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Dating: Unlearn bad habits!

There comes a time in every person’s romantic life when you have to stop and take self-inventory. You know those gut check moments when you start to realize that a lot of misadventures, drama, and disappointments all share something in common: YOU.

I know, it’s not sexy or fun, but it is definitely necessary. How many old attitudes and bad dating habits are we clinging to that run off potentially great matches? There is a lot to be said about self-awareness. Many of us lack it!

Some men think they are projecting some alpha male image and it attracts women to them. They may not realize that they go overboard sometimes and can appear cold and distant. Some women believe they have the hot body and great sex to offer and that is enough to get and keep a man (It’s not, by the way).

So maybe it is worthwhile to figure out what dating habits we need to drop. Determine those old attitudes about the opposite sex that are most likely making us bitter about love. Are you guilty of clinging to bad dating habits?

If you meet someone with awful dating behavior, do you take the time to call them on it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

299 comments Add your comment

Celisea...blogging from Hartsfield

October 9th, 2012
6:01 am

I’m sort of from the belief that folks can’t be re-raised….whether by self or another individual (i.e. he ain’t my daddy). (lol) Having said that, I believe we can adjust. People get set in their ways after so long. As with not being able to unhear or unsee…not too much “un” anything is happening in adults.

I’m blogging before the blog’s boob and his/her interchangeable mascot: the mutt gets in. Apparently I have sexy ankles, as some animal is always yapping at me :)

Morning and make it a fantab day!!! :mrgreen:

Exiled!

October 9th, 2012
7:55 am

Bad habits:
1. Not being on time
2. Overdressing thinking it’s sexy
3. Hoochie dressing
4. Eating waaay too much on a first/second date….please! Don’t take advantage!
5. Exposing too much skin..the Ho uniform issue….men will wanna take a ‘quick hit’ and run
6. Too thirsty…don’t grope me,see (6)
7. Slow down the talking and swallow before u talk(I mean swallow food.. :lol: )
8. Slow down on the liquor,see (6)
9. Please,I don’t wanna hear about your exes….
10.I hope u ain’t checking your phone All nite on our date

Happy Tuesday MIA!

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

October 9th, 2012
8:04 am

“If you meet someone with awful dating behavior, do you take the time to call them on it?” What may be awful to me, may be okay with someone else, so that means their just not the person for me.

“There is a lot to be said about self-awareness. Many of us lack it!” No truer word have ever been spoken.

“Are you guilty of clinging to bad dating habits?” No, because I am who I am, not changing to satisfy everyone’s needs.

You have to make up your mind what habits you are willing to change for yourself, and what habits you are willing to deal with in someone.

“when you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you!!!”

Comon Cents

October 9th, 2012
8:20 am

I cosign on C’s 6:01. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks, nor am I interested in trying. All that does is frustrate you and the dog.

Good morning bloggies!

Celisea...blogging from NC

October 9th, 2012
8:21 am

And for the record (before I start my day), I don’t have to blog as others to say what I want…I’m no boob!! I will say though, it caracks me up when someone other than myself get it said. Apparently things aren’t transparent to just me…..lolololol :mrgreen:

Just wanted to get that said since another time folks attached me in my absence.

Celisea...blogging from NC

October 9th, 2012
8:24 am

Attacked……my baaaaad

bye!!!

Exiled!

October 9th, 2012
8:33 am

Sexing while liqoured then dating
Getting liquored,getting laid then falling in luv with him

Getting sexed then wanting to ‘claim’ the man,’ the sex makes the relationship’ theory!
Giving it up quick is no guarantee..see above
Giving it up waay late does not help either unless he is also celibating..learn to know when is right.
Don’t solicit me for money to pay this or that after we sex …that is a Ho move. Pay your own damn bills!
Sexing u does not give u the excuse to blow my phone…u grown,take the sex in stride!

(I gave u a sexing license there ladies)

Lady~cool beans :-)

October 9th, 2012
8:54 am

Howdy C & MIA~

Interesting topic!!!! ;) LOL @ Ex as always!

let me get settled in a long work day awaits!

