Dating: Process of elimination?
My friend JB has a common dating dilemma that happens to the best of us: He has two really great prospects but is having a difficult time deciding which one he should eliminate and which one should get all of his attention.
Things have been pretty casual and laid back, but he knows this won’t last forever. At some point, he has to decide who is more suitable for him.
What do you do if you have two romantic interest and both seem worth the effort? Do you decide based on who you are most physically attracted to? Who you are most compatible with in terms of background, upbringing, values, etc.?
Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to figure out who to pursue and who to let go? How did you decide?
Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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292 comments Add your comment
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
10:45 am
Plus, I’ve already committed to hanging out after hours with a couple of friends. Sooooo, do I want to take this person along with my other friends?
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 1st, 2012
10:45 am
C do you know what they like to do? and if it’s available?
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 1st, 2012
10:48 am
Off topic, how do you make moist cornbread?
disco
October 1st, 2012
10:48 am
C – the more you type the more it sounds like you really don’t want to take this person along. it almost sounds like you want them to go but to take them might be a slight inconvenience or might disrupt the flow just a bit. that’s just me on the outside looking in though.
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
10:49 am
I have a pretty good idea. That’s not so much the issue though honestly. It’s just do I want to, you know? If I invite, I need to do it today because I need to allow for them to make adjustments to their schedule. If I don’t ask today, I’m not asking.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 1st, 2012
10:50 am
C is it what disco said, but you feel like you at least need to ask, hoping they will say no?
SlimUno
October 1st, 2012
10:50 am
I really didn’t have anything to throw out there but more so an update. My sister and niece came up to visit so my sister could get away for a few days. I believe I told yall that her new hubby is actually still married in LA so she’s about to get theirs annuled. Anyway, she looked so frail to me due to loss of weight from being stressed. I ended up having to take her to the ER Friday night because she was doubled over in pain, could barely walk etc. So come to find out that she was severely dehydrated due to lack of really eating during this whole ordeal. Apparently, she had been keeping all this stuff to herself as far as how crazy this dude is. Every human with a wang was someone she was trying to sleep with (according to him), even the 65 yr old door greeter at Walmart.
I was glad to see her finally getting an appetite later on Saturday and able to sleep. We didn’t get home from the ER until 5 that morning so she got some good zzzz’s in there. It was nice to spend time with my niece too
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
10:52 am
disco – I want the person to go and have that quick overnight getaway as I think the time together would be nice. But not sure if the timing is just right yet. Yeah, what you said about disrupting the flow…I’m just now seeing that post.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 1st, 2012
10:52 am
Slim your sister is crying out for help, she’s not saying the words, but she’s asking.
Single and Happier "Life Happens!"
October 1st, 2012
10:54 am
C wait until you feel the timing is right, somethings don’t need to be rushed. (for the lack of a better term)
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
10:56 am
Single – LOL…not at all…that was funny. I don’t do that kind of stuff mayne…lol If I hope you say no, I’m not asking. I don’t mean any harm but that’s sort of juvenile. I don’t feel “pressured” like that. No, this person is cool as ever. Just not sure if timing is right on…along with keeping entertained and that kind of stuff. No, he’s cool as ever.
disco
October 1st, 2012
10:56 am
well C – like in spades if you think long, you think wrong. let this be a work trip like it is. you all can plan a getaway later.
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
10:57 am
Single – If I don’t, there will be plenty of time for getting away. Plus it’s business. I think if it was an opportunity to say get to the mountains or a long weekend getaway, that kind of stuff, no work, just able to sit back and enjoy the time,then I would have no problem asking.
Comon Cents
October 1st, 2012
10:59 am
I cosign with disco’s 10:56.
disco~ Yes, we really walked around calling them by number. He would come in and say “I went out with so and so to the movies last night.” and we would all be like “What number is she?”
disco
October 1st, 2012
10:59 am
slim – did you or your momma or somebody throw down this weekend? I’m not even a fan of the kitchen but I would have been in their snapping peas and shucking corn for my sister. anything she thought she wanted to eat was going to be right there for the grabbing.
