Casual dating vs Committed Relationship?
Before you go on a holiday dating spree, perhaps it is worthwhile to figure out what your short-term and long-term goals are. When you approach your dating life, having some sense of what you truly want is a good way to get the results that you want. I know what, you’re saying..that’s a no-brainer, Diva! Well, you would be surprised at the number of single people walking around with nary a clue of what they want.
Generally, you meet people who either want to keep things casual or those who want to ultimately move towards a committed relationship. The casual dating folks will say things like, “I just want to kick-it with somebody cool, and see where things go” Or one of my favorites: “I like just going with the flow.” Keep in mind, these are the same people that will try to have sex with no strings attached.
People who want committed relationships are fine with taking things slow. They feel comfortable with the idea of making room in their lives for somebody special. They don’t stress about giving up freedom or allowing someone to them for who they are.
I believe that casual dating has it’s place and those who want it should clearly state that intention upfront. There is nothing wrong with casual dating if that is what you want. The trick is figuring out when you should be casually dating people and when you are ready to build a relationship with someone.
How do you know when to keep it light, fun and easy with casual dating? When do you know that it is time to take it to another level?
What do you do when you are ready to leave casual and go committed? If the person/people you are seeing don’t want the same thing, what do you do?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating
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410 comments Add your comment
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
12:55 pm
ITL..what are u doing for ThanksG….u vising ur peeps and planning to cook…..
whatchu all cook,other than the turkey…..
And Swiss..is it u cooking?..dont tell me u gon drag Ms Swissie with her pouchy belly to do the catering?
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
1:09 pm
Ex-Slow down Cowboy…I mentioned that I would be going last week, and I am giving an entertainment report, close your eyes for sec if you don’t like, Got Dayum FUN POLICE!!
As I was saying before being harrassed by Exiled:
Here is the Skinny:
The Happy Hour begins at 6PM, they have about 6 drinks specials at $5 along with a complimentary buffet, for your musical pleasure, its a neo-soul/r&b mix at a conversational level until about 8ish/8:30pm, which is the time that the live performance begins with an ecletic mix soul/hip-hop and the venue begins to fill dramatically. At the end of the performance, a DJ takes over until closing.
The Crowd is a Professional/Afterwork crowd, I give the age range from 25-50, there is some butt shaking, but since when was butt shaking not part of a good night out. The place does not have a traditional dance floor, so its really just good people and good times, you can make it a meet market, dance a bit, or just watch…If you are not into the full tilt club experience, you always have the option to leave when the DJ gets going, and you didn’t pay for it….I had a blast in the joint!!
This week: El Debarge is the live entertainment.
Single and Happy
November 20th, 2012
1:13 pm
Jake, where is it located?
Into the Light
November 20th, 2012
1:15 pm
@Ex: I’m going to visit family. We’re having fried turkey…my favorite!
@Slim: I shoulda called House of Chan for takeout, but I thought PE would be quicker. Probably was, but quicker is not better. Pooh.
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
1:16 pm
Off Topic~
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/11/20/elmo-actor-kevin-clash-resigns-amid-sex-allegation/
So, I guess they’ll be releasing “Just Say No” Elmo in time for Christmas?
i'm swiss
November 20th, 2012
1:22 pm
Me.lo, Slim, ITL — Thanks, peeps.
Me.lo — Yup, yours truly is doing all the cooking this year. Actually, I do a lot of the cooking anyway, preggers or no preggers. I’m also cooking my own b-day dinner tonight — just picked up some dry-aged steaks to throw on the grill…
OMG, is Cherry in full bloom? We may need some fire hoses to ward off some of the blog wolves….
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
1:22 pm
Jake~ What night is El Debarge there? I would definitely go and check that out!
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 20th, 2012
1:24 pm
No mo Tickle Me Elmo either CC
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
1:26 pm
Been to company Thanksgiving luncheon with our Board Members.
Ex ~ I packed my silver bullet up when I packed up my house after my divorce and placed it on the market. I have no idea where that box is in the back of my garage. I know you find that hard to believe, but haven’t used one in a good 5 yrs.
