My friend Allen is dating a young lady who he really likes a lot. He believes she could be the one…in a couple of years. Allen says his girlfriend has a little growing up to do. Her lack of maturity is shown when she doesn’t get her way, or handles things with little patience.
As he talked, I thought about how he was the same guy friend that advised me not to date a guy for “potential” but accept him as he is. Now, here we were having the same exact discussion ..and switched places. I asked him what he asked me, “What if she never changes? Could you still be with her?”
Although they are only three years apart in age, when you see Allen with his girlfriend, you can’t help but notice the stark difference in their maturity levels. Ah, but love is blind, right? He does not see what I see, just as I had to learn my lesson for myself.
Would you be willing to wait till someone “grew up” and behaved less like an adolescent? Is that one of those things that should be a dating red flag?
How can you tell if the person you are dating are compatible to your maturity level?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
239 comments Add your comment
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
3:57 pm
LOL@Kimmie. That’s why I can’t watch that show. I’ll be tired as heyal, trying to relax, but when that show comes on, I’m up an at ‘em, scrubbing something. (((((shudder))))) And that Extreme Cheapskates is just as bad. You pee in a jar and throw it outside???? Where dey do dat at? Cheapy McCheapster. Ick.
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
3:58 pm
SH – I see you made it back up that hill
kimmie
October 30th, 2012
3:59 pm
Willie – Yeah, it’s kinda crazy isn’t it?? LOL!!!
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:01 pm
Fellas- I hope y’all are paying attention. This isht is waaaay deeper than leaving the toilet seat up. Wow!!!!
I was wondering which MLB would be the first to say this.
disco
October 30th, 2012
4:01 pm
leggs – there are a lot of hands in this one. on one hand this relative lives close to the streets (real hood like that), anything is possible. on the other hand, this particular relative has an uncommon name. hard to confuse. on the other hand, this relative has more than one alias. (I know it sounds crazy but it’s real). I could go on with the other hands. I’ll make calls after work but I’m sure it will turn out to be a misunderstanding.
slim – Cincinnati
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
4:02 pm
Took a whole lot tryin’….just to get up that hill…. Now Stamps up in big leagues….gettin’ his turn at bat….
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:02 pm
You’re right…
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
4:04 pm
This isht is waaaay deeper than leaving the toilet seat up.
WD – You’re probably right, as funny as that is. It may just be that day where your mercury has reached the top and we explode like kimmie said. It’s days upon days, or weeks of TRYING to ignore the clutter, the tissue under the roll, the stuff in the middle of the floor, the extra time on the microwave, pee on the toilet seat, having to come home after sitting in traffic for two hours only to be greeted with, “What’s for dinner?” when you get there, then helping kids with homework or reports they knew about a month ago but are trying to do it the night before it’s due, THEN at the end of the night when you finally get a moment of peace, here comes Mister tombout his weenie is hard and he needs your help to deflate it.
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
4:06 pm
ITL –
Exactly what I heard in my head when I asked SH that question lol
Single and Happy
October 30th, 2012
4:06 pm
WD that’s why I like living alone, I have to remind folks when they come to visit to leave the dang seat up, you’re in a mans house now.
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:07 pm
You summed that up nicely, SlimNu.
Mrs. SexyCool
October 30th, 2012
4:07 pm
(lmao)
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
4:07 pm
Slim is preggers. I’m saying it right now.
kimmie
October 30th, 2012
4:07 pm
Slim – I am over here CRACKING UP at you!!!
You have definitely helped me to leave here with a better attitude!!LOL!!
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:08 pm
Funny you say that Single because I asked a guy why he left the seat up in my bathroom and I’m the only one who lives there.
Single and Happy
October 30th, 2012
4:08 pm
ITL, Slim, tell you the same thing I told a TI in the military when he informed me isht rolls down hill, I KNOW HOW TO STEP ASIDE! :-d (as I watched slim roll down the hill) LOL
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
4:08 pm
Or will be by this time next year. yup.
