Should trust be proven?
You know things have become serious when you get access to someone’s home. I can remember the feeling of glee when a guy says, “Let yourself in, I will be home later.” Men don’t trust their homes, cars, or precious possessions with just anyone!
I know many people who wait a very long time before they feel comfortable with someone. One of my friends is dating a guy who is “really great, but has a hang up with trusting women.” I didn’t think it was anything abnormal until the dude asked for the passwords to her cellphone, email, and social media accounts.
Now, why would anyone think this is a good thing to ask for? Apparently, he believes that she needs to prove that she trusts him. The only way to do this is to give full access to him for “spot checks.” The most disturbing thing is that she is actually considering it.
Have you ever dated anyone who went a little overboard with their trust issues? How did you handle it? We all have our hang ups but is this something you think you could deal with?
What would you do if the person you were dating wanted to get access to your personal information?
Do you think that you should have to prove that you trust someone – or is this a jedi mind trick about control?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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148 comments Add your comment
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
12:13 pm
Robert ~ you do realize everyone doesn’t use FB as their minute by minute account of their daily activities. A lot use it just to stay in touch with family, some use it as a way of communicating with other. No doubt some abuse it, but it’s usually women (from what I’ve seen). Haven’t come across any chatterbox men.
disco
November 12th, 2012
12:20 pm
leggs – my brother is the facebook chatterbox man. I cannot stand it and I talk about him all the time. he is a facebook junkie, hours a day each and every day. every time I turn around someone is telling me about something my brother said or posted on facebook. it’s pitiful. he was visiting me a few years back and I happened to see a post where he was commenting about my neighborhood. I had to check him and tell him he had better not ever mention anything about me on facebook again. don’t know if he has or not but if he has no one has ratted him out.
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
12:22 pm
Ok, one point for Robert.
I have a gf that is always on FB, posting everything under the sun, but mostly forlorn love quotes. Anything dealing with relationships bet its on her page. I’m chided for not being on more often. I guess I can look at as a good think I don’t have a smart phone.
Ok, one point for ME
Single and Happy
November 12th, 2012
12:59 pm
Leggs, I use facebook to play poker, I have guy and girl friends that post everything and many like me who post nothing, but that’s their business, I got mine because I’m an amateur photographer, and it it was away to post my pics.
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
1:01 pm
Guess it goes both ways, Single!
Single and Happy
November 12th, 2012
1:03 pm
You know it’s funny how we always blame everyone or thing but ourselves for everyone know our business. Who would know your business if YOU didn’t put it out there!!
Exiled!
November 12th, 2012
1:04 pm
Asking bout Amanda Davis?
I thought u guys were going to ask bout the wife who spends a year in Afghanistan,banging David Patreaus then writes a book titled ‘All In’
How apt,what kinda bragaddacio is that?
To the husband,’In your face!’
Comon ¢
November 12th, 2012
1:20 pm
Leggs/ S&H~ While y’all joking about FB, we found out this weekend that the hubs 14 year old cousin is pregnant via FB.
Then her grandma wanted to know who told us. Ummm… your granddaughter? It’s on FB. She still didn’t believe us and we had to pull up ol girl’s page for her on Sat night. Talk about blowing your buzz…
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
1:24 pm
And I laugh at the commercial of the guy asking what’s going to happen in his day before it happens so he can be prepared and the girl talks about him not updating his FB status after one date. He looks at her knowing she’s crazy, but probably wants to bang her. Good grief, I sound like Ex!
Exiled!
November 12th, 2012
1:42 pm
I think adults who Facebook adnausieum are so lame.
IJS
Comon ¢
November 12th, 2012
1:44 pm
Ex~ Agreed. I mainly use it to keep up with friends all across the country and overseas, but the people who feel the need to post every moment of their life are lame.
Exiled!
November 12th, 2012
1:48 pm
So Common,if I ever were stopped by a cop for DUI the smart thing is to not do the breathyser?
Because I have,a time or two,gotten outa a pub and feeling,hey I drank a tad too much.
