Dating Dilemma: Didn’t meet the family?
Keith is trying to reassure the woman he is dating after he decided not to introduce her to his family at Thanksgiving. They are in a new relationship and things were not at the “meet the family” stage…according to him. She is seeing this as rejection and is now questioning everything and second guessing her feelings about him.
I feel for her, I really do, but she seems to be overreacting and over analyzing the situation. Shocking, right? So yeah, women are known to do this and it isn’t really fair. When Keith is actually being a good guy by taking things slow and not giving her false hope, she is letting insecurities show.
Would it bother you if the person you were dating has yet to introduce you to his inner circle of family/friends? I remember meeting families really early in relationships, but I didn’t think that was a sign of how much the guy liked me. Is meeting the family still viewed as a big deal like it was back in the day?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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208 comments Add your comment
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
1:05 pm
disco – Exactly. Back when I came up, it was unheard of not having sibs or a gang of “kinfolks.” As little as we had growing up, there’s nothing like a house full of kids and stuff to do/going on all the time. It was a really warm environment growing up. Not having a bunch of kinfolks was unheard of back in the day.
My kid has a half sister, who is mixed. They’ve never really spent time together though. She’s six years older than her. Too, I have a gang of sibs myself so there are many many cousins around my kid. His folks had a ton of kids/cousins so she’s got it on his side as well, but again, she don’t hang with those crazy people…lol
I think big families (except for a few folks on reality tv), are a thing of yesteryear. We’ll see some here and there, but I think 5 or 6 kids nowadays are considered a lot. That’s probably the max for families considered “big”, in today’s times.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 27th, 2012
1:06 pm
Leggs – Yeah pretty much. He was telling me last night he just doesnt know who she is going to be day to day.
To see murder committed in your dreams, foretells much sorrow arising from the misdeeds of others
CC – That’s is right there….sister all day errrday
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 27th, 2012
1:08 pm
I work with at least 3 only child people and they say they all wish they had a sibling growing up.
Leggs
November 27th, 2012
1:10 pm
Celisea ~ I never really wanted her to grow up w/o a sibling, but I knew financially and physically I couldn’t birth another child. She never wanted another sibling, but I often wonder about the burden I may have placed on my only child when I grow old and weary. It would be nice if she had some one to bounce her struggles off other than close friends. But, we all know sometimes those close friends are closer than family members and I hope this to be the case with her.
Comon Cents
November 27th, 2012
1:12 pm
Leggs~ I was going to say the same re being able to share the burden. I have no disillusionments about my sibling and I know it will be my hubs and I who bear the burden of making arrangements for my folks as they get old (his parents are already deceased).
Lady~sunshine
November 27th, 2012
1:16 pm
leggs my baby shares your 1:10pm and me too lil mama is cool! lol
Mrs. SexyCool
November 27th, 2012
1:16 pm
Sounds like o’girl thinks that the reason he didn’t take her to meet his family is because he took someone else.
(I’m sure someone has already pointed that out.)
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
1:17 pm
Leggs – I may have placed on my only child when I grow old and weary.
Yes, yes. These are all the things that come into play at some point, if your parents are blessed with long life. Taking care of them is definitely no joke and done much better with others being able to pitch in and share the load. We didn’t do the “old folks home” for my mama. She lives with my sister. It’s a lot of work and it’s expensive. But hey, somebody’s got to do it.
My kid use to say she wish she had another sister….NOT!!
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
1:27 pm
Back on topic: I’m just wondering….sooooo, what did Keith do with his girl while he was having Thanksgiving with the fam? Did she sit it out at home alone or at her folks’ place? Just wondering.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
1:27 pm
And how did she explain to her fam, if that’s where she went…..what happened to Keith??
Comon Cents
November 27th, 2012
1:28 pm
(I’m sure someone has already pointed that out.)
Actually, no. But that is a very astute observation. I didn’t think of that until you said it. That could be part of the problem.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 27th, 2012
1:29 pm
I always wanted an older brother so I would access to his cute friends
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
1:30 pm
CC – disco pointed it out earlier. I didn’t think of it until she said it. Shenanigans (possibly) I tell ya! I’ve witnessed it myself with my brothers. They’re messing around with certain girls and each one thinking “she’s it”, only to see that certain someone always brought over for holidays.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
1:31 pm
Yet he’s/they’re (my brothers) are spending oddles and oddles of time hanging with the rachet ones…lol And the nice little holiday prize girl was calling on Fridays asking to speak with so and so.
