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Dating: I’m NOT your ex!

Full disclosure: I just received the coolest book about men to review. I mean, it is literally chocked full of revealing things about the male mind – appropriately titled, “WTF are Men Thinking?”

Admittedly, the title alone won me over. I couldn’t wait to dig in to get a glimpse of what 250,000 men think on topics that women are curious about. One question that struck a nerve with me almost instantly: “Does he compare me to her?”.

Now, listen fellas. Here is my PSA: A lot of women have to deal with their own insecurities from time to time. If you constantly compare us to your last chick or bring up your first wife, there will be problems.

Have you ever had this issue? If someone compares you to their ex, does that mean they are still in love with them?

Is it natural to compare your last relationship? When do you think it is appropriate to do so, and in what context?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

255 comments Add your comment

Celisea

October 12th, 2012
7:05 am

Honestly Diva, I’ve done it, but subconsciously. I think though, you have to fairly be open to giving the next love an chance. If not, that could be the detriment of something potentially great! Like I days, I’ve done it in the post, but learned letting go means all the way.

So, I get home and I’m tired, my kid asked if she could stay with my sister and kids another night since apparently they were having a few kits over. Soooo, I seized the moment! I invited him over to stay the night with me :) I spontaneously dropped it on him. :mrgreen: He cooked for me, I sat in with him and we talked. Y’all know I don’t drink. Buddy brought wine….lol After dinner, ummmm we enjoyed a nice adult evening……and night!!! Gotta admit it was GREAT!!! I SEIZED THE MOMENT!! :mrgreen: Mayne, I can’t remember the last time I had such a memorable night.

That’s all I’ll ever tell….lol Knocked me the heck over!

I truly hope y’all have a fantab day!!! I’m certain I will….lololol

Celisea

October 12th, 2012
7:06 am

excuse my boo boos

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

October 12th, 2012
7:17 am

I’ve been compared to an ex, and after a certain point, they became my ex! Don’t compare my next with my ex, because there is a reason they are my ex!

Lady~cool beans :-)

October 12th, 2012
7:22 am

Interesting topic~ just had this convo last night with my boo regarding our exes…..it was comical but a bit of understanding came out of it on both sides! how ironic WD! ;)

Waving @ C~

Happy Friday MIA!

& no no one is in love with their exes lol C~ good point with subconsciously. On another note I had a recent dream about an ex and that left me baffled lol am I really subconsciously thinking about him lmbao. it was a fun dream though and it stops there! ha! #fridayfunnies ;)

Celisea

October 12th, 2012
7:27 am

Heeeey there Lady!!! What’s crackalackin?? Isn’t it weird how that happens? I chaulk it up to not having fully let go. I did it with my kids dad. Mainly though in the intimacy department. Didn’t want to start again. That mentality can be a killer…lol

Celisea

October 12th, 2012
7:29 am

I’ve done that before. I’ll say though, if he’s been on the brain, usually I’ll dream about him. Him being an ex or someone I may have desired.

Lady~cool beans :-)

October 12th, 2012
7:31 am

true sis~ I am leaving it there. those tricky thoughts are for the birds. just water my own grass bc its NOT greener over there trust. been there done that! lol #takecareofhome

Celisea

October 12th, 2012
7:34 am

Lady – Exactly…lol I like that…..”water my own grass”

Celisea

October 12th, 2012
7:35 am

Alright, I’m out! :)

Jeff

October 12th, 2012
7:59 am

That’s cool and all, but that means you have to stop telling me I have to dance around certain things because of something that happened in your past and “it really affected me and I’m really senesitive about it”.

Lady~cool beans :-)

October 12th, 2012
8:02 am

Jeff good point~ that point was made last night. but to play devil’s advocate I can’t ignore BS and if it quacks and looks like a duck its a duck and I am calling it out and I don’t want my past used against me especially if I have disclosed a reoccurring issue. “Follow your heart but take your mind with you”~

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
8:24 am

I once dropped by at a mutual friend’s house and the wife made awesome dinner. When I got home I went to elaborate lengths,explaining what the other woman cooked and how and boy!,how I enjoyed that meal.
Queen was pissed and just retired to bed early leaving me in the living room,holding the remote.

Women can be funny sometimes.
So… talking of exes or another woman’s un-gutter strengths is a No No.

Woman like flattery and compliments and All the good things better be bout her!

Hey MIA!

I used to be here before

October 12th, 2012
8:43 am

good morning

I used to be here before

October 12th, 2012
8:43 am

Enter your comments here

Button

October 12th, 2012
8:46 am

That’s a big no no. I don’t want to hear about your ex and how she did this that and the other. Any guy who harps on and on about an ex still has feeling for her imo. I would tread very very lightly with that guy. It’s a recipe for resentment and insecurities.

disco

October 12th, 2012
8:49 am

good morning.

first things first. good for you C.

on topic, I think we all make comparisons whether or not we verbalize said comparisons. we may not even be comparing directly so much as simply noticing differences. it’s called paying attention. anyone who is always straight griping about the ex did this better or the ex had that needs to grow up.

exiled – that’s too funny. I could just hear queen telling you “well go over there and ask so and so to cook for you”. lol.

I used to be here before

October 12th, 2012
8:50 am

Before you deal with me, you gotta say RIP to your ex

Button

October 12th, 2012
9:08 am

I think it’s natural to compare your last relationship but not in the presence of the current. Find a random stranger and let it all out.

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
9:08 am

Morning All!

I’ve been in situations where a dude really over did it talking about the ex and it made me uncomfortable. Whether it’s complaining about the ex or complimenting something they did. There is nowhere to go with a situation like that except the door. And yes, there is a very thin line between love and hate. Two that complained about their ex the most to me went back to them!

Making comparisons out loud is always wrong, but be careful about those that go on in your head too. You would be surprised at how your thoughts can manifest themselves for others to see no matter how hard you try to hide it.

Exiled – I have actually been where Queen was in that situation. If it’s something you take pride in doing well, having your spouse/SO gush on and on about how someone else did it better can hurt. A simple “It was good seeing Joe again & his wife put out a nice spread. It was a nice evening” would have sufficed. I’m not so insecure I need 24/7 reassurance and I recognize that no matter how good I might be at something there is someone out there that can do it better. But I am the superstar in my own home.

disco

October 12th, 2012
9:11 am

kimmie – you go superstar.

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
9:12 am

I think it is natural to compare some. It may be good if you compare (to yourself) how much better the new one is over the last one!

In response to Jeff’s comment, there are some things that were so hurtful in the past that we do not want to deal with it again. With recent ex, he did something one time that flashed me back to what an old ex would do that would hurt me. I immediately brought it up to him and he didn’t do it again (well, not for a while anyways). I think you should respect each other in that aspect.

SlimUno

October 12th, 2012
9:19 am

Haven’t even read the topic yet, but GOOD MORNING!

Lady~cool beans :-)

October 12th, 2012
9:23 am

resentment is an understatement especially if it appears your ex is doing better than you on surface……..folks really should invest in improving themselves and their flaws and stop the blame game. no one is perfect and life goes on but yeah it is normal to think about an ex bc they are apart of your past and even though the door is closed it still shaped your future~

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
9:23 am

Morning Slim!!!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
9:25 am

Good morning.

