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Dating: I’m so embarrassed!

If someone could find a way to purchase a dating do over, I know a lot of people who would want it. We try to bring our A game, especially on first dates. Sometimes anxiety kicks in and we leave a less then stellar impression.

One of our readers went out with a guy from church this weekend. While they were waiting for valet, her ex-boyfriend approached her and basically embarrassed her. He made a comment about her temper and alluded to her history of property destruction.

In her defense *ahem*, this was a guy she dated in college. She told her date she is not the same girl and tried to downplay it, but she was pretty embarrassed. Should she try to explain the full story to her date or drop it and let it go? Maybe he can see for himself that she is a mature woman now?

Have you ever been embarrassed on a date? How did you handle it?

What would you do if you ran into one of your exes while you were out with someone else? Speaking of, Atlanta is WAY too small sometimes, no?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

185 comments Add your comment

lee

October 23rd, 2012
6:30 am

It has never happened to me, then again i never destroyed someones property. I just walked away. Seems she must of been “something else” for that guy to go out of his way to embarrass her, must still hold a grudge against her.
I think i would down-play it, there are two sides to every story ( then the truth) —

Celise.....happy life!!

October 23rd, 2012
7:24 am

This scenario can be viewed from more than one angle. Perhaps she is guilty but have since grown. Perhaps he’s still bitter……from waaaaay back when. Perhaps he was dirty low down and met his match in her. Perhaps he’s shaking salt on her new thing and hating. Perhaps, perhaps……the new dude should be willing to hear her out since it was brought up. Again, since he took it upon himself to oust her, then yes, at the sake of salvaging and damage control, I would tell “my side” and leave it be. Either he’s going to be in or out. I would not though apologize for my past….especially since it’s the past. As with past indiscretions, past bad mistakes, etc., IMO this scenario should be handled the same. The past is the past.

There’s always his version, my version and the truth lying somewhere in the middle.

Single and Happy

October 23rd, 2012
7:46 am

Jealousy, don’t need no bad talk around me, I don’t need Jealousy :twisted:

Celise.....happy life!!

October 23rd, 2012
7:47 am

To the reader, embarrassed because he kicked it in the street our embarrassed because it was true? Either way, as long as you know you’ve grown past adolescence behavior, don’t sweat it. Perhaps you were that crazy chick men SO love to name us… lol I often believe men ain’t as slow as they claim. Behind 97% of the crazy chicks out there, there’s a man that provoked their behavior….IMO. Maybe you was apart of that 3% that carries the “crazy” trait unprovoked. Either way, don’t be embarrassed. If he cares for you and that’s not been his experience, he shouldn’t be swayed.

Enigma

October 23rd, 2012
8:18 am

Enter your comments hereGood Morning. My ex sabotaged my relationship with a guy I really like. He stayed with me after my ex told him things about me but used it as ammo when he dumped me. It hurt a lot. I think the pain was more about how an ex can get between my relationships. I don’t want a do over. The experience taught me to keep my private life private and not let my ex meet anyone unless married to them. If we didn’t have a kid together, it wouldn’t matter who I’m with but if someone else ends up being my son’s stepfather, he’s going to find out eventually. o I’m w

LeeH1

October 23rd, 2012
8:29 am

This is why men don’t ever want their sweethearts and their wives to meet!

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
8:43 am

Good Titillating Tuesday

I’ve only ever run into an ex waaaaaaaaaay back in the day. This was probably back in 2001 where me and the new guy (which is my most recent ex) were coming out of the movies laughing & talking. As we were walking out, the ex was walking in with his new chick (which he ultimately ended up marrying). We sort of just gave each other a look and kept it moving…no words exchanged, and no introductions. Later on, I got a text from him and he called me a few times but that was the extent of it. Now I have run into guys that I might have went out with once or twice but that does not fall into an ‘ex’ situation. No biggie there either…i’m sure there were reasons why we only went out once or twice.

Celise.....happy life!!

October 23rd, 2012
9:13 am

adolescent not adolescence

I have never run into an ex while with a current boo, that I can recall. Oh wait, there was Alan….he wasn’t a boo, but I had him on “standby.” I’ve said all too often how the kid’s dad just wasn’t working out. We pulled up next to Alan while at the stoplight. Talk about nervous…lol Of course Alan looked as if I’d grown two heads. The kid’s dad? None the wiser…..lol Too, Alan and I had gone out a couple of times……AND THAT’S ALL!! He called later and tried to get snarky….lol He dropped an ultimatum. Naturally I told buddy to kick rocks.

Not quite today’s scenario but all I have.

I’m out.

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
9:15 am

Cel – You just did a drive by…lol

Is it time for a topic change already or are folks coming into work late from staying up to watch the debate?

Celise.....happy life!!

October 23rd, 2012
9:41 am

Slim, I was so nervous…..lol He wasn’t handling his business….lol I was ready to get out. Naturally, being older I just walk away now, if I have to.

