Distant memory to no memory
I am filing this one under: “I hate Facebook.” Do you remember your first love? The first person that made you feel intense emotions? The one that first broke your heart? Well, imagine the person telling you that they don’t remember ANY of that…and barely remember you.
My first love found me on Facebook and sent a friend request. He proceeded to tell me that because of tragic motorcycle accident, he has nearly NO long-term memory. He only remembers that he knew me. That’s it. Ouch, right? Since we have mutual friends, I was shocked that I had not heard of his accident.
I admit, my inner egomaniac/self-absorbed side was kind of devastated to learn that MY role in his life is so ..diminished, now? I actually considered going in and ticking off all the hurtful things that he did to me. How dare HE gets a clean slate while I am stuck with the bittersweet memories? Why can’t I get in on that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kind of action??
Then, I got over myself. He is struggling with the ordeal of losing large parts of his memory. Surely, I can suck it up and spare him the gory details of something that happened years ago. If he asks me, I will be honest as possible, but tread lightly. No good can come from making him feel worse. He has been through enough, obviously.
I started to think of how I would handle losing my memory of the people I once loved. Would there be at least one person I would literally WANT to forget? If I didn’t have all my “wisdom” from my dating misadventures, would I be doomed to repeat the same mistakes?
Would it bother you if someone you once loved had no memory of your time together?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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162 comments Add your comment
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
1:21 pm
Leggs, she’s not talking a beneficiary, she wants him to put it in her name.
Leggs
November 28th, 2012
1:24 pm
Then she kills him off and takes off w/the money!
abc
November 28th, 2012
1:28 pm
Actually, I can think of a couple of exes that I WISH would forget they ever knew me.
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
1:31 pm
As much as I obviously loved my now husband when we were dating, no way would I have even considered being so clueless and wreckless as that.
The more you guys talk about it and I think about it, it’s really disturbing me that she hasn’t progressed further along than this. Imma have to call her tonight and have a sister-friend talk with some tough love!
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
1:32 pm
Leggs, she wouldn’t have to kill him, just take off with the money, a risk he would take by putting it in anyone else’s name.
Scenario 1, gives mom ticket, mom signs ticket, mom dies of heart attack, now winnings go to next of kin, husband and siblings.
Scenario 2, gives sister ticket, sister signs ticket, sister dies in car accident, winnings go to husband and kids.
Scenario 3, gives ticket to girlfriend, girlfriend signs ticket, girlfriend runs off with me
I like scenario 3 (LOL)
Delvon
November 28th, 2012
1:34 pm
Used to dabble on FB. Got my twitting turned up but don’t do the blast from the past folks too tuff.
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
1:37 pm
Dang Single, can’t “win” for losing!!LOL!!
Leggs
November 28th, 2012
1:38 pm
Media has been running stories on some that won lottery and how they lost it all. One man went to his sister’s house. Once he got there sister was telling brother that she was having car trouble. Brother refused to help her so sister and her boyfriend killed the brother and tried to claim the rest of his money. Seriously, people are so greedy they can’t see the fallacy in their own crimes. What an idiot! Now, they’re both serving life!!!!
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
1:40 pm
Leggs, I heard that story. Crazy!!
Exiled!
November 28th, 2012
1:40 pm
I’m gon see a lawyer and accountant and split my lotto in half,one half to Queen and kids and the rest to me.
Then we divorce!
She ain’t gon pout,I know that.
For me,I gotta take my loot to some exotic locale somewhere in a Tropical island(s)
Can’t enjoy this unless I got some topless Brazilian gals hovering and nibbling with me.
If I get broke,which is unlikely,the kids will implore Queen to take me back.
She is my insurance.
Leggs
November 28th, 2012
1:41 pm
Leggs
November 28th, 2012
1:44 pm
If I get broke, – Had to laugh….you will be so far up someone’s puddy, you will be robbed every time. Yous a sexual fiend and all that white stuff will be blinding you. Wait, you don’t do oral, but you’ll still be blinded because you will be a man ho! Said with love (lol).
Delvon
November 28th, 2012
1:45 pm
Work peeps trynna get er’body to go in together for the lottery. Don’t really like’em that much no way and def. don’t trust’em. Nawh, I’m good! Besides, they probably gon jinx the digits anyway.