If I’ve been compared to an ex, I’m not aware of it. Haven’t had many bfs and my ex-husband never said anything to me about this ex. Different folk roll different ways. If you feel the need to compare to your ex, then go back to your ex.

czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪

October 12th, 2012
9:27 am

HiYas!

honestly, i could listen to a dude talk about his ex all day long. doesn’t phase me. i am who i am and i’m tickled pink about it. no diff than letting him talk about his bff, his boss or his dog.

but if it turns out his got unresolved issues with the ex … ciao! no hard feelings.

now jeff’s post brings up a good point. i am guilty of the “um. this feels familiar in a very bad way” comparison. can’t help it. i’ve learned to recognize what does NOT work for me, and i avoid it straight away. i believe it saves us both time and trouble in the long run.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
9:31 am

kimmie’s right, Ex. Not cool to gush all over another woman’s cooking. Like she said, say the meal was delicious, and savor the rest in your own mind.

disco

October 12th, 2012
9:32 am

brat – I just saw “Braille” in your moniker. I’m straight tripping today apparently.

disco

October 12th, 2012
9:33 am

leggs / kimmie – re the woman’s cooking. for some reason I just thought of coal miner’s daughter when she used salt instead of sugar. poor dolittle went along and courted her anyway. lol.

DuShawn

October 12th, 2012
9:39 am

It’s a trip how time tends to fade the bad memories and only the good ones remain vivid. Before me, wifey dated a high profile dope boy. Years ago, we were overdue for a vacation, her misguided way of reminding of that was to tell me about the trips she and her ex used to take and the things he bought her. I’m like, ”yeah, he gave you all that, but he didn’t give you his last name. And isn’t that the dude you said kicked you in the stomach during an argument. And now you have the nerve to mention this mufukka in my presence like he was Mr. Wonderful!” Needless to say that never happened again. He got murdered a few years back. We flew back home to attend the funeral. She went…..I didn’t.

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
9:43 am

disco – you just reminded me of a time when I made my first pecan pie. it was beautiful. BUT…I had mistakenly put a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon! It was so nasty. Everyone was trying to be nice and when I took a bite, I told everyone to throw it out and quit being nice and trying to choke it down! LOl

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
9:43 am

disco ~ woke up this morning thinking of one of my favorit books. I recommend you reading it, “Family, by J.California Cooper.”

SlimUno

October 12th, 2012
9:46 am

Bluz – Howdy doody chica…

On topic: When we were cordial, my ex would tell me how he always compared other chicks he dated to me. But anyhoo, i think it’s natural to make comparisons of people from your past to those you currently date – IN YOUR OWN MIND. However, I think it’s rather rude to bring it up to your current SO. I would surely feel some kind of way about my dude constantly bringing up his ex. Because if she is sooo great and i’m merely occupying her shadow, then you need to go be with her ass. I don’t want to be your ‘Get over my Ex’ girl, transition girl, stepping stone girl etc…
Now the beau and I have had a converstation in general about our exes or what not and he is basically the total opposite of my ex i.e More responsible, more honest, more clean & tidy, more self-sufficient and no need to be running the streets all the time.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
9:47 am

Never compare the old with the new, if you see some similarities, and they are the reason you left the ex, don’t make them your next!

MsAtl

October 12th, 2012
9:50 am

Morning all,
I was once compared to an ex, but in a good way. Either way, that is not something that is harped upon. In the beginning I talked about my ex more, only because he went apeshit and tried to make my life hell once he found out I was dating someone. At this point, I try not to mention him at all, except where my son is concerned.
Have a great day all!

disco

October 12th, 2012
9:51 am

bluz – funny re the pecan pie. while nice, it’s also funny that people are so willing to go along to make you feel better. imagine if you’d screwed up a dish, not by mistake but just because you have no cooking skills. polite folks will have you bringing a bad dish to cookouts and holiday dinners for years to come. lol.

leggs – it’s on my list. is j. California cooper the one with that funny writing style. warped punctuation and all that?

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
9:52 am

don’t make them your next!

Single – I like that!LOL!!

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
9:55 am

Bluz, your story reminds me of a friend who went to their cousins house for thanksgiving, his new wife had prepared some chittlins, and everyone was commenting on how did she stuff the corn in them, well if any one knows anything about preparing chittlins, some mentioned how it got there (LOL)

Yea, I’m from the country I did type chittlins (LOL)

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
9:55 am

Now, it was kind of weird when I started “seeing” Mags (for that whole week or so)…he was friends with the ex and we did talk about how ex treated me and how I felt stupid because I let it all happen, but I learned that I won’t let it happen again.

Now…if Mags didn’t know ex, I would NEVER have talked about him in any way. Just like any future guy I date…there is no need to bring up the past.

MsAtl

October 12th, 2012
9:56 am

Morning all. Blog monster seems to have eaten my post. I have been compared to a ex once, but in a good way. In the beginning, I talked more about my ex, but only because he went completely batsh!# and tried to make my life hell once he found out I started dating someone. Now, he only comes up in the context of my son. Even then, if I send him one email, he will counter with ten, most of which I ignore. I do not interfere with him and his mistress and asked him not to interfere in my life. When he did try to interfere, it made for some unpleasant conversation, so I try to avoid mentioning him and definitely do not compare. Two different people; different life cycles.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
9:57 am

Kimmie, thanks, I have this friend that recently reunited with that had the biggest crush on in high school who could be my exes sister (which is really what first attracted me to my ex) well in getting to know her, she acts so much like my ex, it just burst my little bubble (LOL)

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
9:58 am

disco – Now…the next year, I tried my hand at a chocolate pecan pie. It looked terrible, but tasted oh so good. I didn’t want to try it because it looked so ugly so I went to Cracker Barrel Thanksgiving morning to buy one of theirs. My mom was brave enough to try mine and raved about it, so I tried it and it was so good! Just too bad it literally looked like crap! LOL

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
10:01 am

Slim – As I alluded to earlier, I think you have to watch the “in your mind” stuff too. It really can affect what goes on on the outside if you’re not careful. In the past, I’ve been so caught up with my comparison thoughts, I could not be in the “moment” and really take in the new person and what he had to offer. In reverse, I’ve had guys kind of “drift off” and I know they are probably thinking about their ex, in fact I’ve asked a few.

I know for me, I knew I was really really over someone when I didn’t find myself making comparisons all the time in my head when I was with the new person. In fact, I rarely thought about the ex unless someone else brought them up. I didn’t wish them bad or anything. I just didn’t think about them anymore.

It can take awhile to get to that level in your head, I admit.

czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪

October 12th, 2012
10:02 am

leggs’ comment got me thinking. i can’t recall any outright comparisons to an ex, but i have been told (twice) that i fit a guy’s “type”. i don’t take offense to that though. lord knows i have a “type” too.

MsAtl

October 12th, 2012
10:02 am

O/T- Ummm, when you see a co-worker heading into the men’s room with some reading material, lol.

