Think outside the box?
I read somewhere that women should consider sending a thank you gift after a first date. I’ve never done this personally, but I imagine that is a surefire way to make a great impression. Maybe more women should think outside the box when it comes to dating?
Guys, what would you do if someone gave you a thank you gift because she really enjoyed the date you planned for her?
Ladies, have you ever felt compelled to send a note or thank you gift after a really fantastic date? Would you feel uncomfortable reciprocating a man’s effort that soon after your dating relationship began?
We all can get in dating ruts from time to time! What are some unique ways to think outside the box when it comes to dating?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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337 comments Add your comment
Button
November 2nd, 2012
10:36 am
to some it may come off as desperate but to others like DK it’s a plus.
Leggs
November 2nd, 2012
10:37 am
Now, that’s a switch!
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
10:37 am
Comon they have sites if you just want to look at porn, you can even go on there an put on your own live show. you know what they are counselor (LOL)
Button
November 2nd, 2012
10:37 am
I guess it depends on the sensetivity of the guy. Whether he’s intouch with his feminine side or not.
Leggs
November 2nd, 2012
10:38 am
My 10:37 was in response to Single’s 10:35
Button
November 2nd, 2012
10:39 am
do tell Single.
kimmie
November 2nd, 2012
10:39 am
Slim – You would not believe the benefits I have gotten by simply saying or writing thank you! Good manners go a VERY long way. The methods may change(email vs handwritten) but the gesture is the same!
There is this couple at my church that I would consider a “power couple”. They are very prominent in their careers and the community. I had just finished college and moved back home. They invited me to a 100 Black Men function to accompany a cousin of theirs from out of town. I put a thank you note in the mail the next morning. I guess since we lived nearby, somehow they got the card that same day. When they saw me in church that Sunday they told me they get tickets to alot of events and invite people to things all the time, but that was the FIRST time they ever got a thank you note!
Hey DK!! What’s shakin?
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
10:40 am
Leggs that’s what happens when the big head controls the little head
DuShawn
November 2nd, 2012
10:40 am
On me and Wifey’s first date, she parked her car at a barbershop in Liberty City. She got in my whip and we rode out for a few hours. When we got back someone had smashed her car window and stolen some items from her backseat. She was upset and on the verge of tears. I told her to settle down, got on the horn and called the glass people, paid them a few hundred and they repaired it in about an hour. That was my only after a first date gift.
Exiled!
November 2nd, 2012
10:41 am
10:10 Disco look at you throwing mud on a good nice feminine deed!
U don’t disappoint
Button
November 2nd, 2012
10:41 am
Doooo Dushawn!
SlimNu - Finally Friday :-)
November 2nd, 2012
10:43 am
Button
This same dude ended up getting married and had a baby with his new wife. But anyway, he sends me a “Hey how are you doing” msg one day. Then some kind of way he had to let me know how much he enjoys pulling into the driveway of his 6000sq ft home everyday. Like, why the hell did I need or even cared to know that. 
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
10:45 am
Slim, you know that’’s every woman’s dream
Exiled!
November 2nd, 2012
10:46 am
But Kimmie to your nice post,if u have spoken with dude couple of times before first date like u say and then upgrade to a date,there is no desperation there if u send a note.
By that time u two guys are kinda comfy with each other.
I like that actually….
Which brings me to yesterday…going out on a date coz a guy says ‘oh ur teeth look so clean’ and not because there is feelings.@Slim
I miss that!
Button
November 2nd, 2012
10:47 am
he enjoys pulling into the driveway of his 6000sq ft home—ummm is there a receipt for that? pictures? that’s a heck of a utillity bill
SlimNu - Finally Friday :-)
November 2nd, 2012
10:48 am
I have actually had women stop seeing me because I was taking to long to try and get the puddy
SH – But how quick were you to try to give them the wang? There is a difference
Comon ¢
November 2nd, 2012
10:49 am
Slim~ Because you are probably one of the few women who could see past his money to his douchiness. (And yes, I just pulled a Jesse Jackson and made up a word)
disco
November 2nd, 2012
10:49 am
ex – I give you an A for originality. I have been called a lot of names in my day but never a “mudslinger”. first time for everything.
Button
November 2nd, 2012
10:50 am
I have actually had women stop seeing me because I was taking to long to try and get the puddy, that is so unlady like @Single.