Single and Happy
October 30th, 2012
4:09 pm
Leggs your house, your rules (LOL)
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:09 pm
That’s right, sir!
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
4:11 pm
@Stamps: Why leave the seat up or down? It looks much nicer, and is much more sanitary, to close it. Have you ever seen the demo of how far those airborne germs can travel???? Nope. Not ITL. I’m not brushing my teeth with the poo poo brush. Ick.
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:13 pm
Right, ITL. All seats should be closed and are in my house.
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
4:13 pm
Amen, Leggs. Gives me the willies just thinking about airborne germs. Ew ew ew!
i'm swiss
October 30th, 2012
4:16 pm
Peeking back in… Couple comments:
On the “men need a quiet space more than women” front: The reason we need a whole separate room (or basement, etc.) to ourselves is that our ladies (lovely as they are) can’t be in the same room with us an not talk.
On the “dude not cleaning the way she likes it” front: I have no problem with Mrs. Swiss asking me to clean something or to clean something differently that I do. But you ladies have to realize that men and women have completely different perceptions of what’s unacceptably dirty. Here’s what Mrs. Swiss does that drives me crazy: She’ll spot something that she doesn’t like (spider webs in the garage, little (and I mean little) smudge spots on the hardwoods in the kitchen, etc. Now, instead of asking me to clean ___, she’ll say nothing & just wait to see how long it takes me to notice it. Now, mind you, by my standards, the place still looks fine, so before it gets to the point where I notice & clean it, she’s already pissed off & then will come at me with the old “you make me do everything” line. Which, of course, couldn’t be further from the truth — I’m just not as picky as she is, and thus, I don’t notice sh!t as quickly as she does.
Single and Happy
October 30th, 2012
4:23 pm
ITL and how do all these germs get out? when I flush I’m sitting, not flushing when the lid is down. And know I haven’t seen the demo, because they can find something wrong in anything if you look hard enough! Also remember when the lid is down, it’s not sealed, it still has ways for air to flow in and out!
kimmie
October 30th, 2012
4:25 pm
Swiss – See I’m different that Mrs Swiss. I will go ahead and clean it myself & not say anything unless the kids did it. But it’s all adding up……..
It’s actually gotten a little funny with me & hubs. He will set a cup down or a fork down that he’s used and intends to use again, but before he knows it I have already swooped it up and washed it or put it in the dishwasher. Or, someone will leave some food on a plate and I would have already tossed it when they decide to come back to it. Mind you, it usually looks dried up and totally unappetizing by the time they come back, so I feel good in tossing it!
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:28 pm
How many flush while sitting??? Single, if there’s air flow when lid is down, where’s the air when your buttocks are planted on the lid. The germs have one or two places to go…oh my.
Single and Happy
October 30th, 2012
4:29 pm
S/H rule to live by (LOL) ahhh the way to live a stress free life!
If your’e going to do it and then fuss about it or hold it in, Don’t do it!!
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:29 pm
I can identify, kimmie!!!
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
4:29 pm
@Stamps: Ew.
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
4:30 pm
@Leggs: Your 4:28 is right on!! Stamps got a germ enema….
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
4:31 pm
kimmie – You sound like my cousin…she’s damn near taking your cup or glass out of your hand to wash it before you’re even done. If you get up to go to the restroom or something, you MUST tell her you’ll be rhet back lol
swiss – I’m still waiting for the day the beau decides to take all 40 almost empty lotion bottles to merge the remnants all into one bottle.
Meanwhile, they are just taking up bathroom cabinent space.
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
4:32 pm
One thing I’ve learned with men, if you complain about how they do something, they’ll choose not to do it at all.
See it can’t come out as a complaint….you have to use the sandwich method. Tell him one or two things you do like that he does and ever so lightly slip the issue right in there..then top it off with another thing he does that you like. Learnt that from Dr. Phil (no pun intended).