One time I came outta Echelon or Harriston,can’t remember and had to buy Fries at that MickieeD and waited in the Parkin lot for a tad to let the liqor simmer down.
The gin was eating my womb like crazy!
Single and Happy
November 12th, 2012
1:56 pm
Ex, comon, you know we have to feel important, facebook isn’t the only place people do that.
Comon ¢
November 12th, 2012
2:10 pm
Ex~ Never blow. That’s the rule. No field sobriety. Hell, limit your conversation. You WILL go to jail that night, but in the long run, it works out much better.
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
2:14 pm
Comon ~ isn’t it true that if you don’t blow or take the field sobriety test it will help to determine what type of sentencing/probation you get? Meaning, doesn’t a judge look favorably or unfavorably on those who take these tests compared to those who don’t??
Single and Happy
November 12th, 2012
2:17 pm
Comon, the field sobriety and the conversation worked in my favor the only times I’ve been asked to take one.
disco
November 12th, 2012
2:22 pm
my understanding is that you avoid the breathalyzer because it’s documentation, avoid the field test for the same reason since it’s usually recorded. get arrested, sit in the “drunk tank” and let you high die down and they don’t have as much on you.
Comon ¢
November 12th, 2012
2:23 pm
Leggs~ Not really. The judge can think whatever s/he likes. It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove. If there is not field sobriety and no breathalyzer, there is no evidence. Then it comes down to a matter of calibration of the machine, how the officer did in his POST certification test, etc. The down side is: if you get one of those officers who shows up to an ALS hearing you will have to make the deal with the devil. He will let you keep your license if you plead guilty to the DUI. Fortunately for most people, the officer doesn’t show up to the ALS hearing.
Single and Happy
November 12th, 2012
2:25 pm
Now disco, how many drunks actually thing of all that (LOL) usually the first thing they do is swear they’re not drunk (LOL)
disco
November 12th, 2012
2:27 pm
S/H – you’d be surprised at how many drunk drivers are actually well educated professionals who really do know their rights (translation: know how to beat the system).
Single and Happy
November 12th, 2012
2:30 pm
Disco, those are usually the career DUIers, not their first time at the rodeo.
Comon ¢
November 12th, 2012
2:34 pm
S/H~ Actually, not true. There are many educated people who understand their rights and while they may be above the legal limit, they are in no way impaired in their driving ability. IDK about you, but I am perfectly capable of having one beer at the local bar and driving myself home. However, according to the State, at that point I am too impaired to drive myself home.
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
2:38 pm
It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove – Wasn’t coming from a point of what is known. Much like nolo contendre. To not take the field test, breathalyzer, or even blood work may work against you. Do you think judges look at your reluctance as possible guilt?
Single and Happy
November 12th, 2012
2:39 pm
Comon what is the limit now, one of the times I had to blow, I had 2 Bacardi and coke and wasn’t near the limit, but this was also in Al about 25 years ago.
disco
November 12th, 2012
2:46 pm
I only ever had to blow in a breathalyzer once. I was under-aged up in the club when the spot got raided. everyone had to blow. lol.
Comon ¢
November 12th, 2012
2:47 pm
S/H~ The legal limit in GA is .08. In other words, you could swallow too much Listerine in the morning and be over the legal limit.
Leggs~ People could have a variety of reasons for no blowing and doing field sobriety. Therefore, there is nothing to be inferred by the refusal of the test. It’s not what you think you know; it’s what you can prove and beyond a reasonable doubt.
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
2:50 pm
Therefore, there is nothing to be inferred by the refusal of the test. I suppose like nothing to be inferred when one pleads the Fifth. I definitely am aware it’s what you can prove beyond a reasonable doubt. Tks.
DuShawn
November 12th, 2012
2:52 pm
……disco – “I only ever had to blow……. once” I’m suprised. I would’ve thought you were an expert at blowin by now.
