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Dating Dilemma: Didn’t meet the family?

Keith is trying to reassure the woman he is dating after he decided not to introduce her to his family at Thanksgiving. They are in a new relationship and things were not at the “meet the family” stage…according to him. She is seeing this as rejection and is now questioning everything and second guessing her feelings about him.

I feel for her, I really do, but she seems to be overreacting and over analyzing the situation. Shocking, right? So yeah, women are known to do this and it isn’t really fair. When Keith is actually being a good guy by taking things slow and not giving her false hope, she is letting insecurities show.

Would it bother you if the person you were dating has yet to introduce you to his inner circle of family/friends? I remember meeting families really early in relationships, but I didn’t think that was a sign of how much the guy liked me. Is meeting the family still viewed as a big deal like it was back in the day?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

208 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy Marvelous Monday

November 27th, 2012
6:52 am

Hello all

For me, meeting the family is just like meeting anyone else, don’t see the big deal in it!

Single and Happy Terrific Tuesday

November 27th, 2012
6:53 am

got to get my days right :-)

lee

November 27th, 2012
7:26 am

Good Morin,
I don’t see the big deal why she has to wait, is his family special–are they afraid of the common people walking around? If they are in a relationship she should of met someone!! So what is he afraid of? If they are out and about and his family is also in the same place, is he going to push her away and run because they are not “at that stage yet”.. honestly i don’t know what the big deal is. Grow-up. And she doesn’t need to get all up-set over it either–it might be a blessing she hasn’t met the family :)

Big Al

November 27th, 2012
8:19 am

Monday is always movie night with my gf. Last night she drug me to see the ‘Twilight’ movie. I think I was the only straight guy there. I love vampire movies, but sadly I didn’t see Bela Lugosi or Christopher Lee anywhere on the screen. I feel deprived.

disco

November 27th, 2012
9:05 am

good morning folks. I’m so not checking for the whole meet the peeps thing. if I do, I do. if I don’t, I don’t. I’m not in it for them anyway and I can assure you I’ll never be the chick bending over backwards trying to get someone’s mother/siblings/friends to like me. later for them. lol.

S/H – Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. lol.

Comon Cents

November 27th, 2012
9:17 am

I think that we don’t have enough information to make a decision regarding this situation. How long have they been together? Are they smashing? Does his family live in the same city and is he close to them? All of those things would be factors for me re: meeting the family.

With the hubs, I met his family when we were still friends, so it was a non-issue. I was actually better friends with my SILs than I was with him.

Big Al~ re: Twilight: You just earned a coochie coupon. IJS…

MsAtl

November 27th, 2012
9:24 am

Morning All!
I would also want to know how long they had been together. If they have been dating for two months, no big deal; however, if they have been dating for two years, then that is cause for concern.
S/H- Tuesday, Tuesday. Don’t take us back to Monday.

Celisea......refreshed!!!

November 27th, 2012
9:25 am

I think the guy in today’s post need to grow up. No such thing as “meet the parents” stage. Seriously. We’re all adults. I hate to lean on it but here I go again. If you can interact and call yourself in a relationship, if we’re intimate and doing things all together and stuff, THAT IS THE MEET THE PARENTS STAGE…IJs. This woman should get a clue.

Personally, I don’t see the hype and “having to wait” to meet the parents. I’m not on stage for anyone, not even my boo :mrgreen: Not in this regard. All of this reeks of “eons ago.” It’s like (seeing through this dude’s eyes), getting to the “meet the parents” stage translates: “You done good!!” Ummm, NOT!

How I see it now? It’s just an introduction. I’m not one either that’s sweating meeting folks and stuff but I’m offended if you feel the need to “wait and see.” If we’re interacting and your family (as well as mine) is apart of your life, it should be a given that I’m going to meet some folks. I ain’t sticking around to tapdance and if I do it good enough, THEEEEN I get the priviledge of meeting your innercircle. Nuh uh. That’s retarded. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re happy to bring me into the fold, for lack of a better term, so am I. But to hold off for whatever reason is whack.

