What stops you from approaching?
We can never explain why we are attracted to certain people, while others just don’t do it for us. A lot of the reasons we pass people up are completely superficial and nonsensical, but sometimes we have valid reasons to pause.
Call it instinct or intuition, but we often have to let our gut tell us when to keep it moving. I know for me, the minute I don’t go with my instinct, I end up regretting it later on. So how do we know when to follow our instinct and when to proceed with caution?
Have you ever noticed someone and was contemplating checking them out but decided not to? What was it that stopped you from approaching?
What turn-offs do you spot that immediately makes you rethink pursuing someone you initially thought was someone cool or a “great potential”?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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356 comments Add your comment
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
2:40 pm
Light – Not cute, but not unappropriate and offensive, for a toddler!LOL!!! I only saw bits of that episode, but I agree. Diapers showing, no shoes or even little booties on the feet, I have a few Baby Fashion Police offenses I could list for the parent violators!!LOL!!
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
2:41 pm
Your answer is better than mine, Single!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
2:42 pm
LOL……Cely @2:35
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
2:44 pm
Anybody here been on blackpeoplemeet? Have you seen the commercials about ourtime.com? Same damn site. Commercial geared toward white people, but it’s the same damn site with different color tabs (lol).
i'm swiss
November 19th, 2012
2:45 pm
“probably keep that waxed”
S/H — Bet she didn’t in the ’70s. That puddy might’ve looked like Sideshow Bob.
Into the Light
November 19th, 2012
2:46 pm
LOL@Kimmie. Me, too!
Into the Light
November 19th, 2012
2:47 pm
@Swiss: With or without the bone????
i'm swiss
November 19th, 2012
2:48 pm
“With or without the bone?”
ITL — That depends on whether I’m in the photo or not.
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 19th, 2012
2:48 pm
You don’t approach because you don’t think you deserve her nor stand a snowballs chance in hell of getting her. It’s actually not a self esteem or confidence issue; it’s more a matter of situational reality.
Now that’s some real talk Du. ALOT of men won’t admit that…even the ones that act like they’re all together…player puhleaze.
One must know his target market. If you are a ground beef dude and you consistently pursue prime rib chicks, you will starve to death.
Worth repeating…sometimes the ones talking the loudest are the ones who should be listening. Yep I said it….get at me
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
2:49 pm
I remember being in line at Kroger years ago. There was this chick that was tall and statuesque, pretty chocolate skin. Just a little heavy on the makeup & weave, but not crazy. What took her over the top, though, was her white, almost see-thru mini skirt she was wearing with the thong and the stillettos. Her man was there with her holding her hand and seemed so proud!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
2:49 pm
No Leggs haven’t been there. Is blackplanet.something still up and running?
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
2:51 pm
Du – good post!!LOL!!
Into the Light
November 19th, 2012
2:52 pm
smh. As soon as I clicked “Submit Comment” I realized my mistake. Leave it to Swiss….
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
2:52 pm
The chick that does hair next to my stylist wear knitting tank dresses and stuff. She’s got a badonkadonk for days. She wears thongs that look like they’re digging into her skin. You can see the imprint of the entire thong….the whole thing. from the waist down to where it disappears. I think she should probaby go up a size…or two. She’s not fat at all but with all that in the back, she’s defeatng the purpose of the thong.
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
2:52 pm
knit not knitting
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 19th, 2012
2:53 pm
Commercial geared toward white people, but it’s the same damn site with different color tabs
Wow…really?! I’ve been on Black People Meet and I felt that it was a meat market for hook ups…I mean you’ve got people genuinely looking for relationships and then you’ve got those looking for a quick piece. There are even MARRIED MEN with profiles on some of those sites…really?!…take your “I wish I were single cause I really like you”, lying azz the fck home.
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 19th, 2012
2:55 pm
Her man was there with her holding her hand and seemed so proud!
He was walking around like, “Looky what I got”…cheesing extra hard all the while…
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
2:55 pm
she’s defeatng the purpose of the thong
Single and Happy
November 19th, 2012
2:56 pm
Question to everyone, with social media these days, everyone is so quick to voice their opinion on everything about everyone. Do you ever stop to think what these same people may think of you? And if your answer is I don’t care what they think, then why are you voicing your opinion about them.
Sassy, Du. umm so you guys never seen the couple that you would say one was out of the others league, but they are very happy together? I may not be their type? yes, out of my league, is there really such a thing? If you think someone is out of your league, it is a self esteem problem!
