Is partying keeping you single?
I can remember having a big ugly fight with a guy I was dating because he thought I just “ran the streets too much.” No, seriously. He constantly called it that and it drove me nuts. It’s not like I was popping bottles in the club or anything! I was volunteering, singing in a chorus, juggling day job and my part-time work. I was, well BUSY.
I had no problem making time for him but I had no interest in sitting at home ALL the time. His constant criticism about me being on the go really made it clear how we were not a match.
I always ask my guy friends to cut their dates some slack when it comes to this. Just because a single woman is out on the town, traveling around, and enjoying her carefree life, doesn’t mean she can’t make room for him. A lot of my male friends want to “see” that a woman can come home, cook, and be all domesticated. To them, this is the sign of a mature woman ready to be a wife (I’m not kidding, I have heard this repeatedly.)
Is that really necessary, though? I’d argue that it is not important, but perhaps I’m missing something? Ladies, do men ever tell you that you go out too much?
Guys, do you meet a lot of women who party too much? Do you think it is a sign of immaturity? Do you like to see a women demonstrate her “settled down” side?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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214 comments Add your comment
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
2:31 pm
Even though we ain’t talking like that, to say that is waaay to the left. That ain’t normal to pop that out of the box early on. Grab the point please. I stand by what I said
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
2:35 pm
Hmmm I don’t talk about sex,translation, if she doesn’t bring it up, I don’t bring it up., it’s never mentioned!!
abc
November 30th, 2012
2:46 pm
Different strokes, but most men would prefer someone settled down, not over-extended on time, able to create a comfortable home, all that. Women who aren’t into that, well, …maybe you’re single for a reason. Me personally, I a very good cook and can keep a nice home all by myself, but I really like that my wife wants to do those things, and places a priority on fulfilling that.
As far as church time being intrusive, yes indeed, it can get that way for anybody. It almost sucks you in: the more time you spend, the more you’re asked to spend. But, to me, church is really for people who seek the Spirit, not so much for the benefit of those that have it. Far be it from me to tell anyone they spend too much time at church.
Me, I don’t like to talk about sex. If the topic is sex, then the time for action is now. Talk is cheap.
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
2:54 pm
When I was dating, and I felt the vibe was comfortable enough, I typically had three sex questions that I would ask.
1. Have you ever been with another woman
2. How often do your masturbate
3. Do you watch porno
Their answers were not really important. I found their reactions to be the most revealing. Some would answer honestly, without missing a beat. Others would get all flustered and indignant like I insulted them. The latter was definitely to square to be around me and never got a call back.
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
2:58 pm
had a guy tell me he doesn’t like to talk about sex. my first initial thought was “game”
Yep…all day long..
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
3:01 pm
None of those questions really warrant feeling like you’ve been insulted, DuShawn.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:03 pm
sassy, why is it game?
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
3:03 pm
I didnt think so either. So If a chick flipped (and it has happened), I would conclude that this woman is wierd.
Button
November 30th, 2012
3:04 pm
Yep those are the three questions I’ve been asked specially about p*rn. I like watching it.
i'm swiss
November 30th, 2012
3:09 pm
“p*rn. I like watching it.,”
Well hello there, Button. I don’t know that we’ve been formally introduced. Name’s swiss… How you doin’…?
Button
November 30th, 2012
3:12 pm
lol how you doing Swiss
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
3:13 pm
S/H – it is game. That’s the ole “throw off” , You tell them you don’t like to talk about it so they will think it’s the furthest thing from your mind. If you were a bank teller and knew you were plotting to steal, the last thing you want to discuss with your manager is money. You want to keep him talking about the weather, football or anything other than your true intentions.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:14 pm
You tell them you don’t like to talk about it so they will think it’s the furthest thing from your mind.
translation = Banana in the tailpipe. Nobody falls for this setup.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:15 pm
never knew that dushawn
abc
November 30th, 2012
3:16 pm
About the full extent of me talking about sex is ‘Ya wanna?’. Else, not interested in talking about it. No game.