Comon Cents
October 1st, 2012
11:00 am
Off Topic~ If anyone has been sick with te funk that has been going around, I highly recommend the Halls Warm-Ups (Apple Cider flavor).
Comon Cents
October 1st, 2012
11:01 am
Slim~ Your sister is extremely lucky to have a family that is so supportive during this terrible time. While I don’t do family law, there are several attorneys here that do and I am always amazed at how unsupportive some families can be when someone is in a situation like this.
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:02 am
disco – Yep, that’s what I just said. I was sort of in deep thought this weekend if that was a good move or not. Okay, ‘preciate being about to bounce off y’all this morning.
Slim – Glad to see your sister is on the slow path to recovery. Hope she ocntinues uphill on this one and keep the little one close and protected
I didn’t tell y’all my great nephew (y’all know he’s my weakness…lol) wanted me to sit outside Thursday while he road his bike…lol He’s sooo cute with his deep voice. He was at my mom’s because my sister was babysitting him and his brother. He said “Aunt Celisea come sit outside with me” (talking through the burglar door). When I said, I don’t wanna, he said “pleeeeease”…lol I took it further to say “noooo, you didn’t want to speak to me the other day” and he said “okaaaay, HEEEEY”
He talks and stares at me more than the other brother so I mention him more often. I always wonder what he’s thinking…cause he’s ALWAYS looking at me…lol
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:04 am
rode not road…my baaaad
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:08 am
Sometimes I’ll ask him “why are you staring at me” and he’ll just smile…lol
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:10 am
Single – Lady is one that cooks and Kimmie. You might have to check with them on the “moist cornbread” question. I can do cornbread on top of the stove but not so much in the oven
kimmie
October 1st, 2012
11:14 am
Morning Gang!
I am so glad its a rainy day, so no soccer practice later. Yay!!!
On topic – Like Disco said, kind of a nice problem to have. The few times it happened to me, though, it didn’t take long for one guy to stand head & shoulders above the other. You can’t hide true character but for so long.
Celisea – I am glad you were listening to Bert this morning. I tried to hand out in the car to listen but I had to go on in and I never listen to the shows at my computer once I get in and get hit with work. They were busy talking to Kristin, who I can’t stand, about her wanting to be a bride but not a wife. Why was it even a topic? At least she was honest about it.
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:17 am
Kimmie – I was headed down to get coffee on that part. She’s special. I don’t like her too much either. Before Bert signed off, he said they’re going to try and do the closure call tomorrow. He didn’t say whether or not buddy agreed to come back on or if in fact they were able to contact him, but tomorrow try and listen in.
I have FM radio on my phone, so when it’s something I want to listen to I’ll plug my earphone in. Listening to live radio has been blocked here…lol
Albert
October 1st, 2012
11:18 am
Yes, and I ultimately didn’t get either one.
kimmie
October 1st, 2012
11:19 am
Single – My mom used to make the absolute best cornbread. I watched her and while I don’t completely have her technique down , I do remember some things. The hubs & kids love Jiffy, which I could do without, but I doctor it up so it passes my touch standards! I use buttermilk sometimes instead of regular milk, add butter flavoring to it, and add a little oil or melted butter to the batter. Make sure you oil the pan really well so it will be easy to get out. It should come out nice and moist.
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:20 am
I use to come in and read the responses to the Strawberry letter and would be ca-racking up at all the insults posted but that’s been blocked as well. I guess being such a big company and folks plugged in all day to various sites caused them to block mostly anything “social” or any sites where there’s too much accessing during the work day. Yahoo mail was the first to go, then FB and then the live radio shows. All I can access is LinkedIn. Even to that, I can no longer answer incoming mail…THAT’S BLOCKED TOO. I can access my profile or send a request to connect but that’s it…lol
kimmie
October 1st, 2012
11:20 am
Tough, not touch!!
