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Dating: I can dress myself!

My beau has this thing about giving me fashion/style suggestions. The first time he did this, we were getting ready to go to one of his co-workers parties. I got the sense that he wanted to make sure I was “on point” and represented him well.

I am not going to lie, this did not go over well with me. I’ve been dressing myself for years and no man has ever given his opinion about what I wore, how I wore, or why. Yet, here I was having an actual discussion about my dress and shoe selection with the guy I am dating. How did I get here!? I mean, the fact that we are dating shows he already liked my style, doesn’t it? I was actually offended.

After I had a talk with beau and determined he wasn’t trying to be a controlling jerk, we got to a mutual understanding: I won’t throw my fabulous shoe at his head for making fashion suggestions. He won’t try to treat me like some trophy girl that he dresses to his personal liking. It’s all about compromise, people!

My friend was teasing me that we were Kanye and Kim Kardashian. Apparently, Kanye wanted to give Kim a makeover and was making fashion choices for her. That’s just great, now some men will think this is perfectly acceptable behavior.

Would it bother you if the person you were dating had strong opinions about what you wore? Do we have a right to dress our dates like their our little ken and barbie dolls?

Is this supposed to be the new foreplay? Instead of men plotting to get us out of our clothes, they try to get us in clothes? Does that turn men on? Enlighten me, please.

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

253 comments Add your comment

disco

September 28th, 2012
12:25 pm

color purple chorus – “robert’s trying to tell me something, maybe robert’s trying to tell me something right now”. lol.

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
12:25 pm

Okay….I’m back

Lady – Girl, I’ve been in and out and really all I know is what’s posted ahead and right after me…lol

Robert – I get alllll of that.Wanting to have peace and solitude, a night out a with a sexy woman. But again, I ask dontcha get tired of revolving bed buddies….at the rip age or 40 plus? I mean, I understand a young cat but not an old one. I’m definitely with you on wanting peace and a good time…and that’s all NO DRAMA!!

cba – What’s up with you? You’re reading rather frisky different these days.

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
12:28 pm

Too, you ain’t qualified to call a woman a cougar if both of y’all reaching the “getting dusty” age. IJS

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
12:41 pm

I am eating a turkey, roast beef, and ham sammich with swiss cheese, kettle chips and a ginger ale! #lol random

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
12:42 pm

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
12:44 pm

how do you get a bitter person that holds resentment to humble their heart when that are in the wrong?!? pointers needed bc I am confused…..the one who is in the wrong thinks the world owes him (no one in particular) just observing folks I know…..human behavior is amazing~ that was my favorite class too!

Comon Cents

September 28th, 2012
12:44 pm

Good afternoon, bloggies!

I am home sick today, but couldn’t resist checking in for a minute while I’m awake. Y’all just all over the place apparently!

On topic~ if I am going somewhere with the hubs and it’s his friends, I have no problem with him picking something he would like to see me in. If I am going out with my friends or to work, I’ll pick my own clothes, thanks.

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
12:45 pm

meant they are in the wrong~

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
12:45 pm

Lady – I grabbed wings from a new spot last night in Smyrna…deeeelish I must say. I got bleu buffalo (or something like that) flavored. It was buffalo sauce with bleu cheese mixed in. Not bad, not bad at all. Then too, they weren’t buzzard/pterodactyl sized. I hate big chicken…ugh

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
12:47 pm

Lady, I’m always baffled. If I’m wrong, I’ll admit it. My motto is own what’s yours. But if it’s mind games and playing and undermining, then as long as I know I’m in the right, maybe not exactly spot on but I’m not wrong? Nah, you own it.

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
12:48 pm

lawd I never read the topic~ lol CC~ I like it when my boo gives his two cents here and there…..nothing major though……….

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
12:49 pm

yeah I feel ya C~

just interesting……….

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
12:50 pm

lol C~ I don’t apologize for loving chicken wings! enjoy sis!

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
12:52 pm

I think Diva might have been just a tad oversensitive on this issue :)

Comon Cents

September 28th, 2012
12:53 pm

C- I agree. Diva might have overreacted to that.

Lady- lol @ not reading the topic.

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
12:53 pm

something C~ lol

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
12:55 pm

I didn’t realize she had a beau. Go on then Diva, witcho bad self!!!