SlimUno

October 12th, 2012
10:08 am

polite folks will have you bringing a bad dish to cookouts and holiday dinners for years to come.

disco – I rather you tell me how I could make something I cooked better. How else will you improve? I think it’s all in your delivery of how you tell me.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
10:10 am

Slim, so who the #$%# cooked this $!#$ wouldn’t be a good way to tell you?? (LOL)

I used to be here before

October 12th, 2012
10:10 am

LOL @ Ms ATL

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
10:12 am

MsAtl, I’d rather them read than try to start a conversation (LOL)

disco

October 12th, 2012
10:13 am

slim – me too. some folks will tell you. others just don’t want to be “mean” and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. in the meantime they are all talking about the nasty potato salad behind someone’s back. lol.

bluz – a co-worker brought pound (bundt) cake to work once. she was so proud of it. she cut me a piece and it wasn’t done in the center. other co-workers were raving about how moist it was. I told her it wasn’t moist. it wasn’t finished. it needed to bake longer. serving up raw cake batter.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
10:14 am

Disco, why am I not surprised (LOL)

SlimUno

October 12th, 2012
10:17 am

kimmie – Yeah you have a point. Initially, I think the beau was a bit iffy on dating me due to the time frame of my last relationship. His concern was feeling that after being with someone that long, that it just doesn’t go away over night. He was not certain it was OVER. But I had to break it down for him that i’ve spent waaaaay too much time on trying to make that work and I cannot get that time back. Ready to move on

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
10:18 am

Yes ma’am, disco. That type of writing style is definitely prevalent throughout this particular book. But it’s a wonderful, wonderful read. May even bring a tear to your eyes…wait, I forgot who I’m talking too (rofl).

DuShawn

October 12th, 2012
10:20 am

A close potnah of mine married my ex…..and I was in the wedding. That was my girlfriend my senior year of high school and part of my freshman year undergrad. When I go visit them, I give my man some dap and give his wife a good firm hug. I purposely hug her a split second too long just out of spite….

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
10:21 am

Slim – Like I said, it can take a minute to get there, but it is a beautiful thing when that ex is no longer a part of your everyday thoughts!

MsAtl

October 12th, 2012
10:24 am

S/H- true. I just don’t want that brief to land on my desk for review, lol. (pulling on the latex gloves)

SlimUno

October 12th, 2012
10:26 am

Dushawn – Did they come to you prior to hooking up to see how you felt about them dating?

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
10:27 am

MsAtl, if they’re that nasty, I wouldn’t want to touch anything they touch at anytime (LOL)

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
10:28 am

Good question, Slim. Since he used the word “potnah,” bet he did come to him.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
10:29 am

Dushawn in the Color Purple “hea hea hea, you had her your way and I had her mine hea hea hea”

DuShawn

October 12th, 2012
10:30 am

@Slim- No, it wasn’t necessary. Several years had past before they hooked up. I was already married. Actually, I was happy for them. They are both my close friends.

disco

October 12th, 2012
10:31 am

Leggs – I’ll try. I’ve heard so much good stuff about her work and I’ve tried to read her books but it’s difficult. it’s almost like trying to read text messages. my brain has to work too hard to read her stuff. still, it’s on my list.

slim – that was sort of the topic on the radio the other day. former spouses asking the ex-spouse for their blessing prior to remarrying. apparently it was triggered because ashton kutcher supposedly asking for demi’s blessing to marry his new chick.

czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪

October 12th, 2012
10:33 am

former spouses asking the ex-spouse for their blessing prior to remarrying.
now that’s some wtf crap right there^

New Chick

October 12th, 2012
10:33 am

I new he was comparing to his ex when I made an innocent statement that ticked him off. I think dude was having a flashback. lol

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
10:34 am

Has anyone ever had the new S/O get upset because you won’t talk about your ex?

SlimUno

October 12th, 2012
10:36 am

DS – But if you were happy for them, why the need for a extra long hugs out of spite?

disco

October 12th, 2012
10:36 am

brat – a real WTF was the couple who split up because of adultery. the two cheaters married each other and then, lo and behold, the two who were left alone after the two cheaters left them ultimately hooked up and eventually married. how’s that for some blended family mess? both sides had children. the couple that married first gushed about how happy they were it worked out for the subsequent couple and credits their initial affair for bringing them together.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
10:38 am

Disco, that some real BS

SlimUno

October 12th, 2012
10:39 am

SH – I wouldn’t say he got upset, but the beau was asking me stuff about the ex and i just didn’t see the necessity of whatever it was he was asking. He was just like, yall were together a long time so don’t act like yall didn’t do a lot together. I said, i’m not ating like that but why does it matter if i’m with you now. Even if the beau and I did something or went to the same restaurant etc, all that matters is OUR experience doing it together. I suppose there was some sort of want from the beau to experience totally new things together, which we have also done. But come on now, i don’t expect us not to go somewhere he took his ex before. :roll:

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
10:40 am

Has anyone ever had the new S/O get upset because you won’t talk about your ex?

Single – Yep! And that’s some wack ish right there! I looked at dude like he was crazy. Last time I checked, not talking about the ex was a GOOD thing!

Willie Dynamite

October 12th, 2012
10:42 am

Morning all,
Topic- I think it’s hard not to compare your present to your past. Lingering or obsessing over it though would bring extra drama. Recognize it, make a mental note of it but don’t give it the power to sabotage.

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
10:42 am

Single – A lot of people feel the need to create a problem where there is not one.

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
10:43 am

Recognize it, make a mental note of it but don’t give it the power to sabotage.

Willie – Well said. That shuts it down.

disco

October 12th, 2012
10:44 am

S/H, kimmie – I actually get it quite a bit simply because I’m not very forthcoming by nature. I share information but generally on a need to know basis unless I’m feeling chatty. from time to time I come across the person whose entire life is an open book and they always talk about how I know so much more about them and their past than they do about mine. I’m like “quit popping off at the mouth”. lol. again, not saying I don’t share or I’m not conversational but everything ain’t for everybody’s ears. not to mention. women aren’t the only ones who hold onto information to use at a later date.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
10:48 am

Disco, dang you sound like me, people tell me all the time that getting information from me is like pulling teeth, I be like um maybe it’s because you don’t need to know!

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
10:51 am

Ok…getting O/T a little early. A friend of mine who lives in NOLA, has been married for many years. She also happens to be the sister of my close friend who passed away in March. Anyway…about a month and a half ago, she found out that he has been cheating on her. She’s also recently started abusing prescription meds to deal with everything. Her husband has been very blatent with the cheating…taking this woman out to dinner in public…rubbing her nose in it. So…last night, he apparently brought the other woman to their house and told my friend that he is leaving her for good and doesn’t want to work things out. How can someone be so cruel?!?!?! I just feel for her and since she’s so far away, there is nothing I can do for her…

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
10:54 am

” Her husband has been very blatent with the cheating…taking this woman out to dinner in public…rubbing her nose in it. So…last night, he apparently brought the other woman to their house and told my friend that he is leaving her for good and doesn’t want to work things out. How can someone be so cruel?!?!?!”

Why was she still there trying to work things out??

disco

October 12th, 2012
10:59 am

S/H – you ain’t kidding. she should have been in straight up plot mode on his behind.

