Bad money habits concern you?
I have a friend, Victor, who is wondering if he should be concerned about his girlfriend’s money habits. She never pays for anything – doesn’t even offer to. She buys extravagant things, spends a lot of money eating out, and he doubts she even knows what a savings account is.
They have not been an exclusive couple for long, so he has only been observing her spending habits in the last few weeks. He has not questioned her about it yet, but fiscal responsibility is really important to him. He grew up poor and has always been very smart about saving money, living within or below his means. I think he should immediately go and talk about this with her. If it bothers him that much, it is best to go ahead and have the conversation to see how she views money.
Do you think that a person’s money habits should be looked at when you are dating?
Have you ever dated someone whose poor money habits were a red flag for you?
If someone has a different idea about money and financial responsibility, do you think it could be a deal breaker for you?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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320 comments Add your comment
Leggs
November 9th, 2012
11:21 am
Guess that’s why Tina Turner’s song “What’s Love Got To Do With It” was such a big hit.
DuShawn
November 9th, 2012
11:21 am
“Old Too Fast and Smart Too Late”…..Rarely do young men truly grasp the concept of financial responsibility. You want a crash course in money management. Try being out of work, with stacks of bills, dead broke, exhausted all unemployment benefits, refrigerator is empty, your kids crying because they’re hungry and your woman looking at you like…you the man …do something! Those are the times that break men’s spirit. That’s when you turn to the only resource that you still have….The Most High….. and pray for help. As a man, when you have faced that type of adversity it scares you. I’m terrified of being destitute. I can’t think of a word powerful enough to describe the feeling of watching ones family do without. When you come through something like that, you will undoubtedly be a good steward of every dollar you are blessed with from that day forward.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
November 9th, 2012
11:24 am
8:30 PM right? Or are we going earlier since there are no reservations?
Yes 8:30…I haven’t been there before so I don’t know if we should meet earlier(8)…Leggs has been so maybe she can weigh in on that. Legggs?..what’s your thought on that?
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
11:26 am
Du~ From your experiences that was a game changer. For some men, even that doesn’t change the game for them. I know people who do the same stupid isht over and over again. Tax time comes and they get a refund (what the hell is that? You got money for NOT paying in?!?) and they go out and buy big screens and iphones instead of paying their bills up. SMDH… You just can’t fix stupid!
disco
November 9th, 2012
11:26 am
D – that’s the man in you that can own that post. the lesser men will leave the tired woman and hungry children and go find another chick who will feed him and keep him warm. lol. okay, that was part joke and part truth.
leggs – thing is, there’s a lot of folks out there who will tell you that love is all they need. I say more power to them. I have a cousin with 10 kids (literally, 10 kids). six with first baby momma, four with current wife. he doesn’t work, wife doesn’t work. still he thinks life is all good because he loves her, she loves him and they both love all those kids.
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
11:28 am
disco~ What do their non-working A’s kids eat ? Love?!?
disco
November 9th, 2012
11:31 am
CC – I could eat for the entire year off of the food stamps that come down through their house in a month. no lie. they are “programmers”. pick a program, chances are they are on it or on a waiting list to get on it. now that I think on it, when I was growing up my peeps used to call food stamps “love coupons”. guess you can eat with love. lol.
czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪
November 9th, 2012
11:32 am
When you come through something like that, you will undoubtedly be a good steward of every dollar you are blessed with from that day forward.
one would think so, right? unfortunately, some thrive on the “excitement” of always being in the lurch.
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
11:32 am
Yeah, they “love” the fact that all these people are going to work so that they can eat…
Leggs
November 9th, 2012
11:33 am
bluz – be careful. dude hollering out he’s broke is a fishing expedition. he’s testing the waters. – Absolutely.
Bluz~ When he cries broke, do you commiserate with him or what do you say – I would like to know too. Because how you answer dictates to him his next steps.
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
11:35 am
I would like to know too. Because how you answer dictates to him his next steps.
Exactly!
Bluzgirl
November 9th, 2012
11:36 am
disco/Comon – I just said “I’m sorry” or “That sucks.” The other night when he said he was still broke, I didn’t even reply to that…
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
11:36 am
Bluz~ What does he o for a living?
Leggs
November 9th, 2012
11:38 am
I think we should meet earlier. Especially if we’re going to be eating. I don’t want to eat so late (but that’s just me. I think 7:30 is good. Post time you feel better with, folk…7:00, 7:30 or 8:00.
disco ~ I can love myself and I do. Sure, not the physical way a man can, but I’d rather have financial security than a broke man who loves me. Financial security coming both of us, not just from me or just from him. It’s a two-way street! Like Gwen Guthrie (?) said way back in the 80’s, “no romance w/o finance.”
