Why do nice girls get dumped?
I received an email from one of our readers that asked, “Why do nice girls get dumped for women that torture men?” – a loaded question for sure. “Brenda” is actually considering becoming less of a nice girl to get a little more action. Bad idea or worth a try?
My concern is that pretending to be something you are not is a recipe for disaster. You can only keep the false personality going for so long, right? Why does it seem that nice girls (like nice guys!) get looked over or put on the back burner?
Would you ever project a more “edgy” image in order to get the attention of someone who was into the bad girl/bad boy type?
Guys, when will a man tend to steer clear of the wild girls and be more open to the nice girls? Are women expected to wait till you get that out of your system?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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168 comments Add your comment
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
11:42 am
Oh, forgot about the eggs. Gotcha!
disco
October 26th, 2012
11:44 am
dushawn – okay. “those” girls. I was just being clear. like I said, I know some girls, especially in a group like that, that would have given you a run for your money. I had a party once back in high school. some guys tried to crash. short version of the story, me and two other female cousins were out on the sidewalk fighting the two dudes who tried to crash. my brother and male cousins and play cousins were around but they all pulled back and were like “the girls got this”. we tore those dudes up.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
October 26th, 2012
11:45 am
Yall tripping those girls didnt actually want fight a grown man. Who does that.
Playa puhleaze…if a “group” of ANGRY SISTA had you surrounded and not ONE threw a lick…sht they’re good. Had it been the right crew…you’s gone learn that day..
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
October 26th, 2012
11:46 am
*SISTAS*
Exiled!
October 26th, 2012
11:47 am
Disco I think Dushawn story is true..when u know u played dirty,your conscience is guilty so u dont wanna fight.
Besides,being egged is embarrassing but harmless when you think bout it.
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
11:47 am
disco
October 26th, 2012
11:48 am
sassy – ya heard? lol. we still talk about how my cousin bust one of the guys in the head with a glass pitcher. it was one of those heavy crystal cut type pitchers that your grandma has for serving guests. her good pitcher. lol. she swung the first blow that set off the fight with that pitcher.
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
11:48 am
I’m with disco and Sassy. Dushawn you lucked up because you were surrounded by the wrong group of women. Point blank.
SlimNu
October 26th, 2012
11:53 am
Speaking on the bad kids topic, when I was young we were not even allowed to fold our arms, suck our teeth, mumble under our breath or slap any doors. Maybe as you get older you get less hard…because my neice seems to tell my mom what to do sometimes. I look at my mom like, Who Are you. You would never let me get away with that. Errry now and then the old mom will come out lol
DuShawn
October 26th, 2012
11:53 am
It went down like it went, if they would’ve swole me up I would put it out there. I’ve shared plenty of embarrassing stories in this forum. Actually, i’m glad they let me leave and it didnt escalate. I was already a felon with a concealed weapon. If them folks would have showed up I would have been scarred.
MsAtl
October 26th, 2012
11:56 am
Slim- I remember stomping my foot at my mom ONCE! Bad enough I stepped on a Jack (metal) when I stomped but I still got tore up as if my bleeding foot wasn’t enough.
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
11:57 am
That’s right, SlimNu. I quickly found out that putting my hands on my hips was not something to do while Mama was talking/yelling at me. Couldn’t utter the word “stupid,” bad things happened if you dared to say you were “bored,” and never, ever suck your teeth. I’m surprised mine were never knocked out.
DuShawn
October 26th, 2012
11:57 am
You know another trip part about that… Imma QUE and they were all Deltas.
disco
October 26th, 2012
11:57 am
slim – I say that too about folks getting soft as they age. my mom and one of her sisters in particular were hardcore and now they are well on their way to becoming pushovers. not quite there yet but well on their way. they claim they can soften up on the grands but I call BS. of course, I’ve got a couple of other aunts that pick up the slack. they are still threatening to cut kids across the throat.
alright then D. your word is bond. lol. whatever you did to that particular girl did you ever do it to another girl?