Delvon
November 28th, 2012
1:48 pm
Enter your comments here
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
1:49 pm
Delvon – One chick I work with kinda got mad at me about the lotto this morning. She works with a different team and I heard them pooling their money and plotting. I walked by and told them I was not going in with anybody cause when I win I want ALL my money!LOL!! Errbody else laughed at me, but she seemed a little miffed and couldn’t “believe” I said that!!
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
1:51 pm
Kimmie, that’s what I told my co-workers to, I don’t like them well enough to share with them. (lol)
Delvon
November 28th, 2012
1:52 pm
Yep…they tripped a minute cause I did go in. Way I see it, it’s my money…my choice. Feel yah tho on that.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 28th, 2012
1:52 pm
Whew, finally back to my desk….so we’re now trying to figure out how to steal other people’s winning lotto tickets? The beau called me from the damn woods to make sure I played some numbers for him….aka US
Delvon
November 28th, 2012
1:55 pm
Folk up in here get it twisted. Just cuz we work together, does not make us friends, buddies or pals…we just work at the same place. Nawh, I’on wanna go to lunch wit yah, no I don’t wanna go out for drinks, I aint coming to yo house…we just work at the same place. I’m good got my own crew for social activities.
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
2:03 pm
Single – I was just laughing with one of my coworkers about how crazy I was when I was single about not getting tied up financially with a dude I’m just dating. I told her I actually had to think about putting my now hubs on my Costco membership so he could pick up some things for me when we were dating!
Delvon
November 28th, 2012
2:04 pm
Anybody tailgating for the game?
Leggs
November 28th, 2012
2:04 pm
Delvon, have you met disco (lol).
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
2:06 pm
Kimmie, so why is the one of the worse things you can say to a girlfriend is, it’s my money, can’t I do what I want to with it??
Hell we ain’t married, it is my money!!
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 28th, 2012
2:09 pm
I have a question about the lotto stuff…so if someone who might not be in a lottery state, asks you to get them a few tickets, and if they hit, is it really their ticket? Would you feel right about just giving them the ticket knowing that they won??? OR would you give it to them and just expect them the split it with you?
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
2:11 pm
things that make you go hmmmmm
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/2012/11/28/dallas-trucker-talks-about-time-mexican-prison/ykSX7PCTRgdUq8s2oMeltI/story.html
Delvon
November 28th, 2012
2:12 pm
Nawh!! Don’t know the guy.
Boy they on it today in dis piece. Been pulling dis gig for 2years now, I aint neva did they secret Santa BS or they Christmas luncheon, they ack like I have changed.
Leggs
November 28th, 2012
2:12 pm
Best way to do that is to immediately call them with their numbers. If they hit, they hit. Don’t expect them to split their winnings with you, but expect them to give you something. I would have said all this when I called with their numbers. Yo a$$ is breaking me off something, and I don’t mean a nominal fee.
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
2:13 pm
Slim, if they gave you the money for the ticket, why would you expect them to split with you? Would you feel right if you turned in the ticket? Would you split with them?
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
2:15 pm
If you asking me to buy you a ticket, you better be sending me some money right away!! No money, no ticket!! cause if it wins and I haven’t been paid, it’s my ticket!!
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
2:17 pm
Single – It wouldn’t have been the worst thing with me at all. A big part of my attitude about the whole thing is how I was raised. My parents stressed not taking much from people, especially men you are just dating beyond bday and Christmas gifts. If I had trouble paying a bill, a boyfriend would be the very last resort and even then it would depend on the amount. Otherwise I found a way to get the money on my own or my family would help. I don’t mind giving and always been very generous, but I’m no fool either. You keep your money(along with your debt) and I keep mine until we are legal.
I am very unusual, I know.
disco
November 28th, 2012
2:17 pm
hey y’all. I’se back. kimmie – re your friend and her dude’s hypothetical lottery situation I know a dude who wins from time to time. not millions but tens of thousands at a pop. one time $60k I know. anyway, he’s married and has a couple of baby momma’s. he puts his winnings in his mother’s name. once the streets got to talking about him winning and a baby momma had him in court trying to get her hands on the lottery money. no haps. she got nada.
also I have a male friend who plays the lottery faithfully. I asked him how many tickets he bought. he said 10. then had the nerve to ask me if I would marry him if he had the winning ticket. I replied sure, we can stop at the justice of the peace on the way to the lottery headquarters. lol. he then emailed back talking about why don’t I marry him anyway. ??? I’m not sure what’s up with that so I left it alone.
