat dinner, sit there and look at each and say nothing
Ooooor, he comes over we pop in a movie and no one says a thing??? No, the more time we spend, the more comfy, the more we both open up. That’s what I mean by intimate talk. Asking me about places I’ve gone, what I like, slip in there (every now and again) something sexy. Will I catch that? Am I slow? That kind of flow. But, if you don’t talk at all and just have at it, then no, you don’t get what I’m saying. For me, that’s been apart of growing and becoming acquainted. And talking intimate can be about things you did as a kid, what you learned. Things you don’t walk around just telling everybody. Theeeen the more comfy, the more deeper I expect us to go. If that’s wrong, then hey, let me be….lol
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:28 pm
So not knowing something is dumb?
i'm swiss
November 30th, 2012
3:29 pm
Button — I can’t lie… your boy has got a serious case of the Blue Ball
s, and the little cockblocka (© 2012 DuShawn) isn’t even born yet. Me & my right hand are getting waaaaay too close, let’s put it that way…kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:29 pm
Single – Yeah, that’s usually the case with dudes. Like your earlier post “you used to do that when we first married, but now you don’t do it anymore”LOL!!!
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:32 pm
Cel – your 3:38, real talk.
Single – Not knowing something you should know, yeah it sounds dumb to me.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:34 pm
Kimmie, what about the women and the things we used to do when we first meet, the way you used to treat me, it goes both ways.
Sex talk= how big are you, what do you like to do in bed, what positions do you like, where do you like to do it, explain to me what any of the above has to do with i did as a kid?
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:35 pm
kimmie and why should I know what camel two meant, what relevance does it have with life?
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:35 pm
Kimmie – Thanks. I know somebody gets what I’m saying. Thanks Sassy.
I think it’s funny that a couple of folks jumped on “I don’t talk about sex.” Ummm, well I do. When it’s time, the right time, the right person. I find it funny too, that some get what I’m saying…lololol Again, if that’s wrong but it’s working for me, let me be wrong allll day long.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:37 pm
Okay…not “sex” like that, but y’all get it. I’m becoming redundant now. K…done
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:39 pm
I’ve said it about five times today I know….
Intimate can mean a vast array of topics. Those things that you don’t commonly share with everyone. Special things in your life, DON’T HAVE TO BE SEX RELATED. Things you share with a SO = INTIMATE
I don’t allow nor speak to anyone about size, positions, toys, gadgets, how many partners, licking, sucking….that’s inappropriate. I believe though I said that earlier.
If you don’t know the flow and how to flow, mayne that just sucks.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
3:41 pm
Celisea ~ if someone didn’t get what you were saying @3:28, they really don’t need to be dating.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:41 pm
Disco’s post was about a dude, not talking about sex, not about a dude who didn’t talk about intimacy!
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
3:42 pm
When it’s time, the right time, the right person.
Precisely…everything has it’s place and if you rush it too soon it can definitely send up red flags…whether intended or not.
Me & my right hand are getting waaaaay too close, let’s put it that way…
Umm Swiss While I can’t understand your plight, I sympathize with you but I know right now you’d rather have something else instead…
Talk that talk Celi
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:43 pm
Leggs – I definitely agree…lol And really it’s a flow. Not calculated (mostly), just easy breezy.
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:43 pm
Single – Only thing I know is women are always accused of trying to change a man. And a lot of folks say what you did to attract one another is what you should do to keep them, so don’t start nothing you can’t keep up. Like I didn’t look cute and fit just to let myself go once I got married. He was attracted to fit and healthy, so I will do all in my power to keep it up.
A lot of folks can’t handle it when a person changes in what should be a positive way. Like when you married me I was 300 pounds, but I lose 150 of it. You now get insecure cause other dudes are checking me, even though I’m still just as devoted to you and our marriage, I’m just slimmer, healthier and more energetic and attractive!
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:45 pm
Sassy –
Y’all get it…you Leggs and Kimmie. It ain’t that hard.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:46 pm
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
2:22 pm
Disco, I don’t like to talk about sex BEFORE having sex, builds up to many expectations.
Original post, where in there did anybody get I don’t talk about sex at all?? or I don’t talk at all??
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:47 pm
okay kimmie (LOL)
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:48 pm
Single, where did I say something about camel two?
And yes, we get all day that stuff can go both ways!!!
Celisea – A lot of folks don’t understand the true meaning of intimacy. Oftentimes it has nothing to do with sex, but if you share it with someone, you are closer to that person than someone you just share the physical with and nothing more.
Sassy – Agree, right time, place and person for everything!! Most folks just lack finese!!
Button
November 30th, 2012
3:49 pm
Swiss does your right hand know about the six weeks post baby? Me think your right hand will be your best friend.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:52 pm
Kimmie – Igggg Zackly
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:53 pm
Kimmie, I may be wrong, but I assumed you were cosigning some one else’s post about the dumb thing that referred to the camel toe, I didn’t know what camel toe meant because I had never paid any attention to a camel toe and had never been around anyone that mentioned it.
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
3:53 pm
-swiss- lay her on her side, sling shot them pregnancy bloomers, rub that belly and get in there. A couple of dents in the babies head won’t hurt it.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
4:00 pm
Kimmie, the topic started about talking about sex, not having intimate talks. Nothing to understand
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
4:03 pm
Most folks just lack finese!!
True that.
Du if a woman doesn’t feel like it because she’s PREGNANT and due to deliver in LISS than a MONTH then I think the father should/would understand….I think..
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
4:07 pm
Single – okay……
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
4:12 pm
I had sex with my youngest sons mother the day he was born, she said the doctor said it would make it easier. but she also did feel like it. her idea, not mine.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
4:15 pm
Most folks just lack finese!!
Most folks just lack finese!!
Most folks just lack finese!!
Most folks just lack finese!!
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
4:15 pm
I had sex with my wife right after a c-section. She was still on the delivery table. I’m like “hold her still doc”
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
4:16 pm
the topic started about talking about sex, not having intimate talks. Nothing to understand
As with the supposed nature of the blog and most anything else, roll with it…IJS
Night folks!!!
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
4:17 pm
okay du, now you doing to much (LOL) she was in labor when we did it (LOL) a least not to my knowledge
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
4:17 pm
Single ~ her idea may have been twofold:
(1) to help you relieve yourself knowing she’s out of commission for the next 6 weeks, and
(2) anything to make that baby get out of her ASAP.
I had a friend who purposely walked around Six Flags and dropped the next morning.
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
4:17 pm
Have a fabulous weekend everyone!!
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
4:18 pm
I mean wasn’t in labor
Leggs 6 weeks, she didn’t wait that long (LOL)
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
4:21 pm
The fact you felt you needed to clarify that, Single, makes the post even funnier. No way a woman in labor is going to be sexing you. She might be looking for a chainsaw to cut you, but sexing she won’t be doing (lolol).
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
4:33 pm
Leggs she wasn’t that bad when she was in labor, and wasn’t in it that long either.
Time to call it a day, nice debating with you guys today
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
4:53 pm
PEACE!