If I was the lady in today’s post, I would be offended. Period…point blank. I would tell him too. I would also want to know what’s the issue??? If I’m apart of your life then I’m apart of it…all of it. Not “a part” but “apart”…IJS I would want to know “what are we waiting on??” While it’s not that deep if I do or don’t, because of his attitude on sensoring me, this would be a dealbreaker if he couldn’t hurry up and “splain” himself.

Comon Cents

November 27th, 2012
9:34 am

Off Topic~ Does anyone else feel like this week is dragging by?

disco

November 27th, 2012
9:35 am

lol. celisea – you said a mouthful. I’ve actually had guys tell me “I can’t wait for you to meet so and so” and in my mind I was thinking “to heck with so and so”. I made a choice to live away from my own family and I’m not overly pressed to jump into the middle of someone else’s. just not my thing. I think a lot of guys dangle that “meet the friends/family” in front of women like it’s a golden carrot stick. like meeting the family is the prize. it means you’re in there. I don’t get it. I can take them or leave them.

Comon Cents

November 27th, 2012
9:43 am

disco/C~ But don’t you think that if you’re going to be with someone in the long term you need to be able to associate with their friends/family and they with yours? Holidays, family reunions, christenings, etc. would be very awkward if none of the family could tolerate each other… IJS.

SlimNu: Life always happens

November 27th, 2012
9:43 am

Good morning,

I would say when it comes to dudes that meeting the family is sort of a big deal.

Celisea......refreshed!!!

November 27th, 2012
9:46 am

disco – I agree that it’s used like some kind of prize. Women actually feel it’s a sign…..lol Get on away from me with that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m cool meeting your folks, but don’t act like it’s the prize before the grand prize. There’s not been a one where I didn’t meet his folks/inner circle.

Celisea......refreshed!!!

November 27th, 2012
9:50 am

CC – My only issue is having to tapdance for getting the honor. We’re together? Then why not? What are we waiting on? If it’s a FWB thing, then no, but “relationship”, what more performing is there to be done? IJS

Leggs

November 27th, 2012
9:56 am

Dang Comon, it’s only Tuesday (lol).

Meet the family…if I’m good enough for you date and things are good with us, why can’t I meet your folk? Not asking for your hand in marriage, just meeting people who care about you. If we’re just meeting behind closed doors, then I understand!

Morning!

O/T: I had a dream about my neighbor (who I’m a little upset at) and a camel in my cul-de-sac. Any significance???

Celisea......refreshed!!!

November 27th, 2012
9:57 am

I’m still tryna get to work…..sigh

disco

November 27th, 2012
10:03 am

CC – like I said, i don’t even see my own family on the regular. have only seen my son, mother and niece this year and the year is about gone.

leggs –

To dream of having a good neighbor signifies enjoyment and tranquility at home. If you dream of an angry or unfriendly neighbor, then it signifies dissension and disappointment. There is a waking issue that you need to address with your neighbor. Alternatively, the dream could mean relocation from your home. Perhaps you are in need of a change of scenery.

To see a camel in your dream denotes that you need to be more conservative; you are carrying too many responsibilities, burdens and problems on your shoulders. Consider the common phrase, “the straw that broke the camel’s back”. You tend to hold on and cling on to your emotions instead of expressing and releasing them. Learn to forgive and forget. Alternatively, the camel represents your stamina.

To dream that you are petting a camel indicates that you are ready to let go of some of the burdens, responsibilities or emotional baggage that you are carrying around.

Comon Cents

November 27th, 2012
10:04 am

Leggs~
Camels
To see this beast of burden, signifies that you will entertain great patience and fortitude in time of almost unbearable anguish and failures that will seemingly sweep every vestige of hope from you.
To own a camel, is a sign that you will possess rich mining property.
To see a herd of camels on the desert, denotes assistance when all human aid seems at a low ebb, and of sickness from which you will arise, contrary to all expectations.

Neighbor
To see your neighbors in your dreams, denotes many profitable hours will be lost in useless strife and gossip. If they appear sad, or angry, it foretells dissensions and quarrels.

