Relationships: Headed for a break up?
My friend Sara is quietly freaking out because she senses a change in her man’s behavior lately. They have not had any major fights, but she said he seems distant and kind of aloof. He’s been this way for a while but it wasn’t until he turned down sex this weekend that she got really concerned.
I am NO relationship expert *cough* but I told her a lot of times men go through things and they just don’t want to open up about it. It does not necessarily mean he has checked out on her emotionally. Still, she worries about his behavior and wonders if they are headed for a break up.
I think a lot of couples hit a rough patch in their dating relationship, some of which come really early on. It can be a double edged sword in that it can either bring you closer together or serve as the beginning of the end. I believe that it is about how you resolve conflict and talk things tough that makes the difference.
That is of course, if you are both committed to it. What should you do if you notice a change in the behavior of your significant other? If they insist that nothing is wrong, do you take their word for it or continue to press them to open up?
If you think about your last break-up, did you see it coming or were there signs that you missed?
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172 comments Add your comment
Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)
November 29th, 2012
2:16 pm
I think it really just boils down to y’all are some punks. just my opinion though. lol.
That’s what it sounds like. You don’t want anymore chirren but won’t take any precautions to not have any…really though. Y’all gone be looking like
in about 9+ months…start picking out names…
disco
November 29th, 2012
2:18 pm
s/h – they don’t have to be punks. they can “man up” and get snipped. lol. of course I know it’s not my junk or my business but really, on the outside looking in, it ain’t that real. I doubt that any of the fellas that are scared (and that’s the reality – they scared) are really toting around a super D.
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:20 pm
Ex I know the power of child support, and it’s a big deterrent to the power of the Vagina!!
DuShawn
November 29th, 2012
2:21 pm
I’m trippin. How bout I’m sitting here thinking of baby names. I always said if I had another son, his name would be Sebastian Cashmere. Call him cash for short. That Sh^&T just sound smooth to me.
Comon Cents
November 29th, 2012
2:24 pm
Du~ Please don’t hang a moniker like that on a baby! I would have to talk cash isht about you then…
disco
November 29th, 2012
2:24 pm
D – with a name like Sebastian he’d better be one smooth mutha sucka. (I’m not even going to comment on cashmere sounding like “pimp” name)
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:25 pm
Sebastian Cashmere oh lord, Call him cash for short (LOL)
DuShawn
November 29th, 2012
2:26 pm
Let me tell yall. Men are punks when it comes to medical procedures. That’s why we don’t get physical as often as we should. I have seen what women go thru during child birth. If men had to do it, there would only be about 100 maffukas on earth.
MsAtl
November 29th, 2012
2:27 pm
Du-Shawn- just go sit in the corner for five minutes on that one!
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:27 pm
Comon did you send the email?
(I’m not even going to comment on cashmere sounding like “pimp” name) just a pimp (LOL)
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 29th, 2012
2:27 pm
DuShawn – Just so you know Hashtag is already taken
MsAtl
November 29th, 2012
2:27 pm
No, the previous one about Sebastian Cashmere.
DuShawn
November 29th, 2012
2:29 pm
Enter your comments here
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:29 pm
Dushawn after having a kidney stone, and being told by a woman that she would rather have a baby than one of those, everything else is easy.
Exiled!
November 29th, 2012
2:31 pm
yea Single,Child Support and Alimony are marriage killers in America
DuShawn
November 29th, 2012
2:32 pm
I may name him Shuddaben Swallowed
disco
November 29th, 2012
2:33 pm
I get so sick of chicks and their horrendous childbirth stories. guess it’s because I was like that chick in what to expect when you are expecting who sneezed and the baby was there. lol. I was like “this is it”? piece of cake.
i'm swiss
November 29th, 2012
2:33 pm
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:37 pm
ex, where did you get that from? child support will make you want to stop having children because you can’t afford anymore, has nothing to do with marriage. And real men don’t have a problem supporting their children!
Disco, what she was saying was that a kidney stone was worse than having a baby, those things aint no joke, they had to give me morphine to ease the pain. They may have something different now, but at that time they said that’s the only thing that would work.
Leggs
November 29th, 2012
2:38 pm
SassyMe ~ I typed the exact same thing then erased it because I believe Single said he’s been snipped. So, guess he can holler about since he’s seen the knife.
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:40 pm
Leggs, I’ve seen the knife down there twice
so I know I aint know punk (LOL)
Exiled!
November 29th, 2012
2:40 pm
Single..yes but marriages get dissolved and after u have had kids, u surrender most of ur income to the ex wife….that potential loss kills any desire to want to marry…
If men knew that they go in marriage 50-0 and come out 50-50..there wld have been no issue.
U go in with 2 leggs and 2 balls and come out with 1 leg nd 1 ball
So why bother?
Exiled!
November 29th, 2012
2:42 pm
go in marriage 50-50
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:44 pm
Ex, it does work both ways, just doesn’t happen to men. And since most men don’t won’t the responsibility of the kids, what’s wrong with that happening?
Leggs
November 29th, 2012
2:46 pm
If you name your child Shuddaben, I’m going to find a lawyer and have you committed. Comon may do it pro bono!
Exiled!
November 29th, 2012
2:48 pm
i dont get u…just doesnt happen to men?
SINGLE? most men dont want the responsibilty of kids…ha?
women demand kids custody for dollar effect…i wld think not because they luv the kids more…
Are u saying divorcing husbands dont want their kids s well?
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:48 pm
Ex, by your equation, we go in 50-50, but we leave 70-30, only if there is no child support she has the 30 because now she has more dependents, with the child support you’re just bringing the custodial parent back up to 50%
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:48 pm
Ex, by your equation, we go in 50-50, but we leave 70-30, only if there is no child support she has the 30 because now she has more dependents, with the child support you’re just bringing the custodial parent back up to 50%
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 29th, 2012
2:49 pm
SH – You’ve seen the knife twice? Does that mean a knife for each ball or you had to go back because your soldiers were standing their ground?
