Dating: Grow up!
My friend Allen is dating a young lady who he really likes a lot. He believes she could be the one…in a couple of years. Allen says his girlfriend has a little growing up to do. Her lack of maturity is shown when she doesn’t get her way, or handles things with little patience.
As he talked, I thought about how he was the same guy friend that advised me not to date a guy for “potential” but accept him as he is. Now, here we were having the same exact discussion ..and switched places. I asked him what he asked me, “What if she never changes? Could you still be with her?”
Although they are only three years apart in age, when you see Allen with his girlfriend, you can’t help but notice the stark difference in their maturity levels. Ah, but love is blind, right? He does not see what I see, just as I had to learn my lesson for myself.
Would you be willing to wait till someone “grew up” and behaved less like an adolescent? Is that one of those things that should be a dating red flag?
How can you tell if the person you are dating are compatible to your maturity level?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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239 comments Add your comment
i'm swiss
October 30th, 2012
12:41 pm
disco — Um, well, I can’t speak for others, but on the closely guarded recipes — I can neither confirm nor deny that my chili recipe may contain certain illegal substances. IJS…
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
12:42 pm
I have a friend that had a brother go to jail…he had a facebook page too. Apparently, he must’ve had a cell phone since he was able to upload photos of himself in that usual jailhouse pose
Single and Happy
October 30th, 2012
12:44 pm
Slim, if we changed/grew to suit every person that walked into our lives, we would be forever changing. It’s like when people say I have an attitude problem, no they have a problem with my attitude, they don’t have to be around me, problem solved.
passing through again.
Bluzgirl
October 30th, 2012
12:45 pm
I sure wish I had learned how to make my ex’s (the one who passed away in March) gumbo, crawfish etoufee, and red beans. I never tasted anyone elses that was as good as his!!! When we were together, he didn’t like me in the kitchen with him much. Cooking those meals where his down time…
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
12:49 pm
SH – I wasn’t saying to the change for every person you meet. Every request isn’t the end all be all to who you are. It could be something as simple as requesting your partner to not use excessive profanity in front of them…could be doable, could not be. Ultmately, the choice is going to be yours. It’s not like they are asking you to change your skin color or something…but we don’t have to agree.
MsAtl
October 30th, 2012
1:00 pm
Lol @ Benjamin Buttons. Crazy Buttons was more like it. Certainly didn’t know about all the stylin & clothes folks could buy in prison (not that it’s a bad thing that I don’t know). Slim- “jailhouse pose.” I’m laughing because I know what you are talking about; I’ve seen it on FB also.
i'm swiss
October 30th, 2012
1:03 pm
Slim — Jailhouse pose? I hope that doesn’t involve a shower and a slippery bar of soap…
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
1:06 pm
I’m not about to die over no chilli….but i’ll let you get a flash of the CT just as long as Mrs Swiss approves
Thanks I needed that…I was about to doze off…
we don’t hardly follow a recipe right because we hardly ever have everything we are supposed to have.
Us,too…as long as we had the “main” ingredients we were good. Mommy would improvise and if she never told us, we’d never have known otherwise..
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
1:08 pm
Someone is heating up a pot pie in the microwave…I have not had one of those in YEARS. I guess that’s where the ole toaster oven could come in handy.
swiss – I’m not sure what kind of jail poses you’re used to seeing
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
1:17 pm
Curious ~ did you have difficulty giving up your solitude once you became exclusive with that special person? Meaning from not really having anyone under you or you under them to now seeing this person on a regular, was the adjustment difficult or did you welcome it. Were you easily irritated??
Willie Dynamite
October 30th, 2012
1:20 pm
Afternoon all,
Topic- ole Allen trying to handcuff the chick via the shape, mold and growth method. Allen needs to snap to reality and understand he’s prolly in denial. This chick wasn’t immature when he was goo goo gah gah over her before he smashed. Now that he’s smashed a few times and the newness wore off he wants to place blame on immaturity. Methinks he just didn’t have an exit strategy. Apparent they’ve talked without the desired results. I’m seeing immature behavior on his part.
Side topic- I just made Turkey soup using the carcass from a turkey I smoked over the w/e. no recipe just a lil bit of this and that. If I must say so myself it was the bomb.
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
1:22 pm
I made a pot of soup using the ham bone, navy beans, veggies. I almost OD’d on that soup.
