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Dating: The one that got away

Most of us have someone from our past who we regret letting go. It’s probably something that nags you from time to time. Thinking about all the what ifs: What if I wasn’t such a crappy boyfriend/girlfriend? What if I had not been a selfish jerk with commitment issues? Perhaps you feel as if there is some unfinished business between the two of you.

Is it a good idea to try and go rekindle things with the one that got away? One of my friends recently connected with a guy who considered her the one that got away. It wasn’t long before he told her that he never stopped loving her and wanted to give their relationship another shot. However, with so much time since they were last together, what are the chances another try would stick this time? Would you be open and willing to the idea?

When you think about how much we grow and change over the time (hopefully for the better?), is it possible to actually reconnect with someone from your past and make it work?

Do you have someone who is on your short list of regrets? Do you ever wonder if they are still available?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

92 comments Add your comment

Paul Myres

October 8th, 2012
7:10 am

There is probably that one, for everyone. Life goes on!

Exiled!

October 8th, 2012
8:03 am

No..there ain’t any that got away.

Off topic:

The Georgia GirlDogs got beat!

As The Falcons are a surprise
Happy Monday MIA!

Infield Fly Rule

October 8th, 2012
8:06 am

I tried reconnecting with the one that got away in college almost 17 years ago and it just wasn’t the same. Yep, life goes on.

MsAtl

October 8th, 2012
8:23 am

Morning all.
No, there isn’t “one that got away” in my life, however, to answer your question, I do think it is possible to reconnect with someone from your past and make it work. It would depend on how and why the relationship ended and whether the parties have grown and/or the issues have been resolved.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

October 8th, 2012
8:31 am

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but going back can be full of regrets.

This like everything else depends on the people. I’ve went back before. But in going back I was prepared to take the good with the bad. But even then things just didn’t work out.

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
8:54 am

Goooood mertning

When you think about how much we grow and change over the time (hopefully for the better?), is it possible to actually reconnect with someone from your past and make it work? NOPE

Do you have someone who is on your short list of regrets? Do you ever wonder if they are still available? NOPE

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
9:24 am

Sooooo how was everyone’s weekend? crickets…..crickets

kimmie

October 8th, 2012
9:36 am

Morning All!

Just decided I’d come in and speak. Nothing to add to the topic.

I’ll come back later when we start talking about something else.

disco

October 8th, 2012
9:46 am

hey y’all. good morning. I definitely have one that got away. I joke that I went through my allotted share of good guys in my youth when I wasn’t even really checking for the good guys. rephrase. I was checking for them, I just wasn’t ready for anything serious, long-term, permanent at that time. by the time I was ready (35 or so) the pickings were super-slim.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

October 8th, 2012
9:52 am

Disco the pickings aren’t super slim, you just looking up to high (rotflmao)

disco

October 8th, 2012
9:53 am

slim – it was a tv weekend or at least a tv sunday. watched an old movie “the heart is a lonely hunter” (or something like that) with alan arkin and cicely Tyson. pretty decent. also watched the new steel magnolias and the carlina white story last night. keke palmer grew up to be such a pretty young lady. not that she wasn’t a cute child but I remember thinking repeatedly during the movie that she was so pretty. did the same thing while watching sparkle re jordin sparks.

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
10:10 am

Disco – What were your thoughts on the Steele Magnolia’s??

disco

October 8th, 2012
10:24 am

slim – I wasn’t really a fan of the original steel magnolias and I was kind of curious as to why a remake was even done. still, I watched it and it wasn’t bad. I won’t buy the dvd to watch it over and over but it was okay.

kimmie

October 8th, 2012
10:29 am

Where is everybody??

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
10:36 am

I’m still here but I guess some folks are off for Columbus Day…makes for a slow ass blog morning. WACK

disco

October 8th, 2012
10:40 am

ahhh yes. Columbus day. well at least my commute was relatively easy. lol.

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
10:43 am

disco – I actually liked the original movie but even still, like you, I have no idea why a remake was warranted. It just seemed soooo random. lol

Looks like I’ll have the house to myself this week. The beau dipped out this morning for his week long hiatus in Miami. Then when he gets back he has to turn right around and head to Panama for work. I’ll be getting my Al Bundy on all week ;-)

disco

October 8th, 2012
10:52 am

I’ve got a jones to visit a thrift store, goodwill, consignment store, something. must be something out there for me to find. last night I watched a youtube video on ways to wear scarves. there are some creative folks in this world. I spent a few minutes practicing a few methods I want to try.

