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Awful girlfriends make terrible wives?

I found out another test that men like to give the women they date, it’s called the Sick Test, i.e. does she take care of me when I am sick. My friend LC said he happened to catch a nasty cold last week. Ah, but he wasn’t too weak to observe how his new girlfriend was going to handle his illness. He wondered, would she pass or fail?

Unfortunately, she didn’t seem all that concerned about him. She even steered clear of him for a few days because she “could not risk picking up his bug” this week (Ouch?). She still has not come by, only sending him occasional text messages to make sure he is still breathing.

I found it rather funny because I don’t approve of giving people relationship tests. LB ended up getting his feelings hurt and now he is questioning what kind of wife his girlfriend would make!

I think he is being utterly ridiculous but maybe I’m just taking up for his lady friend because I think she’s great for him. Do you think someone who has shown bad girlfriend/boyfriend behavior would make awful marriage partners?

Have you ever second-guessed your dating relationship after seeing something that would probably be too hard to deal with in a marriage?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

486 comments Add your comment

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
7:19 am

WTH, sick test, I’m sorry man up!!!!

‘Have you ever second-guessed your dating relationship after seeing something that would probably be too hard to deal with in a marriage?”
Dating should be about seeing how people handle certain situations! But you shouldn’t be testing someone, you’re just setting yourself up for failure.

Celise.....happy life!!

October 16th, 2012
7:26 am

Test smest!! Sounds like playing games to me. Anyway, don’t go judging folks prematurely. Ya just might pass over someone potentially great. Ask me, I know. I think my new honey is pretty happy right now. I am! And yeah, if he get sick, I’m there in a heartbeat. ITS WHAT I DO :mrgreen: But, don’t test, compare, try, gauge or conclude.

Never judge a book by it’s cover nor close the book past chapter one. Read it……cover to cover.

Exiled!

October 16th, 2012
8:14 am

Dating should be about seeing how people handle certain situations…..that’s Single

Its not a test…that’s Celisea

But the situation(s) and Test presented themselves by way of fate or Act of God not because the guy wanted it to happen and guess what??

The chic failed the ‘ I Care’ test!

My colds used to be really severe,once a year..some years past. Not anymore tho…and I would be confined to my crib.

My chic,now Queen would pass thru,bring me some lemons,and offer to buy me some soup etc,whatever she deemed necessary to alleviate the pain. She didn’t go ‘Disco’ on me! :lol;

Trust,if dude wants a more softer,caring type,that woman ain’t the type. Uall talk of intuition..,the guy’s is telling him things tight now.

Better heed that warning.

She maybe more interested in his pocket.

Better yet,maybe he should text her(the real test now$ and text her,saying, ‘babe,I hit the lotto!’

You’ll see the bia leaving work to come thru and ‘visit’
:lol: :lol:

SlimNu

October 16th, 2012
8:16 am

Good morning,

Shout out to Leggs for her EOD dedicated to me yesterday. ;-)

Exiled!

October 16th, 2012
8:18 am

right now

Text(repetition there)

Uall got it tho

I used to be here before

October 16th, 2012
8:21 am

I think that peforming certain tests to see if the one you are with is the one is too much game playing. That type of stuff is for children.

If who you are with treats you right, you enjoy their company, and they bring value then that’s all you really need to know if they are going spouse or not. There is not magic costume that is put on the minute you say I do that changes your mate into a super spouse.

Saying I do do does not drastically change a person.
Whom you see is whom you get.

So maybe the girlfriend didn’t show strong support while the guy was sick but has a ton of other great qualitites. Does that mean you throw the baby out with the bathwater?

I heard something from a movie last night that put things in perspective. A woman chose to stay wiht her husband after he cheated on time becasue ” I stayed for the million things he did right and did not leave because of the one thing he did wrong”
Granted, if you cheat on me- it’s a deal breaker but the message the woman put out there that she said for a million things right and did not leave for one wrong thing put it in perspective.
Say, this woman’s one wrong thing is that she can’t be a nurse to the guy when he’s sick but there are a million other things she does right. Would you dismiss her because of that one wrong thing?

I used to be here before

October 16th, 2012
8:22 am

typo: going to be a good spouse or not

Celise.....happy life!!

October 16th, 2012
8:30 am

Mmeello – I say “right now” because we’ve teetered, “I” was unsure about going all in. I sort of kept him hanging. I made the decision to go all in. Right now, I’m happy I did…..and so is he!

To your 8:18 if that was for me :)

Toddles!

Comon Cents

October 16th, 2012
8:40 am

I’m with C on this one. I think a test for your relationship is BS. Besides, you could have the other side of that coin; the girl who makes an EXCELLENT girlfriend and turns out to be a horible wife. :D

Go0od Morning!

