Are men powerless to women?
Yet another scandal involving a powerful, married man. The more details that emerge about Pertraeus and Broadwell, the more ridiculous all of this seems to become. You have two people who had a great deal to lose, deciding to risk it all to have an affair. I am sure it does not seem worth it now, to either of them. I wonder if the forbidden is so tempting that you don’t care what consequences you could face when you are caught up in it?
Whenever I hear discussions about why men and women cheat, I find it interesting how the reasons attributed to each gender can be so different. Women are trying to fill an emotional void, while men are seeking to feel a physical one.
Is is really about giving in to attraction and temptation? When you find yourself susceptible to being tempted, does it not all come down to making a choice?
I have seen a lot of judgment toward Broadwell, as many spin the sordid affair like it is some bad romance novel: Temptress targets her mark and lures him in to her web. Please! That all sounds a little too easy and it totally lets Petraeus off the hook. Are women really capable of making a man so powerless that his good sense goes out the window? Why do you think think?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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255 comments Add your comment
Button
November 13th, 2012
10:49 am
For every man seeking to cheat, there is a woman who will cheat with you.
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
10:53 am
Comon, it can be more than a dis-honorable discharge, they can court martial you for it.
Ex, military spouse end up divorcing because most of the time it’s not love, but benefits and travel they marry for, when those run out, they run out.
disco
November 13th, 2012
10:58 am
re proximity. same thing goes for co-workers. goodness knows a great deal of affairs get started there.
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
10:58 am
Ex a lot of people get married in the military because it comes with benefits, you get base housing, or housing allowances to live off base, you get a raise with every child. You can’t get these things being a single man or woman w/o children until you get up in rank.
kimmie
November 13th, 2012
11:00 am
Disco – I get what you’re saying. I guess if in the military they went after everyone that cheated, they probably would not have many left. But the CIA/FBI – that’s different. Potential for spilling the beans on matters of national security is of greater concern.
Single – The whole military lifestyle is hard. I have a career military uncle whose wife divorced him well before he retired, so she was not worried about losing any benefits. She said she just could not deal with the constant moving around and the lifestyle.
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
11:01 am
Disco, I have a co-worker who has been flirting with me since I started working here, thought about it once when I wasn’t in a relationship and hadn’t had any in awhile, but cheat with her, I don’t think so, proximity doesn’t always work. But there have been plenty of them started here, hell some of them both spouses worked here and the still got started.
disco
November 13th, 2012
11:03 am
S/H – that ties in to my perpetual comment to the romantics that a lot of folks get married for reasons that have little to do with love. a lot of those military marriages are “game”. lol.
Comon ¢
November 13th, 2012
11:03 am
I think that it all comes down to the individual. If you have strong morals, all the proximity in the world won’t make you cheat. And if you don’t? Well, we see how that worked out for Mr. Petraeus…
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
11:04 am
Kimmie, you know that old saying, watch what you ask for because you just might get it. people don’t realize that the military really doesn’t care about your family situation, you belong to them, and they tell you all this upfront.
kimmie
November 13th, 2012
11:05 am
Single – Plus dealing with a spouse’s emotional issues stemming from multiple deployments and those that have seen action is stressful. Add any physical injuries that have occurred and you have a whole new set of problems. All of that is a strain on marriages and families.
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
11:06 am
Disco, if you’ve ever stayed around a military base, the women are like vultures eyeing their prey, Especially the ones where the new recruits come in.
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
11:08 am
Kimmie for better or worse, in sickness and in health doesn’t really mean that much huh (LOL) JK I know some of those issues are hard to deal with,
kimmie
November 13th, 2012
11:09 am
Single – I know that. That’s actually one of the projects of the1st & 2nd Ladies – assisting military families.
I dated 2 men that were in the military. Let’s just say after the last one, I vowed never to date one again. The issues they had were a bit much for just this mere girlfriend to handle, let alone a wife.
disco
November 13th, 2012
11:10 am
S/H – I know a couple of chicks who upped and married military amputees right quick. I say right quick because they weren’t dating before. they latched on to them quick, hooked them quick, married them quick.
CC – we know that proximity and opportunity alone do not a cheater make. we just agree that if one is prone to cheating proximity and opportunity aid the process.
Exiled!
November 13th, 2012
11:14 am
Marrying for military benefits?
Really…that’s real dummie i must say if they do that.
