What stops you from approaching?
We can never explain why we are attracted to certain people, while others just don’t do it for us. A lot of the reasons we pass people up are completely superficial and nonsensical, but sometimes we have valid reasons to pause.
Call it instinct or intuition, but we often have to let our gut tell us when to keep it moving. I know for me, the minute I don’t go with my instinct, I end up regretting it later on. So how do we know when to follow our instinct and when to proceed with caution?
Have you ever noticed someone and was contemplating checking them out but decided not to? What was it that stopped you from approaching?
What turn-offs do you spot that immediately makes you rethink pursuing someone you initially thought was someone cool or a “great potential”?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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356 comments Add your comment
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
11:09 am
I’m laughing at you BF!
MsAtl
November 19th, 2012
11:10 am
Leggs & Sassy- I admit I am guilty of that as well. A man told me that he would not have spoken to me if he met me on the street because I had that “get out of my face” look. I was also told I looked like the “typical New Yorker” with an attitude. I’m working on it. I chalk it up to being preoccupied, constantly thinking about my next move and what needs to be done.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
11:12 am
Leggs, don’t forget Gloria Vanderbilt. Jeans that were built for black women. I aint racist y’all but women of color wore them so splendidly where did they go?
disco
November 19th, 2012
11:13 am
hey y’all. not the gold tooth talk. btw, they had – i don’t know what to call them – clip on / slide on gold teeth back in the day. the look without the cost or committment.
O/T – don’t recall who suggested i watch cadillac records but i wasn’t overly impressed. like the cast, liked the storyline just not impressed with it overall.
also O/T – what’s up with olivia pope tearing up in practically every episode?
Sassy Me..I'm so ready ;-)
November 19th, 2012
11:16 am
I chalk it up to being preoccupied, constantly thinking about my next move and what needs to be done.
True…it’s like you’re lost in so many thoughts at the same d@#m time the last thing you consider is your facial expression.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
11:20 am
LOL………@Kimmie
Nick Ashford look alike with gold teeth that’s a visual that makes me think of the song black and yellow, black and yellow.
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
11:20 am
BF – Sorry, but those GV were made for anyone but the sisters in my book!
disco – I watched the last Scandal episode yesterday and I was thinking the same thing! I’m love the show but I’m bout sick of her bout to holler every episode!! I felt sorry for the dude Abby WAS seeing. He a nice guy just trying to get to the truth. He can do better than Abby though!
i'm swiss
November 19th, 2012
11:20 am
Morning, blogville.
Kind of on topic (at least corollary to the topic of instinct): Did anyone catch this story on 60 minutes? Pretty fascinating…
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
11:21 am
I chalk it up to being preoccupied, constantly thinking about my next move and what needs to be done.
Yep, that’s me all the way!!!
Comon Cents
November 19th, 2012
11:24 am
BF/Leggs~ What about Cross Colours? Or those ugly Coogi sweater from back in the day?
Comon Cents
November 19th, 2012
11:28 am
swiss~ Fascinating yes, but not sure I agree 100%. If environment were that much of a factor, you wouldn’t have children from the same household raised by the same parents who turn out completely different. There was a family at my dad’s old church who had one son who turned out to be a well-respected doctor and the other son turned out to be a drug dealing murderer. Same parents, same household witha 3 year age difference between the boys. The mother said that the younger child was ALWAYS difficult.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 19th, 2012
11:28 am
MsAtl – Oohhh, yeah you have a point there and I didn’t even think about that as far as having a good that early. lol Well, this was Decatur so it isn’t too unheard of lol
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
11:29 am
Comon
Isn’t Alexander Julian the creator of Cross Colours? Coogi may be cool for the other guy but I couldn’t find anything I liked about them.
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
11:31 am
BF, Gloria Vanderbilt is a jean I couldn’t wear back then. I had virtually no hips, no butt cheeks to put in a pair of pants. They looked horrible on me. Jordace fit me better.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
11:36 am
Jordache that’s who I was trying to think of that built jeans for black women.
mark
November 19th, 2012
11:36 am
some Sistas have a look that will make a stop Dead in his Tracks. Like dont E’;ff with me, But Hell i have been dissed so many times Sistas you have to do more than give me the Stink Face to stop me
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
11:38 am
Leggs – I’ve always had “junk in my trunk” and the one pair of GV’s I had I had to have practically remade. By the time I got jeans to fit over my butt, the waist part was huge and had to be taken in. Jordache and Calvin Kleins fit me much better.
CoolShadow
November 19th, 2012
11:38 am
Have you ever noticed someone and was contemplating checking them out but decided not to? What was it that stopped you from approaching?
Mostly, pure instinct but sometimes it’s a turn-off or later discovery that she’s not single.
What turn-offs do you spot that immediately makes you rethink pursuing someone you initially thought was someone cool or a “great potential”?
