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Isn’t dating a contact sport?

One of my friends recently had a first date with a guy she met at church. She was looking forward to the date because she had been scoping the guy out for weeks. Things were going really great until Church Boy went from Christian Gentleman to Christian Grey in a span of about two hours.

She cringed when he made some inappropriate remarks about her breasts but things took a turn for the worse when he started pawing her like a piece of meat. She was immediately turned off and she wonders why he felt compelled to be so “hands on” with her in the first place.

I joked with her that dating is a contact sport! Of course you want to get close to your date. However, it is also important to read the body language and follow the cues that your date is giving! If he could clearly tell by her facial expressions and attitude shift that she was not cool with his behavior. So why didn’t he get the hint?

When do you usually feel okay getting physically closer and affectionate with someone? Do you usually go by the connection and chemistry or some predetermined time frame?

Do you think dating is a contact sport? How can you tell when it is okay to make that kind of move?

What would you do if someone was out of bounds with their dialogue or physical contact with you on a date? Would you bother giving them another date?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

174 comments Add your comment

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 26th, 2012
7:23 am

“Church Boy went from Christian Gentleman to Christian Grey” Wow that’s a suprise the someone in the church could actually act like that. (LOL)

“When do you usually feel okay getting physically closer and affectionate with someone? Do you usually go by the connection and chemistry or some predetermined time frame?” This isn’t something that I usually plan, but it just happens.

“Do you think dating is a contact sport?” No, there are laws against that, and not playing any games.

What would you do if someone was out of bounds with their dialogue or physical contact with you on a date? Simple tell them

“Would you bother giving them another date?” I believe in second chances, but third and forth, probably not you’ve proven to me who you really are.

Roberta

September 26th, 2012
8:49 am

“What would you do if someone was out of bounds with their dialogue or physical contact with you on a date?” I’ve put a lot of thought into this and think I just may have come up with an answer. I’d tell them to stop.

Exiled!

September 26th, 2012
8:50 am

Is dating a contact sport?

Really?

Church boy ofcourse missed the memo coz he was reading the bible(joke). But seriously,u wanna touch the one who is open to being touched and not on a first date unless uall had mega,long term phone chemistry!
Online daters will go from talking on the phone to meeting and humping each other in five minutes….well going off topic here :lol:

But umm…where was I?

Contact sporting……church boy still has to learn reading facial expression,speech tone and body language. U learn that then I’ll know when to excuse urself and run for the heels,when the date should be cut short,when u need to plan for a second date or whether u should excuse yourself right there on the first date even,dart across the road to the convenience store and get urself some ribbed three pack of troj!

It maybe about to get haawt once u get outta there coz she ready! :lol:
Morning MIA!

(Single? U wanna punch Nancy Grace? that was hilarious !) :lol: Boy I laughed.

Exiled!

September 26th, 2012
8:52 am

Excise spelling..ur boy is in bed.

Exiled!

September 26th, 2012
8:53 am

disco

September 26th, 2012
8:54 am

good morning folks.

Ex – he missed the memo because he was reading the bible? that was funny. thanks for starting my day with a laugh. guess old boy was just “laying on hands”. lol.

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
9:03 am

Morning!

On topic: Well, I don’t quite understand what “church” got to do with this. There are gentlemen in church as well as out. And there are sheep’s in wolves clothing out of church as well as in. My issue is that he’s disrespectful….period. I don’t think she should be surprised, offended maybe but not surprised.

I remember having the BIGGEST crush on Kevin, the Kappa! He wasn’t a Kappa when I first started crushing on him as I knew him when we were kids. I didn’t hang around him too much cause there was always a gang of chicks hanging onto him. And one thing about me, I ain’t sweating a dude everybody’s hanging on…it’s a pride thing. My 12th grade year (I may have mentioned on here before), I was walking to my aunt’s (my mom picked me up there), from band practice and I spotted him turning into the entrance leading to the back of the school. To this day, he didn’t know I did. This was a couple of weeks prior to school starting. Some of y’all know the marching band always started practice ahead of the school year. Well, he didn’t live on that side of town but his grandmother did, which is where he spent the summer. There and hanging in the back of the school with the cheerleaders. Well, apparently he saw me and turns into the school but turns his car around and pulls to the driveway entrance as I’m approaching (I was walking from the front of the school), and pretends he was leaving!!! lol He asks if I wanted a ride down. So me, being the eager beaver, hop in. I never let on that I saw him whip his car around. We talked and he asked for my number. We chatted a few times but didn’t do too much hooking up. Over the years we keep in touch. He joins the AF ahead of pledging and just happens to be home visiting. He calls me. We go out. Good Lawd buddy was fine as heck. I take him to our company picnic. He tries a few tricks but nothing…lol Soooo, I guess pulling out all the stops, he goes for the gusto and invites me to church. After church, we stop for dinner and take it back to his mom (cause he was still in the AF). I’m digging him but VERY skeptical because of there’s always a gang of chicks swarming around him. We get back to his mom, eat dinner and it starts. He was all over me like fly on fly paper. I was peeling him off me. His brother happen to come in, and for me was my saving grace. I talked to him a few times after then but I NEVER gave it up….mainly cause he was too dang anxious and I was offended. But I did tell him he was gonna burst hell wide open cause he was all up in the church service but was all over me shortly thereafter.