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:16 pm
you’re telling me what you’re not going to do before I even ask, then I know when we get married you may do it for a little while, but it won’t last long.
Single – That’s the key though, I wouldn’t tell a guy what I would or wouldn’t do before he even asked, at least nothing that was relavant to our relationship. I might yack to my friends about what I won’t or will do and usually it’s minor stuff, like I’m not washing windows or cutting the grass or something. I don’t go into sex at all. I didn’t get into that with hubs before we were married. And I believe in not starting something I can’t continue. Plus, both parties in the relationship can change over time. Stuff you may have thought you won’t do, now you have someone you feel comfortable enough to try with.
The only thing I recall telling hubs he’ll never get me to do is ride a motorcycle. Moped maybe, but no motorbike. I’m terrified of them. He still saw fit to marry me!LOL!!
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:17 pm
Dudes that need everything explained and broken down, can’t comprehend, don’t get it, never knew that happened, what does that mean, never heard of that,(prime example: camel toe) = set up
Nobody falls for that either….lololol
i'm swiss
November 30th, 2012
3:18 pm
“Banana in the tailpipe.”
You like that move, C? Awww suki suki. You do have a little freak in there, huh?
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:19 pm
Swiss – Not that tailpipe. That’s an “exit” only for me. lol
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
3:21 pm
S/H – it is game. That’s the ole “throw off”
You tell them you don’t like to talk about it so they will think it’s the furthest thing from your mind.
translation = Banana in the tailpipe. Nobody falls for this setup.
Thanks Du and Celi
….that answer your question? Not like you didn’t know alread…get better boo booooo…
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:22 pm
Kimmie, both parties should be willing to change over time, everything changes over time.
also, don’t talk about sex because it is the furthest thing from my mind when I’m getting to know someone. I’m no angel, probably freakier than most, but not on my mind at that time.
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
3:22 pm
Cosign on your 3:17,too, Celi….
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:23 pm
not going that with you, move along, nothing to see here.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:23 pm
Sassy –
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:26 pm
Kimmie, both parties should be willing to change over time, everything changes over time.
Single – Well DUH!!!!!
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:27 pm
Yeah, I never fall for that “deer in the headlights” fake dumbness either.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:27 pm
Now kimmie, you know some people think things aren’t ever supposed to change, it’s supposed to stay just like it was when we first meet.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:28 pm
Part of my growth IS having intimate talks. Again, intimate being getting down to a more personal level. We ain’t gonna just go out, eat dinner, sit there and look at each and say nothing
Ooooor, he comes over we pop in a movie and no one says a thing??? No, the more time we spend, the more comfy, the more we both open up. That’s what I mean by intimate talk. Asking me about places I’ve gone, what I like, slip in there (every now and again) something sexy. Will I catch that? Am I slow? That kind of flow. But, if you don’t talk at all and just have at it, then no, you don’t get what I’m saying. For me, that’s been apart of growing and becoming acquainted. And talking intimate can be about things you did as a kid, what you learned. Things you don’t walk around just telling everybody. Theeeen the more comfy, the more deeper I expect us to go. If that’s wrong, then hey, let me be….lol
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:28 pm
So not knowing something is dumb?
i'm swiss
November 30th, 2012
3:29 pm
Button — I can’t lie… your boy has got a serious case of the Blue Ball
s, and the little cockblocka (© 2012 DuShawn) isn’t even born yet. Me & my right hand are getting waaaaay too close, let’s put it that way…kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:29 pm
Single – Yeah, that’s usually the case with dudes. Like your earlier post “you used to do that when we first married, but now you don’t do it anymore”LOL!!!
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:32 pm
Cel – your 3:38, real talk.
Single – Not knowing something you should know, yeah it sounds dumb to me.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:34 pm
Kimmie, what about the women and the things we used to do when we first meet, the way you used to treat me, it goes both ways.
Sex talk= how big are you, what do you like to do in bed, what positions do you like, where do you like to do it, explain to me what any of the above has to do with i did as a kid?