DuShawn
October 26th, 2012
12:00 pm
Dayum, im getting old. that happened 22 years ago.
SlimNu
October 26th, 2012
12:02 pm
I mumbled under my breath once after my mom had got onto me about something. She was like, WHAT DID YOU SAY? Say it again…Say what you just mumbled under your breath again! Then she hauled off and popped me in my mouth. Then she said, if you do it again, the next time i’m knocking some teeth outcha mouth!
If i rolled my eyes, she’d pop me in the middle of my forehead…if you slammed the door then when you got home from school you wouldn’t have a door anymore to slam lol
MsAtl – I remember I stepped on a toothpick one time. It was sticking up out of the carpet — shag carpeting at that
I had to go to the ER to have it removed.
disco – Yeah that’s pretty much how I feel about my mom. If i’m around them, I call her out on it then she’ll try to beef it up.
SlimNu
October 26th, 2012
12:03 pm
I’m glad my sister will still be stern with her though…tear that tail up but then my niece will go run to my mom or stepdad for sympathy
disco
October 26th, 2012
12:05 pm
slim – I grew up hearing shut your mouth and keep your teeth. while my mother and aunts generally beat the brakes off of me I managed to avoid whoopings by my father, uncles, grandparents. my father choked me good once and I got group whoopings by one grandfather but I knew that wasn’t personal. gramps was like if I come up those stairs everybody up there is getting it. he meant it to. he’d even whoop the kids that was asleep just in case he was pretending to be. lol.
Single and Happy
October 26th, 2012
12:11 pm
“They should have surrounded your ride preventing you from leaving.” I wish a mob of anybody would surround my car thinking I won’t run there a$$ over (LOL)
DuShawn
October 26th, 2012
12:11 pm
Disco…I actually met her in the food court of the building we worked in a few days later and sincerely apologized to her. I told her I was dead wrong and wanted to at least be civil to each other. We agreed we both behaved childishly and kept it moving.
disco
October 26th, 2012
12:13 pm
dushawn – that’s all gravy but my question was did you ever repeat the offense? lol.
DuShawn
October 26th, 2012
12:18 pm
No…you live and learn. It has been a long evolution for me to become the man you are reading today.
DuShawn
October 26th, 2012
12:19 pm
Most of the things I share on here happened decades ago. My current life is like the Huxtables.
SlimNu
October 26th, 2012
12:20 pm
he’d even whoop the kids that was asleep just in case he was pretending to be
disco
October 26th, 2012
12:21 pm
dushawn – I was just checking to see if you learned a lesson. like you said, that whole situation could have gone left. some folks would have gotten nothing from it but a few laughs.
disco
October 26th, 2012
12:23 pm
slim – he never ever had to climb those stairs twice. shoot we were all sniffling and slobbing and quietly blaming each other when he finished. lol.
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
12:24 pm
Since we going back to when we were little, what is the one thing you did that landed you in the hospital for the first time?
Willie Dynamite
October 26th, 2012
12:26 pm
Du- what did you do so dirty to the chick? I have a good idea but wanna hear it from you.
disco
October 26th, 2012
12:28 pm
leggs – got pregnant. LOL.
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
12:28 pm
Dang WillieD, you have an idea??? It could be a host of things a guy did to a girl acting like they’re grown with sense.
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
12:29 pm
Ok, disco (lol). Silly. You were a teen mom.
Single and Happy
October 26th, 2012
12:33 pm
disco, did you get a whooping for getting pregnant?
disco
October 26th, 2012
12:37 pm
leggs – it is what it is. only time I’ve ever been hospitalized. my son has never been hospitalized. had stitches in his head once though.
S/H – not sure if that’s a serious question or a joke question but I’ll answer anyway. i didn’t get a whooping but I’m still convinced that the only reason why is because I was dang near in labor when folks figured it out.
