Isn’t dating a contact sport?
One of my friends recently had a first date with a guy she met at church. She was looking forward to the date because she had been scoping the guy out for weeks. Things were going really great until Church Boy went from Christian Gentleman to Christian Grey in a span of about two hours.
She cringed when he made some inappropriate remarks about her breasts but things took a turn for the worse when he started pawing her like a piece of meat. She was immediately turned off and she wonders why he felt compelled to be so “hands on” with her in the first place.
I joked with her that dating is a contact sport! Of course you want to get close to your date. However, it is also important to read the body language and follow the cues that your date is giving! If he could clearly tell by her facial expressions and attitude shift that she was not cool with his behavior. So why didn’t he get the hint?
When do you usually feel okay getting physically closer and affectionate with someone? Do you usually go by the connection and chemistry or some predetermined time frame?
Do you think dating is a contact sport? How can you tell when it is okay to make that kind of move?
What would you do if someone was out of bounds with their dialogue or physical contact with you on a date? Would you bother giving them another date?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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174 comments Add your comment
disco
September 26th, 2012
11:46 am
dushawn – unh unh. nope. mind trick my behind. there are some men who have just always been intimidated by the fairer sex. if you think on it you might know one or two.
disco
September 26th, 2012
11:48 am
of course it could be a personality thing. I have one friend who insists she likes to be “talked into it”. she’s got a hang up about initiating anything. feels it’s not a “woman’s place”. I’m like whatever, you better go for yours. I suppose there are men who feel pressured (read scared) if a woman is more brazen than he’s comfortable with.
Willie Dynamite
September 26th, 2012
12:18 pm
Disco – So if dude is getting touchy feely with you its MFer get your GD hands off me. BUT if you are getting touchy feely with him and he hesitates its he’s scared or intimidated.
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
September 26th, 2012
12:32 pm
Nice topic…
BUT if you are getting touchy feely with him and he hesitates its he’s scared or intimidated.
Been there..done that back in college and a time or two in my post collegiate days . In a way it kinda strokes one’s ego cause you’ve got’em shook and I’ve even laughed (to myself of course) a few times…thankfully it didn’t happen too often. Patience is definitely a virtue..
disco
September 26th, 2012
12:36 pm
WD – it’s just another one of those double standards. they’re everywhere (double standards that is, not scared men). lol.
Willie Dynamite
September 26th, 2012
12:49 pm
Sassy – heyyyyen
Disco – true that hahaha. I don’t think I’ve ever been shook or intimidated but I have gotten some touchy feely attention from a chick that I just didnt want. Guess to her I was scared of it.
i'm swiss
September 26th, 2012
12:50 pm
I dated a chick in college who always seemed to be at her horniest whenever I really needed to study/write a paper/take an exam/etc. That chick was a baaaaaaaad influence on me, because I was never the most studious to begin with. But then to have writing a term paper compete with getting some puddy??? Academics are coming in 2nd in that race every time!
I failed a Portuguese class because I stayed in bed f__king her instead of going to take the final exam. 
And before you ask, yes, that puddy was worth it. 
Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)
September 26th, 2012
12:53 pm
“I’m trying to watch the game; she’s steadily grabbing the front of my boxers, nibbling on my ear, playing with my chest. I’m moving my head, restraining her hands and trying to look over her shoulder at the next play,”
I can find out who won later!! (LOL)
i'm swiss
September 26th, 2012
12:54 pm
There’s some puddy we should be scared of. There are some things a shot of penicillin won’t clear up.
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
September 26th, 2012
12:55 pm
I failed a Portuguese class because I stayed in bed f__king her instead of going to take the final exam.
Woooow….talk about that “thayow”. I remember once before Mr. Bermuda moved back to the “A” he was here visiting and I made him so late for the airport he was running like O.J. did in that commercial back in the day
Heey Willie
kimmie
September 26th, 2012
12:55 pm
disco/WD – I agree, a double standard. It could also set the tone for what type of relationship will follow. If chick is all over dude off the rip, yall might just have a FWB situation at the most.
