When men don’t pay..
One of our readers had a second date with a guy she thought was really nice. At the end of the date, he asked her for her portion of the bill. She was bothered by this and is not quite sure what to make of it. What does it mean when a man does not pay for a date?
Their outing was her idea because she was gifted free tickets to an event through work. Getting dinner before the event was his idea, though. So, she feels that he should have paid for her for two reasons: He is the guy and is pursuing her. The date activity was no cost to him because of her work connection.
Fellas, if you don’t pay for a woman, is that a reflection on what you think of her, or how you feel about her?
Ladies, why do we freak out when men don’t spend money on us? What do we think or feel, when a guy spends his money generously – to impress/woo us?
Happy Friday everyone!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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382 comments Add your comment
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:01 am
LOL at Sassy’s use of the emoticon
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:03 am
random: OOHHH I’m craving cookie dough
Single and Happier
October 19th, 2012
11:03 am
Sassy when I say separate checks, I don’t care how you pay
(LOL)
Button
October 19th, 2012
11:05 am
Single on point @ 10:42
Single and Happier
October 19th, 2012
11:05 am
The thing about saying separate check is you better be driving, because it could become a long walk home (LOL)
Leggs
October 19th, 2012
11:09 am
kimmie ~ I was tripping over that too, but know the secret service sees and hears a lot. I liked when she told him “I don’t belong to YOU!” Also laughed when First Lady asked them confirm her list of names with batting their eyes. When batted his eyes then turn around and say “I didn’t say anything” I laughed because we know communication isn’t always verbal.
Single ~ I think it’s real.
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:12 am
Random: did anyone catch Tom Hanks accidentally drop the F bomb this morning on the Today show?
Hil- Air- IOUS!
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
October 19th, 2012
11:26 am
when I say separate checks, I don’t care how you pay
True…which is why I always make sure I have money on a date..regardless of who asked whom. And I like to drive my own car so just in case dude acted up I could always get ghost…
Jake-SPJTWB
October 19th, 2012
11:35 am
What up good people, how ya’ll been….Happy Friday, drank sumthim!!!
kimmie
October 19th, 2012
11:35 am
Sassy – That was the way I was brought up – to always have money on a date.
I am so turned off by money discussions. If we HAVE to discuss who is going to pay, I’m already turned off.
Leggs
October 19th, 2012
11:36 am
http://www.accessatlanta.com/videos/entertainment/tom-hanks-says-f-word-live-good-morning-america/vgDK5/
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:38 am
I would crack up if when the bill came, the dude said ” you see the way my bank account is set up……”
Bluzgirl
October 19th, 2012
11:39 am
Morning folks!
I just got in about 30 minutes ago and it looks like I have a lot of catching up to do!
I had a BLAST last night at the concert. It’s good to know people and be known because my friend and I ended up back stage hanging out with the band. The only downside to that is that I got home after 2:00 and there was no way I could get up at 8:00 this morning! Man…I miss the days of being able to hang like that…I’m sleepy!
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:39 am
Ah Leggs you caught it!!!
I heard something, ran to my TV , pressed rewind on the DVR and was like, oh my lord!!!!
I love that I am back up with the Dish!!!
kimmie
October 19th, 2012
11:40 am
Single – I will say this. If there are separate checks, we’re not on a date. On a date, per my definition, one is treating the other, whether it’s me or him. Separate checks, seperate hearts!
Leggs
October 19th, 2012
11:41 am
My date just cancelled on me for tonight.
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:43 am
Awww Leggs. that stinks
disco
October 19th, 2012
11:44 am
I know y’all hate (sometimes) when food is brought up but I swear I’m so hungry I feel like I might keel over and die at any minute.
Comon Cents
October 19th, 2012
11:45 am
For R. Kelly? I could be in for that, Leggs… But only if we go dutch on dinner.
Leggs
October 19th, 2012
11:46 am
I miss the days of being able to hang like that…I’m sleepy! – It’s called “youth.”
kimmie
October 19th, 2012
11:46 am
Dang Leggs. Is there someone else you can ask? It’s early in the day.
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:47 am
For the folks that feel the man should pay- would you be offended if he took you to McDonald’s and you either paid the bill or went dutch?
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:48 am
At least you had a date Leggs.
That’s better than not being asked at all.