MsAtl
November 9th, 2012
11:40 am
It kills me when folks say they love someone so much that they would be happy living in a cardboard box with the person. Ummm, I don’t think so!
Slim- you remind me of that change counter machine in Kroger that takes 8 cents off every dollar of coins.
Comon- Amen on the big screen tax return mess; what the heck is that? What about the folks that use a personal injury lawsuit as their personal get rich quick lottery? I had someone tell me that when she got her settlement, the first thing she would do is buy jewelry and then pay off whatever bills she could with the rest. Are you kidding me?
Btw- on a fluke, I checked on that ABC news video with my ex talking about financial infidelity. 4 years later, it is still online. LOL.
Bluzgirl
November 9th, 2012
11:42 am
Comon – He just got a job with a marketing company trying to sell DirecTV to people who walk into Sam’s, Costco, etc. BUT…he has not done well with it, so I believe they told him not to come back. He said yesterday that it was back to job hunting.
He may be fishing, but the fish ain’t biting!
DuShawn
November 9th, 2012
11:44 am
When I observed most of my date’s money management skills it went like this
-“Dayum baby ..what’s the count on that?”
-Sixty dollars.
-“I got Forty…work with me”
- aight…but only neck-
-“ That’s all I need…meet me in the ally.”
czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪
November 9th, 2012
11:45 am
I checked on that ABC news video with my ex talking about financial infidelity.
disco
November 9th, 2012
11:46 am
lol. I know y’all think (well at least ex does) that I’m the blog hoodrat but even back in my date a hustler days I didn’t date the penny ante hustlers. lol. dude with 5 rocks and some dummies made of candle wax and orajel wasn’t the man for me.
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
November 9th, 2012
11:49 am
@Du
that lesson you spoke on, I (fortunately) learned very early on – before I was financially responsible for anyone other than myself.
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
12:06 pm
Bluz~ Does he have an education? Is he trying to better himself? Job hunting + no skills/education = crappy job. IJS…
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
12:06 pm
MsAtl~ First thing that comes out of their mouths at a car accident? “Imma bout to get paid!” Lawd ha mercy!
Jake-SPJTWB
November 9th, 2012
12:09 pm
What up…interesting comments…I’m in the-hellz yeah money management is important group. I too grew up with not a lot, we were not poor, but we didn’t have any extras. I am fairly frugal, don’t mind spending some cash, but I need value for mine. Each and every dollar, I didn’t get financially stable being a dumbazz with my cash.
Bluzgirl
November 9th, 2012
12:12 pm
Comon – he does have an education. He’s a theater major, which doesn’t help much. He would like to get into theater here, but it’s all union and the cost to get into the union is outrageous! I think he said about $5-7K. He seems driven to find a good job. He thought he would be good at sales, but I had a feeling that job wasn’t going to work out.
czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪
November 9th, 2012
12:12 pm
comon, your moniker always brings to mind “penny” from good times. that is now my visual of you.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 9th, 2012
12:17 pm
MsAtl – Yes, I will gladly be your personal Coinstar machine
Bluz – Um, I know it’s none of my business but I might suggest to leave the dating alone with ole boy until he can get himself together perhaps?? Seems all too familiar of a path with you dating guys that aren’t stabile in that area
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
12:18 pm
cz~ You just made me
Janet Jackson?!? IDK. Leggs has met me. Is that fitting Leggs?
The celebrity (or used to be celebrity) I always got growing up was Debbie Thomas. (Black ice skater from the 80’s)
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
12:19 pm
Slim~ I was going to say it, but I was trying not to be harsh. (disco got on me day before yesterday)
Single and Happy
November 9th, 2012
12:20 pm
Slim, comon, we all were probably thinking it. time to cut your losses
czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪
November 9th, 2012
12:22 pm
no clue on the debbie thomas. might have to look her up.
i get janet or gabrielle union.
Bluzgirl
November 9th, 2012
12:23 pm
Slim – at this point, the attraction has definitely lessened. He needs to get is isht together. I’m tired of the broke men! Like I said before, I’m not all about a man having a lot of money, but I’m not dealing with the absolutely broke men anymore!
I tried to give him credit because he is looking for a job and he did just move here in the middle of the summer. BUT…it’s not a good idea to tell me that you only have $7. What you want me to do about it? Not my problem!!!
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
November 9th, 2012
12:24 pm
might suggest to leave the dating alone with ole boy until he can get himself together perhaps?? Seems all too familiar of a path with you dating guys that aren’t stabile in that area
Cosign…
can we get off the couch now?…
I was going to say it, but I was trying not to be harsh.
You get an A+ for effort Comon
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
12:25 pm
cz~ It’s Debi Thomas (not Debbie) and she is now an orthopaedic surgeon. You can google her.