Delvon
November 28th, 2012
2:19 pm
I’d be decent about it. We can work something out about the winnings, if not…I’m cashing OUT, gon have a condo round neck .
Exiled!
November 28th, 2012
2:20 pm
I ain’t buying nobody a ticket coz I don’t want none of that after my luck hits. What I buy is mine and mines..
Coz money changes folks including me so …agh naw.
If u don’t live here or in a State with lotto..too bad,I ain’t helping u with that.
Besides it’s just greedy trying to get a lotto somewhere else coz ur state don’t have it.
We don’t have free healthcare here in GA and I ain’t going to Massachusetts when I get sick…just because.
So..
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
2:21 pm
Disco ole dude is crazy for letting people know he wins. Your business will not get out if you don’t tell it!!
MsAtl
November 28th, 2012
2:22 pm
My office has a lottery pool. Whoever collects the money to buy the tickets holds on to the tickets but everyone has a copy of the tickets. Whichever co-worker decides to sit out the drawing, we let them know that when we win we will hire a clown to follow them around for a month throwing crumpled dollar bills at them.
Kimmie- I’m feeling you on the Costco card thing. If they bounce a check, aren’t you responsible?
Exiled!
November 28th, 2012
2:23 pm
Slim…jes tell ur Alabama fo to stay in der lane!
disco
November 28th, 2012
2:23 pm
leggs – re that 2:04 to delvon. I was thinking the same thing. lol.
S/H – folks who are gambling buddies have systems in place. my peeps go into the bingo hall or the casino or wherever knowing that all winnings are to be split such and such way. folks better have the talk before and not after. I’m with you though if I bought “your” ticket with “my” money, it’s really “my” ticket unless I want to give it to you.
Delvon
November 28th, 2012
2:24 pm
If I win, me and the chief gon have a meeting first, so I can get clarity about my next move.
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
2:30 pm
MsAtl – Probably would be responsible. I didn’t think about check writing then, probably cause hubs almost never writes checks anyway, just cash, debit or his Amex. See, good thing for him, cause if I had considered the check writing thing, the answer would have been no!
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 28th, 2012
2:35 pm
SH – Like my mom called and asked me to get some tickets and gave me some numbers to play…but of course she didn’t mail me any money. So if i’m buying the ticket even though they are your numbers, sounds like the only fair thing to do is share the winnings. But if they are just QP’s then sounds like you’re assed out
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
2:42 pm
My crazy friend’s boyfriend is a generous guy. If he won, he would give her a nice chunk anyway, cause that’s the type of guy he is. Even if they broke up, unless she just did something horrible to him, he’d still have her & her daughter set. Its just no need for her to trip over the tecnnicalities of the situation when they are not married!
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
2:45 pm
There’s no need to trip, period! he hasn’t won anything.
disco
November 28th, 2012
2:46 pm
so what have the blog folks won? personally, I’m not very lucky and I’m not a big gambler to boot. I don’t enter many contests so needless to say I don’t often win things. I have won a few event tickets here and there and a few door prizes.
Exiled!
November 28th, 2012
2:49 pm
Disco..if i win..umm when I win u aint gon get none coz I don’t even know ur city.
Other blog folks that I got their email add?
Maybe a stack$$ each.
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
2:49 pm
There’s no need to trip, period! he hasn’t won anything
Single – BINGO!! LOL!! you are so right!!
kimmie
November 28th, 2012
2:50 pm
disco – I’d bet my money on Leggs! She’s always winning stuff!!
i'm swiss
November 28th, 2012
2:52 pm
Just to p!ss on everyone’s parade with some probability comparisons:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/03/30/15-things-more-likely-to-happen-than-winning-mega-millions.html
And, yes, I do have my (one) ticket for tonight, just in case…
disco
November 28th, 2012
2:53 pm
kimmie – I (we all) know leggs is lucky like that. I just wonder if anyone else ever won anything worth mentioning. no jackpots? no new cars? no year’s supply of krispy kreme? nothing? if leggs is the only person on the blog with any luck then we are a janky crew all around.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 28th, 2012
2:54 pm
jes tell ur Alabama fo to stay in der lane!
Ex – I’m not paying you any mind…how bout dat
Single and Happy Wonderful Wednesday
November 28th, 2012
2:56 pm
I won a stereo from Captain D’s