I’ve never been a “football widow” and never understood women like that. I guess growing up with 4 brothers and a dad that loved all sports, as well as loving football myself shaped my mindset there. It would never occur to me to try to get up in a dudes face while he’s trying to watch the game! That’s stupid! There is plenty time for that before and after! Even if I’m not into the game, I’m usually trying to get my drink & food on anyway!
i'm swiss
September 26th, 2012
12:56 pm
Hmmm… I just noticed “penicillin” sounds like “penis healin’” said really fast. Coincidence….?
disco
September 26th, 2012
12:56 pm
WD – I also think it may come into play a little bit more when a guy feels he’s out of his league. yeah, I know most men won’t admit to being in over their heads but there’s a few men that have admitted to me that they were struck with performance anxiety when a real bad chick offered it up. guess the threat of performance anxiety is enough to make a brother act scared. lol.
i'm swiss
September 26th, 2012
12:58 pm
Sassy — Yeah, I was thinking to myself, mid-stroke, “If I bust now, I can still make it in time… aaaah, f__k it, I’ll re-take it in summer school”
kimmie
September 26th, 2012
1:03 pm
Swiss- Very poor study habits!!!
Willie Dynamite
September 26th, 2012
1:04 pm
Swiss – Dayum man, hahaha
Disco – I just cant relate to that personally. heyal if anything I’d probably pull a hamstring or something trying my damndest to tedatazzup. hahaha
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
September 26th, 2012
1:37 pm
It would never occur to me to try to get up in a dudes face while he’s trying to watch the game! That’s stupid!
Ain’t it though…I’d be trying to watch the game my da.mned self…now halftime might be a different story
“If I bust now, I can still make it in time… aaaah, f__k it, I’ll re-take it in summer school”
Now that’s that “good,good”. Well we’re glad you still graduated Swiss
guess the threat of performance anxiety is enough to make a brother act scared.
And the last thing we’d want is a hasty deposit with anearly withdrawal
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
September 26th, 2012
2:03 pm
marco???
DuShawn
September 26th, 2012
2:07 pm
“…..I’d probably pull a hamstring or something trying my damndest to tedatazzup…..” yall know all the blog men are super studs. However, Imma keep it real and fess up to the extremely rare, few and far between episodes of performance anxiety. I know I’m not the only dude on here that has had to excuse himself to the rest room for the Penis Pep Talk… Be in there like:”C’mon buddy, please don’t do this to us. Not now man! We have been setting this up for months!! Get right Dog, this is what we do. Now Let’s get out there and beat it!!! Buddy, do this one for me, I promise I’ll stop choking you so often.”
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
September 26th, 2012
2:10 pm
Buddy, do this one for me, I promise I’ll stop choking you so often.”
You guys <em<do that?…
disco
September 26th, 2012
2:13 pm
dushawn – the blog men are more than just the world’s best lovers. they are the best husbands, boyfriends, fathers, baby daddy’s, neighbors, athletes, employees, employers, friends. they are favorite cousins, uncles, and the one that got away. what? you didn’t know about the blog men? I wasn’t talking about “them”. I was talking about the rest of the easily intimidated, performance anxiety stricken adult male population.
SlimUno
September 26th, 2012
2:18 pm
Howdy folks! I don’t take too kind to the Gropy Creeper Dude…We all naturally have a certain amount of intimate space. If we’ve just met, then you need to stay OTISP (ouside the Intimate Space Perimeter) Only after I feel some comfort and trust in you will there be any inappropriate touching. I have to check dudes at my job on that note more times than I should. The space around a woman’s waist is considered intimate. A church hug will suffice but under no circumstances should your arms find their way around that zone of my body.
Bluzgirl
September 26th, 2012
2:26 pm
Wow…only on page 2?!?!
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
September 26th, 2012
2:27 pm
Only after I feel some comfort and trust in you will there be any inappropriate touching.
For some reason I found this funny
I have to check dudes at my job on that note more times than I should.
I do,too but it’s almost always my hair…guys just think it’s okay to touch my hair like it’s okay and I’m very funny about that. Sometimes they ask but most times they don’t and that irks me…
Sassy Me...PYT ;-)
September 26th, 2012
2:28 pm
only on page 2?!?!
Not unless you’d like to share something…
SlimUno
September 26th, 2012
2:35 pm
Only after I feel some comfort and trust in you will there be any inappropriate touching
Sassy – Now that I’ve re-read my statement, it is pretty funny
disco
September 26th, 2012
2:36 pm
I never have anything to share (my life is just boring like that) but I thought about my new year’s resolution earlier today (1 trip every 2 months and 1 ticketed event per month). I went back over my calendar and did a tally. so far I’ve got in 5 trips and 10 events. think I’ve got the resolutions licked this year.
Lady~cool beans :-)
September 26th, 2012
2:51 pm
I am staying over to complete some work so how does 3- 5 rock in here…………………sitting at my desk currently dreading completing these tasks……………..sigh!