Off topic: I had the biggest laugh at y’all….seriously. IT AIN’T SERIOUS. I was reading last night and saw the accusations and what not. Honestly, I’m flattered, considering…..

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
9:09 am

Haven’t seen eye candy in a few weeks….I just had the pleasure of looking up and there he was!! lol

disco

September 26th, 2012
9:09 am

good morning C. you went back down memory lane with your story this morning. I had a friend back in high school. went to visit her and her brother let me in. thing was, she wasn’t home. needless to say I tussled with brother and finally got out of there. told my brother and cousins. they got into it with her brother. girl got mad at me because my peeps got with her brother. she and I finally had at in the cafeteria all because her brother was “touchy feely”.

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
9:16 am

morning disco – Yes yes, I can definitely relate. I think if buddy was just a bit more patient, he might have snagged me….lol But yeah, I was seriously peeling him off me. That’s no joke. I didn’t call for backup (lol), but I was dang shole getting up out of there. Funny thing, we talked a lot after then but I never trusted him from that point. I remember getting invited (post pledging) to his condo with a gang of other folks and that was the first reality check I had of women and all the stuff they do. Not saying in a bad way, but I was still green-eyed and a virgin. I didn’t know nothing. Just knew to hang on to the goods….lol Shoot, if I hadda told my brothers, there would have been hell to pay.

I did get it big time from my mama once. I was about 18 and he wanted to come over. No one was there. My mom plainly said, she wasn’t cool with me having company while she and pops wasn’t there. She outright said it…thangs happen….lol Well he called and I did NOT want to turn him away. So I let him come over but sat in the car. I was thinking well, she said nothing about the car. Honestly we talked…and that was all. But wouldn’t you know my mama called and there was no answer. By the time she got home, we were sitting outside. She was all nice and polite but I knew to get on out the car. She and pops were waiting on me when I went in. IT WAS WORTH IT….lol

disco

September 26th, 2012
9:21 am

C – the best part of that story was the “it was worth it” at the end. dude must have been some kind of fine for you to be willing to face the consequences and repercussions.

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
9:30 am

disco – I ain’t gonna lie…..good Lawd in heaven. Not only was he handsome, he was fine as heck…whew I shole wanted to give him some. I just couldn’t risk getting use. He was kinda cruel to chicks. I just gave him a run for his money. We haven’t talked in years but when I do see him, there’s alwasy that air of being cool as ever.

Yep, that was worth the lecture and the smack my mama gave me…for being hardheaded…lol

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
9:32 am

I can’t play today. I have a dentist appointment which means I’m out of here early, which means I have to work. Anxiety will set in when I’m pulling up…lol

disco

September 26th, 2012
9:48 am

first a paper cut that required medical attention and now a slow blog. it’s going to be a long day.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 26th, 2012
9:54 am

Hey Disco, how you get a paper cut that required medical attention, I thought that only happened where I work (LOL)

DuShawn

September 26th, 2012
9:55 am

Celisea, I C U really feel like typing this morning. Dayum!

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
9:56 am

Dushawn – My baaaaad! I started out recalling the story and typed as the recollection popped in my head…lol Actually, I had to condense a bit :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 26th, 2012
9:57 am

A man senses ought to be acute enough to signal when a woman is ready to commit sexually. Grabing, pulling, and yanking on a woman doesn’t go well with trying to establish a comforting mood. On dates the man grabs the bull by the horns and the lady holds all the marbles. Set the mood don’t say or do anything that can be construed as negative, if she likes you like that you will be the first to know.

disco

September 26th, 2012
9:58 am

S/H – I was attacked by a killer envelope. that thing was fierce. and, of course, by medical attention I mean I had to break out one of my emergency bandaids that I keep in my purse.

Bluzgirl

September 26th, 2012
10:01 am

I went on a date with a guy with a filthy mouth and grabby hands. It was such a turn off. He tried to shove his tongue down my throat when I just wanted to give him a little peck. I had no problem backing away and getting the heck out of there as soon as I could. He called for a couple of days and I never answered or called him back.

Trust me…I’ll let you know if it’s ok to touch me…

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 26th, 2012
10:01 am

Hello to you good people.