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
11:00 am

She kept hoping that he would “come to his senses”…I’m not sure how many years they’ve been married, but it’s been a really long time. He even said something about loving both of them! She’s been pretty messed up since her brother died in March and I think she’s very vulnerable now. She wants to leave the house at this point, but a lawyer friend told her not to because it could be viewed as her abandoning the property. My heart is breaking for her. She did nothing to him for him to treat her this way

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
11:00 am

Disco, if my wife would ever bring her “boyfriend” to our house with some mess like that, it would be a crime of passion, because death would do us part!!

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
11:02 am

Bluz, you may not be the one for her to lean on with this (no offense to you) but she couldn’t have prevented it.

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
11:02 am

disco – I bet if you took a poll of my exes they would probably say the same about me. I didn’t talk much about other men to them and they didn’t need to know everything anyway. I was not being evasive, I just not only talked the talk but walked it too. I didn’t want to hear about their exes and unless it was something vital I needed to know about, they didn’t need to tell me.

One of my best friends, on the other hand, learned the hard way. Her past was one she was not proud of and she shared too much too soon unnecessarily with men she dated. Notice I said “dated”, nothing long-term.

New Chick

October 12th, 2012
11:07 am

S&H – Sounds like a scene out of Diary of a Mad Black Woman.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
11:08 am

Kimmie, it’s sort of a good thing, because if they couldn’t handle hearing it from her, just think how they would have handle it hearing it in the streets. As for me, I would have told her and anyone else that her past didn’t matter to me, unless it could have some affect on me and our future together

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
11:09 am

New Chick, only I would have need Madea, I would have had the saw trying to split them half (LOL)

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
11:09 am

S/H – She’s not really leaning on me at this point. Just kind of keeping me up to date on everything. To make it worse…she does have the power to take him down. He is a dentist and has apparently been writing prescriptions for narcotics to his mistress and she’s not a patient of his. He got in trouble a few years ago for writing out bogus rx’s and he went to rehab and cleaned up. Now, this stuff is starting again. I just hope she can be strong enough to handle her stuff and take care of herself. Maybe change the locks to the house to prevent him from coming in…

czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪

October 12th, 2012
11:09 am

disco, please tell me this is all from some book you’ve read. that can’t possibly be the doings of actual grown folk.

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
11:10 am

It’s more like a Jerry Springer show!!!

disco

October 12th, 2012
11:13 am

brat – I can’t vouch for validity. just saying it was something some caller claimed on a radio show. who knows? they say the truth can be stranger than fiction.

Stephen king fans – I noticed that thinner was on last night too late to enjoy it. cujo came on after but I knew I couldn’t stay up long enough to watch it.

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
11:14 am

Bluz – That would have been one of those “Snapped” situations. Obviously dude had zero respect for her and thinks she’s a pushover that will settle for any type of treatment. He knows how far he can push it, wasn’t even trying to be discreet about it. Because even if he fooled around, he would know better than to stoop to the level of bringing skank to my house. I’m not normally a violent person, but some blood would definitely have been shed! That level of disrespect would get to me more that the cheating would!!!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
11:15 am

I was blocked out…had to use Google chrome to get back in.

disco ~ if anyone can read that horrible writing in The Color Purple, J.California Cooper should be a breeze.

“So…last night, he apparently brought the other woman to their house and told my friend that he is leaving her for good and doesn’t want to work things out.” – that mess would not fly in a black woman’s home (unless she’s his dormat).

I remember living with this man (almost a year) who up one day told me he was going back to Alabama and get the mother of his children and we would all be living together. I told him not on my watch. He went. I hired a moving company and moved everything out of that house. I left him one plate, one fork, one knife and 2 glasses and one plastic chair. I even took the fridge. He quickly found out he was messing with the wrong head B…..!

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
11:17 am

“To make it worse…she does have the power to take him down” That SOB would be on the super slide (LOL)

disco

October 12th, 2012
11:18 am

leggs – I never read the color purple. and WHAT??? dude was going to get his “other family”? lol. did he imagine himself running a harem or something?

kimmie / Single – I love when folks go straight into I wish a ninja would mode.

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
11:18 am

Single – That’s just it, these dudes would not have heard ish in the “streets”. Her “past” consisted of a little promiscuity in high school! She’s almost 40, looking back on it now, the stuff she did would probably seem pretty vanilla by today’s standards.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
11:21 am

Kimmie, 40 explaining ish 20 something years ago, where dey do dat at?

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
11:22 am

Leggs, dude had been watching to much TV (LOL)

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
11:23 am

disco ~ that’s the exact word I used, I will not be living in a harem. Guess he thought I was kidding.

disco

October 12th, 2012
11:23 am

S/H – sounds like she’s one of those open book people. “and when I was 7… then when I turned 13…. once when I was high school….. one year for spring break I….when I used to be married I…”

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
11:23 am

I don’t know how she didn’t take a bat to his head last night. I know I would have…I would have hurt them both!!!

I just hope she’s emotionally strong enough to do what she needs to do. She had surgery about a month ago also and isn’t 100% healed. The poor woman can’t get a break! I wish I had the means to fly to NOLA and stay with her. I can tell you that he would get a a$$ whoopin from me for sure!!!

Sassy Me...PYT ;-)

October 12th, 2012
11:24 am

What it do blog familia?

On topic: I’ve never been compared to an ex but I have compared how I’ve been treated by my exes. I don’t tell the other person because I think it’s crass and stupid…it can also ignite some insecurities that could cause detriment to the relationship.

Off topic: Yesterday’s blog was freaking great :mrgreen:

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
11:26 am

Disco, Kimmie, I still say she’s better off without those guys, because who in the hell cares what you did 20 something years ago? Hell if there isn’t a warrant out for your arrest, we good!!

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
11:26 am

disco – The sheer disbelief “no this a–hole did NOT bring this beyotch up in MY house” would require nothing less than a ninja reaction!!LOL!! Oh it would have been on and popping!!! And I know it, cause I still remember back when my 1st serious boyfriend “grabbed” my arm. I was green and he kept doing things to see how far he could push me and I let a whole lot slide. But something in me straight snapped when he grabbed my arm!! I went batsh– crazy on him swinging. I then sat down and caught my breathe and jumped on him again.

His eyes got big as saucers and he said I was CRAZY!! But he never went there again, the brief time we were together after that incident!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
11:26 am

Single, if I were a weak woman and stayed, I would have been Snapped’s first storyline!

disco

October 12th, 2012
11:26 am

bluz – no offense but I laughed at you taking a bat to someone. not that you wouldn’t but just because you put up with so much crap in your own life that it’s almost comical to watch you step up on someone else’s behalf. still, a friend who will swing a bat for you is a friend indeed.

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
11:29 am

if there isn’t a warrant out for your arrest, we good!!

Single – Okay!! You better recognized!!