Into the Light

October 16th, 2012
8:41 am

Morning, all

@Slim: I saw that EOD yesterday; that was a nice one. :) I hope it encouraged you.

Exiled!

October 16th, 2012
8:53 am

Hey Cel

COmmon…who is testing who…not the guy.

Testing is fake,contrived etc to gauge a reaction

I thought dude is truly sick…and chic is showing her colors.

Comon Cents

October 16th, 2012
8:54 am

ITL~ I agree that we can disagree without being disagreeable. Good Morning!

Comon Cents

October 16th, 2012
8:56 am

Ex~ You are probably old enough to remember this. Remember back in the day (probably middle school for me) when you called yourself liking a guy and you would test him by having a girlfriend call him on 3-way while you listened in? I never engaged in that behavior either and thought it was stupid. This strikes the same chord with me.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 16th, 2012
8:57 am

I’m sure the lady didn’t want to catch the damn flu did he think about that. Can’t handle a cold without whining, folks do for themselves when they’re sick all the time. If he’s not bed ridden then get off your ass man and think of something better to do than test people.

Good Morning:

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:02 am

Black, you know how some men are, they become the biggest babies, and expect the S/O to mother them.

When you’re dating someone you should keep your eyes open and your mouth shut! See if they have the qualities you desire in a mate, and make sure that you can deal with the ones you don’t like.

Celise.....happy life!!

October 16th, 2012
9:02 am

Heeey there Mmeello :)

Alright, gotta get to work…….I’m out

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:03 am

Comon, way to make me fell old, when I was in the sixth grade, if you had 3 way calling they called that a party line (LOL)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 16th, 2012
9:04 am

As far as an awful girl friend goes, yes she can check on me and that’s all I will expect. I’m not holding her responsible for my illness so that doesn’t make her a bad woman becasue I realize she has a life too.

Comon Cents

October 16th, 2012
9:05 am

S/H~ Well, I guess that makes me old too, cause I remember the party line. Remember New Edition? She ain’t got no party line! The situation’s on my mind! Oh! I just can’t take it anymore! Mr. Telephone Man… :lol:

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:07 am

comon, another one of those stalker songs (LOL)

Into the Light

October 16th, 2012
9:07 am

Good morning, CC.

Daaaang, BF. :) Don’t hold back now……

On a serious note, I tend to fall into the “mother hen” category when an SO is sick. Making sure he has the right medicine, making him soup, getttng his comfy socks and pjs, etc, etc. But I don’t think it’s wrong for this woman to not want to expose herself to the flu/cold, etc. What I think is wrong is him assuming that she’s flawed because of her decision.

I used to be here before

October 16th, 2012
9:07 am

If this is a new relationship, it could make sense as to why she may not be there front and center taking care of this guy’s cold.
When things are brand new, you tend to hold back some. He may view her as his girlfriend but his actions could tell something very different.
In that case, as a female you don’t want to dive head first into full girlfriend/wife duties for fear of being used or taken advantage of..
If dude went to work or out with his friends earlier and is playing the invalid role- the girlfriend could be feeling like if he was well enough to do that then he’s well enough to take care of himself.
I think there are two sides to every story.and some things may have been left out.

Into the Light

October 16th, 2012
9:09 am

@Stamps: Did y’all use the soup cans and string or wooden box with the receiver and crank on the side???? LOLOLOL I kid, I kid….

Into the Light

October 16th, 2012
9:10 am

AND….some folks (like my mom) just want to be left alone when they’re sick. They don’t want the pamepering/babying/constant checking. Maybe this girl is like that, so she was giving him what she would want if she was sick……

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:11 am

ITL the mother hen (hmmmmm) maybe I need to find me one of those

Comon Cents

October 16th, 2012
9:12 am

S/H~ Right up there with “Every Breath You Take” by The Police… :lol:

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:14 am

Comon, yea that isht will get a restraining order these days (LOL)

I used to be here before

October 16th, 2012
9:17 am

you know what. People have a hard time communicating their needs.
All he had to do was tell her, look I’m sick would you mind taking care of me- I would really appreciate it.
Her actions and response would let him know right then and there if she was one that could accomodate.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:20 am

Used to be, he was testing her, wanted her to act like a mother hen! (playing games)

Leggs

October 16th, 2012
9:21 am

I’m going to start with this from Used To Be:

“Leggs and ITL, I was givinng you all the eye roll because you all were acting all smug thinking you know who I am but I doubt you really know.”