Leggs
November 27th, 2012
1:32 pm
I always wanted an older brother so I would access to his cute friends – All I heard was Ex in my head!
Single and Happy Terrific Tuesday
November 27th, 2012
1:41 pm
slim, brothers don’t like their friends messing with their little sister, that’s against the bro code!
Comon Cents
November 27th, 2012
1:49 pm
S/H~ Ain’t that the truth! My brother almost had an aneurism when he thought I was going to date one of his friends!
Comon Cents
November 27th, 2012
1:51 pm
C~ You just made me think of the “nice” girl my brother dated all through high school. When we moved to GA, she came down from CT for a visit (my bro was about to graduate) and she basically gave him the ulimatum to marry her or move on. Yeah… that didn;t work out so well for her.
If one is giving ultimatums, you should be damned sure that the person is going to go the way you want them to go.
disco
November 27th, 2012
2:16 pm
slim – I always wanted an older brother so I could threaten folks with “I’m going to tell my brother”. the threat wasn’t as effective with younger brothers. lol.
Mrs. SexyCool
November 27th, 2012
2:17 pm
What I would be interested in knowing is how slow Keith is taking things? Is it so slow that they are not sleeping together? Are they just sleeping together but haven’t had ‘the talk’?
What is it that Keith is telling her that gave her the idea that she should be invited to meet his family?
Or…is she psycho, insecure and/or projecting something onto the situation that isn’t there?
Either way, it sounds like they are on different pages when it comes to this relationship.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:20 pm
CC – Gotta be careful making demands. Shoot, Keith might find out later she spent the holidays with a new boo, while he’s trying to regulate stuff….lololol
Single and Happy Terrific Tuesday
November 27th, 2012
2:21 pm
Disco, the threat worked for them I’ll bet (I’m gone tell my big sister) LOL
Comon Cents
November 27th, 2012
2:24 pm
I always wanted an older brother so I could threaten folks with “I’m going to tell my brother”.
Did you ever need to?!? I imagine a 10 year old disco whipping some azz on the playground… IJS
Comon Cents
November 27th, 2012
2:25 pm
C~ Too true! Now, that would be hilarious! He trying to bob and weave and she done KIM…
disco
November 27th, 2012
2:26 pm
S/H – so true. it did work out in their favor. I had one fight way back in junior high. my younger brother got into with another boy. the other boy was a couple of years younger and that boy’s sister had the nerve to tell me that I better tell my brother to leave her brother alone. it didn’t take much.
disco
November 27th, 2012
2:28 pm
CC – I had a lot of cousins but I still always wanted to be able to threaten folks with “my big brother”. I just like the sound of it.
MsAtl
November 27th, 2012
2:29 pm
Disco- If we were kids, I would give you my older brothers. I had five older brothers and they were protective, but I also got the beatdown just because I was the little sister. As an adult, its not bad at all having older brothers.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:29 pm
CC – Okay…that would be funny as heck. He’s trying to keep her all regulated and stuff and on his clock and she’s over with another family get her eat/relationship on.
kimmie
November 27th, 2012
2:30 pm
Hey Mrs Cool!!
Funny you mentioned that “took someone else” possibility. I found out that was the case with one of my old bf’s who was hemming and hawing about bringing me around the family. Come to find out he had a rotation and they never knew WHO he might bring to Sunday dinner!! A cousin of mine that knew his family gave me the head’s up. He said there were even a few incidents of chicks coming over and catching another chick there and fights! Needless to say after that I was no longer interested in him or his family!!
Celisea – Good point too. Heck, new boo might have no problem bringing her around his fam!!
Comon Cents
November 27th, 2012
2:31 pm
disco~! If you had an older brother, I can only imagine that he would have been a brawler…
IJS
Mrs. SexyCool
November 27th, 2012
2:31 pm
Hey mrs. kimmie!
Lady~sunshine
November 27th, 2012
2:34 pm
Alrighty C! observing ha!
lawd this weather has me beyond sleepy! #yawn
good reads today check y’all later! peace!
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:34 pm
MsAtl – I’m your 2:29 all day long. Not only did I have 4 big brothers, I had male cousins at the same school. I remember the time a dude snatched my clarinet (in the case) and took off running. Before I even realized what’d just happened, there was my brother, and two cousins flying past me
By the same token, not only was I beat up a lot by my brothers, I was told on all the dang time. Still all with much love. They were VERY protective until my sisters and I seemed to be getting off on the good foot. 