Comon Cents
October 1st, 2012
11:23 am
Single~ On the moist conrbread question, 2 cups of cornmeal, 1 egg, 1/4 cup of corn oil, 2/3 cup of milk (you can add sugar if you like yours sweet, but IDK how much because I don’t do sweet cornbread), 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder. Blend well and pour into a greased cast iron skillet. Cook it in the oven for 20-25 minutes at 375. When it comes out, butter the top and “viola!” moist cornbread!
disco
October 1st, 2012
11:26 am
re the cornbread. I was thinking “moist” cornbread? I didn’t know if he meant moist in general (like it’s supposed to be in my opinion) or if he meant moist as in something new I wasn’t hip to yet. then I got to thinking that I have had some dry, crumbly cornbread before. usually it’s the little flat, bare bones, didn’t have all the ingredients but I did have corn meal, milk and eggs cornbread. lol. speaking of cornbread, this past weekend I was thinking of chili. the temps are starting to drop so it’s just about that time.
Comon Cents
October 1st, 2012
11:26 am
kimmie~ I’m with you on the Jiffy thing. Just “Blech!”. Even doctored it doesn’t work for me. Too sweet!
Comon Cents
October 1st, 2012
11:27 am
disco~ I thought of chili last week, but then I got sick so I ended up making chicken and dumplings to knock my cold out. But I might make chili this week…
LeeH1
October 1st, 2012
11:28 am
“Kissin’ don’t last; cookin’ do.” – traditional Amish saying about courtship.
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:29 am
I don’t do Jiffy…that’s a step shy of eating cake…lol There was a lady at church (I mentioned here before I think), that was old and retired but would sell dinners at her home after church. Cars would be lined up outside of her house. I’m talking a gang of food for five bucks. Of course that was in the eightys so that’s about the right price. Anyhoo, she could cook absolutely anything….except cornbread and cake. She would always put a slice of both on every plate. Cornbread and coconut cake. The only difference seemed to be the icing on one piece versus not. Otherwise they both taste the same!!!
kimmie
October 1st, 2012
11:31 am
Cel – FB is blocked, and certain websites like Vicky’s Secret!LOL!
Kristin was okay when she was saying she loves parties and party -planning and thinks the idea of a day just about you, like a bride, is fun. She said she just didn’t see her ready to take on the role of wife. Okay, like I said, at least she’s being honest. She also said her parents divorced and everyone she knew was divorce, etc, so she was scared. Fine. Then she starts on the “we don’t need a piece of paper” stuff, which I have very little patience with. You don’t need it until you “need” it. She & dude have been shacking for 6 years & sounds like she’s the major breadwinner. So call it what it is – she knows she’s taking care of dude & marriage might not be much of a benefit for her. But miss me with the “we don’t need a piece of paper to declare our love” mess!
Jake-Colt 45 "It Works Every Time"
October 1st, 2012
11:35 am
What up wit yall, the man had that foot square on me neck last week…..
S/H-on the CBread, Cornmeal/Milk+equal parts, 2eggs beaten to each cup of Cornmeal, mix might seem a little runny, but will bake up just right…throw a half cup of sugar in for sweeter taste, 2 teaspoons of oil in the mix
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:35 am
Kimmie – There are those that believe you can live eternally set up like that. And I still say what I said about shacking versus your place or mine, but in reality the paper makes a world of difference. I can’t see a man saying he loves me and would do anything for me…except marry me?? I don’t get that. I’m not sure she was being honest though. I caught the part where she said she wouldn’t mind a wedding day but then I turned it off after that. I, for one, don’t want to be laid up…just laid up…like forever.
I can get to Vickys…lol
Where is Lady this morning???
kimmie
October 1st, 2012
11:36 am
Cel/Comon – They slurp that Jiffy down like it’s going to run away!! Little man eats the leftovers for breakfast with his juice! I make is just for them!