Kimmie

October 9th, 2012
9:02 am

Morning all!

I am not trying to change anyone. I constantly work on improving myself tho. Not just for my man, but myself and the world. I aim to always be a pleasant person to be around.

Like I said earlier, I am not trying to change anyone. Though if I really care about someone and they r doing something they might be unaware of that is offensive to people, if I feel close to them I may kindly bring it to their attention. Other than that I leave it alone. Some dudes freak at any slight thing & think u r trying to change them. Naw dude, do u & what works for u and I’ll do the same.

Comon Cents

October 9th, 2012
9:12 am

Some dudes freak at any slight thing & think u r trying to change them.

Ain’t that the truth, kimmie?!?

disco

October 9th, 2012
9:15 am

good morning.

ex – re the ho move. I think of the comedian (adele givens maybe) and the joke “you can call me a ho but you can’t call me broke”.

as for my bad dating habits. I’m not claiming. lol.

Comon Cents

October 9th, 2012
9:17 am

disco~ You? With bad dating habits?!? I couldn’t imagine! :lol:

Seriously, I don’t know that wielding honesty like a blunt instrument is a bad dating habit, per se…

SlimUno

October 9th, 2012
9:26 am

Morning,

Exiled – Nice list there pahtna ;-)

Comon Cents

October 9th, 2012
9:33 am

Slim~ You gonna give him the female version of the list of don’ts?

disco

October 9th, 2012
9:36 am

CC – I suppose I have bad “pre-date” habits. might explain why I haven’t had a date in a while. of course, I’m the person who insists that there is a difference between a “date” and two folks going to get something to eat. lol.

O/T – next weekend erykah badu will be here. thing is she’s with rick smiley. I love erykah badu, I can’t stand rick smiley. decisions decisions.

halo46

October 9th, 2012
9:37 am

i did a bad habit just yesterday. paying for lunch on a blind date because after one glimpse, i knew i never wanted to see him again. for some reason, this is my move to let him down easy.

Comon Cents

October 9th, 2012
9:39 am

disco~ Again, blunt honesty is not a bad habit IMO. :lol: I have been accused of the same thing, but it doesn’t bother me in the least. If you can’t handle honesty, you definitely can’t handle me…

Comon Cents

October 9th, 2012
9:44 am

halo~ Not sure that would qualify as a bad habit to me either. That’s just common courtesy…

disco

October 9th, 2012
9:46 am

CC – you know how folks put quotes on the end of their emails. my current standby quote is “respect the truth”. I got that from a woman in a store who was schooling her daughter. the little girl was maybe 8 or 9 and apparently had been teased in school. the mother was telling her that it didn’t matter what folks said about her if it was true and it didn’t matter what folks said about her if it was a lie. she told the girl she had better learn to respect the truth. I wanted to high five that woman but I don’t suppose she would have taken kindly to my eavesdropping.

SlimUno

October 9th, 2012
9:46 am

CC – How about you kick off the list while I get these reports done. Lemme brainstorm a minute lol

SlimUno

October 9th, 2012
9:47 am

halo – Who hooked yall up? How did the blind date come about? I know I would never want to break bread with any dude I had not at least seen pics of.

Comon Cents

October 9th, 2012
9:56 am

Slim/Ex~ Ok. Here we go:

1. Don’t expect because you bought dinner you bought some puddy.
2. Cologne should be a subtle hint, not a bash over the head. (If you smell like you bathed in it, Ugh!)
3. Do not eye fondle other women wile you are out with me.
4. Too much liquor is not a good look for a dude. (Please don’t double fist…)
5. Don’t tkae me to some loud, overcrowded spot and then expect me to yell over the background noise to “get to know you”

halo46

October 9th, 2012
9:59 am

I was set up by a lady i met at the gym. don’t really know her but she showed me some professional pics of him. the pics were gorgeous. however, he showed up in his UPS uniform, unshaven, and a scull cap. wth. I always try to bring my A game on a first date. if he couldn’t figure that out, he doesn’t deserve to see me again.