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
11:32 am

O/T I had my FRIED FISH for dinner last night and going to have some for lunch :-D

disco

October 12th, 2012
11:34 am

kimmie – sometimes all it takes is that one good time. I think I mentioned on here my grandfather slapping my grandmother once when he was drunk. she let him pass out, tied him to the bed, beat him and then called the police on herself rather than untying him. she spent the weekend in jail and the story ran in the papers. my grandfather never raised his hand again after that though. she says he really caught heck from his friends who read about it in the paper. lol.

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
11:35 am

disco – Trust…I came close to taking a bat to the ex, but he wasn’t worth the jail time!!! If he’d laid a hand on me, I would have put him in the hospital for sure.

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
11:37 am

disco – That actually sounds like something similiar that went down with my grandparents. Hey, it happens! But you right, all it takes is one good time. You might perceive a person as week and push them if you want to, at your own risk. One day, they will push back!!

disco

October 12th, 2012
11:43 am

kimmie – I love listening to those old folks’ tales. they aren’t all the sweet little old church ladies/men they appear to be. lol.

czBrat ♀ ♫•*¨*•Liviiing Singllle•*¨*•♫♪

October 12th, 2012
11:43 am

You might perceive a person as week and push them if you want to, at your own risk. One day, they will push back!!
these are the people i generally refer to as “aquarians”. :lol: :lol:

SlimUno

October 12th, 2012
11:56 am

It really irks me when dudes are so quick to throw the CRAZY status on a woman. I suppose they are all saints and we just go off for no apparent reason. Whatdafykcever!

disco

October 12th, 2012
12:15 pm

dag. must be lunch time.

Jeff

October 12th, 2012
12:16 pm

So what i heard some of you say in response to my comment was this: I’m not your ex, so don’t hold any of that over my head. But if my ex did something hurtful in the past, you need to recognize and respect my feelings?

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
12:33 pm

‘I then sat down and caught my breathe and jumped on him again.” – Now, that is some funny stuff right there!

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
12:33 pm

Jeff…if your ex does something hurtful to you, I would be sure to not do it to you to respect your feelings…

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
12:40 pm

I’m flying in late today. Hey blogsville!

So many comments, not enough time.

Bluz~ I always find it funny that women who will put up with much crap in their own lives will cut a beyotch quick if something goes wrong in one of their friend’s lives.

Jeff~ Recognize and respect your feelings? Yes. Let you consantly bring up some isht your ex did to decide how I should behave? Negative, ghostrider! Everyone has buttons that are created by the situations that they have endured. Some are major (i.e. a woman who is “face-shy” because the ex hit on her) and some are minor (i.e. it annoys me when you watch Snapped because my ex did it all the time) Know what to bring up and what to let go. But if the ghost of your ex is sleeping in between us every night, eventually Imma leave you two to it. IJS.

Leggs~ Dude went to get his other family? :shock: Where dey do dat? I wouldn’t have been moving my isht; he would have come home and his isht would be packed and ready to go in the garage and the locks would be changed. :lol:

disco

October 12th, 2012
12:47 pm

bluz – I laughed because I could just hear me saying “man up. don’t nobody care about your feelings.” lol. still, I think back on a cousin of mine who dated a chick who was on the nasty side among other things. he ultimately got with and married another chick who was constantly trying to not be like the ex. it was overkill and screamed low self esteem. her every move and decision was based on not being like the ex was. simple chick.

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
12:49 pm

Slim~ AMEN to your 11:56!!! I hate when men talk about how crazy their ex was and then later you find out about all the terrible isht he did to her that MADE her act all crazy. It is definitely a thin line between love and hate and you can push a person to the point that all the passion they felt for you turns into good old fashioned hate and they just want to do something to hurt you.

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
12:56 pm

I’m flying in late today

CC – Are your arms tired? hehehehe

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
1:06 pm

Slim~ My arms, my legs, my neck, my back. It’s all tired today. Thank GAWD it’s Friday. I have no court this afternoon, so I think I am going to bail out of the office early this afternoon.

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
1:07 pm

Although, I will qualify my statements by saying, it’s y’alls fault I am dragon azz today. Stayed up too late with the hubby last night. ;) He was like WTH got into you?!?

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
1:13 pm

CC – Glad to hear the blog has some postive effects on peoples lives. For a second, I thought we were turning into a gang lol

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
1:13 pm

Bet he was glad for whatever it was that got into you! :lol:

i'm swiss

October 12th, 2012
1:15 pm

“My arms, my legs, my neck, my back.”

Comon — Why am I now hearing “my neck, my back, lick my p____y and my crack…” :shock: :lol:

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
1:16 pm

Ok sorry it took me long to read back

But I read a little of disco,Kimmie and Leggs and uall chics have me laughing but in a good way… :lol:

A woman’s mind is special and waay different! :lol:

A secure man would kinda laugh the comparison(which is not a good verb here) or the gushing about so and so or even acknowledge and say ‘oh baby u know fixing stuff is not my thing,let’s get a guy to do this’

A woman,not so much.

Youall like to say,’u attacking me!’ even tho it is just a compliment to say ‘ugh,Joe’s wife can throw down in the kitchen!’ :lol:

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
1:17 pm

positive…oops

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
1:18 pm

swiss – You know the same chick that sings that song had another song that went something like, “Like my p___y like a porkchop” :shock: Who the hell licks a porkchop???

i'm swiss

October 12th, 2012
1:19 pm

Slim — Well d@mn. Does she mean to put some mashed potatoes and gravy on the side? :lol:

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
1:27 pm

swiss~ I was thinking of that song when I was typing it… :oops: It was a GOOD night.

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
1:28 pm

swiss – I have no clue but the thought of anything lumpy and white near the nether region don’t not a good look make.Might end up with a surprise yeast roll :shock:

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
1:28 pm

First you gotta put yo neck into it,
Don’t stop just do it, do it.
Lick it now, lick it good,
lick that pu–sy just like you should

Yeah. It was like that.

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
1:28 pm

It was a GOOD night.

CC – Sounds like the remix of Ice Cube’s, “Today was a good day”…lol

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
1:30 pm

Ex~ There is a difference between complimenting your boy’s wife’s cooking and going on and on about how she made the dish and what ingredients she used, etc. etc. etc. That will get you slapped up in my house. My response would have been “Well, why don’t you move in with Joe and his wife and see if her p___y is as good as her cooking? I bet the 3 of you could be real happy over there.”

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
1:32 pm

MrsAtl to ur 10:02

On a flight to Chicago last week a dude got up,reached for his carry on bag in the overhang bins and went to the bathroom.

If that were a mum with a small child or toddler,my mind wldnt have triggered anything

But I wondered..why? Obviously not to pee or drop kids in the plane pool

Why???

Any twinkle nimble brains out there?? :lol:

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
1:32 pm

I may not say all that, but probably would nip it in the bud and tell him STFU with all the praise for her cooking, I’m sick of it!!!!!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
1:33 pm

Perhaps he had to relieve himself and grabbed his penis pump? I hear they’re a big seller…

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
1:40 pm

“But if my ex did something hurtful in the past, you need to recognize and respect my feelings?”

You need to let that isht go!!! and move on with your life!!

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
1:41 pm

Leggs – HUH? :lol:

Ex – maybe he was going for his baby wipes since he a #2 emergency. :???:

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
1:41 pm

Comon, so you went to your happy place last night :-D

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
1:44 pm

CC – I’m jealous by the way!!! BUT…good for you!!!

