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Distant memory to no memory

I am filing this one under: “I hate Facebook.” Do you remember your first love? The first person that made you feel intense emotions? The one that first broke your heart? Well, imagine the person telling you that they don’t remember ANY of that…and barely remember you.

My first love found me on Facebook and sent a friend request. He proceeded to tell me that because of tragic motorcycle accident, he has nearly NO long-term memory. He only remembers that he knew me. That’s it. Ouch, right? Since we have mutual friends, I was shocked that I had not heard of his accident.

I admit, my inner egomaniac/self-absorbed side was kind of devastated to learn that MY role in his life is so ..diminished, now? I actually considered going in and ticking off all the hurtful things that he did to me. How dare HE gets a clean slate while I am stuck with the bittersweet memories? Why can’t I get in on that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kind of action??

Then, I got over myself. He is struggling with the ordeal of losing large parts of his memory. Surely, I can suck it up and spare him the gory details of something that happened years ago. If he asks me, I will be honest as possible, but tread lightly. No good can come from making him feel worse. He has been through enough, obviously.

I started to think of how I would handle losing my memory of the people I once loved. Would there be at least one person I would literally WANT to forget? If I didn’t have all my “wisdom” from my dating misadventures, would I be doomed to repeat the same mistakes?

Would it bother you if someone you once loved had no memory of your time together?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

162 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
6:56 am

good day all

If you’ve truly moved on with your life, why would you even care if past loves remember you? And most of the time when they do, their memory and your memory aren’t the same! Sounds like diva still want’s some “closure”, the best way to get that is to let things go and move on with your life.

lee

November 28th, 2012
7:19 am

As an adult i only had guys years later talk about regret, oh well i don’t have any regrets.
As a teen i was dating a guy named Drew, and then he broke up with me stating, ” he got a girl pregnant before he started dating me”. Then some time passes and his name came up, and i told this guy i knew him and what happened. Well he went back and asked Drew about me and Drew denied even knowing me. Karma is good — in my early 20’s i was at a party and Drew was there, he came up to me “Hey” i stated i don’t know you, sure you do he says, well i acted like “don’t remember” and this was in front a bunch of guys.. he walked away with his tail between his legs:)
I found out later any girl he couldn’t get sexual with he dumped them and used the same excuse. To bad so sad for him. It was great giving back what he dished out. Have a wonderful day.

Exiled!

November 28th, 2012
7:25 am

Yea, Single, she wants sum for Closure.

Or her egomaniac/me me me condition is the real chronic one.

Otherwise how do u explain it when dude send to be suffering from worse than she is?

I don’t remember a whole lot of my real exes and the real short ex quickies.

Got a litany of carcases(dead,not broken hearts) in my trail.

Dead and forgotten.

Good morning MIA!

Exiled!

November 28th, 2012
7:27 am

Seems to be(not send)

SlimNu: Life always happens

November 28th, 2012
8:05 am

Good morning,

What ego wouldn’t want your past loves to remember them? Afterall, we were the best thing that ever happened to them, right…lol

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
8:59 am

Ex “Since we have mutual friends, I was shocked that I had not heard of his accident.” = I think he’s lying!

Button

November 28th, 2012
9:03 am

LOL you got the right SlimNu.

If my ex were to lose all memory of what we had, if wouldn’t have any affect on my whatsoever.
Wise you should be happy to know that he made it through his accident only losing memory that can be retold to him compared to losing his life or other extremities. Have you thought about sharing with him fond memories of what you two shared?

disco

November 28th, 2012
9:07 am

lol. good morning y’all. guess I’m way off base. I immediately thought first love as first childhood crush. I had a thing for a little boy named “JB” in my second grade class. even to this day my mother recalls how I talked about him constantly. in school, elementary and junior high, we were never anything more than competitors. always trying to see who would get the best grades or win the spelling bee or whatever. we went to different high schools. our families are still in touch – I actually visited his father over the summer. JB is a doctor now and married and all that. I wish him the best. I did tell him once back when we were in our 20s how I crushed on him in elementary. he claimed to never have noticed. go figure.