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
11:19 am

disco – I haven’t really been into scarves but i have noticed how it can really make an outfit…I heard that Vagina Power chick on the Bert Show this morning. I’ll have to listen to it later when I get off. It was hard to hear what she was saying here.

kimmie

October 8th, 2012
11:23 am

Salem, your kingdom must come down
Salem, your kingdom must come down

The theme from the show Boss. Don’t know why that’s stuck in my head this morning.

disco

October 8th, 2012
11:30 am

slim – I have lots of scarves but generally will use them as headwraps or even will wear them around my waist. thinking I might try to get into wearing them around the neck as I often find myself liking the look on other people. I’m also glad it’s cooling off so I can wear my new skinny cords. I told my brother I was going out to buy some “young girl boots”. he laughed but said he knew what I was talking about.

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
11:34 am

disco – I get mad when I see someone with some tall fitted boots on. My legs are so skinny so I have not had much luck in finding some that won’t be ‘baggy’ on my legs. They need to be fitted and not looking like me wearing a pair of Oprah’s jeans. :shock:

disco

October 8th, 2012
11:51 am

slim – I have the opposite problem. my calves are kind of big and I have a difficult time finding boots with zippers that go all the way up my leg. most boots I zip up halfway and they won’t budge beyond that. I have a cousin like you though. we laugh at her little pencil legs sticking up out of her boots. she’s miss size zero long.

DuShawn

October 8th, 2012
12:02 pm

wow. boots and scarves…really.

disco

October 8th, 2012
12:09 pm

dushawn – it’s all we got. besides no one else is/was here. you are here now. what you got?

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
12:14 pm

Yeah Dushawn….so us what you got in your hands…we’re grabbing at straws here. Plus it’s lunch time so its about to be tumbleweeds in here soon.

disco

October 8th, 2012
12:16 pm

slim – the tumbleweeds left. said they were getting out of dodge.

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
12:24 pm

disco – damn now that’s bad :lol:

Leggs

October 8th, 2012
12:32 pm

I can say with all sincerity none of them was “the one who got away.” I didn’t date a whole lot but when I did….I just remember, one did get away…the bus driver that I dated a few months that cowardly stopped seeing me by going ghost. Looking back, he wasn’t “the one who got away” because his cowardice was front and center so I dodged a bullet by not putting too much damn stock in someone who couldn’t stand up like a man.

Good afternoon.

DuShawn

October 8th, 2012
12:41 pm

@Leggs- “…cowardly stopped seeing me by going ghost.” Do you feel he owed you an exit conversation? Sometimes what you don’t say, says it all.

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
12:44 pm

LEGGS! How is it going chica?

kimmie

October 8th, 2012
12:45 pm

I don’t really look at anyone as “the one that got away” anymore. I just look at it as not meant to be. There was one back from college I used to wonder “what if” about, but again, just wasn’t for me.

As for reconnecting with someone from the past, under the right circumstances it absolutely can work. I’ve seen it happen.

kimmie

October 8th, 2012
12:51 pm

Sometimes what you don’t say, says it all.

And there you have it. I can’t speak for Leggs, but I have had guys get ghost on me. No, I’m not a “closure” needing chick, but it does say a lot that you can’t just say “hey, this isn’t working for me”. The crazy part is these dudes ending up trying to double-back down the road, each and every one! It’s stupid to burn a bridge and stupid is very unattractive to me!

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
12:51 pm

Like I said before, I don’t have a “one that got away’ but there is this guy that i know, we were never together, that I was always curious if we would’ve worked out had we tried it. He was just too dayum busy to even establish a foundation to move forward. So I suppose this really falls under “What If’ and not a “Got Away” scenario

Mrs. SexyCool

October 8th, 2012
12:53 pm

No one that got away for me either.

kimmie

October 8th, 2012
12:54 pm

Slim – That was more my situation too. Never got together, but I used to wonder…….

kimmie

October 8th, 2012
12:59 pm

Hey Mrs SCool!

