Dating: It’s all about perception?
I have an ongoing argument with many of my guy friends about how they perceive women. Specifically, the way a man perceives a woman influences how they will approach her, the level of interest, and in some cases their intention.
My problem with this idea is that men can misread women a lot (I know women do this all the time too, though). So what happens is men size women up, determine her worth/value based on some kind of “system”. Then their effort/lack of effort is based on how they perceive the woman. Now my friends say that all men do this, even if they won’t admit it.
Women can’t ever know for sure how they are being perceived, so I don’t think this is something we should worry about. I just wonder if men are missing out on a lot of great opportunities because they have the wrong perception about a possible Ms. Right.
What do you think? Is it all about perception? If so, does this idea explain why so many of us meet fake people on the dating scene?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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142 comments Add your comment
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
1:09 pm
So we conclude that everybody have perceptions of others…it’s natural. But if you intend to get to know someone, you’re willing to move beyond initial thoughts and judgements.
Lady – to your 11:29, I’m not really one that “size” folks up at a glance but if there are any words exchange, I may walk away with thoughts or ideas or wondering. But, as long as a person comes off pretty decent, I don’t see the harm in going further, whether it a situation of just friendship or a situation for potentially more. On the flip side of things, I’ve started off with a really good impression only to find out the person is not as stellar as led to believe. But, again, as with all interactions, sometimes you missed the boat and sometimes you dodge a bullet.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
1:17 pm
My thoughts exactly C~ I am not with sizing folks up either….I have developed so many valuable friendships of perception along…..(virtually) and I don’t apologize for it. I am who I am consistently and never had to be validated or part of the most popular group to sustain~ ……I take folks for who they are even those bandwagoning hard……I still treat them as an individual but long handed somewhat but they are viewing me from a group and not for who I am truly am. hell we too grown for this perception mess but it is a concern for many even those who proclaim it doesn’t bother them. acceptance is normal. everyone won’t jive and mesh but no need to view with a close mind either…..be open~
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
1:22 pm
meant off perception alone I have developed many friendships~
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
1:23 pm
Lad – everyone won’t jive and mesh but no need to view with a close mind either…..be open~
Love this statement. True, so true. The only time I’m really standoffish is when folks come off with ulterior motives. Other than that, I’m cool giving anybody a shot…initially. I say that because I’m OFTEN perceived as too abrasive so I try to give folks a shot. I’m not as open in the “man” department…lol I think someone said it earlier, if you’re hood, a thug, a hoodlum, fouled mouth, etc., nuh uh. I might be off the mark in those scenarios but it’s okay. I don’t mind being wrong…lol Like I said, either you missed the boat (there will be another one) or you dodged a bullet.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
1:26 pm
yup that sums it up C~ the nutshell of today’s topic…..
so what else is poppin’?!? lol
I am ready for another weekend of football~
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:00 pm
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
9:29 am
Morning,
Misfires and misreads, prejudge, passing judgements, missed the mark…all of it happens among us all. IMO, we have in mind what we want. We do the reverse and project that on people we see. Your idea of what suits you may not come across in a person of potential interest so, you pass judgement on what you perceive based on what you desire in a man or woman. So, we take a pass because of what we desire is not what’s perceived. That’s your perception is your reality. We have all probably done it.
Disco will you pass me a Tylenol
Ijk C (rotflmao)
SlimUno
October 3rd, 2012
2:03 pm
Did I miss anything? (judging by the lack of pages today, i’d venture to say HEYAL NAW)
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:07 pm
Single – At least I didn’t write in Chinese…lololol
Man, the cake is gone. Usually there’s half a cake left. I’m telling you holiday desert lovers…Peppermint Bark. And it wasn’t too sweet or too rich
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
2:09 pm
Dayum that girl can cook! My little childhood sweetheart is going hard trying to spoil me.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:11 pm
C you mean you had your cake and ate it too (rotlmao)
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:13 pm
Shawn~ I thought you weren’t going to hang out with the childhood sweetie. Or was I mistaken? (Well, obviously I was mistaken if she’s cooking for you…) Did you introduce her to the wifey?
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:13 pm
just wow lol~
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:13 pm
Single – I asked for that didn’t I?? Yup…looked, licked and ate. Not the same as human cake though…
Oh, I’ll allow a touche for that too
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:14 pm
Dushawn?
She was cooking…she invited you St the crib,wife in tow?
Now if it was just u and uall sipped on some wine…after….
I got no further questions your worship!
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:14 pm
At
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:14 pm
The best news I’ve heard in a long time.
http://www.11alive.com/news/article/259369/40/Lingerie-Football-League-adding-Atlanta-team
kimmie
October 3rd, 2012
2:15 pm
Celisea – So the cake exceeded everyone’s perceptions! LOL!!
Lame, I know!
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:16 pm
I might be ready for some football (LOL)
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:16 pm
dead~
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:17 pm
Kimmie – LOL yep….Make sure y’all at least try a slice. Dang that thang was good. Peppermint Bark. The sent us a sample cake. This will be one of the holiday cakes.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:18 pm
uh oh, may have to get interested in basketball too (LOL)
http://www.11alive.com/News/Odd/259218/186/Atlanta-Fleet-Angels-set-for-Bikini-Basketball-League
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:18 pm
Lady – Don’t die yet….lolol The day ain’t over with.
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:19 pm
Its better to give than receive ~ such a true statement! #randomness
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:21 pm
Single Ladies?? Question
see this where heffas get a leg up on all the other chics who think they got it together…I never seen nor heard of a biatch,heffa that can’t cook well. Neva!
All men and husband snatchers have mustered this art…Cooking and cooking well….and they know all the whistles and bells of snatching somebody’s men.
And u(single chic) are painting ur nails,u think u got this and that looking fly and u think a man will be impressed.
Nope?
Cook some on the stove,put on some dirty clothes and let me see u clean the kitchen floor
Bake some in the oven and let me smell some aroma coming outa the kitchen.
That wins a men!
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:21 pm
I can’t C pure hilarity!
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:22 pm
Man
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:22 pm
S/H~ Only you could figure out how to set football’s chauvinistic views back 100 years… Lawd, we just got to the point where we WEREN’T objectifying women so much in sports and now this. SMDH…
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:23 pm
lol Ex~ #truethough
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:23 pm
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:21 pm
“Single Ladies?? Question
see this where heffas get a leg up on all the other chics who think they got it together…I never seen nor heard of a biatch,heffa that can’t cook well. Neva!
All men and husband snatchers have mustered this art…Cooking and cooking well….and they know all the whistles and bells of snatching somebody’s men.
And u(single chic) are painting ur nails,u think u got this and that looking fly and u think a man will be impressed.
Nope?
Cook some on the stove,put on some dirty clothes and let me see u clean the kitchen floor
Bake some in the oven and let me smell some aroma coming outa the kitchen.
That wins a men!”
Perception (LMAO)
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:23 pm
Single – You dropped info on that league here, a couple of months ago. So you follow them? You’re a groupie??
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:23 pm
Ex~ I will be happy to do all of that, right after he pays all the bills and I stay at home all day. If we want to go back to old fashioned roles, let’s go ALL the way back…
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:24 pm
CC I didn’t start it, I just said now maybe I will enjoy it (LOL)
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
2:24 pm
Obviously we need a new topic. Today was the fifth lunch. I also stopped by her spot one Friday night and we killed a bottle of wine. We flirt a little bit, but that’s been the extent of it.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 3rd, 2012
2:25 pm
C it was information about what it was, this story is about the teams coming to Atl. I’m not a groupie yet, but I might become one (LOL)
Comon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:29 pm
Shawn~ So, you didn’t answer my question. Have you introduced/told the wifey to/about her yet?
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:30 pm
Well, I’m getting out of here a bit early today, gonna play a little
nookiehookie…. JUST KIDDING!!!!! I am leaving early thoughComon Cents
October 3rd, 2012
2:32 pm
C~ So what did you decide about asking you friend to the company weekender?
SlimUno
October 3rd, 2012
2:33 pm
I left work early yesterday and I took Friday off…just need some ME time. Ya feeeel me?
Lady~favor ain't fair! :-)
October 3rd, 2012
2:33 pm
Bye C~
peace mia~
DuShawn
October 3rd, 2012
2:34 pm
-Comon Cents- No, I have not told anyone….well except the world wide web.
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:35 pm
Old fashioned?
Taking care of ur man in that manner, is not ‘old fashioned’
It’s just being feminine
If I just want another body in the house I could just get a room mate…
Then go out every now and then to get my lay on.
U get it Common?
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:36 pm
Comon – I didn’t ask because I didn’t feel a good opening. Honestly, we have been friends months longer than I’ve revealed.
Exiled!
October 3rd, 2012
2:37 pm
Now Common,granted ur hubby cooks for a living but still
If he set the tone early on in ur relationship and he let u slip on that part….
His fault!
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:38 pm
Later Lady
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:40 pm
Shoot, Monday is a holiday, I’ll be chilling in NC Tuesday and Wed…lol I won’t be back to “working” for real until Thursday
SlimUno
October 3rd, 2012
2:43 pm
Cel – I laughed when someone asked if we were closed for the holiday. I was like Yeaaaaah right. We’re lucky we get Thanksgiving and Christmas. The beau will be at home in Miami all week long, lucky him.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 3rd, 2012
2:45 pm
I come back and Single had to put the lingerie league out here. Now I’m gone have to buy season tickets.
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:46 pm
Slim – That’s funny cause I asked my sister what she was doing Monday and she looked at me as if I’d grown two heads…lol That’s the good thing about being here. The bad thing though is for major holidays, WE ARE CLOSED JUST ONE DAY, whereas many places are closed say Christmas Eve, the day after Thanksgiving and NYE.. I’m all salty then…lol I think though we get 10 or 11 holidays
Celisea
October 3rd, 2012
2:47 pm
Slim – You should have tucked away in his luggage
Willie Dynamite
October 3rd, 2012
2:50 pm
Afternoon all,
Topic- perception hunh? I imagine once you reach adulthood you learn to balance your own perception vs reality and deal with it.
What else you folks got going on?