Comon Cents

October 9th, 2012
10:07 am

halo~ UPS uniform = employed. IDK, was he coming from work? If he came to meet you straight from the J, I might have to give him a pass…

SlimUno

October 9th, 2012
10:09 am

halo – CC has a good point…I’m sure when you all decided on that time, that someone made mention that they would be leaving directly from work, yes or no?

halo46

October 9th, 2012
10:11 am

cc: really? professional men were staring at us in the restaurant, like what is she doing with him? It was my day off, so all I had on were jeans and stilleto heels. i just wasnt feeling him that way. oh, and also, he had a silver tooth on the side. lol just not my type. his body is probably tight, but it was hidden in the jacket. nothing i saw turned me on. lol

disco

October 9th, 2012
10:11 am

CC – don’t know if you were around when I recalled a couple of bad dates on here. one guy (lady at church wanted to hook me up with her visiting brother in law) showed up to the movie late (love and basketball by the way), he was smelling like he crawled out of a barrel of beer and he took a phone call during the movie. neither he nor his sister in law seemed to understand when I said I would pass on a repeat. went to the zoo with another guy, cousin of a co-worker, and he insisted on carrying his gun which to me was already a bad sign. I convinced him to leave the gun in the car. turns out the gun wasn’t the worst of it. dude was like dr. Doolittle up in the spot. literally making animal sounds. imagine a grown man barking like a seal. after the zoo I advised him that I didn’t really care for Chinese food but he still took me to a Chinese restaurant. I got to work Monday and told old girl that she knew her cousin was crazy. lol. so, to add to the list.

1) be on time or even reasonably late (dude showed up around the time sanaa lathan returned to omar epps being engaged)

2) don’t drink too much beforehand. if you have to get liquored up to date me you obviously picked wrong. throw me back.

3) barring straight up emergencies, don’t make phone calls. it’s rude.

4) leave your gun at home. lol.

5) don’t take me someplace that I already told you I don’t want to go to.

6) not even going to address talking to animals.

halo46

October 9th, 2012
10:13 am

slimuno: no actually he said he was leaving the gym at 11am. So we met a 1pm. he starts work at 4pm. so he had an opportunity to clean up and bring his A game. maybe he didn’t expect for me to be attractive. whether he did or not, he still should have tried his best. at least take off the skull cap and put on a tight ups sweater or something.

halo46

October 9th, 2012
10:16 am

another test that i do for me is if i offer to buy lunch, as a gentleman, you should say ‘no, let me get it’. steve harvey 101. lol

Leggs

October 9th, 2012
10:24 am

disco ~ did you sit at the table with your arms folded staring him down as he scoffed down his food. Sounds like he’s the “scoffing” type. And, anybody talking on the phone in the movies needs to be kicked in the shin!

It’s rare that I’m late for anything (other than work). I expect the same from my dates. Be on time, and if you can’t try not to be more than 10-15 mins late.

MORNING!

SlimUno

October 9th, 2012
10:28 am

halo – I sort get your point but if someone offered to pay for my lunch I wouldn’t argue with them lol…that’s what happens when you spring a pop quiz on a person.

disco

October 9th, 2012
10:31 am

good morning leggs – I didn’t show out too much. this was the fool with the gun in the car. lol. I didn’t even go in the restaurant. when I realized we had arrived at a Chinese restaurant I was feeling some kind of way. told him to go ahead and get himself some takeout and take me back to my car.

halo46

October 9th, 2012
10:37 am

slimuno – you are correct! lol thus, my bad habit.