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:35 pm
kimmie and why should I know what camel two meant, what relevance does it have with life?
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:35 pm
Kimmie – Thanks. I know somebody gets what I’m saying. Thanks Sassy.
I think it’s funny that a couple of folks jumped on “I don’t talk about sex.” Ummm, well I do. When it’s time, the right time, the right person. I find it funny too, that some get what I’m saying…lololol Again, if that’s wrong but it’s working for me, let me be wrong allll day long.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:37 pm
Okay…not “sex” like that, but y’all get it. I’m becoming redundant now. K…done
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:39 pm
I’ve said it about five times today I know….
Intimate can mean a vast array of topics. Those things that you don’t commonly share with everyone. Special things in your life, DON’T HAVE TO BE SEX RELATED. Things you share with a SO = INTIMATE
I don’t allow nor speak to anyone about size, positions, toys, gadgets, how many partners, licking, sucking….that’s inappropriate. I believe though I said that earlier.
If you don’t know the flow and how to flow, mayne that just sucks.
Leggs
November 30th, 2012
3:41 pm
Celisea ~ if someone didn’t get what you were saying @3:28, they really don’t need to be dating.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:41 pm
Disco’s post was about a dude, not talking about sex, not about a dude who didn’t talk about intimacy!
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 30th, 2012
3:42 pm
When it’s time, the right time, the right person.
Precisely…everything has it’s place and if you rush it too soon it can definitely send up red flags…whether intended or not.
Me & my right hand are getting waaaaay too close, let’s put it that way…
Umm Swiss While I can’t understand your plight, I sympathize with you but I know right now you’d rather have something else instead…
Talk that talk Celi
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:43 pm
Leggs – I definitely agree…lol And really it’s a flow. Not calculated (mostly), just easy breezy.
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:43 pm
Single – Only thing I know is women are always accused of trying to change a man. And a lot of folks say what you did to attract one another is what you should do to keep them, so don’t start nothing you can’t keep up. Like I didn’t look cute and fit just to let myself go once I got married. He was attracted to fit and healthy, so I will do all in my power to keep it up.
A lot of folks can’t handle it when a person changes in what should be a positive way. Like when you married me I was 300 pounds, but I lose 150 of it. You now get insecure cause other dudes are checking me, even though I’m still just as devoted to you and our marriage, I’m just slimmer, healthier and more energetic and attractive!
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:45 pm
Sassy –
Y’all get it…you Leggs and Kimmie. It ain’t that hard.
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:46 pm
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
2:22 pm
Disco, I don’t like to talk about sex BEFORE having sex, builds up to many expectations.
Original post, where in there did anybody get I don’t talk about sex at all?? or I don’t talk at all??
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:47 pm
okay kimmie (LOL)
kimmie
November 30th, 2012
3:48 pm
Single, where did I say something about camel two?
And yes, we get all day that stuff can go both ways!!!
Celisea – A lot of folks don’t understand the true meaning of intimacy. Oftentimes it has nothing to do with sex, but if you share it with someone, you are closer to that person than someone you just share the physical with and nothing more.
Sassy – Agree, right time, place and person for everything!! Most folks just lack finese!!
Button
November 30th, 2012
3:49 pm
Swiss does your right hand know about the six weeks post baby? Me think your right hand will be your best friend.
Celisea: If it ain't broke........
November 30th, 2012
3:52 pm
Kimmie – Igggg Zackly
Single and Happy Fabulouso Friday
November 30th, 2012
3:53 pm
Kimmie, I may be wrong, but I assumed you were cosigning some one else’s post about the dumb thing that referred to the camel toe, I didn’t know what camel toe meant because I had never paid any attention to a camel toe and had never been around anyone that mentioned it.
DuShawn
November 30th, 2012
3:53 pm
-swiss- lay her on her side, sling shot them pregnancy bloomers, rub that belly and get in there. A couple of dents in the babies head won’t hurt it.