Smoking, disrespect to waitstaff & other service workers and sometimes the mean mugging discussed previously.
The other issue is that some women only want to be approached by men they’re attracted to, and they can be less than cordial if you don’t meet their standards.
i'm swiss
November 19th, 2012
11:38 am
Comon — Hmm, my takeaway from that was actually that environment was not as big a factor as we might think. Rather, that we are born with pre-disposed notions of morality as well as pre-disposed biases in favor of those perceived to be like us.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
11:39 am
Shoot any jeans will do, pour them on if you have to they look good on you..
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
11:43 am
I still can visualize that horse on those Jordache jeans.
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
11:44 am
Coolshadow – That’s what I couldn’t put my finger on – Smoking! That’s always been an instant turn-off!!
i'm swiss
November 19th, 2012
11:46 am
I can still visualize a topless Heidi Klum riding that horse in her Jordache jeans…
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
11:47 am
Can’t count the times the fellas and I would say we want to ride that horse in those jeans……LOL
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
11:47 am
BF – Sorry, but those GV were made for anyone but the sisters in my book! – Yep.
disco ~ you’re simply hard to please on many facets. Pray tell, how did you like Beyonce singing the song as he was leaving. swiss’ told me the title but I forgot it again.
Comon Cents
November 19th, 2012
11:47 am
swiss~ maybe I am misinterpreting as I was watching while working
If that is the case, then I do agree with that. I think some kids are just bad seeds, born that way. But in some cases, environment (especially a bad one) will influence how a kid turns out.
Robert
November 19th, 2012
11:56 am
“What was it that stopped you from approaching?”
Robert’s Rules On Datings – Top 10
I will not approach;
1. Women who dress inapropriately for their age
2. Women with hair weaves
3. Women with fake nails
4. Women with tattoo’s
5. Women under 30 years old (no more mama babies = $$$)
6. Women over 30 with little children (already raised kids)
7. Women over 45 years old (no cougars)
8. Women not working for over 5 years(no free loaders)
9. Women with no car ( No taxi cab)
10. Women with no money ($$$$)
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
11:58 am
I think someone is in trouble!!!
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
11:58 am
Robert – I passed all ten! :MRGREEN:
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
11:59 am
I passed but really I’m just funning….lololol
MsAtl
November 19th, 2012
12:02 pm
Robert- your list seems more like a “won’t date” list because you have to approach in order to find out the things on your list even apply.
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
12:03 pm
Robert – How would you know most of that just on an initial approch?
kimmie
November 19th, 2012
12:03 pm
Robert – Also, do any of those things on the list apply to YOU?? LOL!!!
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
12:04 pm
How are you going to know nails, hair, boobs (etc) are fake without approaching? How are you going to know whether or not little kids, baby mama/daddy is you don’t approach? How are you going to know whether or not they have a car/job if you don’t approach?
All rhetorical of course but just wondering out loud.
CoolShadow
November 19th, 2012
12:04 pm
kimmie – so true, and I forgot to mention the chest & neck tats.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
12:05 pm
LOL………….@Robert
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
12:06 pm
Robert ~ your lists reminds of Tough Lough New Orleans when the host had a room full of men and when asked if they had certain attributes to stand or sit, only one man was left standing!
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
12:07 pm
Celisea ~ I passed only 9 (cracking up).
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
12:07 pm
Actually, I think Robert’s list is “funning.” I don’t think he’s serious.
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
12:08 pm
Leggs – I almost didn’t make all ten…lol
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
12:10 pm
How old is Robert? He’s got a 21 year old. Surely over 45
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
12:12 pm
A woman ain’t a cougar (to you) if y’all the same age or you’re older. A woman is a cougar if you (being the man) is younger. A boy toy is a boy toy if she’s older. Again, if y’all around the same age or in the same age bracket, ummm (IMO) she ain’t a cougar to you.
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
12:12 pm
Okay, enough talking…back to work Celisea
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
12:13 pm
LOL………that’s the funnies of the day.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 19th, 2012
12:14 pm
I guess 2 out of ten isn’t too too bad. How many cat’s does that equate to?
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
12:15 pm
Robert ~ are you still dating your clingy gf who insists on spending more time with you and your kids? That is, if your the same Robert? You sound like him.
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
12:15 pm
IMO, an old cat REQUIRING a young chick and swearing off older women (i.e. cougars) is equivalent to a cat with a big belly but wanting a dime piece….IJS
Okay, I’m gone for real. Out to lunch.
AGAIN, JUST FUNNING!!! :MRGREEN: Don’t get in a tizzy
Leggs
November 19th, 2012
12:16 pm
you’re
Celisea......mini vacay bound
November 19th, 2012
12:16 pm
What’s wrong with my
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 19th, 2012
12:19 pm
Cely you’re not helping me calm down with the little green man.