There was nothing for cul-de-sac, but for street:
Street
To dream that you are walking in a street, foretells ill luck and worries. You will almost despair of reaching the goal you have set up in your aspirations. To be in a familiar street in a distant city, and it appears dark, you will make a journey soon, which will not afford the profit or pleasure contemplated. If the street is brilliantly lighted, you will engage in pleasure, which will quickly pass, leaving no comfort.
To pass down a street and feel alarmed lest a thug attack you, denotes that you are venturing upon dangerous ground in advancing your pleasure or business

SlimNu: Life always happens

November 27th, 2012
10:06 am

Early on in a relationship or courtship, I don’t expect to have you trotting me all around your family. I may not want to meet them before I know I want more with you anyway. lol It was a while before I met the beau’s family but that’s mostly due to the fact that they live in Miami…long way from here.

czBrat ♀

November 27th, 2012
10:09 am

good day, good people.

Single and Happy Terrific Tuesday

November 27th, 2012
10:15 am

Disco, we must have been sent down at the same time :-D because I could care less if the family likes me, it’s how my s/o feels about me that matters.

MsAtl, I’d rather go back in time than forward :-D Not trying to rush my life away :-D

Comon, on the week dragging by, it’s all in your mind!

czBrat ♀

November 27th, 2012
10:15 am

i’m in no hurry to meet your people but if i feel like you don’t WANT me to meet them, then we have a prob.

yay! we have dream interpreters on the blog. too bad i never remember mine.

Leggs

November 27th, 2012
10:18 am

disco ~ this is the neighbor that moved out because her live-in boyfriend told her he doesn’t ever want to marry her or anyone else. My dissension with her is her rudeness over Thanksgiving and not informing me of her plans like she said she would. Nothing major. I was surprised she popped in my dreams and I remembered it. But, how can someone forget about dreaming about a camel.

Thanks for the interpretations. disco ~ I like your 2nd para. Comon ~ your 1st para speaks as well.

disco

November 27th, 2012
10:25 am

S/H – CC is not imagining things, it is not all in her mind. I totally agree that this week is taking it’s time to get by. you’d think I was waiting on the first of the month. lol.

Leggs

November 27th, 2012
10:26 am

I’m with you, SlimNu. Don’t need to meet early on in the relationship, but as our relationship develops and I see that you spend quite a bit of time with your family and I’m never invited, then like czB stated, Houston, We Have a Problem!

Celisea......refreshed!!!

November 27th, 2012
10:28 am

Exactly……no rush, no biggie…..until you don’t want me to..

SlimNu: Life always happens

November 27th, 2012
10:29 am

Leggs – So according their interpretations, does anything ring true for you regarding your dreams…outside of the obvious one about the neighbor?

Sassy Me...Exhaling ;-)

November 27th, 2012
10:30 am

i’m in no hurry to meet your people but if i feel like you don’t WANT me to meet them, then we have a prob.

Cosign…

Lady~sunshine

November 27th, 2012
10:31 am

Morning! C great initial post sis!!!!!1 ok let me catch up some more! ;)

Waving @ MIA! :)

Leggs

November 27th, 2012
10:33 am

SlimNu ~ quite a bit rings true. Like I said, disco’s 2nd para and Comon’s 1st.

Celisea......refreshed!!!

November 27th, 2012
10:34 am

Heeeeeeeey Lady!!! Thanks!!! What’s crackalackin?!? How was the holiday?

Jake-SPJTWB

November 27th, 2012
10:34 am

Hey Ladies and Gents: and Dream Interpreters

Meeting the Parents/Family is a Significant Step, especially if this is a younger man, never married, and whatnot:

I come from one of those Old School, tight knit, faithful families. I was brought up indirectly to not bring any woman around my family that I did not have intnentions on maintaining a relationship with. As I stated, no one ever said don’t do it, but you know. Once a woman meets your mother, the dynamics of your relationship will change, there will be an additional pressure to love or leave her depending on Mama’s feel for the lady. Of course what you think is the only thing that really matters, but if you are ready for people to be in the peripheral vision of your relationship, don’t introduce yet.