Alright, I was suppose to be off today but this added portfolio is kicking my butt….until I can wrap my arms around, no time for play….gotta run

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
9:45 am

Okie dokie chica…CIAO! I’ll just tend to the tumble weeds round deez herrrr parts

disco

October 23rd, 2012
9:48 am

good morning.

you ain’t kidding slim. ain’t nothing popping off up in here.

Bluzgirl

October 23rd, 2012
9:55 am

My recent ex new my previous ex…I was still friends with the previous ex, so there were times we were at the same place at the same time. The previous ex would never say a bad word about me, though. We were great as friends…just not great as partners.

I wouldn’t be surprised about what the recent ex may say about me. BUT…there are many things he did to provoke my craziness. Mags was friends with him and never told me what ex told him, but he said he didn’t hold it against me because he knew how ex was. Ex can say whatever he wants…the truth is that I’m very well loved in our little blues community and he isn’t. He says junk to the wrong person, he’s liable to get a punch to the face. Dang…that would be nice!!!

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
10:01 am

disco – Be vewy vewy careful…them tumbleweeds are dangerous and unruly. lol

disco

October 23rd, 2012
10:06 am

slim – you crazy. I imagined someone all scratched up talking about the tumbleweeds did it. that then made me think of the movie sparkle (new version not old version). I finally saw it and admit it wasn’t bad. the scene when old boy said he was scratched by a cat and then the sisters stepped to him and he was like “what y’all supposed to be her bodyguards” and old girl was like “naw. we some big A cats”. hilarious.

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
10:11 am

disco – I have not seen the new version just yet…I’m a red box girl so i’ll be looking for it soon. I know I loved the original movie though. So anything interesting you care to throw on the wall to see if it sticks?

disco

October 23rd, 2012
10:19 am

slim – if you don’t know me by now. lol. you know I have nothing “interesting” going on. right now I don’t even have anything crazy or entertaining. I gots nothing. I don’t do redbox but I am a huge fan of my neighborhood dollar movie theatre. may go see lawless tonight. saw premium rush last week. gotta be one of the best deals in town.

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
10:21 am

The only dollar theater I know of is in Fayetteville. Are you in that area?

Bluzgirl

October 23rd, 2012
10:28 am

The cheap movie theatre near me has had too many shootings, robberies, and gang activity. It’s a shame…

disco

October 23rd, 2012
10:30 am

nope. I’m in cackalacky. where did the term cackalacky come from anyway? gonna have to google it. and where the heck is everyone? not that you aren’t good company but I’m not sure the slim/disco show will get very good ratings especially when all we are talking about is tumbleweeds and dollar movies. lol.

oh. hey bluz.

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
10:30 am

Bluz – Where do you live again? lol

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
10:42 am

disco – Yeah I feel ya on that but it is mighty strange that there isn’t really anyone in here so far this morning. I’m HUNGRY too.

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
10:43 am

Did yall see the debate last night? Romney started out looking cool, calm and collected. But by the end, he was red, and sweaty almost like he had a sudden brush with bubble guts. :lol:

Bluzgirl

October 23rd, 2012
10:45 am

I live in Duluth…

Hi, by the way!

Yeah…where is everyone?!?! I was so tempted to call in sick this morning, but figured I better go ahead and come into work. I don’t know why, but I always feel guilty calling in…

kimmie

October 23rd, 2012
10:45 am

Hey Gang!

On topic – Never had such issues, thank goodness.

Okay what else yall wanna talk about?

Bluz – you heard anything from the bar guy?

disco

October 23rd, 2012
10:47 am

slim – I watched some of the debate (watched the beginning and then went back and forth). I was straight tripping off of obama’s facial expressions and I was thinking romney’s team should have got him some botox injections before the debate.

disco

October 23rd, 2012
10:47 am

hey kimmie!!!

Bluzgirl

October 23rd, 2012
10:48 am

I couldn’t watch the debate. Those honestly bore me. I’ll read up on it today…

Comon ¢

October 23rd, 2012
10:49 am

Good Morning! (Is it still morning? :lol: ) Whoo, it’s been a long morning! Already been to court, watched my boy get inducted into the National Beta Club and dealt with the girl’s stinky little diva attitude. After commuting to the office I already feel like I have put in a full 8 hours! I may go home early today!

On topic, I am very hard to embarass. Even things that have happened in my past, they are what they are. **kanye shrug**

Bluzgirl

October 23rd, 2012
10:50 am

kimmie – Yes…we talked on the phone last night for a bit. He really does seem like a nice guy. He’s definitely a bit geeky, but that’s ok. Maybe I need someone like that! It’s a change. I’ll give him props that he is definitely pursuing me! He has called the past two days…I couldn’t talk to him on Sunday and was busy yesterday. By the time I could talk to him, he was working. So…we were texting and when he got done with work he asked if we could just talk on the phone, so I said ok.

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
10:58 am

It was a bit hard to get into at first….yaaaaaaawn!

Bluz – Just pace yourself…lions are always intrigued by the scent of possible new blood. Pace, 1 2 3…Pace 1 2 3 ;-)

kimmie

October 23rd, 2012
10:59 am

Bluz – Okay, then continue to let him pursue & when you guys go out let him PAY!! Period!