MsAtl

November 28th, 2012
9:21 am

Morning All!
I don’t think it would bother me much if someone I once loved had no memory of our time together. There had to be a reason he was a “once.”

disco

November 28th, 2012
9:23 am

ms. atl – barring the traumatic brain injury type incident I don’t think I would even buy the “I don’t remember you” line. I’d accept it for what it is “I wish I’d never met your janky A” and keep it moving. shoot, I don’t deny there’s some folks in my past I wish I’d never come across but pretending not to know them is just childish.

MsAtl

November 28th, 2012
9:32 am

Disco- Janky? Had to laugh at that. Okay, I read Diva as saying they had no memory of specific times/ incidents. If someone claimed not to remember me at all, then yes, I would call BS. It seems this guy had the TBI type injury, so he can get a pass.

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
9:48 am

I wouldn’t be ticked that he didn’t remember anything because he had an accident. With that aside, to not remember me and dismiss me as an average joe blow with all your faculties in tact would bother me. You cared enough back then to date me, I sho hope I made an impact somewhere on your timeline of life.

Morning…blah, blah, blah!

disco

November 28th, 2012
9:49 am

ms. atl – yeah. janky is one of my words. I just like the way it sounds. the movie the vow was on recently. I guess it would suck to be married and have your spouse wake up and not remember who you were. guess it would suck know matter who it was: spouse, parent, child, friend. guess memory is one of those things we take for granted.

leggs – blah blah blah back at you.

Comon Cents

November 28th, 2012
9:57 am

Who cares if an ex remembers you? Hell, I would like my exes to forget me completely! :lol:

However, in this case, I have to say that it’s pretty crass to be hurt that someone who had a traumatic brain injury did not remember you. I mean, really? Jesus H. the man almost died and you’re upset that he doesn’t remember a relationship from 10-20 years ago?!? (estimating the time as I don’t know how old MIA is or how old she was when she had her first love)

Good Morning, bloggies!

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
10:11 am

Thanks disco!

abc

November 28th, 2012
10:13 am

I’ve actually had girls from high school contact me about ‘remember when’ and they were pretty offended when I didn’t; but, I really don’t, so while I feel bad for them about it, I figure it can’t have really been all that memorable.

Just stop with the Facebook nonsense.

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
10:13 am

However, in this case, I have to say that it’s pretty crass to be hurt that someone who had a traumatic brain injury did not remember you. – Yeah, that was my point, but I’m loss for words this morning (lol).

disco

November 28th, 2012
10:16 am

leggs – you are welcome. I, for one, understand blah blah blah. lol.

abc – nothing wrong with not remembering specific incidents but to front like you don’t remember the person might be going too far. just my opinion though. granted there’s lots of folks I’m sure I’ve forgotten about but I would like to believe that I would remember everyone I actually “got busy” with. when you get to the point that you don’t remember them, your memory isn’t the most important problem you have.

Comon Cents

November 28th, 2012
10:24 am

Leggs~ Thats what I’m here for. lol!

And disco, blah blah blah…

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
10:31 am

Disco, while you may think you may have had a significant roll in their lives, you may not have. I really don’t remember everyone I’ve gotten busy with.

” Do you remember your first love? The first person that made you feel intense emotions? The one that first broke your heart?.”

While they may have been all the above to you, to them, you were just a bump in the road. I recently reunited with a girl after 30 years that I had a major crush on during high school, we were in the same homeroom for 4 years, and took several classes together, after awhile of getting reacquainted in my mind, she told me she didn’t remember me at all, while over the years I’d often wonder what happened to her.

disco

November 28th, 2012
10:31 am

any of y’all co-workers collecting for the powerball pool? I never participate but then I have to hope and pray my co-workers don’t win. lol.

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
10:31 am

:lol: :lol: Thanks Comon.

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
10:34 am

I accidentally put my winning powerball numbers on a Mega Millions ticket. Tried to give back to the woman behind counter, but she couldn’t take them back. So now, I have 8 tix. 4 mega and 4 powerball. Hopefully, my mistake will at least let me recoup my $12.

disco

November 28th, 2012
10:34 am

S/H – in my opinion – and this is just me – if you don’t remember everyone you’ve slept with then you may have slept with too many people. mind you, it’s not for me to say what number is too many but ijs…

btw – your example I can get with. the significant difference though is it was just a one-sided crush. there was no relationship. if the crush never even knew you were checking for them you can’t hold that against them.

