Casual dating vs Committed Relationship?
Before you go on a holiday dating spree, perhaps it is worthwhile to figure out what your short-term and long-term goals are. When you approach your dating life, having some sense of what you truly want is a good way to get the results that you want. I know what, you’re saying..that’s a no-brainer, Diva! Well, you would be surprised at the number of single people walking around with nary a clue of what they want.
Generally, you meet people who either want to keep things casual or those who want to ultimately move towards a committed relationship. The casual dating folks will say things like, “I just want to kick-it with somebody cool, and see where things go” Or one of my favorites: “I like just going with the flow.” Keep in mind, these are the same people that will try to have sex with no strings attached.
People who want committed relationships are fine with taking things slow. They feel comfortable with the idea of making room in their lives for somebody special. They don’t stress about giving up freedom or allowing someone to them for who they are.
I believe that casual dating has it’s place and those who want it should clearly state that intention upfront. There is nothing wrong with casual dating if that is what you want. The trick is figuring out when you should be casually dating people and when you are ready to build a relationship with someone.
How do you know when to keep it light, fun and easy with casual dating? When do you know that it is time to take it to another level?
What do you do when you are ready to leave casual and go committed? If the person/people you are seeing don’t want the same thing, what do you do?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating
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410 comments Add your comment
Bluzgirl
November 20th, 2012
11:17 am
swiss – I wouldn’t have it any other way! I’m close to the cusp, so I have a little Scorpio and a lot Sag in me…
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:18 am
SlimNu ~ I was thinking the same because I remember how excited her mother was about the army man or army doctor or military something or another (lol). They were looking at wedding books together.
Bluzgirl
November 20th, 2012
11:19 am
Leggs – It was Dr. Britt that mom was excited about. Army guy was the one night stand! Let’s keep it straight. LOL!!! Mom wants me to be with a good man and settle down already! She also likes the Young One, but she’s right there with me with taking it slow and getting to know him better before jumping in…
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
11:20 am
Kimmie..u so late..what was the discussion bout…lawyers,accountant,grabage collector..if ua good hubby,u good hubby,never mind ur profession..that was the import of my discourse.
Oh,Happy birfday Swiss..ur birfdate and ur kid’s will be real close.ha.
Hows the prego coming along….
And hello and welcome to Cherrie..did i spell that correct?
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:22 am
and a lot Sag in me…
I don’t know about that one Bluz. We Sags are shoot from the hip type of people, don’t tend to sugarcoat too much for the benefit of the other person, but won’t purposely go out to hurt someone (unless they deserve it). I only know of two quiet Sags and you might now be the 3rd.
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:24 am
Bluz ~ darling I am so trying to keep it all straight. Thanks for clarifying. Dr Britt, Army guy….all nuts!
Dani
November 20th, 2012
11:25 am
I will cosign on that about the Sag. I have been told I have a way with words and I need to work on my delivery.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 20th, 2012
11:26 am
swiss – The CT will be whistling the birthday song to you later on
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
11:28 am
How old are u Bluz?
kimmie
November 20th, 2012
11:28 am
Exiled – Made my point to your stank post, that’s all!
Bluz – Don’t force yourself to be with someone you’re not feeling. He’s the type of dude you “should” be with? That’s the kiss of death!!
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:28 am
Dani ~ I’ve been told that my entire life. I’ve gotten better over the past few decades, but man o man, I was hell on wheels (lol). When’s your bday?
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:29 am
Ex ~ yonger guy is 4 years older than she and he’s 29. Pull out the calculator if you need to (lololol).
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:29 am
4 years younger than she…nothing like being sarcastic and messing up the delivery (lol).
Bluzgirl
November 20th, 2012
11:30 am
LOL Leggs – you know I’m just teasing you…
Bluzgirl
November 20th, 2012
11:32 am
Ex – The Young One is 29…I’ll be 33 on Monday…4 years older…
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 20th, 2012
11:32 am
On topic: I tend to think most relationships started with “let’s see where things can go”…at least for me, historically that’s what it’s been. Yes, there’s the feel of casual only because we don’t know one another but I’m one not into spinning wheels just for the sake of. I’ve never jumped in all deep, day one. By the same token, I ask that if you’re in it for just “kicking” it, to let me know. I don’t EVER feel like I want to waste my your time and more importantly, mine. But, whatever floats your boat is what every individual should do. Some folks are cool just kicking it and have found that they really like the person. As with anything and as we’ve all said before, just have the talk and make certain there’s a crystal understanding of both parties intents. IMO, that’s the component that makes a world of difference…..being forthcoming in your intentions.
Off topic: Welcome Cherry. New faces are always welcomed!!!
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
11:36 am
What up Ladies and Gentleman…now who is spanking who?
Dani
November 20th, 2012
11:37 am
11/28
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:38 am
Swiss is currently getting spanked, and Bluz is standing in line.
czBrat .. hola from panama!
November 20th, 2012
11:39 am
on topic: just oy!
My hubs was ready to lock it down after 3 dates. If I had not been feeling him, it would have creeped me out.
lmao @ ^
looks like great convo today. wish i had time for more.
ciao!
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:39 am
Sorry, I already had it on the Blog calendar (lol). I think you, Comon and czB were talking about bdays last week.
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:40 am
How’s you doing, czB? I know you’re refreshed just being with your family. Stu is marveling at the beauty isn’t he. No, chile, not talking about you (lolol).
Into the Light
November 20th, 2012
11:43 am
Hey y’all!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWISS!!! Hope it’s the best one yet, with many more to follow.
Headed out for lunch; just wanted to pop in and say hi.
