Breaking up. Again.
Have you ever been in a relationship that went back and forth, on again, off again? It’s one of those frustrating roller coaster rides you end up on and don’t know how to get off. What causes us to keep going back to relationships that we already know we should not be in?
I know a lot women get hooked into the emotional drama that comes with these situations. Men convince themselves that they are happier with the person then without. Yet once you are reunited, all those same problems come barreling back. You end up right where you left off.
Do you think that a relationship with multiple break ups should be saved? It sounds so simple to say, cut ties and move on, but that seems to always get harder each time you reunite.
How do you know when you should break up for good or just take a break? If it is “mean to be” – should it be that difficult to work things out?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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174 comments Add your comment
halo46
November 8th, 2012
11:05 am
disco – I LOVE that movie!!! Definitely watch it. When it came out on DVD, I watched it several times. Was much better than I expected it to be.
Ditto!!! The music is great! I love it. In my personal collection.
abc
November 8th, 2012
11:08 am
I had a girlfriend that was a lawyer — always a debate leading to arguments leading to her storming out. She hated that I wouldn’t argue, and grew weary of all the debates, about everything under the sun and moon. I finally just had enough — I told her she always got mad at me, so why does she want to keep coming back? It took months and months before she finally accepted that someone had actually rejected her. Great rack on that chick, though.
halo46
November 8th, 2012
11:10 am
I’ve concluded that on/off again relationships for me means one thing. I want to win. If we broke up over and over again, obviously he is not the one for me. But for some reason (probably my ego) I just want to be the one who walks aways without feeling bruised. If I allow a man to walk back into my life after he’s proven time and time again that he can’t be trusted, then I’m at fault. I’ve learned to just let it go, and chalk it up to lesson learned. Believe me ladies, those type men are a dime a dozen. The good guys are the ones we should hold on too. Gotta learn that lesson (as in beating my hand on forehead).
Leggs
November 8th, 2012
11:10 am
O/T: Just went to fridge to take chill of my pizza and some freaking idiot ate half of it and put the rest back. Savages!!!!
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:11 am
a lawyer that loves to debate, who’d a thunk it (LOL)
disco
November 8th, 2012
11:13 am
leggs – did you go all eve in barbershop? remember “who drank my damned apple juice”??? you know that’s nasty and now you can’t eat the rest of your pizza because you don’t know who was having at it. that’s the number one reason I do not use communal refrigerators. I carry an insulated lunch bag and it never sees the inside of the office fridge.
comon ¢
November 8th, 2012
11:14 am
S/H~ Hey!!! What are trying to say (Comon rolling up sleeves as she walks up to S/H)
comon ¢
November 8th, 2012
11:17 am
Leggs~ Mix dog food with sloppy joe sauce, put it on a hamburger bun and leave it in the fridge. Bon appetite, Mutha Fer’s! Never happen again after tha!
Leggs
November 8th, 2012
11:17 am
Cadillac Records is a very good music. Soundtrack is good and when Beyonce sings the last song before he walks out (All I can do is cry???), you feel every word she’s singing…beautifully sung!
Pop that movie into the DVD and enjoy!
disco
November 8th, 2012
11:17 am
CC – there’s really no need to take offense. that’s just the “stereotypical” lawyer. let’s face it, there are far more attorneys doing those nice, cushy, lawyerly background type things that involve very little confrontation and never any court time. they just don’t get any of the glory.
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:18 am
Comon, lawyers love to debate, that’s why they love being lawyers, I should have been one as much as I love to also (LOL)
Leggs
November 8th, 2012
11:19 am
I do like that plan, comon!
Willie Dynamite
November 8th, 2012
11:19 am
Morning all,
I’ve only had a few serious relationships. I never went the on/off again route. When it was done it was done. The one I coulda and shoulda (at the time that is) was my Sons mother. She was innocent is the causes of our demise. I should have done right by her but I didn’t.