SlimNu
October 26th, 2012
12:37 pm
Leggs – I guess I was pretty cool since the only time i HAD to go to the hospital injury wise was just for the toothpick incident. Any other hospital stay was for tonsils, tubes in ears etc…Now my sister went to the ER several times
When she was little, she tried to climb up on the bathroom counter and ended up falling on that nail the toilet is bolted to the floor with. (It didn’t have a plastic cap over it) Anyway, she bust her lip open and had to get st!tches…Another time, she was running around the pool (yeah the signs says no running) but she fell and bust her head open and had to get more needle and thread lol
Single and Happy
October 26th, 2012
12:39 pm
disco, it was supposed to be a joke, forgot the (LOL)
kimmie
October 26th, 2012
12:44 pm
Happy Friday Blog Crew!!
On topic – “Nice” is relative and so-called nice folk get dumped just as much as so-called “bad” folks. The phenomena is called LIFE. The quicker you realize that the better.
I’m not receptive to the nice or the bad title to describe a person anymore the older I get. Reason is I’ve peeled back the layers from so-called nice people only to find they are not so “nice” in the general sense or just not that special. So you are bland and conservative, a loner with no personality, you never take a chance on anything or just step out on faith and go for what you want, you’re quiet, you have a regular unfulfilling job that covers the bills but you have no money left to do anything fun. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. You feel you deserve a medal for doing what you are supposed to do as an adult in this society. On the other hand, just because you happen to dress a little edgy or provocuive, folks should automatically assume you are “bad” and exciting?
Yet you feel folks are supposed to fall at your feet. Get a clue, okay?
Yes, be yourself and look for others that can appreciate what you have to offer. It really is just that simple.
Exiled!
October 26th, 2012
12:56 pm
U got a point there Kimmie!
Some folks(women) front niceness until u get to know them.
How can u be ‘nice’ when u aren’t even civil with your own fo who u know and they know u?
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
12:59 pm
I stuck a purple crayon up my nose and couldn’t get it out. Rushed to hospital. Then got on punishment. Next hospital visit was when I fell off a discard armchair outside our apartments and got a barrett stuck in my head. Remember the mean Chinese doctor to this day. Blood everywhere. Another punishment. Next time I broke my foot playing punch ball, then broke the cast having the nerve to play punch ball with the cast on. Mama nearly skinned me alive for that one!
Willie Dynamite
October 26th, 2012
1:07 pm
Legs – for lack of finding a better way to put it. You were a lil bad azz kid.
SexyCool
October 26th, 2012
1:10 pm
kimmie – standing ovation, slow clap…that post is gospel.
SexyCool
October 26th, 2012
1:15 pm
If someone dumps you, it means you weren’t for them and they weren’t for you.
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
1:19 pm
Just left cafeteria and we’re joking around when the cashier said her bad a$$ daughter is throwing a party that may land some folk in jail. Why the guy next to me in line said “bad girls, I’m looking for one!” So, guess they’re still in high demand.
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
1:21 pm
WillieD ~ I was a helluva tomboy growing up. Can you believe that?
Willie Dynamite
October 26th, 2012
1:25 pm
Leggs- to answer your ? My guess is that Dushawn treated a chick that thought very highly of herself as just another casual piece of puddy. She prolly told her gf’s all bout him and then he basically dogged her. Based on reading him in the past he prolly didn’t take the gentlemanly route causing her to be cheapened and embarrassed. That’s just my guess. Of course I could be very wrong.
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
1:32 pm
No doubt he dogged her.
SlimNu
October 26th, 2012
1:33 pm
I suppose “bad girls’ equates to “good fun” lol
SexyCool
October 26th, 2012
1:34 pm
Du made her want to break up wit’ herSELF!
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
1:43 pm
Yep, SlimNu!
SlimNu
October 26th, 2012
1:43 pm
Comon Cents sends a hello to the blog fam…Stuck in court today
Leggs
October 26th, 2012
1:44 pm
Dang I know it’s the weekend before Halloween, but did everyone go Ghost!!!