I too like Cherry Blossum. Cherry, you do know it’s now hip to change that “o” to a “u.” You know like Jermaine Jackson to Jermaine Jacksun. Sorry, bad example!!
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
1:27 pm
Peachtree and 10th, near the new Loews Hotel. It shares a building with Club Reign, but Vanquish is a Lounge….Check out if you get a chance.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 20th, 2012
1:28 pm
I wonder if Teddy Ruxpin ever got caught up in some ish?
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
1:30 pm
Comon-He is there this Friday
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
1:31 pm
If he shows up, Jake!
i'm swiss
November 20th, 2012
1:31 pm
Slim — Teddy Ruxpin enjoyed wearing women’s lingerie. That’s why he’s called “Teddy.”
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
1:33 pm
Slim~ That actually made me
Did they ever reveal who the voice of Teddy Ruxpin was?
BTW, you just took me back. I remember listening to my Guns n Roses cassette in my Teddy Ruxpin when I was in high school.
Bluzgirl
November 20th, 2012
1:34 pm
ITL – I’ve always wanted to try a fried turkey!
Mom doesn’t want to do a turkey this year, so she’s trying a chicken/stuffing casserole. Works for me. As long as she makes my broccoli rice casserole, I’m good with anything else!
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
1:36 pm
I’m getting a fried turkey from Copelands. I haven’t baked a turkey in years. Not only that, really don’t want a turkey….too much bird for 3-4 people.
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
1:37 pm
Ok Jake..see…u gave a report…which is good.
U know these days I dont want to crawl into a place with my creaky azz and the youngins are looking,whaaeet,
coz an ol G has strayed.
Since the week end is long ima try it.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 20th, 2012
1:39 pm
I have no idea who’s voice TR had….
swiss – you’re crazy…
CC – So your Teddy’s mouth was moving real slow while Gun n Roses was blairing from the speaker?
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
1:44 pm
Leggs~ I thought he had kicked his drug habit. (If that’s what you’re referring to)
Into the Light
November 20th, 2012
1:44 pm
@Bluz: It’s really good. He injects it with a cajun-flavored marinade before he fries it. It is DELICIOUS!
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
1:44 pm
Slim~ You got it! And on the days when we had smoked some trees, that was just fabulous.
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
1:45 pm
“U know these days I dont want to crawl into a place with my creaky azz and the youngins are looking,whaaeet, coz an ol G has strayed.”
What, Ex, you don’t want someone looking at you the way you looked at the women sitting around the bar at Hairston’s? That’s rich!!!!!!!
Cherry Blossom
November 20th, 2012
1:55 pm
Thanks, Single and Happy
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 20th, 2012
1:55 pm
And on the days when we had smoked some trees, that was just fabulous.
You going down for that one…
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
1:56 pm
That’s what I’m referring to Comon. He has relapsed and has cancelled. He was supposed to show up to a concert I attended and cancelled. Don’t remember the reason, but I think he will forever struggle.
MsAtl
November 20th, 2012
1:57 pm
Bluz- Fried turkey is good!
Cracking up over Teddy Ruxpin getting caught up in some ish.
kimmie
November 20th, 2012
1:59 pm
We’ll probably be going to relatives for T-day, but I am doing a ham, some greens and some mac & cheese to have at the house since we won’t have any leftovers to eat on. Although if hubs does not get over this virus he has by then, we’ll stay at home.
Oh, and I’m putting together my famous Cuban Black Bean and Smoked Turkey soup! I have not made it in years, but usually when I do I make enough to give to a few family members.
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
2:00 pm
Leggs~ That is sad. I thought he had finally gotten it together.
kimmie
November 20th, 2012
2:01 pm
Fried turkey is the bomb-diggity! Hubs brother and my younger brother can both hook up some good ones.
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
2:01 pm
kimmie~ That sounds delish! You wanna forward that recipe?
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
2:01 pm
That soup sounds good, kimmie.
My ex and lil leggs are both stricken with something. I hope I don’t get sick.
kimmie
November 20th, 2012
2:03 pm
That breaks my heart about El. I love the whole Debarge body of work, dating back to the Switch days. I have a Debarge greatest hits cd I play in my car all the time.