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (Isn't it amazing when someone you've never meet knows you better than you know yourself)

September 28th, 2012
12:59 pm

Disco @ your 11:58, I was only speaking for me, I’ve never been married, and now even thinking about, weighing all that into it.

But I like a woman, who doesn’t have to have a man to go out with, travel with or just be with. If one is available she can roll with that, or if not she can roll alone.

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
1:00 pm

back to my end of the week reports~ #smirk

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (Isn't it amazing when someone you've never meet knows you better than you know yourself)

September 28th, 2012
1:03 pm

disco I meant speaking for the single never married people I know.

cba

September 28th, 2012
1:03 pm

Celisea~it must be the approaching full moon…… ;-)

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
1:11 pm

Well, folks (women at that…lol) were on here howling yesterday. You won’t be alone. :)

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
1:13 pm

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
1:17 pm

Shoooot, I ain’t tryna get out of the way either (not talking about cba). I can’t blame them for howling if it’s like that!!!

kimmie

September 28th, 2012
1:44 pm

I decided to spend my lunch money on some things other than lunch. So I’m eating Yakisoba noodles from my desk stash, and some applesauce for dessert. I’m just SO excited about this lunch!!LOL!!

Diva eluded to having a beau awhile back. Yall just have not been paying attention. And sitting from where we are all sitting, outside looking in with limited info, it may appear she’s being sensitive. But she is the one involved in the situation so only she knows. Like I said when I first began today, I’ve been there. Dealing with a dude beyotching about your clothes and trying to be controlling in general is a motha!

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (Isn't it amazing when someone you've never meet knows you better than you know yourself)

September 28th, 2012
1:46 pm

Kimmie, doesn’t it always start with the little stuff and grow from there. (lets see how far I can take this)

kimmie

September 28th, 2012
1:48 pm

Single – You got it!!! Sometime you gotta nip that little stuff in the bud from jump. Set the tone and let them know you are not the one!

Lady~must be nice!

September 28th, 2012
1:51 pm

my work is done and I am ready to play! God is God! Happy Friday folks and have a wonderful weekend~ ;) Peace~

Exiled!

September 28th, 2012
2:02 pm

Well since u talking eats..last nite(I’m in Schamburg IL) went home round 6:30pm I had no left over cooked food in the fridge..and didn’t feel like cooking…

So I said,well let me check out the local restaurants. Besides,I’m a cheapstake(??) I cook own food,Queen does when I’m home and we go out occasionally.

So I decide to go splurge at the local Texas de Brazil.at nearby Mall(1 mile away).nice environment,good blue blood mostly crowd,nice women( :lol: ) and I’m alone at my table..

Problem..I had a meeting at 9:00 pm……so I literally sped away,eating my food…food was off da chain folks….and I was thinking to myself as I ate..,,forget what MIA blog women say..u bring a new date here,to enjoy this setting,this nice food with this blue blood crowd…she will be impressed to give it Up that nite,afraid u might fly away if she don’t do it. She gon have a whole lotta pressure on her conscience! :lol:

Dang I didn’t have time to really sit back and enjoy my food. It left me with a lit sour in my mouf for that.. and o wish I had done that in a Friday eve. I was in there 45-50 minutes Mac before I headed back home for a three hour call with folks in India and china.

Tab? Fity

Exiled!

September 28th, 2012
2:02 pm

Fity$ no tip

With tip Six

SlimUno

September 28th, 2012
2:07 pm

I feel a bad headache coming on…wiggedy! On top of that, I have a taste for something different but have no clue where to go. ???

Exiled!

September 28th, 2012
2:08 pm

Well here is what I said to the restaurant manager as I was hurriedly gettibg ng up and him asking’ hope u enjoyed ur food sir’ I said,’ yea food was nice damn I have to go,but next time Im gon be here on a Friday,have more time to sample this good food and with a woman in my arm definitely!’

His reply,’ thereby go’ :lol:

I told Queen about all this by the way!(what were u thinking now) :lol:

kimmie

September 28th, 2012
2:09 pm

Exiled – And I bet if you had all the time in the world, the food would have been nasty!LOL! That’s the way stuff works out sometimes. Life!

Willie Dynamite

September 28th, 2012
2:12 pm

Ex- tell the truth you didn’t tell Queen ALL. I’m sure you left out the wolf parts.