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
10:35 am

My co-workers started a pool, if I don’t win, I would hope they would win, because it would be a win win situation, either way, I won’t be around them anymore (LOL)

disco

November 28th, 2012
10:38 am

leggs – earlier this year a friend asked me to pick up some powerball tickets. I don’t normally play numbers so I was actually standing off to the side like the village idiot reading the instructions on the little card you fill in. anyway, when I did go up to the cashier someone ahead of me had walked off and left their tickets on the counter ($25 worth). you see my dilemma. lol. long story short, I scooped up their tickets, bought my tickets and rolled out. the whole time I’m watching the door thinking someone was going to come in looking for their tickets. I remember telling everyone I felt just like the thief that I was. they tried to console me by telling me “finders keepers”.

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
10:40 am

Disco, I can’t remember all the details, but I think I tried, but it didn’t bother me either way, she knows me now :-D And you can never sleep with too many people, now to few is a whole nother issue (LOL)

and the school situation, because of our names we were always seated close enough to have conversations, so she knew me then, just didn’t remember me.

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
10:42 am

disco ~ I was at the counter sometime ago when I noticed someone left their tix behind. I had them in my hand when the cashier said “you’re not taking those are you?” I said, of course not. Just looking at the numbers and handed them over. She cleared my conscious for me.

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
10:44 am

Disco, if they don’t sign the back of the ticket, it’s anybody’s ticket, finders keepers, loosers weepers (LOL)

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
10:46 am

Leggs, she said that because she wanted them (LOL) there have been several instances where the clerks have stole tickets, and one case where a lady found a winning ticket in the garbage and the store sued saying it belonged to them.

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
10:48 am

I thought that too, Single!! But one thing I do know, God don’t like ugly so I try not to do too much wrong. I don’t necessarily walk the straight and narrow, but my walk is only slightly crooked (lol).

disco

November 28th, 2012
10:48 am

leggs – good for you and the cashier. I needed someone to clear my conscious. I swear I felt like the po-po were going to pull me over at any moment behind some daggone lottery tickets. I was nervous for real. (I’ve done my dirt but stealing was never my thing). it didn’t help that the folks that I called to confess my sin were all talking about I would have been a fool to leave them there. the found tickets did win a little something but certainly not jackpot money.

S/H – also the states have conducted stings where they send folks in with winning tickets and have them ask the clerk if they won and the clerk says no and keeps the ticket. greed is a muthah.

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
10:54 am

There was a guy on this show about lottery winners, who won and lost everything, took the ticket to the store and the clerk told him it didn’t win. A couple of days later he looked at the numbers and realized he did win, but the clerk didn’t give him back his ticket, needless to say when he went looking for the clerk he was long gone. tried to pursue it through the police and lottery offices but because he didn’t sign the back of the ticket, it wasn’t his. So if you find a winning ticket and there is no signature, it’s your ticket, by law that is.

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
10:57 am

Leggs, If I found some money and someone came and said they lost the amount I found I would give it to them, or if I saw the person that left the tickets, I would let them know. but if I found the ticket for that half a billion, (hell here I come) (LOL)

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
10:59 am

Disco, don’t know why these lottery players don’t sign their tickets when the get them, that way even the clerks can’t steal them.

disco

November 28th, 2012
11:00 am

a family member went to bingo the other night with $20 and left $1800 richer. I haven’t played bingo in 25 or 30 years but maybe I need to go find me a bingo hall to hang out in every now and again

Exiled!

November 28th, 2012
11:05 am

Disco..re Powerball?

I don’t know if I would be off base but ummmmm…

I did a budget in that $5hundred mil!

:lol:

And I got the resignation letter off work ready on the lap email..ready to hit submit with a thud!

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
11:05 am

blah blah blah….I gotcha Single! When I left the store this morning, this guy was standing outside drinking coffee. He asked if I had the winning numbers. I shrugged my shoulders. He asked if I would buy him a cup of coffee if I won tomorrow morning. I said sure.