Bluzgirl
November 9th, 2012
12:25 pm
I need to start dating men who have accounts at the credit union I work it. I can see their credit and their bank account! LOL
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 9th, 2012
12:26 pm
As far as celebs I favor i’ve gotten Tia & Tamara Mowry (Sister Sister) or Aaliyah (when my hair was longer)
Bluzgirl
November 9th, 2012
12:26 pm
Sassy – Enough with the damn couch please?!?! I’m not on the freakin’ couch. I’m really tired of you saying isht like that. I’m just talking about what’s going on and it applies to the topic. Am I asking for advice? NO! Am I asking to be coddled? NO!
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
12:28 pm
Thanks, Sassy!
Before we get off the couch, I must say that this is an improvement for Bluz. From what I’ve read in the past, he would usually be moved up in the crib by now.
Celisea.....smoooooove riding
November 9th, 2012
12:29 pm
LOLOLOLOL….cosign Sassy’s 12:24. I thought the couch had been burned and tossed out back
Still on money eh? Don’t date folks NOT financially responsible. We didn’t grow up with a lot either, but I’ve learned a lot about faith and obedience to God’s will, keeping him first in your life and respecting him will cause you to be abundantly blessed. And let’s not forget favor and keeping the devil off ya back. When he (the devil) comes for you, put God on him That’ll make him back it up!!!
disco
November 9th, 2012
12:29 pm
LOL – bluz. that’s funny. dude told you about his last $7. I think there’s a blues song called my last two dollars. lol.
so, since we are speaking of broke men. sort of on topic, I allot myself X amount of money for entertainment and whatnot. there was a show that I wanted to see. sure, I could have paid to go see it but how come I called up this guy and told him I wanted to see it. y’all know the game. he said sure he wouldn’t mind seeing it. of course, he picked up the tickets and bought dinner. there was a brief moment at the start of the night when he was talking too much when I thought I’d have been better off buying my own daggone ticket but I got over it. am I wrong? maybe. do I care? not one bit. it is what it is.
abc
November 9th, 2012
12:29 pm
Theater major… that qualifies a person for driving a delivery van, same as I was qualified for when I got out of school with my music degree. ‘Course, I didn’t drive a van, I mostly rolled around on tour buses. It ain’t glamorous, really, but it’s what I wanted at the time.
I think you can assume that actors and musicians alike understand perfectly well why women don’t really want them. Maybe for some brief (ahem) mayhem, but that’s about it. Even if a musician is making a living at it, few women want him — almost every tour, when we’d return, one of the guys would go home to an empty house, wife and kids now living with their pastor or something. That one actually happened once.
Leggs
November 9th, 2012
12:30 pm
disco ~ darling. Please believe me when I say this…you are not the blog hoodrat. She was evicted a long time ago (lolol).
I grew up poor and I don’t believe in waste. I don’t waste water, electricity. I try not to waste food, but sometimes it’s beyond my control.
Comon ~ cz said Penny not Janet Jackson (lol). I will say this, you’re taller than Penny, both have pretty teeth and smile, but you boon doonka doonka (don’t even know how to type that) isn’t like Janet’s. Same skin complexion (about). Does that help. You know I’m cracking up.
Single and Happy
November 9th, 2012
12:31 pm
Disco you called him up and he paid, you go girl (LOL) You were supposed to listen to him talk (LOL)
Comon ¢
November 9th, 2012
12:32 pm
Aaliyah (when my hair was longer)
For some reason I can totally see this…
i'm swiss
November 9th, 2012
12:32 pm
Bluz — I know you tend to be drawn to the artsy types, but you do realize that a lot of artsy types tend to be broke, right?
abc
November 9th, 2012
12:33 pm
Leggs, I think you’re talking about badonkadonk.
i'm swiss
November 9th, 2012
12:33 pm
I thought Janet was on Different Strokes? No?
disco
November 9th, 2012
12:33 pm
lol. leggs. you typed “darling” but I heard/read “dah-ling”. don’t know why that’s funny to me.
S/H – you heard me say “y’all know the game”. lol. yep. he paid. I knew he’d pay when I called all innocent like talking about “do you wanna”. whatever. I’ll crack a bad joke. why did god make men? so women don’t have to pay for stuff.
Single and Happy
November 9th, 2012
12:34 pm
swiss, different stroks, good times, and fame,
Leggs
November 9th, 2012
12:34 pm
cz ~ you have a particular flair about you like Janet and Gabrielle, but I think you’re prettier! BTW, dang shame you have to Google Debi Thomas (smile).
Single and Happy
November 9th, 2012
12:35 pm
Disco we would have been sitting in the care saying I thought you had the tickets (LOL)