Dating: Unlearn bad habits!
There comes a time in every person’s romantic life when you have to stop and take self-inventory. You know those gut check moments when you start to realize that a lot of misadventures, drama, and disappointments all share something in common: YOU.
I know, it’s not sexy or fun, but it is definitely necessary. How many old attitudes and bad dating habits are we clinging to that run off potentially great matches? There is a lot to be said about self-awareness. Many of us lack it!
Some men think they are projecting some alpha male image and it attracts women to them. They may not realize that they go overboard sometimes and can appear cold and distant. Some women believe they have the hot body and great sex to offer and that is enough to get and keep a man (It’s not, by the way).
So maybe it is worthwhile to figure out what dating habits we need to drop. Determine those old attitudes about the opposite sex that are most likely making us bitter about love. Are you guilty of clinging to bad dating habits?
If you meet someone with awful dating behavior, do you take the time to call them on it?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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299 comments Add your comment
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
11:19 am
Bluz~ What’s with the “blog’s boob”? I miss a few days and y’all got new ish up in here?
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
11:21 am
CC – OMG! That is a funny story, but I sure feel for that girl! I think I would have pushed him out of my car onto the ground without waking him up.
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
11:24 am
CC – look at today’s first comment…I’m pretty sure it was directed at me. Some people just like to hold onto negativity and start their day off with it. I just laugh at it!
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
11:25 am
The funniest part is that there was nothing bad said on Friday…It’s just plain comical to me. When people are so paranoid, it makes you wonder what they are up to
Leggs
October 9th, 2012
11:27 am
I might have left him at the gay bar hoping someone there would give him a ride!
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
11:27 am
Ahhh.. Ok. I guess I missed all of that. (Thankfully)
Back to my friend, she had a string of bad dates (dude being the worst) but she finally got a great dude and they are married with a baby now. So, I guess happy endings are possible even if you are a serial bad dater.
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
11:27 am
Leggs~ I believe that she tried to leave him, but couldn’t shake dude.
halo46
October 9th, 2012
11:28 am
S&H: Idk, mayble it’s just me. Bring your A game on a blind date or 1st date, so there will be a second date. First impressions go a long way.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 9th, 2012
11:28 am
Comon, you will get headache, trying to figure out what some people are talking about.
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
11:31 am
S/H – I get a feeling you and I are supposedly the same person again. LOL!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 9th, 2012
11:33 am
Halo, for me blind dates are going to casual, no pressure dates, because I may not want a second date. If I’m going to bring my A game its going to be because I want to get to know you. Not because someone thought we might be good together, but to each his own.
But also for me, blind dates and first dates are different.
Blind date = quick lunch or something similar so if we don’t mesh, it’s over quickly
1st date = I put some thought into what where we are going, and I’m trying to get to know you.
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
11:33 am
S/H~ Is that the pounding I’m feeling? I thought it was just work stress…
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 9th, 2012
11:34 am
I guess bluz, not even trying to figure it out.
disco
October 9th, 2012
11:34 am
CC – re old girl’s date. I went out once a few years ago with a guy I met at a friend’s house party. first date was cool, we met at a restaurant for brunch. after that I noticed in subsequent phone conversations re making plans to get up he always suggested I drive. finally got to the bottom of it and turns out he had a breathalyzer attached to his steering wheel.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 9th, 2012
11:34 am
It may be comon, it may be (LOL)
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 9th, 2012
11:36 am
Bad dating habits = you’re dating the same people and complaining about it.
Just dating = you’re dating the same people and it’s not a problem.
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
11:36 am
OK – Not gonna waste any more of my time on her…
disco – that is crazy…I think I would laugh my a$$ off if I saw a breathalyzer attached to dude’s car. Then again…with the guys who are attracted to me, I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens one day! LOL
Mrs. SexyCool
October 9th, 2012
11:39 am
If the UPS man had looked like his professional pictures just coming from work, I would think that he wouldn’t need to be set up on a blind date.
*Almost* everybody looks great in professionally done shots.
But if he didn’t do it for you, he didn’t do it for you.
When I met my husband, he didn’t really do ‘it’ for me right out of the box. But he had a great smile, nice eyes and a soothing voice. I thought it was worth coming back for a second look.
disco
October 9th, 2012
11:39 am
bluz – I actually never saw the breathalyzer. he eventually came clean as to why he was always inviting me places and asking me to drive. by the way, we only ever had the one date for brunch. I drove my car, he drove his. after that I was insistent that we could meet wherever and he was always pushing for me to pick him up. needless to say, that went nowhere fast.
Mrs. SexyCool
October 9th, 2012
11:40 am
And yes, like Comon said…UPS = solidly employed.
But then again, I guess he really didn’t compare to all of the professional men who caught your eye instead.
Mrs. SexyCool
October 9th, 2012
11:44 am
The bad habits that I had to learn were giving in to physical urges too soon, giving no thought to what I really wanted in a mate when choosing to date a person, seeing something that wasn’t there, thinking every connection was a love connection.
Leggs
October 9th, 2012
11:53 am
“…finally got to the bottom of it and turns out he had a breathalyzer attached to his steering wheel.”
I know I wasn’t supposed to laugh, but I did.