How can you potentially ruin your whole life for a nickel
kimmie
November 13th, 2012
11:17 am
Single/Disco – Those military groupies can have them. The 2 guys I dated in the military I dated them “in spite of” them being in the military. I’ve never been turned on by the uniform or potential benefits or anything like that. Never got why that does it for some, but not me. Plus, the potential for him possibly having to ship out to war always scared me.
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
11:17 am
Ex people marry for a nickel all the time, not just the military.
kimmie
November 13th, 2012
11:18 am
Exiled – Your 11:14 – totally agree, and yeah a nickel is about right too. Unless he’s way up there in rank, so not worth it.
Exiled!
November 13th, 2012
11:18 am
Disco..,so they married the amputees but they proly ain’t luving them and giving them their fair share of sexual favors…but supplementing elsewhere.
That’s Fraud!
disco
November 13th, 2012
11:20 am
kimmie – kind of related and unrelated but what really irks me about the military is when folks are hounding me for donations to help a soldier’s family. I was at the grocery store recently and the cashier asked if I’d like to donate to benefit military families. I’m like the soldier has a job. his wife may or may not but she can get one. even if she doesn’t that’s what a daggone allotment is for. stop asking me for my money!!! lol. sorry. just a little tirade of mine.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 13th, 2012
11:20 am
Button – My ex repeated that more often times than I cared to hear that “All men cheat”.
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
11:21 am
Kimmie, when you have nothing, a nickel is a lot, most of the girls that do that just want to get away from their parents. most of the time they don’t work.
Exiled!
November 13th, 2012
11:21 am
You ladies set me wondering….and thinking..
So what did my wife marry me for?
Hmmmm
I’m gon ask her str8 up!
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
11:24 am
Disco, I’m like you, when I went to visit my son, my grandson had a basketball game, you wouldn’t believe all the stair step children running around (yes my son is one of them) I’m thinking damn they need to be handing out birth control. that allotment really isn’t enough. But they should have thought about that before they had them.
Exiled!
November 13th, 2012
11:25 am
Single..11:21 u answered my question..I think I can understand that when some young chics are desperate,uneducated and proly failed high school or barely made it.
The tough and rough thing is most of the folks in the army are young high school graduands making such illogical marrying decisions.
Single and Happy
November 13th, 2012
11:25 am
Slim if he repeated it, then he was cheating, because all men don’t cheat, just a lot of us (LOL)
kimmie
November 13th, 2012
11:26 am
Single – You don’t have to tell me, that’s just another one of the things I’m thankful for. I was fortunate that I didn’t feel I had to resort to that. Education and a good upbringing gave me choices alot of young people don’t have.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 13th, 2012
11:31 am
if he repeated it, then he was cheating, because all men don’t cheat, just a lot of us
SH – Believe me, I already knew that. Now I hear he’s trying to walk the straight and and narrow with his new chick. His mom apparently doesn’t like her and wants me to try to break them up. Folks from the islands I tell yal. (Not going to happen) I told her she needs to find a way to deal with her if that’s who he so chooses to be with.
Comon ¢
November 13th, 2012
11:33 am
kimmie~ Amen! I dated one military guy and figured out very quickly that I was not cut out for that life.
I have a friend with 3 kids and her husband has been deployed for a 1+ twice in the last five years. 
I’m like, you might as well be a single parent because you do it all anyway. Negative! I will have to pass on that.
MsAtl
November 13th, 2012
11:33 am
Morning All!
There are certain things that I think get too much credit. Those are that a beautiful woman can overcome the will of any man; that if your spouse is not a bombshell that is a reason to cheat; that if your spouse is not doing everything you want, you will cheat, etc. etc. Bottom line, some people are predisposed to cheating and some people will cheat no matter what kind of man or woman they have at home.
While I don’t think an affair is geberally a reason to lose your job or career, there are some exceptions. The UCMJ makes adultery a crime. Patraeus knew this and still made a CHOICE to have an affair. Not to mention, his position demands a man of honesty and integrity who is able to resist temptation.
Yes the military lifestyle can be stressful (on both the member and the spouse). I was a military wife for 16 years and it was not easy. Also, contrary to popular belief, the benefits are not as great as people think they are.
As for Patraeus, he can’t be discharged because he retired. I don’t know that there is any jurisdiction to court-martial him, but there may be some mechanism for him to lose his retirement benefits.
kimmie
November 13th, 2012
11:38 am
Exiled – A lot of those military high school grads barely made it out. They aren’t going to college and can’t find a decent job paying any benefits. For alot of the girls that latch on to them, it’s a step up.
Those that rise in the ranks have more going for them. As far as I know, to get into Officers Training school you have to have a college degree. Those folk aren’t the ones running around with 10 kids usually.