I love geeks/nerds!!

Comon ¢

October 23rd, 2012
11:01 am

Bluz~ Since MrsSC is not here yet, I will post this in her honor for you…

http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2012/03/loyal-puy-vs-new-puy.html

Make sure you’re not new p_ssy.

disco

October 23rd, 2012
11:02 am

kimmie – I love nerds certainly reads like a t-shirt. lol.

Bluzgirl

October 23rd, 2012
11:04 am

I’m definitely going to pace myself and just go with the flow. It is nice to have someone texting and calling me first! :-)

Bluzgirl

October 23rd, 2012
11:05 am

Comon – I can’t get into that site at work… :-(

kimmie

October 23rd, 2012
11:07 am

Bluz – Doesn’t it feel good?!! It’s the natural order of things. It actually puts you a position of respect.

kimmie

October 23rd, 2012
11:09 am

Disco – It does!! I bet I can find a t-shirt with that on it too! My husband is always finding these crazy t-shirts online. He is a nerd too, by the way!LOL!!

Comon ¢

October 23rd, 2012
11:10 am

Here’s the gist of it, Bluz:

“Men cheat because New P_ssy feels awesome. Not good—AWESOME. Physically it’s all comparable, but there is nothing more exciting mentally than having s e x with a girl you’ve never experienced. It’s like discovering America, snorting Coke, and scoring the winning Super Bowl touchdown all at once. The moment you realize you’re about to smash is better than the actual n u t. C_mming is something we can experience anytime we want if the proper amount of lotion is available, we’re not really chasing a n u t. You can make love to Loyal P_ssy and have better n u ts, but there is no way to recreate the excited anticipation of f__king something new—that’s the dragon we’re chasing.”

disco

October 23rd, 2012
11:12 am

CC – the new P concept always makes me think of Terrence howard in the best man.

i just ate a kit kat. wish i had another.

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
11:15 am

CC – To piggy back off that post, what would yall say if your spouse told you they only wanted to make love to you twice a year but the absolute max would be maybe once a quarter…like once every 6 weeks? :lol:

Comon ¢

October 23rd, 2012
11:25 am

Slim~ I wouldn’t SAY isht. I would go see my attorney and file for dicorce. (Or in my case, I would go and file my own divorce) My theory is always if he ain’t sexing you, he is sexing someone…

disco

October 23rd, 2012
11:29 am

slim – is that a real or a hypothetical?

CC – I understand you are speaking for you but your husband is the “freddy’s dead” guy. lol. I actually know some couples in basically sexless marriages. don’t know if they agreed to it beforehand or if it just happened but I always say every marriage isn’t based on romantic love. some folks get married for other reasons. I imagine if I ever entered a marriage of convenience we might have to work out a schedule of some sort. (hey. I’m just being open minded here)

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
11:32 am

disco – It’s real…not me, but real. When I heard about it i was thinking the same thing. He must be doing someone else, depressed or just no longer into her. She said, his take on it is why does the only way for her to feel desired or wanted by him have to equal him putting his wang in her :shock:

Comon ¢

October 23rd, 2012
11:34 am

She said, his take on it is why does the only way for her to feel desired or wanted by him have to equal him putting his wang in her

Ummm… because that is an expression of your love and desire for me?

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
11:36 am

This is a coworker of mine, which i’m surprised she even told me this….she even remixed Beyonce’s song, “If you like then you should put ring on it”…she goes around the office singing, “If you like it, then you should put your thing in it!” :lol: :shock:

Comon ¢

October 23rd, 2012
11:36 am

disco~ I see your point, but realistically, guys like sex. On average, men think about it at least 7 times a day. So, again, if you are in a sexless marriage, your marriage may be sexless, but I guarantee you his sex life is not sexless.

Bluzgirl

October 23rd, 2012
11:40 am

kimmie – It does feel good. I get the feeling that he’s not just wanting sex either. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s just my gut feeling about him. Seems like he wants to see where things can go with us.

disco

October 23rd, 2012
11:41 am

CC – yep I get it and it is awfully strange for the man to cut the woman off. still, I also know a lot of women who cut husbands off and don’t really care where they get it from. another spin. perhaps there’s more than she’s sharing. maybe she cheated and got caught. a lot of men can’t deal with that but he doesn’t want to leave her either. now he’s “punishing” her.

slim – well, how does she look? did she gain or lose 100? sure most folks say that’s shallow but I’m shallow like that. get with me and gain 100 pounds and it’s over. I’m not exercising with you, I’m not cooking healthier. none of that. I’m out. lol.

SlimNu

October 23rd, 2012
11:41 am

Apparently, they’ve been talking about it lately because of course it bothers her…she said men want sex…If they are attracted to you then that plays out in doing the nasty. But his comeback to her is, well that’s not the case because I don’t. I don’t know what to tell her but she said she does not believe in her gut that he’s getting it elsewhere.