Single and Happy
October 30th, 2012
4:33 pm
ITL ew at you, you have to stand and look at your before you flush (LOL)
disco
October 30th, 2012
4:33 pm
swiss – your 4:16 reminds of the comedian who joked about dusting. said men don’t dust because how else are they supposed to know where stuff goes. their drinks, the remote, everything has it’s place and the dust particles apparently mark the spot.
i'm swiss
October 30th, 2012
4:35 pm
“I will go ahead and clean it myself & not say anything unless the kids did it. But it’s all adding up……”
kimmie — Mrs. Swiss will do that, too. And then at some point months later, it’ll get thrown back in my face that she had to do such & such. Is it really that hard to just say, “hey, would you mind cleaning ___?” Speaking for myself, it’s not that I think she should be the maid, it’s just that my definition of dirty is a lot different than hers, so I don’t notice it.
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
4:35 pm
if there’s air flow when lid is down, where’s the air when your buttocks are planted on the lid. The germs have one or two places to go…oh my.
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
4:36 pm
LOL@Slim. That’s a man thing, for sure. And leaving one sip of OJ/milk/tea whatever in the pitcher. Really?? Like if you leave that I’m not gonna think you drank it all?
@Stamps: I’d rather risk a glimpse than bathe my booty in airborne e.coli
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:36 pm
Well, it’s good to at least look at your poop, it’s color, it’s shape (should be S shaped), whether there’s seeds, etc. I’m serious…
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
4:37 pm
And that Extreme Cheapskates is just as bad
Yuck…I saw an episode where this lady fed her friends food that she’d found while dumpster diving. My inner scientist cringed at that isht…and truth be told if ANY friends I had ever did that and had the cajones to hell me about it after the fact…I’m kicking a$$ left and right…
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:38 pm
I’d rather risk a glimpse – WTH are you risking (lol). You should look!!!!!
Single and Happy
October 30th, 2012
4:39 pm
Slim the only place the germs go if your buttocks is planted on the lid is down with everything else, when you flush it creates vaccum and sucks everything down. This the same place they would go if you had the lid down.
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:39 pm
And Sassy, did you notice her jacked up haircut she gives herself. Girl, I’ll be throwing blows right along with you!
DreamsMaterialize
October 30th, 2012
4:39 pm
if you complain about how they do something, they’ll choose not to do it at all.
slim Got that right. lol
Fellas- I hope y’all are paying attention. This isht is waaaay deeper than leaving the toilet seat up. Wow!!!!
WD Like X-Clan said, “Deeper than Atlantis”. lol
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
4:40 pm
Speaking for myself, it’s not that I think she should be the maid, it’s just that my definition of dirty is a lot different than hers, so I don’t notice it.
Grasshopper…keep in mind that you’re dealing with an emotional woman right now. Oh and wait til she starts nesting and cleaning EVERYthing..all I can say is don’t agrue or fuss back, just smile and nod…smile and nod.
i'm swiss
October 30th, 2012
4:42 pm
S – shaped turds??? GOT D@MN, that’s got to be a mighty big stretch of pipe, there, Leggs.
Maaaaaaan, on that note, the very best thing about our house is the “his & hers” thrones — on opposite sides of the master bathroom. Some things are just not meant to be shared, even between husband & wife, and what our dumps smell/sound/look like are one of those things…
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:42 pm
Flushing toilet, water particles jump up out the bowl which mean they will plant themselves in you A-hole if you’re sitting down. If you stand by a toilet while you’re flushing it, you can feel the water on your leg. So, if you’re sitting down, your butt should be wet. Am I the only one who feels this way??
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
4:42 pm
Leggs, I was looking at her like WTH?!?!
And she really wanted them to like that isht…just eeeeeeewww..
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
4:42 pm
Heck, where did you really think the convo would go after talking about the proper placement of toilet paper flap (lolololol).
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
4:43 pm
S – shaped turds???
Well actually Swiss your intestines are S shaped…so therefore…
Single and Happy
October 30th, 2012
4:43 pm
ITL, airborne ecoli (lmao) uhhh it came out of you, so wouldn’t that mean you already have ecoli (LOL)