Mo’ Money, Mo Problems
I was having a nice quiet dinner alone recently when I happened to witness an awkward scene happening at the table next to mine. There was a lady celebrating her promotion at work while her man was sitting there practically pouting about her new salary.
Apparently, she had joined the six-figure club, which displeased him because he was not already in it. I didn’t even KNOW this woman and I wanted to tell her to RUN from that guy. What kind of man gets visibly upset when the woman he supposedly loves succeeds? Like, who does that??
Putting my hypercritical judgment aside, I have to wonder why Ms. Six-Figure was disclosing her exact salary to a guy she was only dating? Do you ever tell people you are dating how much you make?
I know some people prefer that men have the “power” in a relationship, but does it matter if a woman makes more money than her man? Does that change the dynamic of the relationship? Should it change the dynamic?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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294 comments Add your comment
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
November 16th, 2012
10:31 am
I would acknowledge my promotion one way or another.
Ditto…when I started working here I was elated. I was single at the time so I treated myself to some things that I wanted to splurge on.
As for the topic: I’ve always made more than the men that I’ve dated but never held it over their heads b/c they didn’t know how much I made…ever.
Comon Cents
November 16th, 2012
10:41 am
Good Morning, Sassy! How goes the latest mad scientist experiment?
disco
November 16th, 2012
10:41 am
leggs – dang. your work had drama like that? we just have the basic run of the mill gossip and backstabbing drama. at least to my knowledge. lol.
re celebrating promotions how come I see (in my mind of course) those tax commercials (HR block maybe) when folks were jamming because they were getting refund.
Lady~sunshine
November 16th, 2012
10:43 am
Interesting topic & spins~ Howdy MIA lets see if I can hang today 0_o lol
Single and Happy
November 16th, 2012
10:44 am
Sassy, how did you know how much they made?
Exiled!
November 16th, 2012
10:44 am
Leggs…I dont know if it’s really true and besides,I really don’t wanna know for sure coz it wld put me in a difficult spot…the dude is my buddy for a long time but ummm,when I heard that,…not totally surprised.
Money management there is terrible,I know that. And he and wify got that hood streak.
Comon Cents
November 16th, 2012
10:44 am
Where are ITL & swiss?
Leggs
November 16th, 2012
10:47 am
ITL is working hard and barely has time to come up for air.
kimmie
November 16th, 2012
10:50 am
Morning All!!
About a month after now hubs & I started dating I got a promotion, from an analyst to a manager. It was really special because I had been working at the company for only about 9 months. He took me out to a special dinner and that was it. We didn’t reveal salaries to each other until we got married. I don’t believe in intermingling finances with someone other than a spouse, so I’ve never had a problem in that arena. One guy I dated did get mad that I wouldn’t tell him how much money I made. He was good friends with one of my brothers and he remarked my brother kept how much he made to himself too and that we really were “secretive” about such. SALARY INFO IS PRIVATE! I told him I was sorry he didn’t get the memo! Yes, one can kind of assume what a person might make depending on what field they work in, but even then only guessing, because like Disco said, it can all boil down to how they manage it. I know too many folks that stay broke but work in high salary fields.
Comon – Girl, I’m like you, when I get home I don’t WANT to be in charge! He BETTER wear the pants at home, cause I’m tired!!
Single and Happy
November 16th, 2012
10:53 am
Kimmie, comon,. so when you guys get home you just want to relax?
czBrat ♀ packed and redtoogo!
November 16th, 2012
10:53 am
i’m happy with my pay coz i live below my means and make sure i have $$ to spare.
last review i asked for 5 more vacation days instead of a raise. boss lady gave me both. =D
never had an interest in s/o’s salary. just cared that he managed his finances well.
then he asked me to do his taxes, so that lil secret was out!
Leggs
November 16th, 2012
10:55 am
I know too many folks that stay broke but work in high salary fields. – They let their overhead exceed their paycheck. Always found that those needing to impress others usually are the ones that wind up suffering in the long run!
disco
November 16th, 2012
10:58 am
brat – honesty is the best policy and I have to be honest, every time I read your moniker (packed and redtogo) I’m a tad bit envious. I wanna be brat. so while I truly hope you have a safe and wonderful trip I’m also going to say “you make me sick”. lol.
oh. I forgot. hey kimmie!!!
Single and Happy
November 16th, 2012
11:00 am
Disco, what’s stopping you from being brat, get packed and go!!!
Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"
November 16th, 2012
11:00 am
Happy Friday
Disco-Worth Repeating:
I believe that how much money one makes isn’t nearly as important as how responsible they are with it. I know plenty of people who make “good” money but have bad credit and awful spending habits.
Who makes what shouldn’t be an issue, hell, me and mine have joint an seperate accounts…she doesn’t need to ask me when she wanna waste some on shoes and a purse, and I ain’t asking nobody nothin about nothin when i want to throw some ones away…makes for a happy home for US.
