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Archive for October, 2012

Do men get bored easily?

My friend Paul used to warn me about keeping things spicy in my relationship: “You don’t want to ever let things get stagnant. Men get bored easily.” That’s great advice, now who is telling my man the same thing, because women get bored too, right?

There is some work involved in keeping your man’s attention. It is easy to get too comfortable and complacent. That’s when things start getting less sexy. However, should women really worry about men getting bored too easily? Why is it always on the woman to keep things hot?

Men, do you agree that some men get bored easily? What happens when he does get bored? Does that lead to wandering eye and seeking attention from other people?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Grow up!

My friend Allen is dating a young lady who he really likes a lot. He believes she could be the one…in a couple of years. Allen says his girlfriend has a little growing up to do. Her lack of maturity is shown when she doesn’t get her way, or handles things with little patience.

As he talked, I thought about how he was the same guy friend that advised me not to date a guy for “potential” but accept him as he is. Now, here we were having the same exact discussion ..and switched places. I asked him what he asked me, “What if she never changes? Could you still be with her?”

Although they are only three years apart in age, when you see Allen with his girlfriend, you can’t help but notice the stark difference in their maturity levels. Ah, but love is blind, right? He does not see what I see, just as I had to learn my lesson for myself.

Would you be willing to wait till someone “grew up” and behaved less like an adolescent? Is that one of those things that should be a dating …

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First date? Don’t expect to get lucky

A friend told me she was really offended that a guy moved in for a hook up on their first date. She does not understand how he read any signs that she was willing to have sex on the first date. She asked me, “Is this something that men just expect after one date, now?”

Well, I would not say most men expect a first date hook up. They probably would not turn it down, but I would be surprised if guys want to “get lucky” like that. When most people go on a first date, they usually just expect to have a good time. Now, what does a good time mean to you?

Would you be opposed to getting physical on the first date? Is it something that is even on your mind when you first meet someone you are attracted to?

Guys, have you ever decided to “go there” and make a move on the first date? Would it be something you would attempt if you wanted a relationship with someone?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading First date? Don’t expect to get lucky »

Why do nice girls get dumped?

I received an email from one of our readers that asked, “Why do nice girls get dumped for women that torture men?” – a loaded question for sure. “Brenda” is actually considering becoming less of a nice girl to get a little more action. Bad idea or worth a try?

My concern is that pretending to be something you are not is a recipe for disaster. You can only keep the false personality going for so long, right? Why does it seem that nice girls (like nice guys!) get looked over or put on the back burner?

Would you ever project a more “edgy” image in order to get the attention of someone who was into the bad girl/bad boy type?

Guys, when will a man tend to steer clear of the wild girls and be more open to the nice girls? Are women expected to wait till you get that out of your system?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Why do nice girls get dumped? »

Relationships: Sharing is caring!

My friend Seth has a photography business. Every time he meets someone new, he invites them to accompany him on one of his gigs. He feels that whomever he is with has to enjoy photography as much as he does. He even wants his woman to help him build his business and take it to the next level.

I am always bothered by this being an absolute deal breaker. I tell him all the time that his Ms. Right may not have any interest at all in photography. Does that really mean you can’t be happy with her? I do agree that it is important to share common interests. I also believe that when you care about someone, you should be willing to share their passion. At the very least, you should support it. The question is – would you be willing to reciprocate?

My friend Seth never considered that the woman he meets may have her own business, dreams, or aspirations that he could support. I don’t know if all men are like this, but I seem to meet a lot of men that think that way. They have …

Continue reading Relationships: Sharing is caring! »

Why no second date?

Have you ever had a really great introduction or first date with someone and felt a strong connection? You can literally sense the attraction and feel the chemistry spark. If you had to place a bet, the odds of hearing from them again were in your favor! Then nothing happens…ever.

It is SO frustrating but it actually happens a lot. People flirt, mix and mingle all the time. You won’t always have what you feel reciprocated, and you can’t take that personally.

Think about the last time you met someone and immediately realized they were not a good match for you. What was it that made you think that they were better suited for somebody else?

When was the last time you met someone or had a first date – but decided not to pursue it?

I heard a guy say that he refused to ask for a second date because the woman’s car was a mess inside and out. That made me wonder if our reasons are always valid? How can know for sure that you aren’t being too critical, picky, or judgmental?

Do …

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Dating: I’m so embarrassed!

If someone could find a way to purchase a dating do over, I know a lot of people who would want it. We try to bring our A game, especially on first dates. Sometimes anxiety kicks in and we leave a less then stellar impression.

One of our readers went out with a guy from church this weekend. While they were waiting for valet, her ex-boyfriend approached her and basically embarrassed her. He made a comment about her temper and alluded to her history of property destruction.

In her defense *ahem*, this was a guy she dated in college. She told her date she is not the same girl and tried to downplay it, but she was pretty embarrassed. Should she try to explain the full story to her date or drop it and let it go? Maybe he can see for himself that she is a mature woman now?

Have you ever been embarrassed on a date? How did you handle it?

What would you do if you ran into one of your exes while you were out with someone else? Speaking of, Atlanta is WAY too small sometimes, …

Continue reading Dating: I’m so embarrassed! »

Are you dating a commitment phobe?

No one wants to waste their time in dating. If you want to date someone who actually wants a relationship, then you have to pay attention to certain things. Some people are commitment phobes and unfortunately they don’t walk around with a sign on their forehead, identifying them as such.

To be fair, though, many people don’t even realize they are actively avoiding commitment. It’s buried deep in other behaviors such as being unreasonably picky, sabotaging things that feel too real/good, or those disappearing acts that are oh so sexy.

Some people are happier not being in a committed relationship. That is perfectly fine, of course, but you have to be honest about it. Do you believe people are spending time dating you simply to be in your presence? They could be!

Just be clear that you don’t want anything serious – and don’t say “right now” because that is emotional terrorism. Nothing is worse than thinking someone is going to change their mind and holding on to false hope …

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When men don’t pay..

One of our readers had a second date with a guy she thought was really nice. At the end of the date, he asked her for her portion of the bill. She was bothered by this and is not quite sure what to make of it. What does it mean when a man does not pay for a date?

Their outing was her idea because she was gifted free tickets to an event through work. Getting dinner before the event was his idea, though. So, she feels that he should have paid for her for two reasons: He is the guy and is pursuing her. The date activity was no cost to him because of her work connection.

Fellas, if you don’t pay for a woman, is that a reflection on what you think of her, or how you feel about her?

Ladies, why do we freak out when men don’t spend money on us? What do we think or feel, when a guy spends his money generously – to impress/woo us?

Happy Friday everyone!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Are we a couple or not?

Perhaps one of the trickiest phase of a new dating relationship is the period right before you consider the other person your “only.” You are not quite at “the talk” phase, yet you are sure you are headed in the right direction.

I think it only gets complicated when one person is thinking “casual” and seeing where things go; while the other person has basically decided that things are already official. When does a relationship actually start, though? It always seems to differ for men, and ladies try to take cues from a guy’s actions, not his words.

When you are engaging in intimate acts, staying at each others home, and spending all your leisure time doing couple things – all these can mean different things to different people.

Do you need to have the official talk and girlfriend/boyfriend label before you recognize that a relationship has started?

Do you think it is something that should be clearly defined or do you prefer to take it as it comes, so to speak?

By Wise …

Continue reading Dating: Are we a couple or not? »