Exiled!

September 28th, 2012
2:14 pm

WD u caught me there player!

:lol:

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
2:14 pm

Hilarty and three Hail Marys…lolol

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
2:16 pm

Exiled!

September 28th, 2012
2:20 pm

Kimmie..only one Brazil themed place I have been has been sub par..some imitation in Alpharetta..

Most others I really good and am familiar with them

My meat luving kids luuuv brazil meat and ample choices

kimmie

September 28th, 2012
2:24 pm

Exiled – Hubs took me to one in Marietta for my birthday one year that is the bomb. We went back earlier part of this summer and it was still good. I’ve seen the one you talk about in Alpharetta and have been curious about it. No need to try it now if you say it’s not good. Come to think of it, I don’t see alot of cars around it.

For Real

September 28th, 2012
2:25 pm

What up Blog Fam!

Wacka Flocka is coming! Wacka Flocka is coming!

For Real now slapping the ish out of Wise sensitive azz. I bet ole boy at house right now trying figure out when did he agree to putting up chartreuse curtains and why he knows what chartreuse means.

“I feel a bad headache coming on” – Zippppppppppp take these two and wake me up in 30 mins

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
2:29 pm

Did anyone hear the Bert Show this morning? The chick that was with her dude 9 years and got a call not to make plans (think she said 2 weeks ago) cause he was coming over…they needed to talk. She said she just knew he was coming over to propose. Well buddy dropped one on her. After 9 years, he was moving on. She said all he said was “it is what it is”….wowzer. Said she carried buddy while he was unemployed and jobless. Said he’d already had a place lined up.

For Real

September 28th, 2012
2:32 pm

Dayum! He could at least pattied her on back and say “Alright den” before he left.

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
2:33 pm

They’re going to try and get him on Monday for the “closure” call to see if he’ll tell the “real” reason he’s up and left. That should be real intersting.

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
2:35 pm

For Real – Nope..nothing, according to her. Just said “it is what it is”…now that’s cold. Especially after nine years.

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
2:37 pm

There (radio hosts) were even telling her to get out and put on clean close…cause they just knew she’d been laying around crying with the same thing on. She said she called her job. She called her job?!?! She took a week of vacation cause I guess she’s just immobilized right about now. That’s sux

SlimUno

September 28th, 2012
2:38 pm

After 9 years all she gets is an “It is what it is?????” Are you freaking kidding me…that’s so disrespectful

Exiled!

September 28th, 2012
2:38 pm

Kimmie..some Queen friend that lives up there invited us to celebrate her kid birfday there cple of years back..2/3 maybe.. I anticipated kinda the same thing with what I’ve experienced at Fogo for example.

Not even close unless they have upgraded.

Off topic: I just hope Potus don’t stumble coz this think is trending like a lock!

At the debates,he just needs to dance like Ali and sting the Mormon like a bee(he ain’t been to the ghetto so he don’t react well to a punch) and the Potus needs to be lucid and invoke jokes here and there to add to validate his likeability in front of america.

I’m gon tell my nephews cousins aunties uncles my mama and dada to surely pray for Potus to punch the Mormon to the election ring canvas! :lol:

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
2:40 pm

After nine years, Idda had him holed up saying “naw dude, you gonna tell me more than that. at least that you find another”…lol Not making light of her but “it is what it is??” Nuh uh.

Slim – I’m not all ultra sensitive but I was thinking the same thing. That was disrespectful beyond disrespectful. Unless we ain’t getting the full story. I hope I’m in the car to listen Monday if he agrees to come on and give his reasons.

They’ve apparently been living on different pages cause she just knew she was getting a proposal.

kimmie

September 28th, 2012
2:40 pm

Celisea – I was just talking to some folks about the Bert Show and that segment. Did you hear the chick that called in after she hung up and said she had 2 friends that had the same thing happen to them?

I felt so bad for the lady though. There were probably signs, but her being with dude for 9 years & thinking everything was cool, she just didn’t see them.

Celisea®

September 28th, 2012
2:41 pm

Okay…I take that back…I can be ultra sensitive. But if a dude is giving me his butt to kiss, no matter how much it hurts, I ain’t breaking down like that. She was sooo broken.