Sassy Me...PYT ;-)

October 12th, 2012
1:48 pm

I’m doing waay too much work for a Friday…

Stayed up too late with the hubby last night. He was like WTH got into you?!?

Some situations call for a little “over time” ;-)

Ryder made an appearance last night,too…but I digress :mrgreen: :oops:

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
1:49 pm

S/H~ Went to my happy place, slept in my happy place, didn’t want to leave my happy place for work this morning and planning on re-visiting my happy place tonight. :D

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
1:51 pm

So what do yall have planned for the weekend? I’ll be working tomorrow but it’s all good because i’m in one of my “ME TIME” moods where I don’t really care to be bothered with anyone anyway. Sometimes I feel bad for not really wanting to hang out with my cuzzo but she already called me earlier in the week. *sigh*

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
1:53 pm

Bluz~ Porn is a good substitute if you haven’t had any for a while. (And I’m not talking that Skin-A-Max fake stuff either)

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:00 pm

Single, sounds like the hubby went to HIS happy place.

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
2:00 pm

Leggs/Common?

To both your responses,which is kinda funny,at least in our household coz,in our African culture,if I visit or get a visitor especially friend,aquaintance etc,you offer food. It’s considered a sign of being hospitable and warm.

So if I call Queen and say I’m dropping by so and so’s crib,I may be late and then proceed later get home in time for a chat before bed,one of the top four/five questions is,’so what did Jane etc cook for uall?’

See,it’s a trap! :lol:

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:03 pm

Slim ~ I don’t have too much planned. Ggoing to 2nd Annual DeKalb International Food & Music Festival @Northlake tomorrow (12-6 pm). Hanging with a gf this evening.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:05 pm

Ex, it’s only a trap if you hem yourself up by bragging relentlessly on someone else’s cooking. BTW, in our culture we used to offer food as well. Nowadays, you can get a drink before you get a meal.

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
2:06 pm

Slim..I wil take that..it’s a real possibility

Dude was a row ahead and ordering liqor..

Hmmmm

Anymore gutter thinkers? :lol:

A long time ago I heard that a British singer had,either no stomach or some other condition I can’t put a finger on but dude had a side tube to do #4 Heavy lifting. Maybe this dude had his pipe in there…
dude looked funny anyway….funny how the mind works when u are busy grading somebody mentally and negatively.

Yes,I Judge! (as if u didn’t know) :lol:

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
2:10 pm

Skin a max ? Common I never heard of that

what’s the website add

Gimme everything u got in ur p0rn library

U seem to know watchu talki bout. :lol:

So if I meet u and u are in the company of ur sis in laws I should know uall blink,blink! :lol:

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
2:15 pm

Comon, don’t be given bluz any bad advice, you know she can’t handle porn, if just reading about it makes her want to make that phone call!

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
2:19 pm

Exiled – I’m sensitive about the cooking thing cause that’s something I do that I take pride in. I could probably laugh it off if I couldn’t boil water. I’d probably laugh and tell you make sure you come & pick me up before you go over there again so I can get a good meal!LOL!

Cooking can be a sensitive thing with some women anyway, because it’s one of those “get a man” things that, if you can do well, you don’t need to hear your man gushing about some other woman’s cooking.

You playing crazy Exiled, but you get it.

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
2:19 pm

11:15 Leggs

So some women in America live under polygamous situations then

Another woman wld have tolerated it right?

I thought this only happened in Utah

Bly me!

Living in rural america must be like Africa I think

Ofcourse some inner cities are worse than some African spots no doubt.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:20 pm

Single, I was like ???? Watching porn is a great release when a person isn’t getting any. I think that would be the last thing a woman would want to watch. But, different strokes for different folks.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
2:22 pm

Leggs, we all know she couldn’t handle those strokes.

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
2:22 pm

Don’t need porn, but it is ok every once in a while. Really only have to watch a minute or two and I’m good! LOL

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
2:24 pm

AND…I can handle watching it without needing to make a phone call. Typically, when I watch the little bit, I’ve already got my toys out. I finish and I go to sleep! :-)

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
2:24 pm

I get u Kimmie!
In fact I never make a conscious effort to compare my wife with anybody on anything,maybe except for her younger sister.
Even with that too,she can take it bad.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
2:25 pm

Look at bluz getting a little back bone!! you tell us bluz!! (LOL)

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
2:25 pm

U still feeling needing a fix Bluz..

since it’s freaky Friday?

…sorry if I’m triggering a relapse. :lol:

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:25 pm

I don’t even know if I should tackle your ramblings, Ex (lol).

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
2:26 pm

Exiled – Skinamax is the movie network Cinemax…Everyone knows they play those soft p0rnlike movies after dark. It’s really only a tease…not the hard stuff you’d want to see. lol And after all this time, I’m surprised you still pine after Queens younger sister

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:29 pm

Single, texting,calling, probably use homing pigeon to get a msg to him to come QUICKLY. Well wait and come once he arrives, but to skedaddle over to her place as fast as he could.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:31 pm

Ex, if I remember correctly, don’t you have the hots for Queen’s little sister. Meaning, if you had carte blanc you would definitely take advantage of the situation? If I’m mistaken, I apologize.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
2:31 pm

Leggs, those Progesso soup cans, got him on can dial (LOL)

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
2:33 pm

U on point about that pining

Damn I have to go ! :lol:

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:33 pm

Thanks SlimNu. I knew I remembered correctly.

Now, Ex. I sho as heck hope you don’t bring that up to Queen. That’s plain disrespectful if you even jokingly make remarks to her about her sister.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:33 pm

Can dial…good one to add.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
2:34 pm

Leggs, that almost divorcerespectful, IJS

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
2:37 pm

Like Honey Boo Boo – You better redneckinize!!!LOL!!!!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:38 pm

And no matter what the culture, it’s DISRESPECTFUL!

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
2:41 pm

somethings are better left unsaid!!

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
2:42 pm

Single – Yep!!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
2:43 pm

For some reason, apparently Ex doesn’t grasp that.

Man, I haven’t heard anything shocking in a long time until now! How can you call her your Queen then disrespect her position like that??? No need to answer, just something for you to ponder.

Robert

October 12th, 2012
2:44 pm

“Is it natural to compare your last relationship?”

Men are different from women when it comes to comparing relationships. For example women are emotional and will remember the little things as well as the bad things especially if the relationship was abusive. On the other hand men have a short memory unless they were emotionally damaged with little or no experience dealing with women. We call these men types (hen-pecked or pussycat whipped) which means he is physically and mentally under the control of a woman and he can not let go.

As a basic rule I always “leave the past in the past” and give my new woman a chance to make her own mistakes without measuring her success against someone else’s failures. I hope she will treat me the same way.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
2:45 pm

Leggs, things that make you go HMMMMM

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
2:46 pm

Leggs/Slim – What kills me is a dude saying or doing something disrespectful, and when their woman has a strong reaction to it, then she’s “insecure”! :shock:

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
2:46 pm

I guess it goes back to the whole mind and temptation thingy some struggle with.