Celisea...blogging from NC

October 9th, 2012
10:39 am

OooooomaLord, there are sooooo many fine brothers here that it’s unreal!! And how big of a coincidence that I ran into Reggie?? We area scheduled for lunch tomorrow. Didn’t have my specs on and almost missed him. I asked my friend who was that waving so hard…..she said “Reggie” Of course my voice moved up about 3 octaves….saying “Reggie so and so?” lololol He said I was tryna be cute….lol

Soooo many fine men. Waaaay more than what we have at home :mrgreen:

Hey lady! Just popping in for a hot sec.

SlimUno

October 9th, 2012
10:42 am

Make sure your nails are clean and cut…not doing any chester chester child molester fanga’d dudes.

Leggs

October 9th, 2012
10:45 am

fee, you got some ’splaining to do. How come you never mentioned the fine men in NC???

Celisea ~ don’t drool too much. Enjoy the eye candy!

Leggs

October 9th, 2012
10:49 am

Sandusky gets 30 to 60 years!

Bluzgirl - The blogs boob?!?! LMAO!!!

October 9th, 2012
10:50 am

Everyone has some bad habits and we must take a look at what they are and change them. For example…always accusing people of things they are not doing…

Celisea...blogging from NC

October 9th, 2012
10:52 am

Leggs – I’m just mad Atlanta ain’t setup like this…..lol There are 7 towers connected

Lady~cool beans :-)

October 9th, 2012
10:53 am

Leggs

October 9th, 2012
10:56 am

Ummm, I need to find some relatives in NC and pay them a visit.

Celisea...blogging from NC

October 9th, 2012
10:56 am

Thanks!

I’m out :mrgreen:

disco

October 9th, 2012
11:05 am

leggs – I’m in NC. maybe I’m in the wrong place. lol.

Leggs

October 9th, 2012
11:09 am

I’m cracking up, disco! Damn, you’ve definitely rained on that parade (lololol).

Bluzgirl - The blog's boob?!?! LMAO!!!

October 9th, 2012
11:10 am

Leggs – I wonder how long Sandusky will actually be alive in prison. They don’t like child molesters in there at all…

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

October 9th, 2012
11:14 am

” Some dudes freak at any slight thing & think u r trying to change them. Naw dude, do u & what works for u and I’ll do the same.”

That’s not just a dude thing

Leggs

October 9th, 2012
11:14 am

Well, he’s not with the general public and will probably only get an hour in the courtyard (or wherever they let him get some air/sunshine on his skin). Anything can happen in that hour.

Comon Cents

October 9th, 2012
11:17 am

halo~ Ok, I feel you. I just wanted to make sure dude wasn’t getting a bad rap and had just come from work. In this economy, employed = viable candidate. :lol:

disco~ The worst date I ever heard of was a friend from college. She got set up on a date with a guy we went to school with. She had called dude and they had arranged to meet at his place and then go on to meet up with a group of his friends. When she arrived, dude was not dressed, already drinking. Then he informed her that she would need to drive as his license was suspended. :shock:

He took her to a gay bar. None of the people they were “supposed” to be meeting up with were tere and dude proceeded to hustle gay guys for drinks. At one point, he was double fisting vodka with no chaser. She then makes excuses for why they have to leave. As they are going to her car, dude proceeds to try to get her to go to another bar. When she politely refuses and they have arrived at her car, dude is on the ground “looking for bombs” under the cars. WTF?!? So, she goes to drive him back to his dorm and dude passes out (mercifully, I guess). When they arrive at his apartment and she wakes him up, dude tries to grope her. She politely extricates erself from the situation and jets. By the time she had called me, dude was calling her on the phone telling her what a great time he had and he felt like they really had a connection. :shock:

He then proceeded to call her repeatedly for the next few days trying to get her to go on a second date because “they were meant to be together”… :lol: :lol:

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

October 9th, 2012
11:19 am

Playing catch up, why would one bring their A game for a blind date?

Bluzgirl

October 9th, 2012
11:19 am

On topic…seriously…I know that I’ve had some really bad habits in regards to “dating” (like skipping the dating part and moving straight into relationship mode) – I’m working on changing those and feel like I’ve made a few positive steps forward.

CC and disco – I totally agree with your lists.