Comon Cents
November 16th, 2012
11:00 am
Amen, kimmie! Salary info is relegated to spouses and you better handle yo bidness when you at the castle. You want to be king of the castle? Good, here are a list of duties that go along with that…
kimmie
November 16th, 2012
11:06 am
Single – It’s more of an attitude or state-of-mind than actual “relaxing”. I respect my hubs as head of the household. I’m the boss at work, so I don’t want to have to come home and have to have the weight of the entire family on my shoulders as well. I am his helpmate and have input on major decisions.
Actual, physical relaxing is a whole nother matter – especially with 2 kids!!
czBrat ♀ packed and redtoogo!
November 16th, 2012
11:08 am
comon, kimmie … we recently had that convo. s/o spends long hours managing teams of people and billions in sales. he considers “our” time to be his low-stress, easy breezy chill to the point of often not wanting to make decisions or even DRIVE (gasp!!) when we go somewhere.
i had to tell him that, while i truly appreciate how very comfy he is with me in the driver’s seat (figuratively and actually), i can only give him but so many passes.
right, wrong or indifferent, my definition of “my man” is one who stays in the lead.
i’ll cover you from time to time while you reload, but YOU NEED TO STAY ON POINT!
noooooo, disco!! don’t be sick! join me in being a spoiled brat! LOL. it took many years of re-teaching myself that i am a gift and will live my life as such.
and hopefully you’ll not have to go through half the sh!t i did in order to get here.
kimmie
November 16th, 2012
11:10 am
Hey Disco!
Comon Cents
November 16th, 2012
11:11 am
Kimmie, comon,. so when you guys get home you just want to relax?
Not so much “just relax” as I think you should be in charge of things as opposed to me making all the decisions. I do that all day, everyday. I don’t want to come home to another person who needs me to tell them every little thing that needs to be done and manage every decision. Take some initiative and handle it.
Sidebar~ I also had to learn that for him to be willing to do that, I could not get upset when he made a decision and I didn’t like it or it wasn’t the way I would have done/handled it. That was a learning curve for me.
Willie Dynamite
November 16th, 2012
11:11 am
This whole Convo has me reflecting. I remember when Wifey and I first got married and we opened up the books. She had a pretty good idea of what I made and spent. She was surprised why I didn’t splurge more. I joked that I should’ve cause now I have to factor in her high maint azz. For a minute I thought I thought I was gonna have to get all pimpish with the budget. You know you a chick some money she liable to lose her mind. Shiiiid had to come up with the Mrs. Dynamite version of the budget.
DuShawn
November 16th, 2012
11:11 am
Whew!!….I’m not one to brag, but I got to give myself a shout out for the work I put in last night till this morning. If the walls in my bedroom could talk they would say “round of applause!” I’m just getting to the office, wifey called in, she still sleep, kids missed school, sun done came up, birds chirping, headboard still bout to bust a hole in the sheetrock, I hear the cockblockas in the kitchen fixing cereal and watching cartoons, ignored them, kept strokin. I would’ve worked remotely today, but had to drive from conyers to sandy springs just to get this f^&kin laptop. Dayum…… it was difficult to let them warm thighs go. (I’m just typing what I’m thinking)
disco
November 16th, 2012
11:13 am
S/H – I am hosting my 10 year old niece this week. I’ll be going to the universoul circus (maybe), a children’s science museum (maybe), skating (maybe), etc. lol. don’t laugh at my maybes. we’ll do some things but the schedule will be flexible as heck. trust, I’ll be needing/taking a me trip really soon.
kimmie
November 16th, 2012
11:13 am
Brat – Girl, I can related to your S/O about that driving!! I have to drive from Smyrna to Alpharetta every day for work! So any time after work hours I can get out of driving, I do!! I actually hate driving anyway, always have. I always said if I came into some serious money, I would hire a driver.
But I know, I can get away with not wanting to drive cause I’m the lady!
disco
November 16th, 2012
11:15 am
dushawn – I call foul on that post. you wrong man. just plain wrong.
Single and Happy
November 16th, 2012
11:17 am
Kimmie, Comon, having heard this from several women, and still being single just what decisions are there to be made? Cause I like to go home and not have to make decisions or tell someone what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. And the way some of these guys be getting calls at work I’m rethinking it now (LOL)
Single and Happy
November 16th, 2012
11:22 am
Brat, if I’ve got to drive all the time the we won’t go (LOL)
Exiled!
November 16th, 2012
11:23 am
Shame on u Disco for that 11:13!
And there is no mention of a man there in your adventures.
DuShawn’s 11:11 should make you green with envy!
Some womens(yes womens) just got tired up!
Exiled!
November 16th, 2012
11:25 am
tored
czBrat ♀ packed and redtoogo!
November 16th, 2012
11:29 am
I also had to learn that for him to be willing to do that, I could not get upset when he made a decision and I didn’t like it or it wasn’t the way I would have done/handled it.
uh. yeah. still working on that.
kimmie, s/o understands that traffic is the #1 thing that will completely destroy my mood, my day, and my plans (which can all directly impact him), so whenever he asks me to drive somewhere i know he must really need a break.
Brat, if I’ve got to drive all the time the we won’t go
so be it. lol.
Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"
November 16th, 2012
11:29 am
Dushawn-I hear ya buddy, that’s what we call a Championship Night around my hood, have to pat yourself on the back for your performance…Happy Wife, Happy Life
kimmie
November 16th, 2012
11:30 am
Single – Let me put it this way. I’ve heard some dudes complain about wives that are the boss at work and can’t turn it off when they get home. They won’t “let the man be the man” altough I HATE that term. Let’s just say I know how to leave work at work. Like I said, it’s really more of a state of mind than anything. Really, it’s our home, not a corporation. Not that many major decisions to make every day, even every month!
Leggs
November 16th, 2012
11:34 am
Dushawn ~ MAN!
disco ~ don’tcha just hate braggers (lol).
disco
November 16th, 2012
11:36 am
ex – it ain’t no secret that I don’t have no man (yeah I used all those inappropriate negatives – lol) don’t see why you have to re-iterate all up on the blog. what’s up with that?
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
November 16th, 2012
11:39 am
How goes the latest mad scientist experiment?
Everything in the lab is going cool…in the process of writing a concept paper about it.
how did you know how much they made?
Single, I didn’t recall saying I knew. I never asked how much they made b/c their money was theirs and mine was mine. I didn’t make it a habit of asking the guys I dated about their salaries…ever. Even in the serious relationships I’ve never asked them and they didn’t ask me… With regards to things like dinner(who’s paying and/or who’s leaving the tip)movies and other routine “coupley” things, we discussed that but other than that, that’s it.
Exiled!
November 16th, 2012
11:39 am
Disco,actually with u we can never know since u ohh so secretive!
I thought u was going to goad u to reveal Him!
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 16th, 2012
11:41 am
Are there any wet wipes left? Dayum Dushawn
kimmie
November 16th, 2012
11:42 am
I also had to learn that for him to be willing to do that, I could not get upset when he made a decision and I didn’t like it or it wasn’t the way I would have done/handled it.
See this I had no problem with. I use so much brain-power every day. It’s nice to have someone else around to figure things out sometimes and lighten the load. Or, hate to say this, but take the blame unless it doesn’t turn out quite right!
Willie Dynamite
November 16th, 2012
11:48 am
Kimmie- that’s funny cause I get accused of running the house like a business. Wifey gets on me for doing that CEO isht as she calls it.
Du- nothing wrong with patting yourself on the back Bruh. Gives you a lil lean in your step and a cocky smirk in your smile today. Attaboy!!
Leggs
November 16th, 2012
11:50 am
SlimNu, need for than wet wipes for that one. Wet the entire hand towel. Not wash cloth, but hand towel.
Leggs
November 16th, 2012
11:51 am
kimmie ~ your comment re: home is not a corporation reminded me of something PoppaG always says. Marriage/home should be treated like a corporation with a CEO and a CFO. I see WillieD agrees.
DuShawn
November 16th, 2012
11:56 am
A potnah of mine is having a birthday party for his ole lady tonight at some art gallery. It’s going to be a live affair. A lot of beautiful people vibin and enjoying life. No cover, open bar,live band… that’s a cheap date night with wifey and something different. I really don’t do strip joints anymore, but the other night the bruz were at Taco Mac watchin the game. On the way back we stopped by Pin ups. I met this cute chick. She was a customer. It was her birthday and she was in there with some of her friends. I told her when she sees something she likes holla at me and I will buy her a dance. She picked out something nice, we got a table, I paid the chick and gave the birthday girl a small stack of ones to tip her. I bought couple of rounds, told a few jokes, had a few laughs, blew through my eighty dollar limit in about 42 minutes and was ready to go. On my way out the birthday girl came up behind me and gave me her number. She said she wanted to meet my wife………I smiled and gave her the address to party.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
November 16th, 2012
11:56 am
Wet the entire hand towel. Not wash cloth, but hand towel.
kimmie
November 16th, 2012
11:57 am
Willie/Leggs – When it comes to finances & such, got no problem with it – I’m a businessperson. But don’t come barking out orders like some drill sargent!! It’s the “corporate vibe” I’m talking about I don’t want at home!
Yal know what I’m talking about!!
EXILED!
November 16th, 2012
11:59 am
So Dushawn..is that a threesome coming up soon ? Perhaps
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
November 16th, 2012
12:00 pm
On my way out the birthday girl came up behind me and gave me her number. She said she wanted to meet my wife………I smiled and gave her the address to party.
Did you even ask why or what for? WTF kinda isht is that? You might be setting yourself up for some kind of okey doke.
DuShawn
November 16th, 2012
12:02 pm
I doubt it. We are the Huxtables now. But Imma dayum sure introduce them.
DuShawn
November 16th, 2012
12:06 pm
Sassy- Baby seemed pretty cool. She said she was nurse and single mom. I just invited her to my potnahs get together, not to my crib. Im not suprised she gave me the number. We had a good conversation. I asked if she liked girls. She said she has yet to try it but shes curious. I told her I might could help her out with that.
EXILED!
November 16th, 2012
12:07 pm
Careful DuShawn..u know chics are competitive…..once she meets ur wife, she figures, i can rock him better than her..ima show him..
and there it is……hos dont think like wives
EXILED!
November 16th, 2012
12:08 pm