Are you dating a commitment phobe?
No one wants to waste their time in dating. If you want to date someone who actually wants a relationship, then you have to pay attention to certain things. Some people are commitment phobes and unfortunately they don’t walk around with a sign on their forehead, identifying them as such.
To be fair, though, many people don’t even realize they are actively avoiding commitment. It’s buried deep in other behaviors such as being unreasonably picky, sabotaging things that feel too real/good, or those disappearing acts that are oh so sexy.
Some people are happier not being in a committed relationship. That is perfectly fine, of course, but you have to be honest about it. Do you believe people are spending time dating you simply to be in your presence? They could be!
Just be clear that you don’t want anything serious – and don’t say “right now” because that is emotional terrorism. Nothing is worse than thinking someone is going to change their mind and holding on to false hope they will.
How can you spot a commitment phobe? How do you know if you are one?
Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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369 comments Add your comment
Leggs
October 22nd, 2012
2:23 pm
Rather, I TRY to stay clear…
i'm swiss
October 22nd, 2012
2:26 pm
It is possible to f__k without knocking your chick up, even without getting snipped. It’s not rocket science…
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:26 pm
I want another child one day. i’m just scared the baby might try to kill me like the first one
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
October 22nd, 2012
2:26 pm
I have just developed a severe allergy.
Me,too
Leggs
October 22nd, 2012
2:26 pm
disco ~ I thought I posted about women couldn’t get their tubes w/o their husband’s consent. Pissed me off when my doctor told me that mess.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2012
2:28 pm
Sounds like swiss is talking about the Rhythm method (lol).
disco ~ I had to get my husband’s permission before my doctor would perform the procedure. What a crock.
Comon ¢
October 22nd, 2012
2:28 pm
Leggs/disco~ The laws vary from state to state and based on a woman’s age and health concerns.
czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪
October 22nd, 2012
2:29 pm
lmao @ disco 2:16. s/o and i have been together almost 4 yrs. he has a key to my door and all, but still asks if it’s ok to eat this or drink that. still asks if it’s ok if he is there when i’m not. i’m cracking up at your post coz it makes me wonder if he is just that polite or am i really that unwelcoming about use and abuse of my personal space.
disco, if you are married or in a relationship of over X years, you do have to have his consent for a tubal. your friend might have gone somewhere where they don’t know her or have her medical records and simply lied to get it done. sadly.
gracias, sassy chica!
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:29 pm
I can usnderstand that. I mean what if she wanted to have children and the husband was doing the snip snip behind her back.
I don’t know about you but I would be ticked
disco
October 22nd, 2012
2:29 pm
leggs – good to hear. at least they are being fair about it. lol. I swear I’d never heard it. don’t know what my friend told her doctor but she managed to get it done before he got back from Afghanistan.
i'm swiss
October 22nd, 2012
2:31 pm
Leggs — If by “rhythm method” you mean pulling out a shooting on her t!ts/azz/face, then yes.
disco
October 22nd, 2012
2:31 pm
brat – she was an unemployed, stay at home military wife. they knew she was married. I think she played the “battered wife” card. not that it should matter. rules are rules. I’ll have to ask her about it someday.
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:31 pm
snip snip behind your spouse’s back is just wrong.
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:32 pm
ALOL at Swiss!
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
October 22nd, 2012
2:32 pm
cz…de nada mami
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:33 pm
what is the fascination with wanting to shoot all over the face
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:33 pm
I meant PLACE!!!!!
Freudian slip
Comon ¢
October 22nd, 2012
2:35 pm
Enigma~ What is ALOL?!? At first I thought it was a typo, but you do it consistently.
Comon ¢
October 22nd, 2012
2:36 pm
I’ve never understood the wanteing to shoot on the face, t!ts or azz either. What’s with that?
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:37 pm
ALOL= actually laughing out loud
czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪
October 22nd, 2012
2:37 pm
what is the fascination with wanting to shoot all over the face
conquering, domination and marking territory.
same fascination they have with every damn thing they do.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2012
2:38 pm
I needed his consent. It didn’t even matter because I would have tormented him until he signed those papers, which is what I did. He was against it as I was against having another baby with him. I had no doubt I was going to win this one!!!!
yes, swiss, I figured that’s what you meant (lol).