Martha White actually has a pretty decent mix that is not sweet like Jiffy, and when I doctor it, it comes closer to my mom’s. Nothing will ever touch her’s and that buttery goodness it had!
disco
October 1st, 2012
11:37 am
I remember hearing my mother and one of her sisters dogging somebody out way back in the day because that person used jiffy cornbread to make dressing with. and my mother’s baby sister still gets clowned for putting too much sage in the dressing the first time she tried to make it and it came out tinted a little bit green. that might have happened 30+ years ago and folks still talk about her.
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:37 am
Is it just me or does Vicky’s bras not have good support?? I have never liked their bras. Too, I don’t like contured cups.
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:38 am
Kimmie – My sister was the Jiffy queen. I cannot do sweet cornbread. Too, I like to eat cornbread with jelly or syrup so it can’t start off sweet. The only time I don’t is if I’m eating with greens. Then I eat as is.
Comon Cents
October 1st, 2012
11:39 am
kimmie~ I completely get you on the mom’s cornbread thing. My recipe was my grandma’s, but I swear when she gave it to me, she left something out because mine NEVER comes out at good as hers.
C~ I feel you on the “I’ll do anyting for you but marry you” thing. I can’t do that mess either. Just sloppy, IMO.
Robert
October 1st, 2012
11:40 am
“What do you do if you have two romantic interest and both seem worth the effort?”
As my Big Sister would say – “This is a good problem to have. Keep them both.” She believes in planning for the future. Her favorite saying is “you always need a good spare tire to keep you rolling.”
I love my Big Sister. She tells it like it is.
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:40 am
Comon – That’s says to me, I’ll do almost anything for you.
disco
October 1st, 2012
11:41 am
C – that’s a new one. corn bread with jelly or syrup? never heard of that.
Comon Cents
October 1st, 2012
11:43 am
disco~ On the cooking horror story, when I got married the first time, I got married right before Thanksgiving. When we got back, everyone was gone for the holidays, so I decided I was going to be a good wife and make us Thanksgiving dinner. Called my dad and asked him how to cook the turkey. He never mentioned to me that there was a giblet bag inside the turkey. So, I stuffed the turkey, giblet bag and all. Turkey cooked for about 3 hours. House smelling good. I think “I got this!” Yeah, right as the turkey exploded… I swear I cleaned turkey out of the oven for MONTHS!
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:43 am
disco – Really? Honey we grew up with that. Slice that bad boy open, put in a pat of butter and pour in jelly or syrup and VWALLA…you have your snack. That went right along the lines of mayonnaise sandwiches…lol I didn’t eat them but my sister did…ugh We would do that over the summer mostly. My sister know she was a cornbread eating sister. She kept syrup for that and pancakes…lolololol
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:44 am
not “pour jelly” but you get it
kimmie
October 1st, 2012
11:44 am
Cel – Bert was saying himself that piece of paper makes a huge difference. If you want to shack forever, for whatever reason, cool, do you. But bottom line, there are just some things that have to be wrapped up nice and legal-like if you want the desired outcome down the line. I just don’t believe in getting tied up financially with someone that’s not a legal relation. That’s the practical side to me. I protect the heart by requiring a ring and date set before moving in together. Until then I carried my behind on home!
Comon Cents
October 1st, 2012
11:47 am
C~ I did the honey and jelly as a kid, but I can’t do it now. It’s just too sweet to me. But I mostly have cornbread with beans or greens so I guess that nips the sweet thing in the bud anyway. The hubs does this thing where he puts the cornbread in a bowl and eats it with milk. I still can’t watch him do that. Blech!
Celisea
October 1st, 2012
11:47 am
Kimmie – I agree with all of that, the legal ramifications and all. And more importantly, why build a life together that’s never defined or established?? I don’t get that either.