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:20 am
“Leggs~ Mix dog food with sloppy joe sauce, put it on a hamburger bun and leave it in the fridge. Bon appetite, Mutha Fer’s! Never happen again after tha! “ Unless they like it, people do eat dog food (LOL)
abc
November 8th, 2012
11:20 am
Oh, I don’t know about that, disco; I attended many parties with lots of lawyers hanging around doing lawyer-speak. It kind of turned me off to lawyers, period — but that girl was a lawyer AND a psycho, just one or the other is enough, but both together is a no-go.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 8th, 2012
11:20 am
Folks are too damn grown to be eating other people’s lunch. But maybe they needed it more than you did. Gotta eat right
kimmie
November 8th, 2012
11:25 am
Leggs – That is freaking nasty and a shame!! I hope it makes them sick to their stomache!
disco – I’m like you, I carry an insulated lunch bag with one of those freezer packs in it.
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:26 am
BTW comon, aren’t you 6′+ I’m only 5′5″ you don’t have to roll up your sleeves to intimidate me (LOL) Just don’t slip on my drool (LOL)
disco
November 8th, 2012
11:27 am
abc – my point is that not all attorneys are the in your face aggressive type litigators. some are just your basic run of the mill boring dime a dozen pencil pushers.
slim – if someone was hungry and needed lunch that someone needs to open their mouth and say so. stealing (and it was stealing) is unacceptable.
comon ¢
November 8th, 2012
11:28 am
people do eat dog food In that case, they are some nasty MFers and you need to go the disco route and store your lunch in your desk. That brings into mind those, no hand-washing, open mouth checwing, etc… People. Ewww… just ewww.
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:29 am
comon, Oh have we forgot the meatloaf episode of good times. when in hard times people do what they have to do IJS
comon ¢
November 8th, 2012
11:30 am
S/H~ Slip in your drool? Eww… just eww. You are really going all the way there. I was thinking about lunch, but you have effectively cured that!
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:31 am
comon yea right, your stomachs not that weak, (LOL)
comon ¢
November 8th, 2012
11:31 am
S/H~ While you’re joking, I had an accquaintance in high school that used to eat dog treats. He said that they tasted like cookies.
Yeah, how the hell did you even find that out?!?
kimmie
November 8th, 2012
11:32 am
disco – absolutely, if you are hungry speak up. I usually keep crackers or something I can grab in my desk cabinet, but if I am just hitting rock bottom I will go around the office and scrounge up something from folks or bum some coins and get something out of the vending machine to tide me over. Nobody else’s food in the fridge looks good to me at all cause I don’t know what’s really in it!!
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:35 am
comon, that’s just it, I’m not joking. People have been known to do it, and there probably are some that are out there doing it now. we think its bad because it says dog food, but if you look at the ingredients it’s the same thing you have in your fridge, just not mixed together
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:36 am
Oh comon, was shaggy your friend (LOL) he’ll do anything for a scooby snack (LOL)
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 8th, 2012
11:36 am
disco – Yeah I know…i was being sarcastic…very sarcastic
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:37 am
My son just got fired for fighting with a guy that was eating his lunch, (DA)
Leggs
November 8th, 2012
11:38 am
Don’t think it’s one of my coworkers. I think it’s either the cleanup crew or security guard. Building is monitored 24/7. Doesn’t even matter. I’m done with community refrigerators. An insulated bag is the best route.
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:39 am
Leggs you left it overnight?
disco
November 8th, 2012
11:42 am
slim – oh. sorry. I didn’t detect the sarcasm.
leggs – I have never done the community refrigerators. folks are just nasty and even without the nasty factor after awhile everyone’s little Ziploc, glad, Tupperware containers start to look alike. I know folks open things that aren’t theirs all the time. even if they don’t eat it or tamper with it I just don’t like the whole idea. there’s a good 50% of the folks in my office that I wouldn’t eat behind if my stomach was sticking to my back.
Leggs
November 8th, 2012
11:43 am
Don’t think it warrants fisticuff, but a good verbal, machete induced tongue lashing is on point.