Leggs
October 19th, 2012
11:49 am
Comon ~ it’s for the Steppers’ Ball after the concert. My gf said it was too late for her to “start” going out. Doesn’t mind if she’s already out, but to start especially after going to dinner with another gf might be a bit much. Oh well…
Leggs
October 19th, 2012
11:51 am
At least you had a date Leggs.
That’s better than not being asked at all.
Haa haa haa, I did the asking.
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:53 am
<—-thinks I should try asking to. Sadly, no one to ask
Comon Cents
October 19th, 2012
11:55 am
In re: to Tom Hanks, The Dali Lama cussed at Brown University during a speech on Wednesday. (My brother went to Brown and one of his friends sent him the link) The university is now saying that it was his accent. He actually said “forget”.
Right…
Leggs
October 19th, 2012
11:57 am
I asked a gf UTBH. No biggie.
Comon ¢
October 19th, 2012
11:57 am
So, do you have a backup, Leggs?
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:59 am
Oh, thought you asked a dude
SlimNu
October 19th, 2012
11:59 am
That’s better than not being asked at all. Um, in both situations, you still end up with the same results
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
11:59 am
pray for me all- It looks like they are doing department cuts
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
12:00 pm
I mean
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
October 19th, 2012
12:01 pm
@Kimmie
I hear you, but you know like I do, the discussion of finances (spending habits, goals, and plans) are just as important to a lasting relationship as concepts such as ‘chemistry’, ‘yolking’, and ‘love’.
People can be attracted, of equal ‘yolking’, and so in love – and divorced or not together for long because of money.
#facts
Leggs
October 19th, 2012
12:03 pm
@Comon ~ not yet.
Leggs
October 19th, 2012
12:04 pm
Left a voicemail for another gf. We shall see.
Comon ¢
October 19th, 2012
12:06 pm
Cosign on Dan’s 12:01.
Comon ¢
October 19th, 2012
12:06 pm
Good Luck! Either way, you will have fun!
Comon ¢
October 19th, 2012
12:07 pm
UTBH~ Good luck on the job cuts. That sucks.
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
October 19th, 2012
12:09 pm
Cosign Comon’s 12:07.
Stay up shawty
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
12:14 pm
This looks like fun
http://www.theatlantaprom.com/
Willie Dynamite
October 19th, 2012
12:17 pm
Afternoon all,
IMO if we are on a date I’m paying, period. I don’t sweat stuff like that. I also hate splitting cks at the table. Not a biggie to me. If I think it’s about sponsoring or simping then I act accordingly.
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
12:19 pm
Thanks Common- It freaks me out but I keep remembering that I cannot control the situation.
I just have to do a diligent job search and trust GOD as always.
Comon ¢
October 19th, 2012
12:21 pm
That does look like fun! Going back to prom… Hmmmm
Bluzgirl
October 19th, 2012
12:21 pm
Finally caught up!
On topic…I get the feeling dude must not be digging her. When I won free tix to a show and invited Mags, I didn’t expect him to buy me dinner. We went out randomly after the show and paid for our own meals. Of course…at that point, we were just “hanging out”. It was a date in my eyes, but I didn’t expect it to be a date to him. A different time he and I went out to dinner, I had bought a Groupon (or something like that), so most of the meal was free. He offered to pay the difference and leave the tip.
Anyway…I have no problem offering to pay my portion. It would just be nice to have a guy who declines that offer!
Comon ¢
October 19th, 2012
12:22 pm
WD~ And that’s why you da man!
I used to be here before
October 19th, 2012
12:23 pm
i just need a prom date ~Kanye Shrug~
i'm swiss
October 19th, 2012
12:24 pm
“Fellas, if you don’t pay for a woman, is that a reflection on what you think of her, or how you feel about her?”
Speaking for myself, yes and yes. If I’m digging you, I’m paying. And I’m picking you up, and opening doors and offering my arm while walking, etc., etc., etc….
Howdy, folks! Happy Freaky Friday!
Comon ¢
October 19th, 2012
12:27 pm
Heeey swiss!
Bluzgirl
October 19th, 2012
12:29 pm
O/T – I just read this story and cannot believe anyone made it out of this wreck alive after seeing the pictures of the car!
http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/story/19861500/2-men-injured-in-fiery-wreck-in-alpharetta