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
1:31 pm
I have hiccups now and I feel like a retard with tourettes. lol
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
1:31 pm
Afternoon, all.
Dang, Willie D. Carcass???? Something about that word just makes me cringe…..
sn: Guess who broke her foot??? Give you three guesses and the first two don’t count….
DuShawn
October 30th, 2012
1:38 pm
“……did you have difficulty giving up your solitude once you became exclusive with that special person?” I’ve been married for over a decade and still have not adjusted.
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
1:40 pm
Yep this is definitely soup weather(along with some other heat creating acivities)…I’m looking up some more recipes on deelish.com and eatwell.com….and they’re quite interesting.
Side note: Office romances are a slippery slope….just saw a couple arguing and now they still have to work together…NO way I’m doing that.
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
1:43 pm
I’ve been married for over a decade and still have not adjusted.
Really…y’all got chirren and everything and you’re still adjusting…interesting. I ran into a couple I know and they’re going through their own thing…they have two children and she wants another but he’s like
He said he loves the kiddies dearly but umm no mo…
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
1:46 pm
I’ve been thinking about catching the sperm flu within the last few months…not sure what that’s all about.
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
1:49 pm
SlimNu is your biological clock ticking?!
I don’t have children and I’m not thinking of catching “the sperm flu” any time soon…actually not at all. But I’ll practice lke a muhg,though
i'm swiss
October 30th, 2012
1:50 pm
“i’ll let you get a flash of the CT just as long as Mrs Swiss approves”
Aw snap! How did I miss that post?
Slim — You can just sext that CT pic on over. If Mrs. Swiss finds it, I’ll just tell her it’s hers. She hasn’t been able to see her puddy for the past couple of months with the baby bump, so she won’t know the difference…
(j/k/b/k/n/r) 
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
1:52 pm
Sassy – Is that what that is, the biological clock? For a second I thought I was developing an early case of DEMENTIA
swiss – I’m not sure how you missed it but I was beginning to think I must’ve shown it to you already
KIDDING
Willie Dynamite
October 30th, 2012
1:59 pm
Consign the 1:38. Hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
Willie Dynamite
October 30th, 2012
2:02 pm
Slim- toaster ovens, sperm flu. Something u wanna tell us or are you still in denial. Seems like you ready, hahaha
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
2:03 pm
Thanks for answering, DuShawn and for your honesty!
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
2:05 pm
Oh, thanks WillieD!
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
2:08 pm
WD – Now i’m going to have R Kelly’s song in my for the rest of the day.
Willie Dynamite
October 30th, 2012
2:09 pm
ITL- oh man you broke your foot? Do tell.
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
2:12 pm
Naw SlimNu that ain’t dementia…you might be ready for real chica
Into the Light
October 30th, 2012
2:16 pm
@Willie D: 99% sure. Going to get an x-ray to confirm. See, what had happened was, I thought I had perfected my dismount from the ceiling fan onto the bed, but the headboard sticks out further than I thought, and……
I kid, I kid. It was a perfect storm of tripping over the cat and the rug sliding…..
Exiled!
October 30th, 2012
2:17 pm
Good neckwork ha Dushawn?
I see,says me, the blind man!
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
2:18 pm
I can’t keep my eyes open or my head straight up.
disco
October 30th, 2012
2:21 pm
willie d – your little of this little of that soup sounds like my grandmother’s “clean out the refrigerator” soup. she’d put almost anything wrapped in foil or in Tupperware over in a pot. no telling what all was in that soup but I tell you it was always right on time after trudging around in the cold and snow.
itl – how about I hurt my left foot and my right knee recently. once I got past the pain the whole thing was kind of comical.
kimmie
October 30th, 2012
2:21 pm
Leggs – I’m still adjusting. Love em all, but err now and then……….
I’m just used to having things in the house the way I like – neater!
DreamsMaterialize
October 30th, 2012
2:22 pm
Hey Everyone.
As far as the topic goes, Allen should know that growing up can mean growing apart or her out-growing him. He’s putting alot of stock into this one. I don’t want to marry somone based on who I think she could be…it’s a setup for disappointment.
kimmie
October 30th, 2012
2:22 pm
Light – Be careful lady!!
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
2:26 pm
It was a perfect storm of tripping over the cat and the rug sliding…..