Speaking of that, let me tell you a kindhearted foolish thing I did last night. There’s this vagrant that stands outside the likka store I frequent shining hubcaps for people to spare change. He’s been doing this a few years. He asked if I was cooking Tksgiving dinner if I would bring him a plate. I agreed. We scheduled pickup for last night. He wasn’t there. I actually waited 5 mins then left. I remembered that he sometimes will be at the gas station across the street. Don’t you know I made a U-turn and went across the street looking for him. He wasn’t there so I had to go to the next light and make another turn to get back on street to go home. As I was driving by the last gas station I spotted him standing in the corner. I made another U turn, gave him the plate and laughed at myself all the way home. Felt like those people searching derelict row looking for loved ones.

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
11:05 am

I just pulled my tix out and signed them!!!

Exiled!

November 28th, 2012
11:06 am

Budget on the..

Exiled!

November 28th, 2012
11:11 am

If I don’t hit this lotto(banish that thought!!) I be really crushed.

and MIA….after I win(not if) u be the first to know…that tmrw.

Promise!

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
11:17 am

If you won the lottery, would A) be at the lottery office when it opened, B) consult a lawyer and accountant before claiming your prize.

for me it would be A, don’t need to talk to anyone about my money :-D

disco

November 28th, 2012
11:24 am

S/H – your post re what to do with lottery winnings reminded me of this morning’s radio call in which in turn reminded me of yesterday’s radio call in. the doug banks show I think. the topic was for folks to call in and tell about the worse beat down they ever got. some chick called in and said she was riding the bus with a friend, just sitting on the bus talking smack about everyone who got on the bus. said a midget got on and she talked about her too. turns out they got off at the same stop and the midget called her out and had her scared to get off the bus. she said the bus driver finally made her get off. when she got off she said the chick straight stole on her and beat her down right at the door of the bus. she said she could hear laughing and she swears she was seeing stars. I was driving along cracking up.

Albert

November 28th, 2012
11:36 am

Wise Diva, was this guy on the level, or just yanking your chain?

kimmie

November 28th, 2012
11:42 am

Hey errbody!!!

Dude had brain injury and lost his memory of me? All bets are off! Diva, your first reaction to that is jacked up! My ego would never have ever come to play in a case like that!

Disco, I agree with your 9:23. That “I don’t remember you” game is childish. You might not remember every detail, but yo behind remembers!

Either way, I’ve so moved on from the past. I don’t care if any of my exes remember me. Hope they are all doing well, but that’s it. Don’t have no kids with none of them, so no need to keep contact in any way.

Speaking of lotto, how about a good friend of mine called me this morning mad at her boyfriend. He went thru a nasty divorce and is still battling his ex over the kids. Naturally he’s a little gun-shy when it comes to marriage and relationships. Anyway, they got to talking about if he won the lottery and she said until they get this custody thing straight with the kids he should probably put his winnings in someone else’s name. He said if he did, he would put the money in his mom or sister’s name. My friend got mad because she said they are in love and she would not hesitate to put the money in his name if she was in a similiar situation. I told her I understood where dude was coming from. He’s been burned and not as trusting. Yall all in love now, but you are not married and stuff changes, like it did for him & his ex. I told her she needed to be just as smart about her money when it comes to someone she’s not married too. She’s all running thru the daisies, but she needs to be alot more practical. I told her I never got into any financial intanglements with anyone I was not married to!!

DuShawn

November 28th, 2012
11:47 am

I remember reconnecting with this chick that I hadn’t seen in twenty years. We got to reminiscing about how we used to get it in. I told her I remembered how that thang used to smack. I’m thinking she gone speak on how I used to beat it up or my skillz in the sheets. She said she only remembered how much I used to sweat…….I’m like….ouch! I got real quiet after that.

Exiled!

November 28th, 2012
11:49 am

Kimmie.. Lol

Ur friend is very delusional honestly!

…giving a girlfriend custody of my half a bill$$ lotto winnings? Really?

How old is this ‘in love’ friend Kimmie?

Kraaaaeeezey! :lol:

kimmie

November 28th, 2012
12:03 pm

Exiled – Almost 40 – too old!! And divorced herself, so she outght to know better!!!

Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday

November 28th, 2012
12:16 pm

Kimmie, now this guy is someone who needs to consult a lawyer before doing anything, things can backfire on you in heart beat.

Leggs

November 28th, 2012
1:09 pm

I see this page hasn’t really moved any.

kimmie ~ she should smack herself into reality. I wish I would put someone that I’m dating as a beneficiary of my winnings. Not going to happen.