Can I date more than one person?
One of our readers, who is new to Atlanta, emailed me to get the MIA blog’s opinion about juggling dates. She has few friends in the city and has decided to do a little online dating. So far, she has met a few good men that have great potential. The trouble is, she doesn’t want to narrow it down right now.
They are all actively pursuing her and expressing interest in something serious. It’s a great problem to have, no! While she tries to figure out her best option, she is feeling a little guilty about dating so many guys at one time. She asks, “Can I date more than one guy? Should I let them know they aren’t the only one I am seeing?”
Personally, I like to go by the Golden Rule, do unto others. Would I want to know if there were multiple women jockeying for time with the same guy? (I would). What do you guys think?
Does it bother you when the person you are actively dating is seeing other people? At what point would you expect to be the only one?
If a guy finds out that there is another man interested in the same woman, do they usually back off or step up their efforts?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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327 comments Add your comment
Single and Happy
November 1st, 2012
2:18 pm
Leggs, we’re talking a different type of bad boy!
Lady~must be nice!
November 1st, 2012
2:18 pm
C you funny honey! lol
Comon Cents
November 1st, 2012
2:22 pm
S/H~ What type of bad boy? Sean P. Diddy? Immature toddler? What? Help me out here, please…
disco
November 1st, 2012
2:23 pm
dushawn – re your moms and thanksgiving – that’s what I’m talking about.
swiss – my niece is a Christmas eve baby. she has already started making calls reminding folks that December 24 and December 25 are two separate days.
CC – here I go.
Single and Happy
November 1st, 2012
2:23 pm
C, immature toddler that needs to be spanked (LOL)
i'm swiss
November 1st, 2012
2:24 pm
Sassy — Aw, snap! So, I gather that means you wear your B-Day Suit every x-mas eve?
Leggs
November 1st, 2012
2:26 pm
No we’re not Single (lol). You talking a different bad boy (lol).
Celisea.....snuggling weather :)
November 1st, 2012
2:26 pm
Lady – Girrrrl, I’m so happy to get a moment to breathe
I did…was going over the pages one night and just burst out laughing at Slim. That comment and another one she made, I wanna say yesterday and something disco said a couple of days ago…I can’t remember. It’s much funnier reading over a days worth of blogging
Single and Happy
November 1st, 2012
2:27 pm
Umm leggs if I’m talking on type and your talking another, would we be talking about a different type of bad boy??
Celisea.....snuggling weather :)
November 1st, 2012
2:29 pm
Not over “a days” but days of blogging. I was reading this morning and a couple of days ago.
disco
November 1st, 2012
2:30 pm
S/H – re bad boys. like LL says “bad meaning bad or bad meaning good”? lol.
Leggs
November 1st, 2012
2:31 pm
You talking about a type, Comon, kimmie and myself talking about another. Nothing to turn into a deep convo, Single! Let the joke ride….
DreamsMaterialize
November 1st, 2012
2:31 pm
Come on 5pm. I’m looking for you…don’t try to run.
Sassy Me...Disco Lady ;-)
November 1st, 2012
2:32 pm
she has already started making calls reminding folks that December 24 and December 25 are two separate days.
EXACTLY! You can’t imagine as a child only receiving ONE gift from some family members…it’s like “Do I open it today and have nothing for Christmas, or wait ’til tomorrow and have nothing for my birthday?”..how unfair
I gather that means you wear your B-Day Suit every x-mas eve?
I make it a point to Swiss…for at least a couple of hours
Single and Happy
November 1st, 2012
2:32 pm
Disco bad in meaning tie me down and spank me (LOL)
kimmie
November 1st, 2012
2:32 pm
I would like to make an announcement:
I’m a BAD GIRL!!
LOL!!!
I mean really, if ya gotta tell people…….
Comon Cents
November 1st, 2012
2:33 pm
disco~ I know you need to chime in on the “bad boy” thing. I would have thought you would have beat me to the punch… IJS
disco
November 1st, 2012
2:35 pm
sassy – such is the burden of the xmas eve baby. I say deal with it. lol. my niece is crazy though. she’s not even putting in specific gift requests, just wants folks to acknowledge two separate days.
kimmie – I thought of Bernie mac “I’m a ba-a-a-ad man”.
disco
November 1st, 2012
2:35 pm
CC – oh I gots me some good bad boy memories alright. mmm hmmmm. I shole do.