Be back in a minute

Jake-SPJTWB

November 27th, 2012
10:35 am

aren’t ready

Lady~sunshine

November 27th, 2012
10:39 am

My holiday was awesome! A success~ Thanks for asking! How was yours beyond refreshing! It was so refreshing getting away and being among his family now mine :)

Yup Jake great post! I was part of cooking dinner and made some key dishes and it was a success! I received some warm messages that made me cry! Genuine old school folks rock!

Yes I am happy! ;)

disco

November 27th, 2012
10:39 am

hey jake – I get your post but, in my opinion, it ties in with what I said earlier about guys dangling it in front of a chick like it’s a prize. there are a lot of women who feel like meeting the parents (friends/other family members) means she is “special”. maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. just saying, me, myself, personally – I’m not pressed. I know guys whose friends/family are in on the “game”. you know the guy who brings one chick by for the barbecue on Saturday and a different chick by for Sunday dinner.

Lady~sunshine

November 27th, 2012
10:41 am

Jake I taking meeting a mother more seriously than I did in college! it was special and she gave me a gift that was priceless along with something of value! Plus she gave me some pointers about her son that I value!

Comon Cents

November 27th, 2012
10:41 am

disco~ Glad to know it’s not all in my head! Whew! (Consciously ignoring S/H right now…)

Leggs~ While I’m glad you appreciate the interpretation, not my words. It’s from a website I use to interpret my dreams and it has usually been pretty spot on.

Here you go: http://nickm.com/dreams/

Celisea......refreshed!!!

November 27th, 2012
10:43 am

Lad – Good for you!! Glad to know it went well :)

I had a FANTAB time. There were ten of us that went. Everybody got along really well. Everybody was cool in whatever place the group decided to venture. That was my first time visiting, can you believe it? I will definitely like to go again :) I wasn’t sure about going with such a nice sized group as some of them I knew but never spent time away with them. But, like I said overall it was great. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much. I was told Saturday night I had the “night giggles.” It was all good :mrgreen:

Leggs

November 27th, 2012
10:45 am

Jake ~ mail call.

disco

November 27th, 2012
10:47 am

CC – I use dreammoods.com. lol. I also have dream books at home.

Lady~sunshine

November 27th, 2012
10:47 am

night giggles are funny! Likewise sis! Glad it was a success and thank you too! >3

Lady~sunshine

November 27th, 2012
10:48 am

I am listening to The OJays I can hardly wait for Christmas~

Comon Cents

November 27th, 2012
10:54 am

disco~ I have checked out dreamoods as well. They also do a great job of interpretation.

Lady~sunshine

November 27th, 2012
10:55 am

This week is beyond dragging and yesterday was a tough one. lol 18 more days!

Leggs

November 27th, 2012
10:57 am

Comon ~ I didn’t think they were your words. Thanks.

Single and Happy Terrific Tuesday

November 27th, 2012
10:57 am

Disco, Comon, time is the same regardless of where you are! 60 seconds is 60 seconds, mind over mater! Discovered this while laying on the beach working on my tan, was thinking man time sure is flying by! then thought time isn’t going by any faster here than it would be if I was at work! seems like the clock stopped then, now all days are the same!

Lady, January’s snow,
February’s slow

Celisea......refreshed!!!

November 27th, 2012
10:58 am

Lady – 18 more days until what? You heading out or something?

I’m on vacation soon!!! What ever am I going to do with myself and all that time?? LOL I’m sure I’ll think of something.

czBrat ♀

November 27th, 2012
10:59 am

celisea, i missed it. what did you do for the holiday?

slim, talk about “trotting” somebody around. got so damn tired of my mum showing me off to everybody. finally sat down, arms folded, pouting, told her “i don’t wanna meet nobody else!” :lol:
ah, holiday! LOL

Lady~sunshine

November 27th, 2012
11:00 am

Just will be off for 2 1/2 weeks Christmas and NYE here plans set…………so painting the city mainly C

Sang SH lol~

Celisea......refreshed!!!

November 27th, 2012
11:01 am

czBrat – I went to Savannah! That was my first time going!

How was Panama? How did your S/O do with meeting the fam?