Leggs/Comon – Did you guys ever see the Unsung on Debarge?
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
2:05 pm
Ex-No doubt, trust me, I wouldn’t have brought it up if it wasn’t Grown & Sexy
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
2:05 pm
kimmie~ I did not see that. I will have to see if I can find it on demand
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 20th, 2012
2:12 pm
My ex and lil leggs are both stricken with something. I hope I don’t get sick
It seems like everyone is getting something here at the job. I went out and bought clorox wipes and stuff to hopefully keep me from getting it too.
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
2:13 pm
kimmie ~ I saw it. The entire family is plagued by drugs. I felt, nor feel sorry for Bunny. She carried a lot of stress, they all did. So much potential down the drains. When El made his return at the soul train music awards, it was great seeing him and amazing that his vocal chords were still in tact. That was a miracle. Even Uncle Charlie tried to school him. Apparently, his “Constitution” isn’t as strong as his will to get to the drugs.
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 20th, 2012
2:14 pm
Did you guys ever see the Unsung on Debarge?
I saw that…they were sexually/physically abused as children and just never recovered. It’s like the whole brood has some sort of issue going on and it’s sad cause they’re so talented..even their children can sing. Ryan Cameron is/was having a party for all of Sags and El was supposed to perform. He and James were on the his show(via phone) about a week or two ago and he put El on the spot to sang and dude tore it up.
Dani
November 20th, 2012
2:16 pm
Jake- Been to Vanquish once during FAMU/SU weekend. My friend and I had a great time. It is a nice spot! I may have to go this Friday. I saw EL live at Essence in 2011 when he made the come back. His voice was still perfect. I hope he shows up also.
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
2:17 pm
Jake ~ I googled the establishment last week and googled directions. At some point, I will attend.
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
2:18 pm
That’s right, Sassy. They were just as troubled at The Jackson 5.
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
2:18 pm
Ok pray for me folks.
Going to Ohare now ….in the A in a bit!
kimmie
November 20th, 2012
2:23 pm
Safe travels, Exiled, and everyone that has to travel during the holidays.
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 20th, 2012
2:25 pm
They were just as troubled at The Jackson 5.
Nah J-5 ain’t got nuthin on DeBarge. On their episode of Unsung Baby Face was saying that you didn’t mess with them…ANY of them cause they were hood. He said when they would all tour together NObody messed with them b/c they knew what time it was.
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
2:28 pm
That may be true, SassyMe. The level of being troubled probably cannot be weighed. Can only look at both families. Most of the Debarge clan is still struggling, MJ is gone, Tito probably the only sane one, Janet, pretty cool, LaTonya obsessed with her looks and a small framed body, Jermanine’s brain stopped growing and taking in info due to all the tar in his hair just to name a few. Dysfunction is dysfunction.
kimmie
November 20th, 2012
2:29 pm
Comon – I got the recipe for that soup from an old Southern Living Annual cookbook of my moms, dating back to 89/90. It is packed up in storage when I moved last year and I don’t feel like digging going to dig for it. So I will be going off of memory.
After you soak the beans to soften, you cook them in a chicken broth with chopped onion, a bay leaf, thyme, celery, pepper and some dry sherry. You take some of the beans out and puree them and then add them back to the soup to thicken. You then add chopped smoked turkey or ham and that’s it. Some people top it with sour cream or add chopped chiles. I put a little rice in the bottom of the bowl when I serve it sometimes.
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
2:30 pm
Dani-thanks for the assist, just trying to throw some options out.
Atlanta is wonderful place to live and be entertained if you choose to visit a place or two, but El Debarge is not coming to your living room to do a private show!!
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
2:33 pm
Unlees you got a big bowl of Bougar Sugar
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
2:33 pm
Jake~ Apparently, he won’t be coming to Vanquish to do a show either.
I kid, Ikid…
kimmie~ I will have to try that and see how it turns out. Sounds yummy!
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
2:35 pm
Or maybe he will come to my home for a private show if I have some crack!