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
2:57 pm
The IT guy we use to have (with his fione self), use to be on BPM. I wouldn’t have known except for I was having issues with my computer so he told me to use his while he fixed mine. Well, he was (I guess) working on several as there were about 3 laptops on his desk and a desktop. Ummmm, why did he have BPM up???? He was MARRIED!!
Also, he was that brother that was married but always cheated with “his type.” His wife was as sweet as ever but soooo no the type of the women he messed around with. Don’t know where I heard that, but I heard it recently. Dudes that marry but mess around with their type. Oh, I know, I was reading VSB
Single and Happy
November 19th, 2012
2:58 pm
Black, BP is still going strong
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
2:59 pm
then why are you voicing your opinion about them.
Single- So I guess why should there be anything such as blogs or Facebook at all then??
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
2:59 pm
Cely she defeated the reason for wearing a thong………….LOL
Are you rehearsing for a spot at the comedy club today?…………………LOL
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
3:00 pm
take your “I wish I were single cause I really like you”, lying azz the fck home.
LOLOLOLOL…this places me in the mind of dudes that say “I can just talk to you”….as opposed to their wife??? Umm, yeah and okie dokie then
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
3:02 pm
Blackfoote – Not trying to be funny at all. She’s a chocolate nice looking sister. She’s gained a few pounds since she started working there but she’s got a nice body (from how she appears in her clothing). I just don’t get the “tight” panties. That’s some uncomfortable stuff right there….lol And then thongs at that. That’s like when folks give you a wedgie, you’re having that thing pulled all day. I like nice fitting panties but not digging in. Noooo, that’s uncomfortable.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
3:04 pm
Thanks Single always wondered if they still had staying power.
Good night everyone have a pleasant evening.
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
3:04 pm
Oh, I don’t like chicks either but she’s like a couple feet away from me when I’m getting my hair done. I’m sitting, she’s standing so she’s always right in my face…just about….lol
Single and Happy
November 19th, 2012
3:04 pm
Kimmie correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Facebook started as away for people to network, and get to know people at school? and blogs, just some way for some people to feel their lives are important?
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
3:05 pm
Cel – I’ve seen that alot – folks that marry one type but cheat with another type and usually the type they cheat with is what you’d think they go for. One theory I have with some is that they don’t have the guts to go for what they really want. They married the nice girl the family expected them to marry, when really they wanted that girl from the wrong side of the tracks. At least, I’ve seen that up close. Some may think a certain type is okay to fool around with, but to marry and raise their kids they want another type. Either way, they aren’t doing anyone any favors. The “nice one” certainly doesn’t have any prize in a cheating spouse.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 19th, 2012
3:06 pm
Damn blog monster ate my posts…
Cel – I was saying that “not being like by many’ is not restricted to just this blog. I’m sure that flows over into real life when it comes to some people.
Leggs – I agree with you regarding Courtney and her mother…both born with sh!t for brains.
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
3:08 pm
Kimmie – I have NEVER understood that. He was a really really handsome dude. Matter of fact, I told him one day that he and eyecandy (on my current floor) favored one another and he said “naaaah, no way I’m as good looking as he.” Yeah, like he didn’t believe me. The could go for brothers. Anyhoo, his wife was a really beautiful person to me. Always pleasant, would bring the girls up, would meet him for lunch. She was very heavy. The women he cheate with? Very thin or voluptous (sp) but never heavy, most of them tall with long hair. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING like the wife. I agree, if that’s what you like, why didn’t you go for it???
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
3:10 pm
Single – I saw the movie about how Facebook started. As for blogs, I thought they were a way to voice opinion on things in the news or whatever the subject matter was. Your comment about blogs being a way for some to feel their lives are important is silly and sad to me.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 19th, 2012
3:10 pm
I wonder if Robert can come up with ten uses of the thong
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 19th, 2012
3:12 pm
this places me in the mind of dudes that say “I can just talk to you”….as opposed to their wife???
I know right?!…I can smell that bullisht a mile away. Miss me with that…
If you think someone is out of your league, it is a self esteem problem!
Single I agree with your point and it shows that there are cases where someone may be out of another’s league(I’ve seen it first hand) AND there are other situations where it works out despite the differences. It can go either way.
Do you ever stop to think what these same people may think of you? And if your answer is I don’t care what they think, then why are you voicing your opinion about them.
I’m voicing my experiences from BPM. I was approached by guys wanting to come to my house(dudes I’ve never met mind you), those only wanting to hook up and YES by MARRIED men.
And as far as opinions go..they’re just like azzholes…WE ALL have one….so who’s to say what we can/can’t give an opinion about.