Kimmie – Gotta be careful tryna keep folks boxed in and on your scheduled. They just might have a clock and a schedule as well…lololol
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:35 pm
Lady – Okaaaaay! See ya hon
disco
November 27th, 2012
2:37 pm
CC – one would hope so. it would suck to end up with an older brother who was a punk. I have a friend who was a straight up bully in the streets coming up. like a neighborhood deboe. I always imagined what it would be like with a big brother like that. lol.
ms. atl – I would have gladly taken the occasional big brother beatdown in exchange for them snapping a few collars for me.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:39 pm
I bet there’s a “Peanut” in every family. We had one too. Crazy as crazy will EVER be. No holds barred, didn’t care about no rules, fought for you first and asked later…just jumped in and started throwing blows…lol Sadly, “Peanut” and ‘nem, always seems to have a tumultuous life after high school. They never seem to come to realize that you can’t do that kind of stuff in the real world. He was good backup though, when needed.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 27th, 2012
2:39 pm
brothers don’t like their friends messing with their little sister, that’s against the bro code
SH – It may be code but you cannot say it doesn’t happen.
Leggs – I’m surprised Ex didn’t pop out from behind a bush on that note.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:42 pm
Kimmie – I will say thing, folks moving stuff around and getting new boos, usually works out for the best for all parties involved. If Keith ain’t ready and he’s moving slow, then he might get the door for her if she’s too anxious….for him While she’s happy happy happy that she moved it along with a dude that found more value in here that apparently Keith missed
Leggs
November 27th, 2012
2:42 pm
Won the corn toss competition in Auditorium. Between now and December, we will play lots of games.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:43 pm
her not here
So, to my 2:42…it could still be a win win!!!
disco
November 27th, 2012
2:43 pm
since y’all brought up peanut and ‘nem. I have a cousin peanut. once we were having a group fight. me, two female cousins, an aunt and one male cousin (the original clown that got jumped) were fighting these guys. someone went and got my cousin peanut (male) during the fight. he showed up and just started dropping fools. that’s one of our good “remember that time” stories.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:44 pm
disco – Sounds like we have the same “Peanut” in our families. Wonder if “Peanut” is cloned…lololol All of them seem to be the fool.
Single and Happy Terrific Tuesday
November 27th, 2012
2:47 pm
Disco and Deboe, man would hate to live in that neighbor hood
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:48 pm
Peanut was older than me, but because he always messed around and did nothing (too much), we ended up in an economics class together. He was two years older. Even then, in that class, the teacher, who was ghey, always seemed ahem “agitated” by Peanut and felt the need to chase him a lot, or call on him or just always at him for some reason or another. That in turn kept Peanut cutting class or literally dodging the teacher even touching while class was in session. I remember once he was after him and Peanut started stepping on chairs and desks to get away from him.
That teacher eventually died of AIDS…so the rumor was.
Leggs
November 27th, 2012
2:49 pm
Ex must be detained doing something he doesn’t want to do.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
2:50 pm
He would always say “Aye man, don’t touch me”
Comon Cents
November 27th, 2012
2:59 pm
I too, had a Peanut in my family. And he too, was a fool. Excellent point about life after high school though. Our Peanut is currently doing a dime for drug dealing.
Leggs
November 27th, 2012
3:00 pm
If there’s a Peanut in my family, probably lived in Gary Indiana with the other kinfolk I don’t know too much about.
disco
November 27th, 2012
3:09 pm
we still on peanut? well our peanut isn’t a fool per se. lol. he’s actually a real cool, laid back type individual. he’s mellow, not hyped. even in the fight I mentioned earlier he was just smooth with it. now, as for his post-high school pursuits – lol – he ain’t doing much but he ain’t locked up. according to my son, not being locked up is half the battle.
Celisea......refreshed!!!
November 27th, 2012
3:14 pm
Well, my peanut ain’t locked up but that’s just location…IMO of course. He’s always been keen on looking good, staying fit and smelling good. He didn’t fair so well in the staying faithful/married category. Nor did he fair too well in raising his kids. Bluntly, he raised none of them, but always looked good, stayed fit and smelled good. Last time I saw him, he came to a funeral with his new infant son. Say about a year oldish. Even he said to my brother, mayne I’m too old for this :shocked: