Dating: It’s all about perception?
I have an ongoing argument with many of my guy friends about how they perceive women. Specifically, the way a man perceives a woman influences how they will approach her, the level of interest, and in some cases their intention.
My problem with this idea is that men can misread women a lot (I know women do this all the time too, though). So what happens is men size women up, determine her worth/value based on some kind of “system”. Then their effort/lack of effort is based on how they perceive the woman. Now my friends say that all men do this, even if they won’t admit it.
Women can’t ever know for sure how they are being perceived, so I don’t think this is something we should worry about. I just wonder if men are missing out on a lot of great opportunities because they have the wrong perception about a possible Ms. Right.
What do you think? Is it all about perception? If so, does this idea explain why so many of us meet fake people on the dating scene?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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142 comments Add your comment
Lily
October 3rd, 2012
6:48 am
Perception is reality, their reality. Sometimes I’m misread as well, but I don’t fret about it. How ironic this being the topic. I was checking on a friend about a week or so ago, who in turn complimented such a sweet gesture. Those that take the time to look beyond the outer are often pleasantly surprised!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
6:59 am
“Now my friends say that all men do this, even if they won’t admit it.” no all men don’t do this.
“Is it all about perception?” not for me
“What do you think?” I try not to perceive any anything about anyone without getting to know them first.
“does this idea explain why so many of us meet fake people on the dating scene?.” yes
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
7:03 am
Hey Y’all!!!!!!
Perception & Projection is a mofo sometimes~
Be Back Later!
Lily
October 3rd, 2012
7:07 am
Good morning Lady! You are in early today
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
8:01 am
I don’t know about other men but I have no system for approaching women I size her up the same way she would me. When I approach her I don’t use a matrix system as a guide of reference my intuition works very well. If she finds me unsuitable I’m fine it’s her perogative, if I percieve her to be a b!tch I may be wrong. I don’t percieve anything when I’m trying to cozy up with a woman. If somebody acts an ass then I will perceive them as that, I wont percieve anything in a courtship it’s easier to just ask.
SlimUno
October 3rd, 2012
8:02 am
I’m curious what perception I give others when they first meet/see me.
Good Willy Nilly Wednesday all
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
8:17 am
I think books are great even though I don’t read any…..LOL, but if this is coming from a book and speculation on how to find love and perceive people well the publisher is banking folks money. Sorry there are no love potions, books that give you day to day details to find happiness and it don’t take a lot of effort when it’s sincere. People who are faking literally fall to the way side.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
8:54 am
Slim you would probably get answers all over the place to that one.
Black, most of the books, and seminars usually only tell you common sense things, but because they wrote a book, they are an expert.
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
8:58 am
We All perceive each other!
That’s why youall are so predictable.
‘Hie Ms Common’..and she looks at me,smiles nicely but I check her looking at me up and way down. Why is that? Most women Never fail this imagery.
Sizing and getting your own perception.
And often for guys,we get cues if the chic is a talker. Based on our own preferences if she talks then she gives away what we want to know. Either we pass or we go for the jaguar. Pounce.
Because we got a Perception.
But once we get down to get down,we get the real deal.
Some of these Tomatoes look bright red. But they are really Rotten inside.
And yet others seem darkish brown,uninteresting and dull. But u get to k ow her closely,and u realize that she is some real sunshine inside.
And for the rest,what u see is what u get. Dark outside dark inside!
MsAtl
October 3rd, 2012
9:18 am
A man told me that if he had met me in the street rather than through a friend, he would not have approached me because I had a “get out of my face jigga” look. (Lol-raising an eyebrow). He said that I was not at all like he percieved me to be and he was glad he took a second look. That is not the first time I have been told that I look too serious, however, it is usually when I am in work mode. You go around Georgia courthouses with a cheese-eating grin on your face and you are likely to get frisked! I think I am a friendly person, but perception is not about reality; it is about the other person’s subjective thoughts.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
9:28 am
Single yep they are the experts after the book comes out.
MsAtl that’s exactly why I don’t perceive anything when I’m trying to court a lady, it’s always better to get your answers from the horses mouth. If you don’t like what the horse is saying it’s time to hi ho Silver away.
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
9:29 am
Morning,
Misfires and misreads, prejudge, passing judgements, missed the mark…all of it happens among us all. IMO, we have in mind what we want. We do the reverse and project that on people we see. Your idea of what suits you may not come across in a person of potential interest so, you pass judgement on what you perceive based on what you desire in a man or woman. So, we take a pass because of what we desire is not what’s perceived. That’s your perception is your reality. We have all probably done it.
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
9:30 am
That’s why your perception is your reality…is what I was saying. And really what don’t suit you is the jackpot for another.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
9:33 am
Morning Cely you got it right.
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
9:34 am
Hey there Blackfoote! How have you been?
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
9:39 am
Hangin Cely my dear, I’m expecting to have a great evening tonight. The Price Is Right is at the Fox and I have tickets to go. Gotta get down there early to register as a contestant then go have dinner at the Varsity. Trudge back to the Fox to hopefully win some cash and prizes. I know it’s a big hope………..LOL
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
9:42 am
Blackfoote – Cool. Win something big. You need me to go with you and help carry the stuff back to your car??? I KID I KID…LOL I hope you win big!! If you hit the jackpot, don’t be acting funny now…LOL
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
9:43 am
“Blackfoote Jones, c’mon down!! You are the next contestant on the Price is Right!!
MsAtl
October 3rd, 2012
9:50 am
Is it a taping Blackfoote? Good luck! Varsity for dinner??? Oh man!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
9:53 am
LOL…….thanks Cely for the mojo, you know I wont be doing the funny acting thing if I win.
My t-shirt will have the PIR logo and this saying imprinted on it.
The Price Is Right is in my town.
They called my name to Come On Down.
To play their games and win some prizes.
Flat screen tv’s in assorted sizes.
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
9:54 am
Awwwwwww sookie sookie now, a winner and a poet? Boy you better stop before you hurt somebody!! lololol
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
9:59 am
MsAtl I’m not sure it will be taped, I know Drew Carey isn’t the host. Another guy will be hosting the show.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
10:03 am
I know the Varsity for dinner, it’s the closets thing in the area. I’ll try not to consume too much to where I can’t participate in the show……LOL
kimmie
October 3rd, 2012
10:09 am
Morning All!!!
I’ve always been told I have a mean/serious look about me when I’m out and about. Usually I have a lot on my mind and just going over in my head what I need to do next. I try to have a pleasant demeanor, but I’m not going around grinning at everyone either. I do well in social settings, I don’t have my game face on. I’m appropriately dressed. I may not exactly be the life of the party, but I’m no wallflower either. I hold my own and like to laugh and have fun and talk to people.
With all that being said, folks are going to think what they want. When I was in the dating pool, I have had guys tell me for whatever reason they did not approach me and now they see I am not what they “thought”. I’ve been perceived as stuck up, boughie, etc, “until you get to know me”. Whatever! I can’t control any of that.
What I do know is this – initial impressions can be very powerful. If you are wearing the hootchie/thug/Amish/nerd/gangster/pimp/prostitute/etc uniform and you’re acting the part to boot, don’t get mad when folks take you at face value!!
MsAtl
October 3rd, 2012
10:24 am
Morning Kimmie. Stay out of my head! Lol. I agree with everything you just wrote. Especially the part about dressing AND acting certain ways at the same time. If you are “swaggering” and your pants are sagging, feel free to judge me as serious because I do not want you to speak to me. That said, I do wear my game face when I am on business and sometimes I catch myself looking serious when I have a lot on my mind. I am not stuck up, boughie, none of that; actually really down to earth.
Button
October 3rd, 2012
10:27 am
What Exile & Celisea said….
G’morning I’ve made perceptions and sometimes I’m dead wrong and other times, well I hit right on the head. I like it when I’m wrong though, it makes me to check myself to remember it’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what comes from within.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
10:33 am
Waving @ Lily! Yes I was up and out many things to do today and the major tasks are winding down finally, at any rate what have I missed?!?
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
10:34 am
Hey C!!!!
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
10:44 am
Heeey there Lady, what’s crackalackin!
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
10:50 am
Blackfoote – If you’re still reading, this might be of interest to you. I love this little spot. It’s not over the top, not too expensive. And it’s right next door to the Fox. Right on the corner. The only thing is that it’s usually packed in the evenings when the Fox have events. Check out the link.
http://www.publikatl.com/
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
11:05 am
Hey thanks Cely I’ll look for them before going to the Varsity, their menu looks very good.
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
11:16 am
When I think of perception, I think of my dog “Crunch”. He must have had twenty tattoos and ten brands. He grew up straight hood and was born into a hustling family. A lifetime ago when I had some outstanding street issues, he came to help with boxes on M-16’s, literally. On the surface, one would think my friend was a thug. In actuality, he graduated near the top of his high school class; earned a full academic scholarship to the University of Miami, graduated with a Mathematics Degree, became a Que and a Mason. His apartment looked like a library; bookshelves from floor to ceiling covered at least three walls. He must’ve had a thousand books… and actually read them. He could converse intelligently on anything from Foreign affairs to the Great Philosophers. When I was dating my wife, he would call her sister-in-law before I even thought about marrying her. I guess he knew before I did. He was smart like that. He was murdered ten years ago.
kimmie
October 3rd, 2012
11:17 am
Where is everybody?
kimmie
October 3rd, 2012
11:20 am
Sorry about that Dushawn. He sounds like a facinating person, the kind you meet very few of in a lifetime.
disco
October 3rd, 2012
11:23 am
good morning. I own up to having judged folks on first impression. sometimes without even having exchanged any words. sometimes my impression turned out to be spot on. other times I was way off the mark. I suppose there are countless folks that I’ll never know if I was right or not. as for being judged on a first impression, it is what it is.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
11:29 am
I just wonder if men are missing out on a lot of great opportunities because they have the wrong perception about a possible Ms. Right. <<<<<<,Makes me ponder too!!!!!! hmmmmmm!
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
11:30 am
interesting hmmmmmmm~
kimmie
October 3rd, 2012
11:31 am
disco – I own up to mine too. Heck, that and my gut are sometimes all I have to go on. And to be honest, I can’t think of a time I was dead wrong and really regret it. To clarify, I have not always been right, but not so far off I feel I missed out on a good opportunity. If I was off, I look at it as not meant to be anyway. Everyone or everything is not for you.
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
11:32 am
Piece of Cake just sent us a complimentary holiday cake….Peppermint Bark…Oooooh my goodness. Simple divine!!!
disco
October 3rd, 2012
11:34 am
kimmie – in particular, I wasn’t even thinking about a dating situation but a chick that I eventually became really cool with. when we first came into each other’s company I took one look at her and thought I had her sized up. even went so far as to say to myself (which I said to her later) “hmmm. she’s one of them”. lol. we laugh about it now. as for dating I know I’ve discounted guys off the bat because of their hair (cornrows, dreads, what have you) or other reasons. I know that they are not their hair but going in I’d already written them off because of it.
kimmie
October 3rd, 2012
11:40 am
I just wonder if men are missing out on a lot of great opportunities because they have the wrong perception about a possible Ms. Right.
Lady – I don’t ponder it at all. I’m a firm believer in fate and what’s meant for you is for you.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
11:48 am
yeah I agree with that too Kimmie~ maybe I am not feeling this topic…..can’t find the words to describe it~ #carryon pay me no mind! lol
kimmie
October 3rd, 2012
11:50 am
Disco – And see, when it comes to non-dating situations like you mentioned, there are usually other opportunities for you to get to know a person, like at work or if you travel in the same circles, belong to the same church, etc. I’d give anyone a pass on stuff like that.
But when it comes to dating, I’m a little more judgemental. You gotta bring it from jump, because I’m naturally going to be a lot more cautious. I am potentially sharing more of myself with this person and being vulnerable, so he better be on the up and up. Some level of trust and security has to be present in the beginning. If you come off menacing, dangerous, weak, unkept, poor hygiene, arrogant, punkish, stupid, ignorant – I’m not going to want to see what’s under the surface.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
12:00 pm
Rats my HC is the same weekend as Morehouse~ last yearI enjoyed SpleHouse HC very much~ lol #random
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
12:06 pm
SpelHouse that is okay done! lol
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
12:22 pm
Hie Ms Common’..and she looks at me,smiles nicely but I check her looking at me up and way down. Why is that? Most women Never fail this imagery.
Ex~ Why I gotta be looking down my nose at you?!? I hadn’t even been in this morning when you posted that!
Good Morning all!
On topic~ I believe it was Chris Rock that said “If you don’t want to be treated like a ho, then make sure you’re not wearing the uniform.” My sentiments exactly. I’m not saying that people cannot be more than they seem, but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, my instincts tell me it’s a duck and it’s going to take some pretty strong evidence to change my mind. IJS…
disco
October 3rd, 2012
12:26 pm
CC – I still think of joey buttafuco (sp?) when I hear that phrase though I think in his case the media hyped up snake instead of duck. lol.
i'm swiss
October 3rd, 2012
12:28 pm
Comon — I think you’re thinking of Dave Chappelle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uscmRI9ZrE
Love this bit…
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
12:36 pm
swiss~ I knew it was one of them.
disco~ I remember that. The Long Island Lolita and all. And you are right; they talked about snakes, not ducks. LOL!
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
12:57 pm
its almost 1! yes!
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
1:09 pm
So we conclude that everybody have perceptions of others…it’s natural. But if you intend to get to know someone, you’re willing to move beyond initial thoughts and judgements.
Lady – to your 11:29, I’m not really one that “size” folks up at a glance but if there are any words exchange, I may walk away with thoughts or ideas or wondering. But, as long as a person comes off pretty decent, I don’t see the harm in going further, whether it a situation of just friendship or a situation for potentially more. On the flip side of things, I’ve started off with a really good impression only to find out the person is not as stellar as led to believe. But, again, as with all interactions, sometimes you missed the boat and sometimes you dodge a bullet.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
1:17 pm
My thoughts exactly C~ I am not with sizing folks up either….I have developed so many valuable friendships of perception along…..(virtually) and I don’t apologize for it. I am who I am consistently and never had to be validated or part of the most popular group to sustain~ ……I take folks for who they are even those bandwagoning hard……I still treat them as an individual but long handed somewhat but they are viewing me from a group and not for who I am truly am. hell we too grown for this perception mess but it is a concern for many even those who proclaim it doesn’t bother them. acceptance is normal. everyone won’t jive and mesh but no need to view with a close mind either…..be open~
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
1:22 pm
meant off perception alone I have developed many friendships~
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
1:23 pm
Lad – everyone won’t jive and mesh but no need to view with a close mind either…..be open~
Love this statement. True, so true. The only time I’m really standoffish is when folks come off with ulterior motives. Other than that, I’m cool giving anybody a shot…initially. I say that because I’m OFTEN perceived as too abrasive so I try to give folks a shot. I’m not as open in the “man” department…lol I think someone said it earlier, if you’re hood, a thug, a hoodlum, fouled mouth, etc., nuh uh. I might be off the mark in those scenarios but it’s okay. I don’t mind being wrong…lol Like I said, either you missed the boat (there will be another one) or you dodged a bullet.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
1:26 pm
yup that sums it up C~ the nutshell of today’s topic…..
so what else is poppin’?!? lol
I am ready for another weekend of football~
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:00 pm
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
9:29 am
Morning,
Misfires and misreads, prejudge, passing judgements, missed the mark…all of it happens among us all. IMO, we have in mind what we want. We do the reverse and project that on people we see. Your idea of what suits you may not come across in a person of potential interest so, you pass judgement on what you perceive based on what you desire in a man or woman. So, we take a pass because of what we desire is not what’s perceived. That’s your perception is your reality. We have all probably done it.
Disco will you pass me a Tylenol
Ijk C (rotflmao)
SlimUno
October 3rd, 2012
2:03 pm
Did I miss anything? (judging by the lack of pages today, i’d venture to say HEYAL NAW)
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:07 pm
Single – At least I didn’t write in Chinese…lololol
Man, the cake is gone. Usually there’s half a cake left. I’m telling you holiday desert lovers…Peppermint Bark. And it wasn’t too sweet or too rich
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
2:09 pm
Dayum that girl can cook! My little childhood sweetheart is going hard trying to spoil me.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:11 pm
C you mean you had your cake and ate it too (rotlmao)
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:13 pm
Shawn~ I thought you weren’t going to hang out with the childhood sweetie. Or was I mistaken? (Well, obviously I was mistaken if she’s cooking for you…) Did you introduce her to the wifey?
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:13 pm
just wow lol~
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:13 pm
Single – I asked for that didn’t I?? Yup…looked, licked and ate. Not the same as human cake though…
Oh, I’ll allow a touche for that too
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:14 pm
Dushawn?
She was cooking…she invited you St the crib,wife in tow?
Now if it was just u and uall sipped on some wine…after….
I got no further questions your worship!
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:14 pm
At
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:14 pm
The best news I’ve heard in a long time.
http://www.11alive.com/news/article/259369/40/Lingerie-Football-League-adding-Atlanta-team
kimmie
October 3rd, 2012
2:15 pm
Celisea – So the cake exceeded everyone’s perceptions! LOL!!
Lame, I know!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:16 pm
I might be ready for some football (LOL)
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:16 pm
dead~
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:17 pm
Kimmie – LOL yep….Make sure y’all at least try a slice. Dang that thang was good. Peppermint Bark. The sent us a sample cake. This will be one of the holiday cakes.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:18 pm
uh oh, may have to get interested in basketball too (LOL)
http://www.11alive.com/News/Odd/259218/186/Atlanta-Fleet-Angels-set-for-Bikini-Basketball-League
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:18 pm
Lady – Don’t die yet….lolol The day ain’t over with.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:19 pm
Its better to give than receive ~ such a true statement! #randomness
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:21 pm
Single Ladies?? Question
see this where heffas get a leg up on all the other chics who think they got it together…I never seen nor heard of a biatch,heffa that can’t cook well. Neva!
All men and husband snatchers have mustered this art…Cooking and cooking well….and they know all the whistles and bells of snatching somebody’s men.
And u(single chic) are painting ur nails,u think u got this and that looking fly and u think a man will be impressed.
Nope?
Cook some on the stove,put on some dirty clothes and let me see u clean the kitchen floor
Bake some in the oven and let me smell some aroma coming outa the kitchen.
That wins a men!
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:21 pm
I can’t C pure hilarity!
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:22 pm
Man
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:22 pm
S/H~ Only you could figure out how to set football’s chauvinistic views back 100 years… Lawd, we just got to the point where we WEREN’T objectifying women so much in sports and now this. SMDH…
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:23 pm
lol Ex~ #truethough
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:23 pm
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:21 pm
“Single Ladies?? Question
see this where heffas get a leg up on all the other chics who think they got it together…I never seen nor heard of a biatch,heffa that can’t cook well. Neva!
All men and husband snatchers have mustered this art…Cooking and cooking well….and they know all the whistles and bells of snatching somebody’s men.
And u(single chic) are painting ur nails,u think u got this and that looking fly and u think a man will be impressed.
Nope?
Cook some on the stove,put on some dirty clothes and let me see u clean the kitchen floor
Bake some in the oven and let me smell some aroma coming outa the kitchen.
That wins a men!”
Perception (LMAO)
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:23 pm
Single – You dropped info on that league here, a couple of months ago. So you follow them? You’re a groupie??
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:23 pm
Ex~ I will be happy to do all of that, right after he pays all the bills and I stay at home all day. If we want to go back to old fashioned roles, let’s go ALL the way back…
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:24 pm
CC I didn’t start it, I just said now maybe I will enjoy it (LOL)
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
2:24 pm
Obviously we need a new topic. Today was the fifth lunch. I also stopped by her spot one Friday night and we killed a bottle of wine. We flirt a little bit, but that’s been the extent of it.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:25 pm
C it was information about what it was, this story is about the teams coming to Atl. I’m not a groupie yet, but I might become one (LOL)
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:29 pm
Shawn~ So, you didn’t answer my question. Have you introduced/told the wifey to/about her yet?
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:30 pm
Well, I’m getting out of here a bit early today, gonna play a little
nookiehookie…. JUST KIDDING!!!!! I am leaving early thoughComon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:32 pm
C~ So what did you decide about asking you friend to the company weekender?
SlimUno
October 3rd, 2012
2:33 pm
I left work early yesterday and I took Friday off…just need some ME time. Ya feeeel me?
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:33 pm
Bye C~
peace mia~
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
2:34 pm
-Comon Cents- No, I have not told anyone….well except the world wide web.
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:35 pm
Old fashioned?
Taking care of ur man in that manner, is not ‘old fashioned’
It’s just being feminine
If I just want another body in the house I could just get a room mate…
Then go out every now and then to get my lay on.
U get it Common?
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:36 pm
Comon – I didn’t ask because I didn’t feel a good opening. Honestly, we have been friends months longer than I’ve revealed.
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:37 pm
Now Common,granted ur hubby cooks for a living but still
If he set the tone early on in ur relationship and he let u slip on that part….
His fault!
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:38 pm
Later Lady
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:40 pm
Shoot, Monday is a holiday, I’ll be chilling in NC Tuesday and Wed…lol I won’t be back to “working” for real until Thursday
SlimUno
October 3rd, 2012
2:43 pm
Cel – I laughed when someone asked if we were closed for the holiday. I was like Yeaaaaah right. We’re lucky we get Thanksgiving and Christmas. The beau will be at home in Miami all week long, lucky him.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
2:45 pm
I come back and Single had to put the lingerie league out here. Now I’m gone have to buy season tickets.
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:46 pm
Slim – That’s funny cause I asked my sister what she was doing Monday and she looked at me as if I’d grown two heads…lol That’s the good thing about being here. The bad thing though is for major holidays, WE ARE CLOSED JUST ONE DAY, whereas many places are closed say Christmas Eve, the day after Thanksgiving and NYE.. I’m all salty then…lol I think though we get 10 or 11 holidays
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:47 pm
Slim – You should have tucked away in his luggage
Willie Dynamite
October 3rd, 2012
2:50 pm
Afternoon all,
Topic- perception hunh? I imagine once you reach adulthood you learn to balance your own perception vs reality and deal with it.
What else you folks got going on?
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:51 pm
Ex~ Yes, Old Fashioned. That notion of women doing all of those things to get (and keep) a man comes from a time when women didn’t work outside of the home. So, if you want those things now, you need to take me back to a time when that’s all I had to worry about. I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if I am going to go out and work all day and then come home and make you drinks and dinner while you lay around and do nothing. If I have taken on parts of the traditional man role then I think it’s only fair that he take on parts of the traditional woman role.
Shawn~ So, where are you going with this? Since you haven’t told anyone (outside of the web) are you just trying to get some (not so) strange on the side or what? If you want to be loyal to the wifey, why are you even playing with fire? You can’t tell me that you are not cognizant of the fact that sooner or later you are going to plow old girl…
SlimUno
October 3rd, 2012
2:51 pm
Cel – When I got asked that question i’m thinking, “I’m going to work, that’s what i’m doing DUH” lol He hasn’t left yet, he’ll probably head down there this weekend. I believe he decided to drive rather than fly. I’m supposed to be going to Philly to visit one of my best friends at some point this month, once we coordinate dates. So i’m going to chill on FL for now.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:51 pm
WD, isn’t usually the other way around, when you reach adult hood is when you start thinking perception is reality?
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:53 pm
So Dushawn,wifey ain’t getting introduced to this lady right?
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:54 pm
C I was sitting thinking holiday Monday, I didn’t know she lived in Canada (LOL)
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:54 pm
Slim – That’s the reaction for “play play” holidays…as my brother calls them….lol Okay, cool. A mini getaway is ALWAYS nice. I plan on straight “chilling” this weekend on into next week
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:55 pm
Single – Some of us are special. We ain’t gotta leave the country to get funky days off
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:55 pm
Common?
So u and hubby have a whiteboard in the kitchen somewhere with job duties for the week..
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
2:56 pm
Exiled – I agree. Baby girl making me feel special. We eat at the big dining room table on the square plates, with Martha Stewart type china and silver. She places the cloth napkin in my lap before I dine, like a King. The food is outstanding. Today we had the salmon with the penne pasta and some type of pink shrimp and lobster sauce, small house salad.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:56 pm
C, lost man day I mean Columbus Day is a funky holiday, Hell he never stepped foot on the US soil (LOL)
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:57 pm
Now I understand American women issues better Common with all this 50-50 equality u preach.
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
2:59 pm
- CC- I have no plans to introduce her to wifey. Actually, I think the frequency of my visits will be short lived. The initial enthusiasm and infatuation has subsided for me.
Willie Dynamite
October 3rd, 2012
3:00 pm
S&H – for ME perception is subjective I can show the representative or be the proverbial wolf in Sheeps clothing. Reality is grounded moreso in fact. IMHO
Willie Dynamite
October 3rd, 2012
3:03 pm
Du- I hear ya man. You sound like Bill Belichic right now at a post game press conf. Hahaha
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
3:03 pm
Single – I have no quams about it…all I know is Imma be kicked back enjoying the time off
What’s up WillieD – I agree with your “reality is grounded more so in fact.”
Alright folks, I’m out of here!!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
3:06 pm
WD as kids most would play with anybody, if you did not, most of the time it was because of what your PARENTS perceived them to be. At the time most didn’t have an opinion about anything or anyone. Enter adulthood, and we start to form opinions because of outer appearance, or what we’ve heard, or perceive them to be. Some of us realized that what you see is not what it is. and we’re open to getting to know someone before forming an opinion.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
3:07 pm
C, I fell you there, there are several holidays I don’t celebrate, but I’ll sure take the days off (LOL)
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
3:08 pm
Single – I’m so darn confused on “felling” me…lol Just kidding
Bye!!
Willie Dynamite
October 3rd, 2012
3:08 pm
Cel- what’s up? Dayum I need your sched. Need to start taking more notes.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
3:08 pm
Dushawn, was she doing all this when you were with here before?
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
3:09 pm
her I mean
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
3:10 pm
WilliiiiieeeD – Cause I got it like that. No, no, no…just kidding. Don’t wanna get to big for my britches. May get knocked a notch or two.
Alright for real, later folks!
Willie Dynamite
October 3rd, 2012
3:10 pm
S&H- same thing I said. Do I need a Tylenol from Disco’s stash now.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
3:11 pm
WD trying to stretch this blog out (LOL)
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
3:14 pm
Shawn~ So if the intitial infatuation and enthusiasm has subsided, why are you still seeing her?
Ex~ Actually, I do have a whiteboard in my kitchen (2 actually) but they are less for te hubs and I and more for the kids. One is a calendar with all the family activities on it. The other is for chores, notes, etc. The hubs and I don’t need those for our split though. It’s really simple. You cook, I clean. I cook, you clean. He does the day to day bathroom and laundry (because he gets home earlier) and I do the deep cleaning on the weekends. Everyone puts their own laundry away and the kids participate in folding everone’s laundry except mine. Easy peasy.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
3:18 pm
CC why don’t you let the kids fold your laundry (mommy, how do you use this slingshot) (LMAO)
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
3:19 pm
Forget you C, you fell me (rotflmao)
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
3:21 pm
S/H~ I don’t let the kids fold my laundry because I am very particular about how things go into my drawers and they will end up having to be refolded anywa. Therefore, rather than waste time, they just don’t fold my things.
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
3:46 pm
-Single- She could always cook. We never dated as adults, so she never really had the opportunity.
-Comom- I’m seeing her because she is an old friend…..and she’s pretty and fine.
MsAtl
October 3rd, 2012
3:50 pm
Okay, I step away for a while and come back to find out that I have missed a whole lot of O/T stuff~ Shawn trying to get himself in trouble and folks wanting us to go out & work full time then come home to don an apron & grab a mop bucket. Wth?
My own O/T- those of you who ar in law-related fields (attorney, paralegal, etc.) would it be inappropriate for me to shed my lady gloves for just a moment and kick opposing counsel’s a$$? I am so sick of the discovery games! How do you sue someone, then play hide the ball with discovery?
Okay, 5:00 needs to get here so I can refresh and rewind.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
3:50 pm
D so in the younger days It was just great sex as you put it. (you can’t turn a h into a housewife, so when she started cooking that was the end of the it)
Just kidding (LOL
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
3:52 pm
MsAtl, here’s my motion to suppress (LOL)
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
4:04 pm
-Single- She’s always been a classy, star chick. But I don’t want her and she knows it. Soon my calls will stop.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
4:06 pm
I understand you Dushawn that’s what time does to you, the magic just isn’t there anymore.
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
4:11 pm
Enter your comments hereMs.Atl~ Hasn’t it always been that way? People like to play fast and loose with the rules of evidence and discovery. I hate that too.
As usual, you and I are >>>>here<<<< on that work all day/come home and act like Hazel. Not only that, but you better be ready to act like Kim Kardashian to his Ray J (or Kanye) later on that night.
i'm swiss
October 3rd, 2012
4:12 pm
Afternoon, folks.
On topic: I gots nothing.
Off topic:
It’s taken 3 days for this new chick at work to figure out how to get through what amounts to 3 lines of code. And that’s with me explaining this sh!t 20 times and pointing her to a half-dozen existing examples. She is getting on my last d@mn nerve…
disco
October 3rd, 2012
4:16 pm
swiss – are you this chick’s assigned trainer/mentor or has she just latched on to you?
MsAtl
October 3rd, 2012
4:16 pm
Yes Common & it really burns my butt because you either have to file a motion to compel or just grin & bear it.
I admit that I do cook dinner most every night after work, but my house is not spotless; I clean mostly on the weekend now. Something had to give. As for acting like Kim K; not a problem sometimes, lol.
i'm swiss
October 3rd, 2012
4:23 pm
disco — She’s supposed to be my counterpart for a different client, so I’m sort of the un-official mentor. I’m really wondering how in the hell she got this job? I mean, I’ve done tons of technical training for this very same stuff over the years, and I’ve had non-technical people who picked up on this light years faster than this chick. And she was supposedly a Java developer???
That actually reminds me of this Indian guy I worked with years back. His wife had a job as a java developer, but she didn’t know sh!t. He (the husband) did all her work for her. So, she was basically just a warm body so that he could hold down 2 full time jobs simultaneously.
Come to think of it, this new chick is Indian… hmmm….
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
4:23 pm
I usually file the motion just to tick them off. Realistically, they aren’t going to give you anything they think they can get away without giving you anyway. It is what it is…
I don’t mind acting like Kim K some nights, but if I had an extremely long day (You know, the judge that hates you along with opposing counsel that you hate?) and I come home and cook dinner and do some laundry or clean up, you can forget that swinging from the ceiling fan stuff happening that night.
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
4:26 pm
swiss~
If you get rid of her, let me know. I have a friend who is actually great at the techie stuff who is looking for a job. She used to work for a company called Xcentric, but when she and the baby daddy split up she left the comapny because he worked there too and it was just too weird.
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
6:09 pm
She f_cking the boss Swiss,u know it!