Single and Happy
November 19th, 2012
3:14 pm
Kimmie when I first heard about blogs, it was always an Individual, writing about things that go on in their lives, and their thoughts, not really wanting anyone else’s opinion, unless it agreed with theirs. It was always read my blog.
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 19th, 2012
3:15 pm
and blogs, just some way for some people to feel their lives are important?
I’m sure everyone has their reason…give us yours. Do you feel that your life has more purpose when you blog?
For me, it helps pass the day plus I’ve met two really cool ladies that are quite funny if I must say..
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 19th, 2012
3:16 pm
Your comment about blogs being a way for some to feel their lives are important is silly and sad to me.
cosign…
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
3:17 pm
black planet is still up and running. Same people they’re picking for me on outtime.com are the same guys that were on black people meet. Naw, they’re not getting my $$.
“He was walking around like, “Looky what I got”…cheesing extra hard all the while…” – Looks like Courtney’s husband feels the same way about the wife he’s raising. She looks like she’s horrible in bed (whatever that looks like, it’s her).
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
3:20 pm
When I first started reading this blog it was like the fast and the furious. Get in where you fit in. Nothing politically correct. Everything talked about, from politics, to religion, to relationships, to shenanigans, so forth and so on. Disagreements yes, but kept to the same day. Nobody came back the next day gunning for folks. Nobody came on trying to make this a world of peace…cause that just wasn’t the nature. Folks commented on whatever you put out there….good and sometimes bad. You had to REALLY be thick-skinned. No gate keepers, no “making this a place of peace.” It was what it was but it was fun and I know, I for one lurked about a year. Heck, I was honestly nervous about jumping in and getting eaten alive. Even so, the feel of it wasn’t personal. There were anonymous attacks but even so it wasn’t what I’ve seen here of late. It was fun, no rules, no restrictions, nothing off limits and it vibed and flowed and the pages turned effortlessly.
Comon Cents
November 19th, 2012
3:20 pm
kimmie/Cel~ I’ve seen that alot – folks that marry one type but cheat with another type and usually the type they cheat with is what you’d think they go for. One theory I have with some is that they don’t have the guts to go for what they really want
That was my 1st husband. He married the first wife who is almost a twin for me. She put him out over the same woman I put him out over. (He actually knew her before he knew either one of us) And let’s just suffice to say that she was not like either of the two of us. Ghettofabulous hoodrat would be an understatement! He finally married her after I divorced him, and chick dragged him straight through hell while they were married and then took him to the cleaners when she left.
Where is he now? Back living with the 1st wife… SMDH Everything that looks good to you is not good for you. IJS
MsAtl
November 19th, 2012
3:21 pm
I agree with the mini skirt comment. I always say you can be sexy without showing the crack of your a$$ to strangers. sexy (to me) is the way you carry yourself not the lack of clothing.
Cel- I saw a female with a dress on & she had a wedgie. Explain that one!
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
3:21 pm
Single – Okay……
There are different blogs for different purposes. They are several associated with this very newpaper, for example. I’ve known people that have started blogs because they wanted to get into writing and it’s easier to start a blog than get a column in a newspaper or magazine. Some do it to communicate with others that have a similiar interest.
People do different things to give their lives meaning, I guess…..
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
3:21 pm
I guess in essence, it was a great passtime and just not that deep. Folks hooked up, fell out and refriended (can I say that), and K.I.M.
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
3:23 pm
Did you go up to her and tell her she had a wedgie?
Single and Happy
November 19th, 2012
3:24 pm
Sassy, they call this blogging, didn’t know that. when you used to have back and forth banter it was called chatting. When I said give an opinion, I mean on what others are doing with their lives, and 90% of these people we know nothing about just have seen then once in passing. On your BPM that wasn’t an opinion, that was an experience.
Comon Cents
November 19th, 2012
3:24 pm
I saw a female with a dress on & she had a wedgie. Explain that one!
Her azz was hungry…
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
3:25 pm
CC – Everything that looks good to you is not good for you.
Boy ain’t that the truth!
MsAtl – The dress was too small…maybe?? You shouldn’t have a wedgie in a dress. At least I don’t think you should.
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 19th, 2012
3:26 pm
Where is he now? Back living with the 1st wife…
Looks like Courtney’s husband feels the same way about the wife he’s raising.
He looks exactly like that…like, “Hah looka MY trophy”. Even their wedding photos look like that…it epitomizes that very sentiment.
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
3:28 pm
For me, the vibe is still good, still talk about anything and everything, no restrictions…more participants and their thoughts will again help the pages flow faster.
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 19th, 2012
3:30 pm
On your BPM that wasn’t an opinion, that was an experience.
That’s true Single… I stated that in my 3:12.