Cracking up at Engima…that was a serious Freudian slip!
i'm swiss
October 22nd, 2012
2:39 pm
I can only speak for myself on that one — it’s not that there’s any fascination with it; it’s just that I 1) prefer the fell of bare-back to being strapped up, 2) don’t (or, I should say didn’t in the past) want to knock the chick up, and 3) since I’m pulling out & it’s got to go somewhere, it might as well go somewhere good…
i'm swiss
October 22nd, 2012
2:39 pm
*feel, not fell
disco
October 22nd, 2012
2:41 pm
brat – all I could think about was little boys pee-ing in the snow. in particular writing their names. lol. also my son went through a phase when he was about 6 or 7 where he would literally go outside (from inside mind you!!!!) to pee.
i'm swiss
October 22nd, 2012
2:43 pm
disco — Outside, the boy doesn’t have to worry about being yelled at for not putting the seat down or peeing all over the toilet.
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:44 pm
LOL Leggs at my slip
Comon ¢
October 22nd, 2012
2:44 pm
disco~ We might really be related.
My son did the go outside and pee thing too. (Around the same age.)
swiss~ All I can say is Wow. Just Wow…
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:45 pm
“Outside, the boy doesn’t have to worry about being yelled at for not putting the seat down or peeing all over the toilet”
Man I am so glad the boy doesn’t pee all over the place. And if there is an occasional accident, he knows how to clean up.
I trained him well.
i'm swiss
October 22nd, 2012
2:47 pm
Comon — What did I say?
disco
October 22nd, 2012
2:47 pm
swiss – believe it or not I have never ever fussed at any man for leaving the toilet seat up. never, not once. frankly, I’m of the opinion that the woman who complains needs only to watch where she’s going. how hard is it? now I will fuss up a storm about the person who doesn’t flush but I’ll never complain about the position of the toilet seat. I just never understood that at all.
i'm swiss
October 22nd, 2012
2:50 pm
disco — You are a saint among women.
Fortunately for me, our bathroom has his & hers thrones, so it’s never an issue in our house.
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:52 pm
Disco- I thought about what you posted and realized that men do not ask women to raise the seat, so why should we really ask them to lower it?
Single and Happy
October 22nd, 2012
2:55 pm
“Gosh, I just can’t imagine why any dude would be nervous about being sliced & diced around his w@ng & ballz… ” been there, done that twice
Leggs
October 22nd, 2012
2:55 pm
Hush Engima! You’re jumping ship with no life jacket (lol).
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:56 pm
so, what happens if for years, you are successful with the rhythm nation method and at age 53, the wife ends up pregnant
czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪
October 22nd, 2012
2:57 pm
disco, for the most part i have always felt as you said in your 2:47 post.
until that one night that is just didn’t feel like turning on the bathroom light.
i still didn’t fuss at him though, coz he’s usually very thoughtful about that sort of thing.
it’s just funny that the one time he didn’t bother was also the one time i didn’t bother.
kimmie
October 22nd, 2012
2:58 pm
I just don’t like the “look” of the raised toilet seat. My hubs never leaves it up, but when the boy does it, inevitably there are pee droplets around the rim. Can’t stand it. The kids can’t use the master bathroom unless it’s an emergency. But their bathroom and the others in the house are fair game. Yuck!
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
2:58 pm
random thoughts I think about: If a guy is hitting me up to help him find a job, would it be wrong of me to ask him to help me find a husband?
Single and Happy
October 22nd, 2012
3:01 pm
what if i insisted we had to adopt (or have no kids at all) I’d be singing like Al Green, “Lets Get Married Today” (LOL)
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
3:01 pm
LOL Leggs
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
3:02 pm
“I just don’t like the “look” of the raised toilet seat”
I don’t either , but lately I’ve been overlooking it.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2012
3:03 pm
I just don’t like the “look” of the raised toilet seat. – That’s why I’m thinking kimmie. Not necessarily up or down, fall in don’t fall in, but aesthetically, it simply looks better with the seat down!
kimmie
October 22nd, 2012
3:04 pm
Enigma – If you don’t mind appearing desperate, no it’s not wrong. Would this guy you ask have the same taste in men?
Enigma
October 22nd, 2012
3:04 pm
I bet I would make millions if I patented an automatic toilet seat that went up down with the simple press of a button
Single and Happy
October 22nd, 2012
3:05 pm
enigma, yes it would, you have to find your own husband (LOL)
Mrs. SexyCool
October 22nd, 2012
3:06 pm
My contribution to today’s topic
http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2012/07/real-boyfriend.html
Single and Happy
October 22nd, 2012
3:07 pm
Enigma, that automatic toilet seat was done decades ago in this movie called No Time for Sargents.
Comon ¢
October 22nd, 2012
3:08 pm
Enigma~ If you find him a job maybe he can BE the husband… IJS
Mrs. SexyCool
October 22nd, 2012
3:08 pm
I prefer a closed toilet lid. So, in our house, we don’t go back and forth over the seat being up and actually, we don’t go back and forth over the lid not being closed.
If I walk into the bathroom and the lid is open, I close it. #KindaSimple #PickYourBattles