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
11:48 am
At 29, he is an adult, never mind he dont have a job right now, which is not unusual in this economy. However, u describe him..or it domes accross to me, when u describe him that he is rather..kinda..immmature…ijs
Now to be fair, u sound a tad immature urself for a 33 year old chic..but i give u a slight pass given u have indicated(candidly i must say and unusually so), ur medical condition.
At 33..most chics are waaay more mature than dudes at same age..thats my experience at least..
I dont think a young dude will steady u..rather, a more mature dude could handle u better and even give u some steady hand to rely on, if he is serious about u….
The problem, given again ur situation, is how do u spot a sincere dude versus a dude coming in with red shot eyes,ready for the kill..but intending to let u lie and lick ur wounds after he gooten the guuud stuff…thats the challenge i see…
But i wld suggest u upgradeage wise…..and just..date date date date without getting sucked in..
Tall order Bluzz,given ur cootie needs a tap on the regular….
But u know,(ask the blog chics for confirmation,they know) at 33, most single chics have have one good BOB on standby that does a damn heck of job pretty “well”…..Under the circumstances ofcourse!
:lol:
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
11:49 am
@Bluz…11:48
Leggs
November 20th, 2012
11:52 am
Sorry, was thinking about Family Guy. Stu jumped in my mind!
Bluzgirl
November 20th, 2012
11:57 am
Ex – I actually agree with most of what you said! LOL
He does have a job…granted, it’s not one that he likes or seems to be great at, but he’s going to stick it out as long as he can and see what happens with it.
As far as dating older…I typically do date older men and they seem to be much more immature. I’ve always liked older men.
To be honest, I’m very mature in many ways…just not so much when it comes to men. That comes from things that have happened to me in the past, but like I’ve said before, I’m working on it all.
And…by the way…I do have a great BOB…
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
12:00 pm
We Sags are shoot from the hip type of people, don’t tend to sugarcoat too much for the benefit of the other person, but won’t purposely go out to hurt someone (unless they deserve it).
My son & my nephew are both Sags and I have found this to be true as well.
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 20th, 2012
12:01 pm
MMeello – I’m impressed with most of that 11:48. I’on know about the B.O.B. I don’t have one of those. Well, at least not batter operated…lolololol
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
12:02 pm
C~ Gas/electric hybrid?!? Mine too!
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 20th, 2012
12:02 pm
I’m a sag to my very core…waaaay down deep
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 20th, 2012
12:04 pm
CC – Huh? BOB? I was talking about a human operated one…lol Maybe I should ask and not assume what B.O.B. means…lol
Bluzgirl
November 20th, 2012
12:08 pm
Battery Operated Boyfriend…
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
12:10 pm
Welcome Cherry Blossom!!
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
12:12 pm
Leave it to Jake to go adding stuff and thangs…
C~ Just a little joke. I used to have a friend that had a vibrator that plugged in.
So we said we were going to move her into the 21st century with a gas/electric hybrid.
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
12:14 pm
Thnx Cel…
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 20th, 2012
12:15 pm
Got it! lol
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
12:18 pm
Now, ladies..how bout u rattle off the brand names of these BOBs…..hitachi,sony,jvc etc…lets here…
shout out the names ladies….Leggs,who u with, Disco, who u with,Slim,who u rolling with,ITL and so on… etc….
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 20th, 2012
12:20 pm
MMeello – I can’t do foreign objects, not healthy…lololololol
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
12:27 pm
Comon-she needs to get used to that, you know there will some unprovoked, unannounced, unauthorized flirtations coming her way…I just wanted to welcome her the right way…lol
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
12:27 pm
Sorry, Ex, my bullet is very lonely these days. But back in the day, that’s what I had. And it was very, very healthy.
Comon Cents
November 20th, 2012
12:28 pm
Jake~ True… (in my 2Chainz voice)
Cherry Blossom
November 20th, 2012
12:31 pm
I love the addition to my name.
Nice to sort of meet you Jake – SPJTWB!
How do I make the smiley faces? Can someone assist?
Jake-SPJTWB
November 20th, 2012
12:31 pm
On another note: Vanquish was off the chain Friday Night…I was too!!!
I am officially recommending it as one of the for sure bets in ATL for Urban Entertainment on Friday’s!!!!
Into the Light
November 20th, 2012
12:39 pm
sn: WHY do I manage once every 2-3 years to convince myself that maybe Panda Express has gotten better and I should try it again? A whole bowl of rice and just a few little pieces of veggies? HMPH!
@Ex: I don’t to say it out loud….c’mere and I’ll whisper it in your ear… (ITL now blowing a foghorn in Ex’s ear, Looney Tunes-style)
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 20th, 2012
12:41 pm
ITL – I see i’m not the only one who opted for Chy-Neeee today.
Ex – These day’s I roll with myself…unless of course the beau is nowhere around to catch me using his neck massager.
Exiled!
November 20th, 2012
12:46 pm
Jake, are u invested in Vanquish?
U got a buddy that works there..whats the deal…?
the realest deal?
U been promoting the place..for a minute..now how old are the prople that go there…is it a real loUnge or it ends up with folk(hoochie mamas) shacking their behind down low like ALL e the other young place?
Into the Light
November 20th, 2012
12:52 pm
@Slim: It was meh….so so. More veggies, more skrimps, less rice would have been MUCH better. It was kinda spicy, though, which I love.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 20th, 2012
12:53 pm
ITL – I went to a spot not too far from my, it’s much better than PE but there is always room for growth lol…No imma need a nap
Single and Happy
November 20th, 2012
12:54 pm
Cherry blossom here’s the link, thanks to swiss
http://karaokebus.com/blog_formatting.txt