Willie Dynamite
September 26th, 2012
2:57 pm
Yall funny,
Shiiiiid Im honest bout my mini me. Heyal I told y’all bout wifey getting the best of me then talking isht the whole next day. Yep it happens, babe Ruth didn’t hit a homerun every time.
I had this lil friend girl in college. Nothing special bout her at all but every time as did the do I couldn’t last no more than 5 or 10 mins. After bout the 3rd time I just threw in the towel.
Bluzgirl
September 26th, 2012
2:59 pm
Sassy…nothing to share for once! LOL!!!
SlimUno
September 26th, 2012
2:59 pm
I remember trying to date this coach dude. He was not really that attractive but whenever we were around each other, he had great convo…I remember when I was at his spot before we went out and he was like, why are you sitting waaaaaay over on that end of the couch. It was so awkward…it just wasn’t there.
Rich
September 26th, 2012
3:01 pm
I really hate that, people pretending to be a Christian, and then when you go out with them or spend time with them, they turn into a sexual maniac. Ruining it for us good Christian men and women, that’s why I like dating non-Christians because most of my own kind is worse than everyone else. Well even though I am not perfect, darn it, there is at least one person trying to put his best foot forward. Have a Blessed Day!
Lady~cool beans :-)
September 26th, 2012
3:03 pm
fun stuff huh~ #life #random lol
disco
September 26th, 2012
3:06 pm
dang y’all this is bad. we’re not talking about reality tv, serial killers, james evans’ tight pants. nothing.
Celisea
September 26th, 2012
3:08 pm
Just got home from the dentist. One cavity and a filing “not sealed”…..just great.
How come the truly great dudes NEVER had chemistry (with you)? Not that a dude ain’t said the same (about me).
For Real
September 26th, 2012
3:10 pm
For Real: Hey Slim can I touch your CT?
Slim: Only after I feel some comfort and trust in you will there be any inappropriate touching.
For Real: Well if you look over there you will see a bible on the coffee table and here let me get that lumbar pillow. And I put your keys on the fire place so they don’t get lost. Oh and Zipppppppppppppppp!!!!
Slim: Ohhhh For Reallllllllllll!!!!!!!
Willie Dynamite
September 26th, 2012
3:11 pm
Cel – actually we have pretty good chemistry. I just happen to be taken, sorry. smile
Celisea
September 26th, 2012
3:12 pm
Dern…just 2 pages??? C’mon we can do better than this I know!!!
For Real
September 26th, 2012
3:13 pm
Slim is now inappropriately touching For Real.
For Real: Oh my now inappropriately touch this. Heyyy alright then now inappropriately touch this… WHAO!!!!
Celisea
September 26th, 2012
3:13 pm
WillieD –
Hahahaha I guess I should have included dudes taken as well. I’ve had about 3 encounters in my life where the chemistry was there off the top but, somebody was taken. All I could do was move away from it…lol
For Real
September 26th, 2012
3:14 pm
“How come the truly great dudes NEVER had chemistry (with you)?” – Cause his wife be trippin!
Celisea
September 26th, 2012
3:16 pm
Or me taken
Shet it up For Real
Celisea
September 26th, 2012
3:17 pm
WillieD – I’m goooood, over my way
Celisea
September 26th, 2012
3:19 pm
Y’all ain’t got nothing???
Exiled!
September 26th, 2012
3:19 pm
Fu_c the end of term exam if there is a chance to retake it!!
@Swiss!
U decline puddy when it’s offered,especially if it’s the first time,u ain’t gon get a second chance.
And the woman is properly gon start a whisper campaing on u.
Co-sign Swiss on that!
F_c the professor too!
(hand me that $200 gold pen Disco or Celia)
Lady~cool beans :-)
September 26th, 2012
3:19 pm
Bluz I need your assistance with something…..shoot me an email please ma’am msjenkins8@gmail.com
Exiled!
September 26th, 2012
3:20 pm
Blog is slow guys what’s wrong?
Lady~cool beans :-)
September 26th, 2012
3:20 pm
I have 3 inquires C~ lol work! I need help though sigh hopefully Bluz can help~
Celisea
September 26th, 2012
3:20 pm
Well, I just put in a movie and I hope it’s good. Of course I’m working too!
Soooo, I guess none of us aren’t getting inappropriately touched. I’m not…getting in appropriately touched
Imma wear mr green out…ha ha ha ha ha
For Real
September 26th, 2012
3:20 pm
“I really hate that, people pretending to be a Christian, and then when you go out with them or spend time with them, they turn into a sexual maniac.”
This passive-aggressive message was brought to you by the committee to Get Barry Azz Barry some.