First and foremost, wasn’t acting smug. I welcomed you back with sincerity. Was simply stating that I believe I know who you are. It’s not that important. There wasn’t any smugness to my post. I may be wrong, I may be right. For now, I’m sticking to what my gut is telling me. And the fact that you thought I was smug, tells me you’re very sensitive. Hell this is a blog, a computer. I can’t see you so I can’t confirm anything.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 16th, 2012
9:23 am

Single you got that right I don’t get sick often and I’m knocking on wood for that, I catch colds like everybody else and live through them. I wouldn’t expect my wife to care for me hand and foot over a damn flu. It’s ridiculous a man can’t be a man even when his sick.

Comon Cents

October 16th, 2012
9:25 am

Good Morning, Leggs!

Personally, I think your first post this morning was a little smug…

I kid, I kid. :lol:

Into the Light

October 16th, 2012
9:27 am

@Stamps: Yeah, we mother hen types are good….to a point. It’s easy to find yourself doing too much for someone, and then coming to expect it rather than appreciate it. IJS….

halo46

October 16th, 2012
9:29 am

If your girlfriend is controlling, whiny, and always wants her way, then DO NOT marry her. Even if you are so in love that you get sick or depressed when she’s mad. Just ask my brother all about that. lol

I used to be here before

October 16th, 2012
9:30 am

Single- rolling my eyes at dude.
Game playing should be left in elementary school- unless he’s light in the loafers :lol:

Into the Light

October 16th, 2012
9:31 am

LOL@Leggs. You go, girl! I think it’s hilarious that I got lumped in with that, when I have no idea who UTBHB is…..

Although, it is interesting that she had the opportunity to tell us, and declined.

C’est la vie. Until further notice, I guess she is whoever we think she is. :wink:

I used to be here before

October 16th, 2012
9:31 am

Leggs0- not sensitive.
anyway, I’m over it. If you know me- good for you. here’s a cookie
If you don’t know me- which I’m sure you don’t , then just get to know me.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:31 am

ITL, I know me, and I really wouldn’t like one of those. I wouldn’t tell my own mother when I broke my ankle cause I didn’t want to be bothered (LOL) Now I will take care of my S/O when they are truly sick.

Also ITL, nowadays most people come to expect things when you do them, the problem is they don’t do them in return.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:34 am

halo46
October 16th, 2012
9:29 am

If your girlfriend is controlling, whiny, and always wants her way, then DO NOT marry her. Even if you are so in love that you get sick or depressed when she’s mad. Just ask my brother all about that. lol

You need to make up YOUR mind whether or not you can deal with it before you get married and act accordingly because all this thinking someone is going to change, or you can change someone is bullcrap!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 16th, 2012
9:34 am

Hey Light,
I dig the motherly type and caring you would show your guy while he’s sick. I would welcome it, to an extent so as to not make you feel being used. What upsets me the most is the dude playing a game to find if she’s worthy of him as if he’s a wrapped gift from God.

Button

October 16th, 2012
9:35 am

I agree with what you said Blackfoote

My beau has a cold, I check on him periodically because I care not to gain any merit points. Some men can be big babies when it comes to sickness/pain. I don’t see him being that way but then again I can be wrong. He could be sucking up all this extra attention. I like when I’m pampered when I’m sick. It just sits well and help with the healing boosting the immune system.

Do you think someone who has shown bad girlfriend/boyfriend behavior would make awful marriage partners? Double YES. If it’s a repeated offense!

Good morning :)

Into the Light

October 16th, 2012
9:35 am

:shock:
Leggs, can I have half your cookie? I missed breakfast.

@Stamps: Ek-zachery!

I used to be here before

October 16th, 2012
9:35 am

I concur with Black Foote

Into the Light

October 16th, 2012
9:37 am

@BF: Exactly!!! Now here, lie down and let Mommy ITL put a cool cloth on your head and tuck you in…… :)

disco

October 16th, 2012
9:39 am

good morning. first I didn’t realize there was a sick test. lol. I laugh at the sick test. possibly because I’ve already failed it a time or two. I’m not a nurturer and barring something serious (to me serious means surgery, broken bones, organ failure, etc.) I’m not sweating a sick man. a grown man with a cold needs to deal with it and leave me out of it.

guess I’ll actually go and read posts now. sick test. that’s crazy.

Comon Cents

October 16th, 2012
9:39 am

LOL @ ITL. I missed breakfast too. Can we split that cookie three ways? :lol:

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:40 am

ITL, you remind me of the nurses in the hospital, “Wake up Mr. Stamps, time to take your blood pressure,” is it morning already “no it’s midnight we have to take your BP at shift change” go away (LOL)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 16th, 2012
9:40 am

Hye Lady’s thanks in advance if I were to get sick I know I’d be well taken care of……….LOL

Comon Cents

October 16th, 2012
9:40 am

Good Morning, disco! How did I know that would be your response to a sick test? :lol: Great minds think alike…

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 16th, 2012
9:41 am

Disco, thought about you when I saw the sick test, knew you wouldn’t pass that one (LOL)