Exiled!
November 29th, 2012
2:50 pm
HOW about child support for the husband instead?
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:52 pm
Slim, I got circumcised when I was 21, and snipped 2 years ago. speaking of standing their ground, I do need to get that checked again (LOL)
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:53 pm
Ex it happens for the husband too, now it goes by income if you do joint custody.
Leggs
November 29th, 2012
2:53 pm
disco ~ for some, giving birth is no “piece of cake.” Won’t bore you with my story, but suffice it to say my funeral was being planned!!
disco
November 29th, 2012
2:55 pm
ex – while I don’t deny that a lot of women do see their kids as meal tickets (most won’t admit it but there’s some truth to it) it’s not generally their primary motivation. also, I think a lot of men are willing to be primary caregivers of their children but if there is an ex-wife or baby momma they don’t see it as worth fighting over. they’ll do it when they have to or if it comes to that but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
ex – also it’s not really so much that women demand custody but there’s a huge double standard at stake wit this issue. a woman who gives up her kids is a monster while a man who takes in his own kids is a hero. a single parent mother is an abomination, a single parent father is to be commended for stepping up. a man meets a new woman and his ex has the kids not much is thought of it. a woman meets a new man and her ex has the kids he’s going to want to know what’s wrong with her.
Exiled!
November 29th, 2012
2:58 pm
but suffice it to say my funeral was being planned!!
which makes one salute those troopers who pop,pop,pop,pop,pop etc babies as if its nuthin’
thrw in some child support from diff baby daddies and to them its like kaching and pop……
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
2:59 pm
well said disco, I used to get that alot when my son came to live with me. Why something had to be wrong with her, why couldn’t it be what was in the best interest of the child?
Exiled!
November 29th, 2012
3:02 pm
Disco…i have heard the ‘fix’ word being thrwn in, in contentious divorces.
It is an issue fo sho…throw in a mistress causing the divorce and hell yea,ima ‘fix’ him!
not, well, i need the money for a,b,c…rationally speaking….
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
3:02 pm
Ex, if a man is with a women who has a baby daddy and she acting like it’s her meal ticket, and he gets her pregnant, then he’s the fool!!
DuShawn
November 29th, 2012
3:03 pm
Wow…Disco that is so true.
disco
November 29th, 2012
3:04 pm
leggs – I know my case was “special”. I went with a cousin while she delivered and suffice it to say, I’m no good in the delivery room. I was all like “shut up, hurry up” all while watching the clock thinking I have somewhere to be.
S/H – at one point in my life (heck I still am) I was a single father magnet. don’t know why, I’m not checking for anybody’s kids. lol. still the first thing a lot of chicks say is “he must be a good man” and this based just on the fact that he has the kids. men with custody can be bad fathers just like women with custody can be bad mothers but that’s not what people think. they put dude on a pedestal.
S/H – I hate the phrase “best interest of the child”. I can accept it if the parents decide it but I’m glad I was never in a family court room. I swear I’d be in contempt as soon as the judge/lawyer/social worker/counselor/whoever told me what was in the best interest of my child. later for all of them.
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
3:07 pm
Disco, it was decided between us, had nothing to do with the courts, he stayed with her until 13 and with me until 19.
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
3:09 pm
Disco, also when someone would tell me that, I would say the same thing. Even had one chick you to say I was babysitting when ever I spent time with my kids, I was like how the hell you baby sit your own kids!!
Leggs
November 29th, 2012
3:10 pm
dang disco ~ even during childbirth you have no soft spot (lol). How did you let your guard down long enough for someone to even want to hug and kiss you. Asked with love…
Single and Happy Tantilizing Thursday
November 29th, 2012
3:11 pm
Ex, then you the fool, cause the pull out method doesn’t work!! (LOL)
Exiled!
November 29th, 2012
3:13 pm
Single..so what does sniping do in actual effect…do the soldiers stop coming?
disco
November 29th, 2012
3:15 pm
leggs – I have a soft spot. I was there wasn’t I??? lol. I’m really not the hug/kiss type. even as a child I always shrugged away and tried to dodge the kisses. still, I’m strong and practical and folks know they can depend on me. I guess that makes it easier to overlook that I’m not warm, fuzzy or soft around the edges.
Exiled!
November 29th, 2012
3:17 pm
Disco…has the lesbo route not intrigued u ever…never?..as the male one ofcourse?
disco
November 29th, 2012
3:21 pm
ex – first and foremost – to represent for the “community” – there’s not necessarily a male/female. I’ve never gone there and have said for years that I wouldn’t do good with a girlfriend because that would be a domestic violence situation waiting to happen.
by the way – this morning on the radio they were getting feedback from folks re carnival’s “drag queen” cruise. apparently the entire ship isn’t chartered so about 1000 would be in drag and the rest unassuming travelers who didn’t realize they were on a drag cruise. any thoughts on that?
MsAtl
November 29th, 2012
3:21 pm
Disco- I agree fully on your 2:55.
Lol @ you sneezing out the baby. I was in labor for 18 hours & no sight of a baby. My SIL & I almost got put out of the hospital because we were in there cracking jokes. The nurse kept saying “that was a bad pain huh?” and I’m like, excuse me, you’re making me miss the punchline.
DuShawn
November 29th, 2012
3:22 pm
“…….I was like how the hell you baby sit your own kids!!” Wifey tells me that all the time. I be like “Baby, you gonna have to stop working these doubles and night shifts on weekends. I can’t even go to a sports bar and watch the game or hang out because you got me here babysitting!” She’ll say, mafukka they your kids!