I can remember having a big ugly fight with a guy I was dating because he thought I just “ran the streets too much.” No, seriously. He constantly called it that and it drove me nuts. It’s not like I was popping bottles in the club or anything! I was volunteering, singing in a chorus, juggling day job and my part-time work. I was, well BUSY.

I had no problem making time for him but I had no interest in sitting at home ALL the time. His constant criticism about me being on the go really made it clear how we were not a match.

I always ask my guy friends to cut their dates some slack when it comes to this. Just because a single woman is out on the town, traveling around, and enjoying her carefree life, doesn’t mean she can’t make room for him. A lot of my male friends want to “see” that a woman can come home, cook, and be all domesticated. To them, this is the sign of a mature woman ready to be a wife (I’m not kidding, I have heard this repeatedly.)

Is that really necessary, …

Continue reading Is partying keeping you single? »

My friend Sara is quietly freaking out because she senses a change in her man’s behavior lately. They have not had any major fights, but she said he seems distant and kind of aloof. He’s been this way for a while but it wasn’t until he turned down sex this weekend that she got really concerned.

I am NO relationship expert *cough* but I told her a lot of times men go through things and they just don’t want to open up about it. It does not necessarily mean he has checked out on her emotionally. Still, she worries about his behavior and wonders if they are headed for a break up.

I think a lot of couples hit a rough patch in their dating relationship, some of which come really early on. It can be a double edged sword in that it can either bring you closer together or serve as the beginning of the end. I believe that it is about how you resolve conflict and talk things tough that makes the difference.

That is of course, if you are both committed to it. What should you do if …

Continue reading Relationships: Headed for a break up? »

I am filing this one under: “I hate Facebook.” Do you remember your first love? The first person that made you feel intense emotions? The one that first broke your heart? Well, imagine the person telling you that they don’t remember ANY of that…and barely remember you.

My first love found me on Facebook and sent a friend request. He proceeded to tell me that because of tragic motorcycle accident, he has nearly NO long-term memory. He only remembers that he knew me. That’s it. Ouch, right? Since we have mutual friends, I was shocked that I had not heard of his accident.

I admit, my inner egomaniac/self-absorbed side was kind of devastated to learn that MY role in his life is so ..diminished, now? I actually considered going in and ticking off all the hurtful things that he did to me. How dare HE gets a clean slate while I am stuck with the bittersweet memories? Why can’t I get in on that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kind of action??

Then, I got over myself. …

Continue reading Distant memory to no memory »

Keith is trying to reassure the woman he is dating after he decided not to introduce her to his family at Thanksgiving. They are in a new relationship and things were not at the “meet the family” stage…according to him. She is seeing this as rejection and is now questioning everything and second guessing her feelings about him.

I feel for her, I really do, but she seems to be overreacting and over analyzing the situation. Shocking, right? So yeah, women are known to do this and it isn’t really fair. When Keith is actually being a good guy by taking things slow and not giving her false hope, she is letting insecurities show.

Would it bother you if the person you were dating has yet to introduce you to his inner circle of family/friends? I remember meeting families really early in relationships, but I didn’t think that was a sign of how much the guy liked me. Is meeting the family still viewed as a big deal like it was back in the day?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in …

Continue reading Dating Dilemma: Didn’t meet the family? »

When you decide to focus all your efforts on someone you are interested in, how persistent are you willing to be? I ask because it seems that often times we are quick to cut the person off if they start to become challenging.

Do you believe that being persistent and maintaining pursuit means you come off as desperate or thirsty? If you really like the person the more you pursue them, is it worth it to keep up the same effort?

I know a guy who has pursued the same woman for a year and has not shown any reciprocity. He has become a good friend – at best, but is willing to wait for her. Persistent or deluded?

If you ever find yourself stuck in the friend zone, would you try your chances and hope that being their friend will pay off for you later?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Dating: How persistent should you be? »

Before you go on a holiday dating spree, perhaps it is worthwhile to figure out what your short-term and long-term goals are. When you approach your dating life, having some sense of what you truly want is a good way to get the results that you want. I know what, you’re saying..that’s a no-brainer, Diva! Well, you would be surprised at the number of single people walking around with nary a clue of what they want.

Generally, you meet people who either want to keep things casual or those who want to ultimately move towards a committed relationship. The casual dating folks will say things like, “I just want to kick-it with somebody cool, and see where things go” Or one of my favorites: “I like just going with the flow.” Keep in mind, these are the same people that will try to have sex with no strings attached.

People who want committed relationships are fine with taking things slow. They feel comfortable with the idea of making room in their lives for somebody special. They …

Continue reading Casual dating vs Committed Relationship? »

We can never explain why we are attracted to certain people, while others just don’t do it for us. A lot of the reasons we pass people up are completely superficial and nonsensical, but sometimes we have valid reasons to pause.

Call it instinct or intuition, but we often have to let our gut tell us when to keep it moving. I know for me, the minute I don’t go with my instinct, I end up regretting it later on. So how do we know when to follow our instinct and when to proceed with caution?

Have you ever noticed someone and was contemplating checking them out but decided not to? What was it that stopped you from approaching?

What turn-offs do you spot that immediately makes you rethink pursuing someone you initially thought was someone cool or a “great potential”?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading What stops you from approaching? »

I was having a nice quiet dinner alone recently when I happened to witness an awkward scene happening at the table next to mine. There was a lady celebrating her promotion at work while her man was sitting there practically pouting about her new salary.

Apparently, she had joined the six-figure club, which displeased him because he was not already in it. I didn’t even KNOW this woman and I wanted to tell her to RUN from that guy. What kind of man gets visibly upset when the woman he supposedly loves succeeds? Like, who does that??

Putting my hypercritical judgment aside, I have to wonder why Ms. Six-Figure was disclosing her exact salary to a guy she was only dating? Do you ever tell people you are dating how much you make?

I know some people prefer that men have the “power” in a relationship, but does it matter if a woman makes more money than her man? Does that change the dynamic of the relationship? Should it change the dynamic?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, …

Continue reading Mo’ Money, Mo Problems »

I was having dinner with a group of friends recently when the topic of loyalty came up. A lot of the men believed that a woman who was not loyal or unable to show support, is put in the category for “recreational purposes” only. In other words, they don’t take her seriously.

Most of the guys agreed that when a man sees that his woman supports him and has his back, it makes a huge difference in how he relates to her. It is something that a lot of men value when they have it, and can definitely tell when they don’t. How hard is it to find a loyal woman to date though?

I figured women are already hard wired to be nurturing and supportive. Surely, they meet many women who can have their back, right? Noooooope. Apparently, some women find it difficult to do, and some men think this is the reason their dating relationships don’t work out.

What do you think? Do you generally meet and date people who seem willing and able to be supportive? Do you think this is something that is …

Continue reading Does she have your back? »

A lot of us are taking home dates for the holidays..some for the first time. You may want to prepare yourself (and your date!) for the onslaught of opinions from parents, distant relatives, and/or close friends.

They may have opinions about the way your date is dressed, their manners, or even the way they treat you when everyone is around. When you are surrounded by people that love you, they tend to be a bit opinionated, a tad judgmental about the people that you date. The key is how you handle all those well-intentioned comments and opinions.

What is the best way to handle a situation where your family is putting your date through the wringer? Do you abandon them and let them fend for themselves? Do you run interference and serve as a buffer to protect them from awkward conversations?

Have you ever taken a date home for the holidays and it turned into a disaster?

Would you break up with someone if they didn’t fare well with the “meet the family” introductions?

By Wise …

Continue reading Dating: Other people’s opinion »