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
11:57 am
with the guys who are attracted to me, I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens one day! LOL
If that happens, please don’t tell the blog, because I would be forced to tease you unmercifully and I would HATE to have to do that…
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
11:57 am
Leggs~ Don’t feel bad. I laughed too.
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
11:58 am
Mrs. SC – I pretty much have those same habits that I’m learning to break…
disco
October 9th, 2012
11:58 am
MrsSC – I know I am a bit on the cynical side but re your comment about thinking every connection was a love connection. am I the only one who has that friend who is in love with each and every single person she talks to? am I the only one who has ever listened to someone repeat what her guy told her and I’m thinking “and you believe that BS”? I’m just curious. is it just me?
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
11:59 am
CC – I think I would keep that one secret and keep it moving away from that guy! I’m learning to be careful what I tell ya’ll! LOL!
Robert
October 9th, 2012
11:59 am
” Are you guilty of clinging to bad dating habits?”
As a Man I am constantly reminded of my past and the dating choices I have made. I have dated women who think I send the wrong kind of perceptions. For example most women think because I have traveled a lot and lived in many major cities (DC, NY, CH, ATL, etc.) that I am a “Player” and I am not looking to settle down. Regardless of how much time, energy, love & passion I put into the relationship I still can not overcome this perception even if it is not true. Women will still believe you have not changed your bad habits. Will somebody please give an honest man a chance? “Perception” is 9/10th of the law.
Leggs
October 9th, 2012
12:01 pm
Bluz ~ we are aware of your bad habits. Anybody can change, or rather re wire themselves to yield better outcomes. However, one must want to do it with more than mere words.
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
12:02 pm
disco~ No, it’s not just you. However, I don’t tend to STAY friends with in them in the long term. Go back to that “honesty like a blunt instrument” comment. Either they get sick of the honesty or I get sick of their stupidity. **shrugs** Go figure!
disco
October 9th, 2012
12:02 pm
lol. robert – that read, to me, like “will someone please hook a brother up”.
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
12:03 pm
Robert~ So what happened with Benita (that was her name, right?) You guys seemed all hot to hook up… IJS
i'm swiss
October 9th, 2012
12:03 pm
With Bluz‘ luck, the breathalyzer would probably also make little honking sound when dude blew in it… he-honk he-honk
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
12:03 pm
Possesion, not perception is 9/10ths of the law… IJS
disco
October 9th, 2012
12:04 pm
swiss – stop.
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
12:05 pm
swiss~
That actualy made me SOL. (snort out loud)
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
12:08 pm
I had an old friend who fell in love with every single man that showed her interest and she would be devastated when he didn’t like her back. She went full steam on each of them…I tried to help her with it and tell her to chill some, but she was not capable.
Leggs
October 9th, 2012
12:09 pm
“…most women think because I have traveled a lot and lived in many major cities (DC, NY, CH, ATL, etc.) that I am a “Player” – Really??? That’s no reason to think someone is a player…are you tooting your own horn (lol). J/K
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
12:10 pm
swiss – Now that was funny right there…
Leggs
October 9th, 2012
12:10 pm
Bluz ~ sounds like you have a twin!!!!
Mrs. SexyCool
October 9th, 2012
12:11 pm
Oh and one more bad habit…not trusting my own instincts.
disco – you are not the only one. I have just learned to nod and smile with one of my friends. I am glad that some so-called friends have weeded themselves out and that the majority of the friends who now make up my closest friends have good sense…most of the time.
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
12:12 pm
Leggs – I do think I’m starting to get better at re-wiring. I know that I did start off on the wrong foot with Magnum, but I did see pretty quickly that we were not a love match and didn’t put up with his bs. That was actually a pretty big step for me. Not chasing him after I knew he was wrong for me…
Bluzgirl
October 9th, 2012
12:14 pm
Leggs – Trust me…she was bad about it. I know ya’ll think that I fall for every guy, but I really don’t. There have been plenty that I did not give a second look too.
disco
October 9th, 2012
12:16 pm
leggs – to quote nelly. just kidding like Jason, unless you gone do it. you were kidding but you meant it or at least i think you meant it. lol.
re different strokes and all that. forgive me for thinking all crazy and warped but, any of y’all ever think about the adult nerd population (think the band geeks and the audio visual squad and the chess club kids all grown up) and what player means to them. lol. we all have an idea of what a player is but whose to say someone else doesn’t have a completely different idea. those pocket protector wearing brothers could be running mad game.
Leggs
October 9th, 2012
12:21 pm
Bluz ~ you’re still fooling yourself with your 12:12. You didn’t see it quickly, you pratically forced a love match and you did put up with his bs, he refused to put up with yours. Now, you can rewire once you’ve faced the truth.
Motto for today “respect the truth!”
Now, you’re a better woman!
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
12:23 pm
Daaannnnggg! Leggs coming back from convalescing hard! No sugar coating anymore.
Leggs
October 9th, 2012
12:24 pm
I meant it, disco!
Mrs. SexyCool
October 9th, 2012
12:25 pm
disco – you just made me think of The Big Bag Theory – Sheldon and Amy Farrah Fowler (or something like that…)
Leggs
October 9th, 2012
12:27 pm
Sugar coating and I have never really been good friends. It’s best to be truthful while trying to remain respectful. Only then can a person grow.
Comon Cents
October 9th, 2012
12:30 pm
Leggs~ True. True…