ITL – If you only knew how many times I almost broke my neck from tripping over the dayum cat
I don’t have him anymore but whenever he saw me about to go into a room, he had this thing where he would try to run past me to go in the room first. TOO many times I tripped over him hurting myself only to then have him run and hide when I started cussin him out lol
Sassy Me...Mi wan go home :-(
October 30th, 2012
2:29 pm
Ahh good old Tupperware…do they still make that stuff? I know back in the day we had a Tuppa-everything…my aunt used to sell it and of course Mommy was her number one customer…
SlimNu
October 30th, 2012
2:29 pm
I’m just used to having things in the house the way I like
I don’t like when the beau puts on a new roll of tissue. He has the paper coming out from under the roll. I like it over the top. Petty I know…
Bluzgirl
October 30th, 2012
2:32 pm
ITL – Oh no girl! I hate that for you. Those darn cats sure like to get up under our feet, don’t they?
Mrs. SexyCool
October 30th, 2012
2:33 pm
Yeah…some days, I have space sharing issues. This morning was one of them. I cleaned the kitchen last night before I went to bed. This morning I get up and it was the scene of late night cooking/snacking.
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
2:36 pm
That’s a big adjustment, kimmie…the cleanliness of others. I hear ya!
I ask because a coworker told me yesterday that she has reconnected with her h.s sweetheart through FB. Both same age and (early 60’s). She’s been on her own the past 12 years and his constant banter via texting is annoying her. He never texted until she introduced him to a smart phone. Now, he’s telling her every dang tidbit about this day from going to the vet, and “now I’m leaving the vet.”
She says she loves him and glad they’re reconnected, she just not used to all the adjustments she’s about to make and how she wished she never introduced him to an IPhone!
kimmie
October 30th, 2012
2:37 pm
Slim – Actually the toilet tissue thing was one of the adjustments I had to make!LOL!!
I like mine going under!LOL!!
DuShawn
October 30th, 2012
2:37 pm
@Leggs – On the issue of solitude, Wifey has come to understand my issue with that. I got married in my mid thirties. I was used to living alone. Even as a child I always had my own room. I truly enjoy my solitude. A couple of years ago, I took advantage of the housing market and bought a bigger home. This house has six bedrooms, four baths and a finished basement. Between wifey and the cockblockas , it’s still hard to find my own space. I literally hide from them. If they’re in our bedroom, I go to the basement, when they come down there, I go on the deck, if they come out there, I go in the bonus room above the garage. If they invade that, I’ll go sit in the garage. I often hear them calling me. I won’t say a word. Finally, wifey will look in my final hiding space, realize that I’m in solitude mode, then close the door and leave me alone.
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
2:37 pm
ITL ~ now you know you have no business making that cat sing Three Blind Mice. You tripped while he was making a run for it.
Mrs. SexyCool
October 30th, 2012
2:38 pm
M always puts it going under. And I don’t know if he does it intentionally or not, but I always change it to going over.
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
2:39 pm
SlimNu ~ I believe the toilet paper flap should be over and not under. I have changed many in my friend’s bathrooms.
Leggs
October 30th, 2012
2:42 pm
Dushawn ~ awww!!! I know it has to be hard for a man with a wife and cockblockas all over the place. Don’t stone me ladies, but I think men need space to unwind, scratch his balls, fart, belch, deep think w/o any of us or his chillin around him.
Willie Dynamite
October 30th, 2012
2:47 pm
Ahh Mars and Venus
Woman worried about tissue over/under
Man buys 250K house just to hv a room to hide alone for 30 mins
Mrs. SexyCool
October 30th, 2012
2:47 pm
I was fairly used to by myself time as well. I love it when M takes GiGi to Petsmart for her bath. I truly have the house all to myself then. And if I’m supposed to go pick her up, I wait until it’s almost closing time.
disco
October 30th, 2012
2:48 pm
leggs – I hope none of your friends argued with their S/O or fussed at their children over your changing the tp. I could just hear a chick fussing about how many daggone times do I have to tell you. and him mumbling about how he didn’t do anything.
leggs – don’t women need that same space? lol. I think the word mom and many of it’s variations can be the most annoying sound in the daggone world. think stewie from family guy. mom. mom. mom. mom. mommy. mommy. mommy. enough to make you want to put a bullet in a kid.