Are you dating a commitment phobe?
No one wants to waste their time in dating. If you want to date someone who actually wants a relationship, then you have to pay attention to certain things. Some people are commitment phobes and unfortunately they don’t walk around with a sign on their forehead, identifying them as such.
To be fair, though, many people don’t even realize they are actively avoiding commitment. It’s buried deep in other behaviors such as being unreasonably picky, sabotaging things that feel too real/good, or those disappearing acts that are oh so sexy.
Some people are happier not being in a committed relationship. That is perfectly fine, of course, but you have to be honest about it. Do you believe people are spending time dating you simply to be in your presence? They could be!
Just be clear that you don’t want anything serious – and don’t say “right now” because that is emotional terrorism. Nothing is worse than thinking someone is going to change their mind and holding on to false hope they will.
How can you spot a commitment phobe? How do you know if you are one?
Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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369 comments Add your comment
Jake-SPJTWB
October 22nd, 2012
4:25 pm
It was a professional/mixed crowd…urban/pop music…none to young, none to old, I’d place the median age at 31, +/- 5years
Comon ¢
October 22nd, 2012
4:25 pm
Enigma~ He really didn’t ask. I think that with the society my kids have been raised in, it would take more than two moms for them to raise their eyebrows. I also have a 19 year old niece that is gay, so this was not new territory to him.
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
4:26 pm
hmmmm
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
4:27 pm
oh, ok
Jake-SPJTWB
October 22nd, 2012
4:27 pm
On the far ends…22 to 45
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
4:28 pm
hmmm
Leggs
October 22nd, 2012
4:29 pm
Anybody been to the events at Skyyboxx? How are those?
disco
October 22nd, 2012
4:29 pm
enigma – your question to CC reminded me of a segment on Michael baisden. they were talking about marriage and the black family. supposedly an elementary school aged boy asked his teacher if “marriage was for white people”. apparently the kid didn’t know any married people. I don’t deny that I laughed. it’s a shame but I can see it as being true as well. you only know what you know.
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
4:32 pm
supposedly an elementary school aged boy asked his teacher if “marriage was for white people”.
I can see why he could think that. Most wedding ads feature caucasions.
I try not to think that way about myself, but sometimes, it’s hard not to
Mrs. SexyCool
October 22nd, 2012
4:33 pm
I can’t YouTube from work. I will try to remember to come back and pick up the link when I get home.
Will the Real Black Mamba Please Stand Up
October 22nd, 2012
4:34 pm
ENIGMA….the reason why more Black women are single is because more Black Men are either running from marriage like the black plague. Or they are running towards other races because somewhere in their mind they were informed that everything but Black is better. And Black women have always taught to be with Black men…therefore making the dating pool a lot smaller.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2012
4:36 pm
disco ~ I thought the boy said “marriage was for white people.” Saying black people shack up more than whites and not many believe in the institution of marriage like white people. I thought that was what the boy was saying.
Mrs. SexyCool
October 22nd, 2012
4:36 pm
There is also the little matter of too many Black women not making commitment a requirement.
disco
October 22nd, 2012
4:42 pm
leggs – I don’t know what he meant by it. I only know what I took from it. I took that he didn’t know any married black people and assumed it was for white people. i could be wrong.
and wait, leggs, he was a small child. lol. maybe he understood the difference between married and shacking but i don’t know.
disco
October 22nd, 2012
4:44 pm
speaking of married v. shacking. I know I recently mentioned my aunt/uncle who got married a few years ago after living together for close to 30 years. when they got married, I like many others was surprised, not because they got married but because I simply assumed they already were.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2012
4:44 pm
Perhaps not shacking (lol), but he may know many relatives who are living together but not married.
Comon ¢
October 22nd, 2012
4:54 pm
Cosign on MrsSC’s 4:36. Also, black women tend to put up with a lot less “mess” on the whole (no offense to anyone) A lot of times in cross racial dating, their women aren’t as wise to the game that our men can run. That’s changing, but for right now it’s still mostly true. Also, they are willing to be more “ride or die” than we are. It’s a difference in how we’re raised.
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
4:58 pm
I’m open to marrying outside my race and I insist on commitments. I just haven’t met the right one yet.
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
5:00 pm
I don’t think black men are running from marriage. A friend of mine is a wedding planner that states most of.the weddings she did this summer were for black couples