Comon ¢
November 13th, 2012
11:40 am
Well said MsAtl.
kimmie
November 13th, 2012
11:41 am
Great post, MsAtl!
One of my best friends is a former Air Force recruiter, so that’s how I get alot of info about the military. It really is not all some folk think it is.
Button
November 13th, 2012
11:45 am
Exile you mean to tell me you don’t know why your wife married you? wow
Robert
November 13th, 2012
11:46 am
Married men who served in the military for 20 years or more are 80% more likely to be divorced when their service ends. One of the main reasons is because they have a hard time adjusting to the real world when they return to society. They have severe emotional problems which lead to both physical and verbal abuse after they return home. In fact most women who have husbands that serve in the military as a career have higher incidents of “cheating” on their husbands than women whose husbands do not serve in the military.
Questions
Ladies, do you know women who “cheat” on their husband who choose a 20+ year career in the military?
Guys, how many of you served in the military and got divorced when service ended?
kimmie
November 13th, 2012
11:48 am
One of the main reasons is because they have a hard time adjusting to the real world when they return to society.
Robert – Bingo! Don’t know how many times I have seen this. Forget homelife, I’ve worked with ex-miltary and alot just have a hard time adjusting.
Jake-SPJTWB
November 13th, 2012
11:49 am
What up Blog Dudes and Dudedettes…
To an extent we are all powerless to our lustful nature…but it is a choice one makes…I have chosen a committed monogomas path, as this Western culture dictates…but every time let a piece a puddy walk away that I know i should bust wide open….died a lil bit inside….lol
disco
November 13th, 2012
11:49 am
robert – can’t think of any women who cheat through the 20 year mark. most of the chicks I know hold out until the 10 year mark and then they dip.
Exiled!
November 13th, 2012
11:57 am
11:45 Button…given how u chics are so sly,I may never know.
u don’t have a sense of humor do u?
Bluzgirl
November 13th, 2012
11:58 am
No excuse for cheating or for being the one chasing the married person. If you are willing to cheat, then you are not worthy of the love from your partner. I will not tolerate being cheated on. I really don’t think I could forgive a man for doing that to me. You wanna sleep with someone else? End it with me first…
czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪
November 13th, 2012
12:01 pm
Enter your comments here
czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪
November 13th, 2012
12:01 pm
Enter your comments here
czBrat ♀
November 13th, 2012
12:03 pm
sorry, folks. stapler on the ‘enter’ key.
good noon, good people. time to play catchup.
disco
November 13th, 2012
12:06 pm
wrong or not, y’all have to admit that a good cheating story is highly entertaining. one of my play cousins told me that his girlfriend came through the window on him on the downstroke. said his backside was all up in the air and he was nothing but cold busted. I couldn’t do anything but crack up.
Exiled!
November 13th, 2012
12:08 pm
When you watch the tape of this woman on the Jon Stewart show,hearing her blabbering about Patreus then this..banging him….
it’s not pretty…why?
She is so accomplished herself.
Leggs
November 13th, 2012
12:14 pm
it’s not pretty…why?
She is so accomplished herself. = You make it sound like only wanton idiots cheat.
MsAtl
November 13th, 2012
12:14 pm
I know quite a few ex-military families that are intact. My ex was in the military for 16 years. When he got out of the military, I was still there 12 years after he left the military. His downfall was that he entered into a successful second career, he let his “success” go to his head and thought it was his right to have any woman he wanted. And just like Petraeus & a lot of others that make the news, he thought he would not get caught and thought he would not face consequences. He lost his license, career and family behind his lack of self control. With all of the puddy on Atlanta streets, he went “shopping” in his office. He forgot the number one rule- don’t get your puddy and your paycheck in the same place. He would not have me but he would still have his career.
Exiled!
November 13th, 2012
12:15 pm
Disco…that was in the downstairs bedroom during the day and the curtains wide open?
Hopefully the other chic was not moarning!
Exiled!
November 13th, 2012
12:17 pm
Leggs…it’s idiotic when u get caught
And u are an idiot after u get caught.
Before u get caught u the one!
czBrat ♀
November 13th, 2012
12:18 pm
dunno about powerless but men are definitely weak when it comes to women.
temptation and opportunity is a problem, true, but i think ego plays as big a role as any.
have a woman stroke his ego and he’s all to happy to let her stroke anything she wants.
i’ve never met a man who’s sorry for cheating, but i know a couple of them sorry they got caught.
and i’ve not yet met any women willing to admit to infidelity so ….