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
2:49 pm

kimmie – or better yet, she’s CRAZY. Anyway they can find to throw that out there, they do.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
2:49 pm

Kimmie, I was thinking the same thing. some guys just don’t seem to get it.

DuShawn

October 12th, 2012
2:50 pm

I’ve been watching porn since it was on Sony Betamax, pre VHS and pre Direct TV, internet and DVD’s. Back then you had to get your porn the old fashion way. Go to the Adult video store (with the big XXX sign on the front), park in the back at night with the other perverts, walk in quickly with your head down, and hope nobody recognized you. When wifey and I started dating, she let me know she liked to watch flicks too. One day she took me to this porn superstore. This was like the Walmart of porn. Typically, I would be embarrassed and try to get in and out. She had me in there for an hour. She was leisurely perusing the new arrivals, reading the back of the boxes like we were in a dayum library. The chick behind the counter new her by name and said “your pre-order of Freak ho’s and flows and black cheerleader search arrived yesterday.” (No bullsh&t, I remember thinking to myself at that moment, this chick is interesting). Over the years, we have become such porn connoisseurs, when we watch we critique the lighting, camera angles and evaluate performances like we’re Siskel and Ebert. I believe our mutual appreciation for the art form was a direct contributor to us making three babies in our first four years of marriage.

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
2:55 pm

Well, (chiming back in after a meeting) I see Slim has clarified the Skin-A-Max reference, but if you’re really hankering for porn and don’t want to pay, check out http://www.xtube.com.

They have some ameteurs on there that can make me blush and whatever your fetish, they have it covered.

Or so I’ve heard… :oops: (nod to swiss)

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
2:56 pm

Slim, speaking of temptation, do you watch Private Practice? I know Leggs does. Anyway, last week Sheldon the psychiatrist had a patient come in that was contemplating suicide. Sheldon was trying to get to the bottom of why. The guy started talking about this lady he used to see at a coffee shop all the time that was pretty and seemed nice. He started talking to her when he saw her and finally asked her out and she accepted. One thing led to another and they were about to get busy. He said she was beautiful and she got naked and he felt nothing. The only way he could get off was to think about Emma. Sheldon said that’s not a big deal to fantasize about another woman. Problem was, Emma was not a woman, she was 7 years old!! He said he had never acted on his feelings, but it was getting harder and the only way to prevent it was to kill himself!!! Sheldon did not want him to kill himself, but he told him if he didn’t get help to deal with it, his mind may start to trick him and tell him it’s okay to go ahead and act on it. It was so SICK!!!

SlimNu

October 12th, 2012
2:59 pm

kimmie – No i haven’t watched that but damn!!! Wacko Jacko….

Yall be easy, i’m outta here since I have to be back tomorrow.

HAVE A GREAT FREAKING WEEKEND :-D

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
3:00 pm

Ex – I wouldn’t mind getting a fix soon, but I’m good now! LOL

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
3:01 pm

kimmie~ I watch Private Practice and I was a little nauseous watching that episode. One area I have NEVER considered defending in criminal is child molestors. I just can’t do it.

Celisea

October 12th, 2012
3:02 pm

Peeking in a sec

disco – first things first. good for you C.

Just walked 2.6 miles…whew

Nothing more to add…I’ve said what I had to say on topic this morning :mrgreen:

Sassy Me...PYT ;-)

October 12th, 2012
3:02 pm

She was leisurely perusing the new arrivals, reading the back of the boxes like we were in a dayum library…Over the years, we have become such porn connoisseurs, when we watch we critique the lighting, camera angles and evaluate performances like we’re Siskel and Ebert.

:lol: I like the symbolism in your post.

Ain’t nuthin wrong with that ;-)

Celisea

October 12th, 2012
3:02 pm

Ooops, I was saying thanks to disco

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
3:03 pm

Have a great one Slim!!!

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
3:03 pm

What’s disrespectful Leggs,I’m not following?

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:03 pm

DuShaw ~ I watched my first porn on a reel to reel, (8MM) I think. Also, I can’t seem to get too much to porn to excite me much because I too am acting like Siskel and Ebert. Certain things will excite me while others won’t.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:05 pm

‘In fact I never make a conscious effort to compare my wife with anybody on anything,maybe except for her younger sister.
Even with that too,she can take it bad.’

Perhaps me, along with everyone else, read it wrong, Ex???

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:07 pm

Perhaps I….

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
3:09 pm

Leggs~ I think that what he is saying is that her younger sister is beautiful and the Queen thinks so too therefore she shouldn’t be insulted that he compares her to the younger sis. That being said, even though I see his point (I wouldn’t want to be compared to an ugly woman) I would still find it disrespectful if my S/O compared me to my sister. I would be thinking “Then why didn’t you go after her instead of me? Or am I sloppy seconds?!?” :shock:

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
3:12 pm

U really haven’t lost any of ur writing and story telling skills Dushawn!

I was enjoying my afternoon coffee reading that!

Speaking of this sign here: ! … I’m so used to using it here that I wrote what was considered a testy response to some client program manager here that my own program mger asked me to read my email back to myself and see if I wasn’t testy…well I told him that was his opinion :lol: this is what I said,’forget it Mary,the issue is closed!

I had told the heifer two times that the issue I was discussing with client resource was not impacting progress. And she says ’so why are u contacting him?’

I then send her that kick in the ass email.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:12 pm

But, Comon we know he has the hots for her sister and she probably knows it too. The fact that she knows is disrespectful to ME. The first little off the cuff dig would be one too many.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:15 pm

Has anyone here seen the video about the Cleveland bus driver upper cutting a female teenager? The girl was cussing and acting big and bad and this dude cold cocked her behind and then threw her and her belongings off the bus. Some of the passengers were laughing, while others started cussing him out. He felt she wanted to act like a bad ass man so he treated her like one. Man, that was cold.

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
3:19 pm

Leggs.

For family members that my Queen loves dearly..it’s not that serious

Unles the comparison is debauchery now that wld be different
She compares me with my brothers who are all more handy than myself ,i must say and I’m
Cool with that.

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
3:21 pm

handyman work vs aesthetics? No comparison.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
3:22 pm

Leggs, I’ve seen it and did you notice after he cold cocked her and threw her off the bus, she came back. I’m scared of her!!!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:26 pm

Ex, I understand that type of comparision. Just didn’t sound like that’s what you were saying.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:28 pm

Exactly, Comon re: 3:21.

That girl is the poster child for “firecracker personality.”

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
3:28 pm

Ex, even if you are cool with the comparisons, you have to remember we all are not the same. what’s okay with you doesn’t seem to be okay with her, and you have to respect that.

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
3:30 pm

Common?

When I said’compare ‘ I didn’t mean looks..

Actually I compare ways..behaviors characteristics etc

I’m not sure why looks came in

She is a great cook tho(the sister), less abrasive..u could say a push over a Lil on the quieter side. Shorter than Queen but I think proly more gutter…looking at the folks she has bedded etc duration of knowing them/dating etc

Common just for u: looking at her resume I thought I had a shot! :lol:

…now laughing lol

Sassy Me...PYT ;-)

October 12th, 2012
3:31 pm

I’ve seen it and did you notice after he cold cocked her and threw her off the bus, she came back.