DuShawn

October 8th, 2012
1:25 pm

I don’t have any that got away, but I did let some “keepers” go. The timing for me wasn’t right. Ironically, I ran into to my “what if” girl yesterday on Grant Park. We have known one another since Undergrad decades ago. I normally run into her about once or twice a year. I always compliment her on her beauty and she blushes and smiles. I ask if she’s still married, and she ask me the same. Then we jokingly say dayum! The way we look at each other when we speak, it’s obvious what we’re thinking. I originally met her husband (unbeknownst to me) in a business setting. He saw the school I went to on some documentation and said “you may know wife”. When he said her name my initial thought was, “you lucky mufakka.”

Leggs

October 8th, 2012
1:27 pm

“Do you feel he owed you an exit conversation? Sometimes what you don’t say, says it all.” – I agree with this to a certain extent.

When we are on the phone discussing dinner plans and what time I can expect you that evening, but none of that takes place, his being ghost did speak, but that was still a cowardly way of doing it. If you can take the time to discuss dinner, location and time all the while knowing none of it is taking place, you is a PUNK!

Hey, SlimUno! How you doing?

Hey Mrs. SexyC!

kimmie

October 8th, 2012
1:30 pm

Leggs – Wow, sounds like he stood you up, which is totally trifling! I thought he just stopped calling.

Mrs. SexyCool

October 8th, 2012
1:32 pm

Hello, y’all.

I’ve been married for a month. (lol)
I finally put the candids from the wedding online last night.
(We’re still waiting on the package from the official photographer.)

I know, kimmie, I’ll have to email you some. ;-)

SlimUno

October 8th, 2012
1:38 pm

Leggs – It’s definitely been an interesting few weeks. The marriage of my sis and ole boy is unraveling and she came up here last weekend looking fraile and sunken in weight wise. I ended up having to take her to the ER because apparently she had not been eating due to stress and keeping all the madness to herself. She could barely walk…was severely dehydrated. But we are on a road to getting things together but i think it’s in that bottoming out phase. Soooo much drama regarding the dude now. Hows it going….back therrrrr?

Robert

October 8th, 2012
1:39 pm

“The one that got away”

Sometimes I wish I had more time to;

1. 1980 – I was at Howard Univ. in Washington, DC and I met Debbie Allen.
2. 1984 – I was working in Baltimore and I met Oprah at a Jazz Club.
3. 1988 – I was working in NY City and I met Janet Jackson. Love @ 1st site

Leggs

October 8th, 2012
1:42 pm

Yes ma’am, I was stood up. He called me months later saying he needed to speak to me. I gave him the opportunity. Was told he was “digging” me too much and it scared him. I never understood people who date then bail out because they were catching feelings. Why date? Catching feelings is usually part of the equation unless you’re solely seeking chicks for that quick sexual fix. If you’re seeking more and possibly find it, why run?

1. Found it quicker than you thought you would.
2. Not ready to quick sampling the smorgasboard
3. Scared due to age of settling down
4. Selfish
5.

fee in nc

October 8th, 2012
1:42 pm

Hello Leggs and Kimmie….. my goodness its been ages since Ive been here. I was just looking at a post with all of us chitty chatting back in 09.. lol…

anyway Topic… nah all those that got away should have….

kimmie

October 8th, 2012
1:52 pm

Leggs – See & the idiot ended up coming back, like they all do! Yeah, and miss me with the “I liked you alot and it scared me” mess!

Hey Fee!!

DuShawn

October 8th, 2012
1:54 pm

“he was “digging” me too much and it scared him……” That’s a good one. Let me translate that for you. “I got a better offer that night, some sure shot. I couldn’t think of an excuse to give you for not showing, so I didn’t call. I’m free tonight. I know you not still mad. Can I come thru?

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

October 8th, 2012
1:54 pm

Hello everyone, I guess we’re the only ones who don’t have govement jobs (LOL)

Single and Happier "Life Happens!"

October 8th, 2012
2:00 pm

Dushawn, why you breaking the bro code (LOL)

fee in nc

October 8th, 2012
2:01 pm

Dudes always have a line, other than honesty… SMH…