Single and Happy
November 12th, 2012
2:54 pm
I’m glad I started using the alcohol free Listerine (LOL)
disco
November 12th, 2012
2:58 pm
dushawn – don’t you just love the ellipsis? alas things aren’t always what they seem. lol.
Comon ¢
November 12th, 2012
3:06 pm
Leggs~ Exactly. However, in the public’s mind, when you plead the fifth, you have something to hide. Same thing with refusing field sobriety and the breathalyzer.
Du~ Oh she’s an expert alright… **wink, wink. nudge, nudge**
S/H~ I switched to Soft Mint for exactly that reason.
Exiled!
November 12th, 2012
3:06 pm
Dushawn..maybe Disco spits more than she blows or is better at that.
Disco will luv but have some loathing as well
Spit!
DuShawn
November 12th, 2012
3:12 pm
Aint nuttin like some good, drunk, sloppy……. breathalyzer
Exiled!
November 12th, 2012
3:15 pm
I have only been cuffed one time…and it was pleasant..left ms with a um in my mouf.
DuShawn
November 12th, 2012
3:16 pm
All it take is one well placed innuendo to change the entire direction of the conversation…..We have gone from DUI to in your eye.
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
3:19 pm
All it take is one well placed innuendo to change the entire direction of the conversation…..especially if Ex is lurking.
disco
November 12th, 2012
3:20 pm
D – hence why I said you have got to love the “dot dot dot”. lol.
by the way, Ex, spitting is just nasty. one should be either all in or all out.
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
3:23 pm
and they prefer that you have it all in…ba da bing!
Comon ¢
November 12th, 2012
3:24 pm
disco~ Concur! Ain’t no alf-azzing up in here. If I like you enough to polish the knob, well spitting just ain’t ladylike.
DuShawn
November 12th, 2012
3:26 pm
disco- spitting is nasty…but slobbering is welcomed.
Exiled!
November 12th, 2012
3:28 pm
Wasn’t pleasant
disco
November 12th, 2012
3:29 pm
I don’t know D. I guess slobbering is a wee bit better than spitting but that’s nasty too. y’all gotta try it neat. like a martini, straight up. lol.
Single and Happy
November 12th, 2012
3:30 pm
disco I was thinking the same thing, spitting is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.
Exiled!
November 12th, 2012
3:31 pm
I like that ‘polishing the knob’ bit Common
cba
November 12th, 2012
3:33 pm
Ex- I guess Patreaus’s paramour caught feelings…….
All that hard work and honor……puff, gone
Leggs
November 12th, 2012
3:47 pm
I don’t intend to come across as mean, but Pateaus’ wife let her appearance go or rather fade into the comfortable looking woman I see on TV. I feel sorry for those women who forget men are visual creatures and don’t do the upkeep themselves. No, I don’t know if she has health issues that prevented her, and I’m not excusing him for going elsewhere. IJS she too has an obligation and just because you’ve taken vows, one shouldn’t think it’s a slam dunk and you now got your man or woman!
Comon ¢
November 12th, 2012
3:50 pm
Leggs~ I think YOUR name is going to be “straight-no chaser” now!
Exiled!
November 12th, 2012
3:52 pm
I think the slobbering ain’t nasty to the dude but for the mouf shuffling coz of extra saliva.
disco
November 12th, 2012
3:54 pm
leggs – not only that but you factor in the fact that temptation is a muther and that a certain type of woman is very determined and doesn’t give a hot diggity dang about a wife at home. not to mention once a cheat, almost always a cheat. he probably had other affairs but this is just the one that is “newsworthy”. I agree though that a chick better keep it tight. competition is fierce.
kimmie
November 12th, 2012
3:57 pm
Leggs – Hate to say it, but that’s the first thing I thought of when I saw her too, especially seeing the pics of the mistress. No, he ain’t much to look at either, but he’s a powerful man in a poweful position and looks like he’s in shape. No excuses given to him by any means. But I be damned if I let myself go like that, especially having all that money! Shoot, he’d have to work hard to find someone a step up from what he already had at home if it was up to me!