SlimNu - Finally Friday :-)
November 2nd, 2012
10:52 am
Ex – Don’t make me add a sidecar to SH’s ride and roll yall both back out at the same time. It’s Friday so get a grip
Meanwhile, back at the ranch……
kimmie
November 2nd, 2012
10:53 am
Du -That was nice. You handled the situation and put her at ease.
if u have spoken with dude couple of times before first date like u say and then upgrade to a date,there is no desperation there if u send a note.
Exiled – You are right, that would seem logical. But you just never know how someone is going to interpret something. I guess you just have to feel the situation out and take a chance sometimes.
Exiled!
November 2nd, 2012
10:56 am
Ok before I roll Slim/Disco:
What’s up with folks who bring their favorite chili source etc to the j o b and dock that bottle and other condiments in plain sight…
Now that’s real greed!
To me that person ain’t thinking bout the job but the 1:00 clock hour!
Just damn greedy folks!
kimmie
November 2nd, 2012
10:57 am
“Is it wrong to date my best friend’s brother?”
That’s the question on essence.com today.
I don’t know. I guess it could be like dating a coworker. All good if things work out, but bad if they don’t.
SlimNu - Finally Friday :-)
November 2nd, 2012
10:59 am
SH – Living in 6000sq ft of space is not MY dream. It’s not like I have 6 kids and need all that space. Plus like Button said, who the hell gonna pay the utility bills. lol
CC – I couldn’t get past his inflated ego long enough to even think about pondering on the what-ifs of his money. lol He was just too much for me…And if Jessie can do it, everybody can wordmakeuppers
SlimNu - Finally Friday :-)
November 2nd, 2012
11:02 am
Ex – Sounds like you’re mad no one offered you any…Greed indeed lol
Leggs
November 2nd, 2012
11:02 am
kimmie ~ you know I am a proponent for thank you cards. I remember when my child sent one to her grandmother for the Christmas gifts she received. Mama called me saying she was so touched because it was the first thank you card she ever received from any of her grandchildren.
DuShawn ~ that was very nice of you. But then again, aren’t you the one who bought a washing machine/dryer???
SlimNu ~ nice spin…how soon was he offering the wang! Don’t get your drawers in a bunch, Single, really referring to guys who do that and not see it as a turnoff…not necessarily you.
disco
November 2nd, 2012
11:05 am
kimmie – I’ll bite re the essence question. is it wrong? no. I don’t think so. of course it can work or it can backfire. I think what the person is really wondering is if the friendship can survive in case the relationship doesn’t. I can’t speak to that. I do have a childhood friend whose mother tried long and hard to hook me up with her son (friend’s older brother). when I was young I didn’t think much of it. after I graduated college I moved to the dc area where this particular brother lived. we immediately arranged to hook up/hang out. we kicked it, he cooked me dinner, had a great time. still it never occurred to me to date him. years later my friend got married and the mom was again back to her matchmaking trying to get me and her son together. no haps. he married some other chick that the family can’t stand and even with him married the mom insists that it won’t last forever and that I’m the one for him. why did I never date him? not sure. when I was young I don’t think I was mature enough to take him seriously. when I got older I was probably still stuck on my color-struckness. lol. he’s on the pale side. guess I’ll never know how that could have played out.
kimmie
November 2nd, 2012
11:07 am
Leggs – Yep! And the older generation does not take too well to “calling” to say thank you either! They’ll take it, better than nothing, but they really expect a card/note in the mail!!
Button
November 2nd, 2012
11:08 am
DuShawn ~ that was very nice of you. But then again, aren’t you the one who bought a washing machine/dryer??? Dang DuShawn you’re handing out goodies like that? You are ubber generous sir.
Exiled!
November 2nd, 2012
11:08 am
No Slim..I don’t care for lunch really but umm..
SlimNu - Finally Friday :-)
November 2nd, 2012
11:09 am
But then again, aren’t you the one who bought a washing machine/dryer???
I have no idea why I found that sooooooooo funny??? All of a sudden I heard Big Boi’s voice in my head tombout, “takin them h0es to the Cheesecake factory, letting order strawberry lemonade and popcorn shrimp. They ain’t doin nothing but trying to take all yo mutha suckin cheese!”
SlimNu - Finally Friday :-)
November 2nd, 2012
11:10 am
Ex – Where are my manners? Would you like some community chilli? lol
disco
November 2nd, 2012
11:10 am
re thank you cards. I’m all for sending them after receiving gifts, after job interviews, after being treated to special things/events/occasions. still, can’t say I’m on board with a thank you card or gift after a date. like kimmie said earlier, it had better be one bomb diggity type date to warrant all that.