I thought the same thing. I was like :shock: sh.iit she must be used to that…

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:31 pm

Glamorous Life is on…time to dance in my chair and play air drums.

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
3:32 pm

Wow, and you wonder why she’s not okay with it?? :???:

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:32 pm

Damn, I could get down on this song (lol).

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:34 pm

See, Single! After that explanation, I can only imagine. So, on that note, time for me to walk away on what another man is saying to his own wife!

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
3:34 pm

Sassy if for some reason I would ever hit a woman like that and she came back, I’m running, cause I know we bout to be on snapped!!

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
3:34 pm

Sheila E was the ISHT back when she was messing with Prince. I used to LOVE the Glamourous Life!

Single and Happier "Life is simple, if you stop making it so complicated!"

October 12th, 2012
3:35 pm

Yea, legs, Do you!! SMH

kimmie

October 12th, 2012
3:38 pm

Comon/Leggs – Love me some Sheila E too! She is still pretty. Have you all seen the Unsung on her? I saw her when she went on tour with The Time & Prince.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:39 pm

I think a female drummer is sexy!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:40 pm

I still have that Unsung on DVR.

Sassy Me...PYT ;-)

October 12th, 2012
3:41 pm

I’m running, cause I know we bout to be on snapped!!

For sure…it’s about to go dooown.

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
3:45 pm

My ex had a left handed female drummer in his band for a while. Everyone loved it!!!!

I’m so ready to get out of here!!!!

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
3:46 pm

Single,do u have insecurities?

:lol:

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:47 pm

Bluz ~ I have no had one stitch of work all day. I am so ready to get out of here.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:48 pm

Here’s my other record that I can do some harm on…Push It, Salt-N-Pepa!!!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
3:53 pm

Ok, I’m clubbing back in the day right from my chair. Rob Base is now jamming…

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
3:54 pm

I’ve had some work today, but I haven’t been motivated! I did close on a good loan today for one of my customers. That makes up for the lack of other work! LOL

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
3:55 pm

I have never watched Unsung. Guess I will have to add it to the DVR list to check out.

DuShawn

October 12th, 2012
3:57 pm

On the subject of hitting a woman, I got a call a few years ago from one my potnahs from childhood asking if I heard about Bob, a mutual friend of ours who is an old school, hood hard, no punk in him dude, like all the men I grew up with. He told me that Bob got his fronts knocked out. I didn’t comprehend. I’m like, “is that some new slang”. He went on to say it’s not slang, he got in a fight with that chick he mess with and she literally punched him in the mouth and knocked several of his front teeth out. He said the man had to get about five stacks of dental work. I stopped by to see him last time I was home, I didn’t metion it, but I couldn’t help looking at his pearly white, perfectly aligned newly purchased grill. I would never hit a lady, but I’ll whup b*tch azz. You take a female lightly if you want to…you’ll f&ckaround and find your sh&t split to the white meat.

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
3:59 pm

OMG!!! Really?!? :shock: I hope they take this guy to the cleaners and put him out of business…

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/couple-baby-decapitated-delivery-article-1.1181731

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
4:13 pm

OMG CC!!! I can’t believe that story! How horrible!!!

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
4:15 pm

Innocent untill proven guilty Common!!

Are u a Prosecutor paid on prosecutorial commission? Showing yr fangs!

:lol: I pulled that original verbiage from meeelow law library books :lol:

Sassy Me...PYT ;-)

October 12th, 2012
4:17 pm

You take a female lightly if you want to…you’ll f&ckaround and find your sh&t split to the white meat.

Cosigning all day long on that one…

Sassy Me...PYT ;-)

October 12th, 2012
4:20 pm

Comon I read that story,too and was horrified and saddened at such an atrocious act. The graphic image of that made me cringe and I can only imagine how traumatized the parents are. Just awful…

DuShawn

October 12th, 2012
4:23 pm

Exiled are you ‘”Melo” from years ago?

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
4:28 pm

I just ordered 9 books from Amazon for a total of $13.91.

disco ~ if you like books on slavery times, I have a good one for you.

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
4:29 pm

On days like this, I sure wish my boss would let us leave at 4:30!!! I’m really not feeling it anymore today. I gotta go home, get a 5 hour energy shot, and get gussied up for a wine part/benefit that my brother and I are going to this evening!

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
4:29 pm

Ex~ I believe in innocent until proven guilty, however, with eyewitness statements from the parents and knowing how underhanded and devious some doctors can be, I believe that this actually happened. AND if that’s the case, they should nail this guy’s azz to the wall.

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
4:35 pm

Enter your comments here

Bluzgirl

October 12th, 2012
4:36 pm

YES!!! The boss just said we can leave! That’s a rare treat!!! I’m out. Ya’ll have a great weekend!!!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
4:36 pm

Comon ~ I started to post the link to that story, but thought it too gruesome.

Exiled!

October 12th, 2012
4:39 pm

Common..ok I didn’t read the whole story but..

were the parents in the birf room when baby was supposedly coming and doc was huffing and puffing…

I couldn’t stand to watch my wife’s 3 birfs …I’m not cut for that profession

Single and Happy (LG Life is good)

October 12th, 2012
4:41 pm

Single,do u have insecurities?

No I don’t, but I respect those that do!!

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
4:44 pm

No I don’t, but I respect those that do!! – Comedy.

Single and Happy (LG Life is good)

October 12th, 2012
4:46 pm

Leggs, you know what I mean !! (LOL)

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
4:52 pm

Yeah I do, but it struck my funny bone.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
4:54 pm

Sometimes you have to leave what you know to find what you need. ~ copied off a poster

Comon Cents

October 12th, 2012
5:00 pm

Leggs~ There is a statistic that says most people will not change until the perceived discomfort of staying where they are is 3 times as painful as the perceived discomfort of the change.

Leggs

October 12th, 2012
5:09 pm

That is interesting.

Honeyamber1

October 12th, 2012
5:39 pm

Vitamin D is good 4 U!

Honeyamber1

October 12th, 2012
5:40 pm

@ROACH: Took my sleepin peel hahaha

STD

October 12th, 2012
5:59 pm

I GOT THE GIFT UT OH

Yea You

October 12th, 2012
6:31 pm

great blog day!

ROACH

October 12th, 2012
8:03 pm

@Honeyamber1 – just don’t take peels & drive……no no no no

Old Timer Past Regular

October 13th, 2012
1:00 pm

Stand strong C, ur attackers r ALWAYS frenemies. Take it from an old head, use 2 b blogger. I lurk but no longer speak. Just beware of people that hide and attack. Keep doing u!!

Honeyamber1

October 13th, 2012
6:46 pm

I am the first Honeyamber1. Someone is pretending to comment for me.

ROACH

October 14th, 2012
12:46 am

@Honeyamber1 rU Honey BooBoo auntie or grandma…..hahaha

Schiester

October 14th, 2012
7:32 am

My goal is one; VENI VIDI VICI; it’s what I do. Hanging around is strategic! Recognize it!