Leggs
November 8th, 2012
11:44 am
Single ~ yes, I didn’t remember until I was on the highway and wasn’t about to turn around. Lesson learned.
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:44 am
Leggs, not my exact words to him, but along the same line. It wasn’t worth loosing his job over.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 8th, 2012
11:45 am
My job provides cases of bottle water to some offices here and mine is one of them. We are one of the few offices that has our own personal mini fridge and others are welcome to get water from our stash. However, what irks me is when they come in here to get the water out of the fridge, slam the door which in turns causes the door not to close all the way. So when we come in the office the next day, the fridge is not closed and the freezer part is all frosted up with ice. Read the sign, STOP SLAMMING THE DAYUM DOE!
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
11:45 am
Leggs if you left it over night all bets are off, it’s fair game. especially if it’s not home made (LOL)
comon ¢
November 8th, 2012
11:51 am
My favorite is the biology experiments that get left in the fridge for MONTHS!!! I don’t know how anyone puts their food in the fridge next to the yogurt that is bound to ask how your morning’s going sooner or later. Yuck!
Leggs
November 8th, 2012
11:59 am
It shouldn’t be fair game. You know it’s not yours, you shouldn’t eat it. Anyway, I got the memo!
MsAtl
November 8th, 2012
12:00 pm
All- I have a solution for the lunch thief. These ziploc bags make your food look moldy.
http://www.thinkofthe.com/product.php?name=anti-theft-lunch-bags
As far as attorneys go- I think I am somewhere in the middle. I don’t usually bite unless I have to.
Leggs
November 8th, 2012
12:04 pm
Too funny on the anti-theft bags. Everything doesn’t fit in a baggie.
halo46
November 8th, 2012
12:44 pm
Read the sign, STOP SLAMMING THE DAYUM DOE!
lmao
Single and Happy
November 8th, 2012
12:57 pm
didn’t have any lunch today, and nothing in the community fridge really appealed to me (LOL)
Leggs
November 8th, 2012
1:08 pm
That’s a good thing, Single. Don’t need to see two ppl from the same family getting into a fight over something like this.
SlimNu: Life always happens
November 8th, 2012
1:23 pm
We had our employee Thanksgiving luncheon today…i’m full as a tick and ready for a good cry and a nap
comon ¢
November 8th, 2012
1:25 pm
Y’all sure is moving slow up in here today…
Robert
November 8th, 2012
1:33 pm
“I know a lot women get hooked into the emotional drama that comes with these situations.”
That’s a bunch of “Mularkey”. The only way a mature grown women (30-40) will keep going back-and-forth to the same Man is because she wants her desires fulfilled (sex, money, dinner dates, etc.). The only emotional attachment is if kids are involved. I know Men who still have sexual relationships with their ex-wife(s) because of the kids as long as the monthly check is in the mail. If the Man fails to put the check in the mail she will immediately cut off the sex and call her lawyer to have him locked up for failure to pay child support. That is a fact.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
November 8th, 2012
1:34 pm
Y’all sure is moving slow up in here today…
I was just thinking the same thing…y’all gone make me go to the gym and do my four miles. I was thinking on waiting ’til I got home but…geesh. I want to go home and snuggle up with my blanket and some hot cocoa(spiked of course).
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
November 8th, 2012
1:36 pm
Must be slow indeed…bitter bobby chiming in and all. Least we’re not on the couch..
halo46
November 8th, 2012
1:40 pm
That’s a bunch of “Mularkey”. The only way a mature grown women (30-40) will keep going back-and-forth to the same Man is because she wants her desires fulfilled (sex, money, dinner dates, etc.).
If mature grown women want sex, all we have to do is make one phone call. one. lol I have my own job with my own money and dinner dates can be had with a snap of a finger. But since we have all of that going on, it’s like abc said sometimes it takes ‘months and months before she finally accepted that someone had actually rejected her.’ We want to win! Plus we think you are kinda cute. lol