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
11:14 am
Slim, it actually takes me months when I’m looking for a relationship I like to get to know the person before all that happens.
kimmie
November 2nd, 2012
11:15 am
disco – That’s wild, because I had a similiar situation, but this was a cousin of my friend. Same difference though, because they were close as brother & sister.
Even though he was a nice guy, I just couldn’t get into it. I think I thought of him too much as almost like a brother!
I have 2 best friends I met freshmen year in college. One had a brother that was a freshman as well. My other friend went out with the brother on the sly. They were hot and heavy there for a few months and then it fizzled. When the sister found out, she laughed! She said if she had known she would have told her up front she was wasting her time. She said “he’s my brother but he is a dog”! The friendship survived fine though. He’s married to a chick nobody in the family can stand though!LOL!!
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
11:15 am
Thanks leggs, you got it
Exiled!
November 2nd, 2012
11:16 am
If Dushawn pens a book ima buy it,his story telling is rich.
Uall are distracting me,it’s Friday but I got things to handle.
Sorry Slim I forgot u one of the skinny chili ladies that dispense that to other folks in the breakroom come lunchtime
SlimNu - Finally Friday :)
November 2nd, 2012
11:16 am
SH – So you know yourelf VERY VERY well huh? Do me a favor….hold your hand out and see if it’s automatically curls into a C-shape
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
11:19 am
“Is it wrong to date my best friend’s brother?”
Sure, but when he starts being an a$$ don’t complain to you your best friend about him!!
Slim I roll alone (LOL)
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
11:21 am
Ummm curls up in a C shape, you mean the way WE grip EVERYTHING (LOL)
kimmie
November 2nd, 2012
11:22 am
Funny Single! I agree, that’s one less shoulder for you to cry on!
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
11:23 am
Kimmie, hell from the grandkids, I would love a call!! most of the time you can’t even get that!!
DuShawn
November 2nd, 2012
11:24 am
@Button- Dayum.. The blog memory. That was a stove and fridge. It was for a needy and deserving single mom with an infant child. She had a small apartment with no appliances. She was keeping the child’s milk in a cooler and cooking on a hot plate. I was glad to bless her with that gift(even out some of that bad Karma coming my way)……….Besides, it was a good investment. It paid tremendous dividends in neckwork.
kimmie
November 2nd, 2012
11:26 am
Single – Yeah, one of my older aunts is complaining she doesn’t even get a call anymore & wants to cut off gifts to them. It’s a few she’s sent gifts in the mail out of state, and she said she doesn’t even get a call to let her know they got them!
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
11:29 am
Kimmie I actually did that one year, and my oldest grandson was about 7 at the time, reminded me I didn’t send any of them a present that year. I reminded him I never got any presents, thank you or anything else.
Single and Happy
November 2nd, 2012
11:32 am
Dushawn think it and it goes away, post it and it’s here to stay (LOL)
Exiled!
November 2nd, 2012
11:35 am
Disco:
I have always wondered if neckwork is a Win_Win? From a chic perspective.
When I get old like Larry King,that’s the only thing I wanna do..sit back on a cushion and enjoy then roll to sleep.
I think u the only one,including Common,who can give me a respect answer from a chic perspective.
By the way Disco u didn’t tell me if u like grass..skip if that’s TMI
Exiled!
November 2nd, 2012
11:36 am
Realest answer meant to say
Button
November 2nd, 2012
11:39 am
LOL lawd help! DuShawn yous a mess! imma call you Mr Good deedShawn
disco
November 2nd, 2012
11:45 am
ex – again I say you crazy man. but, I’m still going to humor you and answer your question. first off – I get that you think CC and I are real but I hope you don’t think we are the reigning neckwork champions. lol. second – I don’t blaze. never have, never will. never even smoked a cigarette when I was kid and most kids were sneaking and smoking cigarettes. I can roll though. and I can make cookies if I have to. what – you testing my street cred up in here? lol. back to neck work. is it a win-win? yes, no, maybe, it depends. this one depends on the people involved. if you have a chick who is down with it and actually prefers it because she’s really not into you like that no more but she’s comfortable in the lifestyle/benefits you are able to afford her then it’s a win win because she gets to knock you off real quick and easy and still enjoy the perks. if you have a chick with a bad gag reflex or who isn’t into doing it or who really wants to be intimate with you it won’t be a win win. she’ll feel cheated, used, neglected. it can’t work.