Bluzgirl
November 1st, 2012
2:37 pm
This day is going by way to slow and I have to work the Rush concert tonight, which is outside. I’m gonna be a popsicle when I get home!!!
kimmie
November 1st, 2012
2:38 pm
disco – I miss Bernie!
Bluzgirl
November 1st, 2012
2:40 pm
One of my good friends has her bday on Christmas Eve and she said it was tough growing up because family and friends would always just give her one gift. When we were close, I would make sure to give her two…one wrapped in bday paper and the other in Christmas paper.
DuShawn
November 1st, 2012
2:41 pm
Anybody else watch the Sons of Anarchy series. Is it just me or is that the rawest shiznit on TV. If you not hip, cop the box set of prior seasons and catch up.
Leggs
November 1st, 2012
2:41 pm
Bluz, don’t get any ideas about those popsicle toes…I’m cracking up.
i'm swiss
November 1st, 2012
2:41 pm
Sassy / disco — We might as well name the little one Merrill Lynch, ‘cos she is definitely the “financial planning” baby. We’re gonna make sure she arrives before the end of the tax year & before the calendar rolls over on our insurance deductibles..
Bluzgirl
November 1st, 2012
2:42 pm
LOL Leggs!
Sassy Me...Disco Lady ;-)
November 1st, 2012
2:43 pm
such is the burden of the xmas eve baby. I say deal with it
Is your birthday on 12.24? Oh okay…
just wants folks to acknowledge two separate days.
That’s basically it in a nutshell…help her deal with that by respecting her wishes…no biggie..lol
disco
November 1st, 2012
2:44 pm
swiss – now you and the mrs. are funny but I ain’t even mad at y’all. here’s a shout out to tax credits. lol.
Comon Cents
November 1st, 2012
2:45 pm
swiss~ LMAO! I will tell you what my doctor told me when I was preggers: “You screwed to get in this situation and you need to screw to get out of it”
Apparently, there is an enzyme in seamen that eats away at the cervical mucus (not to gross anyone out) and if you are close enough, the combination of the nut and the big O will push you into labor. Medical fact why you and Mrs Swiss should be getting on… You’re welcome.
Sassy Me...Disco Lady ;-)
November 1st, 2012
2:46 pm
Anybody else watch the Sons of Anarchy series. Is it just me or is that the rawest shiznit on TV
It is Du..but I was hooked on Nip/Tuck,too…every episode had me like
We’re gonna make sure she arrives before the end of the tax year & before the calendar rolls over on our insurance deductibles..
Only yoU Swiss…but on the real, have you two picked out names yet?
disco
November 1st, 2012
2:46 pm
sassy – in the general scheme of things I get it. I truly do understand. what little miss missy (niece of mine) needs to understand is that every gift (bday or Christmas) is a gift and she needs to appreciate what she gets. no one owes her anything. if she gets separate gifts, great. if she only gets one gift, also great. if she gets nothing, oh well. life lessons start early.
Robert
November 1st, 2012
2:47 pm
My “Bad Boy” comments were a reflection of female attitudes towards single men. I used my married friends as examples because no married woman wants her husband hanging around a single man with access to lots of women. She will feel insecure. In her mind I am a “Bad Boy”.
Her husband does not want to leave me alone in his wife’s presence. He knows how I think and operate. He knows his wife is attracted to “Bad Boys”. Once upon a time he was a “Bad Boy” too before he got married. We are still friends. I love them both. I know how to keep my distance.
Sassy Me...Disco Lady ;-)
November 1st, 2012
2:48 pm
True Comon…
i'm swiss
November 1st, 2012
2:52 pm
Comon — Oh no, I can’t tell her that… We’re having a scheduled c-section (since Mrs. Swiss had fibroid surgery not long ago), so we’ve already got the timing covered. She’ll be paranoid about going into labor early…
Sassy — Yeah, we’ve got the name picked. Well, technically, we’ve got it narrowed down to 2 — one that I found & one that Mrs. Swiss found. We like them both, but I can tell you right now it’ll be the name that mommy found…
DuShawn
November 1st, 2012
2:53 pm
Speaking of daughter names, my girls had me watching some viral You Tube video about hood names. Two of the names were Ashy-kneesha and Iwishmydaddypaidhischildsupport-queeda.
Comon Cents
November 1st, 2012
2:54 pm
Robert: I have never in my life called a single man a “bad boy” nor had that attitude. That leads me into believing that (Giving you a pre-emptive “shudditup right here) the reason you are still single is the type of female you choose to deal with. Simple-minded people have simple-minded thoughts like that. My hubs has friends, both married and single, that he hangs out with. I know for a fact that one of his boys scores more trim in a week than most guys do in a year. (In fact, he has shagged several people I know) I don’t have a problem with the hubs hanging out with him because I have to trust my mate to behave appropriately. He’s a grown azz man; his boy can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do.
DuShawn
November 1st, 2012
2:56 pm
Swiss- you may want to consider the name koolaid-dria..lol. that was another one.
i'm swiss
November 1st, 2012
2:56 pm
DuShawn — You ever watch Key & Peele? They had a pretty funny bit on football player names:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gODZzSOelss
I love the token whiteboy from BYU at the end…
disco
November 1st, 2012
2:57 pm
CC – to add on to your post. I have seen the women that limit their relationships with single friends because they don’t want to risk having their friends around their men. it’s not always clear if they don’t trust the females or if they don’t trust their man but they don’t trust somebody. lol.
dushawn – your “queeda” made me think of kita. seems like every chick I know named kita is cool as heck.
Leggs
November 1st, 2012
2:57 pm
“Her husband does not want to leave me alone in his wife’s presence. He knows how I think and operate. He knows his wife is attracted to “Bad Boys”. Once upon a time he was a “Bad Boy” too before he got married. We are still friends. I love them both. I know how to keep my distance.”
Don’t mean ANY disrespect, but since you put it out there, this sounds nothing like a bad boy. It sounds like a “dog” trying his best to keep his perverted thoughts about his best friend’s wife in check.
Robert
November 1st, 2012
2:59 pm
@Comon Cents – Your husband sounds like a great guy. You are very lucky.
Sassy Me...Disco Lady ;-)
November 1st, 2012
3:01 pm
It sounds like a “dog” trying his best to keep his perverted thoughts about his best friend’s wife in check.
Y’all goin in on our self proclaimed baaad boooy
We like them both, but I can tell you right now it’ll be the name that mommy found…
Maybe..maybe not. Can one name be the first and the other name her middle name?…compromise/truce…maybe?
Leggs
November 1st, 2012
3:05 pm
You’re right, SassyMe. I’m a good girl who knows nothing about bad boys so let me sit my narrow a$$ down in this corner…
i'm swiss
November 1st, 2012
3:07 pm
Sassy — No truce necessary — actually, I think she should have the final say for a girl & I should have the final say for a boy. Plus, I like the name she found, too. The middle name we already have, though.
Jake-SPJTWB
November 1st, 2012
3:09 pm
I just got back in here, y’all think everything is so dayum funny (Leggs)….sure I missed a bit…catching up
Sassy Me...Disco Lady ;-)
November 1st, 2012
3:10 pm
I agree about the final say so based upon the sex of the baby Swiss and I’m glad you liked what she picked.
As I’ve said before…I remember you tripping about your “baby batter”(your words not mine,but I like it)and now look at you two..about to be three
Leggs
November 1st, 2012
3:11 pm
Yes, sir, Mr. Jake sir, I sho do….
Single and Happy
November 1st, 2012
3:17 pm
Still single ,and far from a bad boy, IJS
Comon Cents
November 1st, 2012
3:21 pm
Leggs~ I have to cosign on your 2:57. True. (in my best 2Chainz voice)
kimmie
November 1st, 2012
3:22 pm
Comon/Leggs – I feel both of your posts!!
It does boil down to trust. If I have to regulate to the point that I have to “limit” the friends we hang around, I’m in the wrong relationship. I just don’t have the energy. I know folks that do, but I’m not the one and neither is my hubs. I know plenty folks that do that, so yes it happens, but not in my world.
It goes back to the selection process as well. I dated a guy in the past that all it took was one night out with some of his boys that didn’t have S/O’s to have him acting crazy towards me the next day. He would start thinking he was missing out on something by being committed to me. It would take a few days for him to get back “right” with me. That was exhausting! I had better luck when I looked for men that had friends that led a similiar settled lifestyle. Those friends that were single may have girlfriends and may have kids too. Also, it’s not enough that the married ones are married, they also must be happily married. I dated a guy with almost all married friends and those guys were dogs and constantly dissed their wives.
Same thing with my female friends. I don’t have any “friends” that I can’t “trust” around my boyfriends or husband. Otherwise we would not be friends.