Bluzgirl

September 26th, 2012
10:02 am

Good morning BF!

disco

September 26th, 2012
10:04 am

bluz – re your comment “I’ll let you know if it’s okay to touch me”. I had to giggle because it made me think of when I’ve had guys tell me that I’m too bossy and that they can even imagine that I’m too difficult to have sex with because I’d probably spend the whole time issuing orders. I had to laugh because there’s a bit of truth to it. no point in going with something that’s not working and not speaking up. lol

good morning REAL blackfoote.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 26th, 2012
10:05 am

“Trust me…I’ll let you know if it’s ok to touch me…”

Hey there Bluz that’s a classy feminine line.

disco

September 26th, 2012
10:06 am

BF – what’s with the moniker? do you have really black feet? is one foot darker than the other? is it secret code for something else. I’m not a person that goes barefoot. I think it’s nasty and I don’t even go without shoes in my own house. I’m always grossed out when I see people and the bottom of their foot is just black. how long do you have to go shoeless for your feet to get like that? oops. guess I went down a path there. sorry.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 26th, 2012
10:09 am

Hey disco and Cely………..LOL

disco @10:04 I can visualized that.

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
10:11 am

So it ain’t just me? I never walk around barefeet. Ever! I wear bedroom shoes or flipflops in the house. Only in my room will I take off my shoes and that’s hopping on the bed or getting in my chair. When I vacation or travel, I always take rubber flipflops and stand in them in the shower. That’s the only time I’m not taking a bubbly…lol I’m not sitting where a gang of folks have sat, nor walking.

Okay…back to work

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
10:12 am

Hey there Blackfoote…

I gotta get some work done…

Lady~cool beans :-)

September 26th, 2012
10:15 am

Howdy MIA & C~ what is poppin’ today?!? lol ;)

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
10:15 am

Heeeeey there Lady! What’s crackalackin??

Bluzgirl

September 26th, 2012
10:16 am

LOL disco! I can see you being like a drill sergeant!

I gotta say that I love walking around barefoot! I can’t wait to take my shoes and socks off when I get home. As a matter of fact, I keep my shoes off under my desk at work. I can’t stand having my feet confined unless it’s really cold!

Lady~cool beans :-)

September 26th, 2012
10:20 am

I left my lunch on my bed and someone needs to be nice and bring me lunch today C~ silly me! what we do for our kids I am making sure she has everything and overlook me~ lol #motherhood :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 26th, 2012
10:22 am

LOL…..@disco my feet are normal clear toe nails and flush red color on the bottom, no crust around the ankles or fungus underneath the nail bed. I can wear sandals without having my feet looked bad upon, I’ve seen guys with sandals on and it makes me sick just glancing at them. I can’t walk around the house barefoot either.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 26th, 2012
10:22 am

Disco, yea those things sure do hurt LOL) and there’s nothing wrong with a bossy woman (LOL)

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
10:24 am

Lady – The perfect excuse to buy lunch!!! lol Splurge a bit and getchaself something tasty. Yuuummm!!!

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
10:25 am

Lady – You should get your boo to bring something buy and eat outside together :mrgreen:

disco

September 26th, 2012
10:30 am

BF – now you ain’t never lied about the state of some men’s feet (some women too for that matter). whew lawd is all I can say to that. thick, scaly, crusty, hard, discolored, corns, bunions. ick.

S/H – it’s funny. I never really thought of myself as bossy or pushy. I don’t run around trying to tell people what to do. I admit I have a somewhat aggressive or abrasive demeanor but bossy? i blame it on birth order (being the oldest)

Lady~cool beans :-)

September 26th, 2012
10:31 am

hmmmmm C~ time isn’t on our side for that lol but he may drop something by~ lol

yeah I am probably going to do a to go order from Tin Drum and move on sis~ I am just ready to go! okay what is the daily topic lol

Celisea

September 26th, 2012
10:36 am

Lady – Well just danggit then….lol

Lady~cool beans :-)

September 26th, 2012
10:38 am

Is dating a contact sport?!? hmmmmm lol @ Ex lol

Lady~cool beans :-)

September 26th, 2012
10:55 am

welp it is quiet around here let me go get some DSM work completed……sigh lol bbl perhaps~ :)

kimmie

September 26th, 2012
11:00 am

Morning All!!

SMDH at the topic & Wise’s story! Seriously, dude was THAT dense and disrespectful?? Pawing and grabbing – who does that? It’s so not necessary. If all he wanted was sex, it’s plenty out there to get without acting a fool. Now she has to see his tired behind at church too! Idiot!

kimmie

September 26th, 2012
11:02 am

Oh and I haven’t read Shades of Grey, but from what I heard CG is pretty smooth with his words and his actions. So dude above is not a good comparison!

LeeH1

September 26th, 2012
11:03 am

The guy has to learn the non-verbal signals about how far to go.
The woman has to learn non-verbal signals about how far to go, too. Miscommunication is often a two-way street.

disco

September 26th, 2012
11:07 am

hey there kimmie! why did I just think of the scene from my best friend’s wedding where they were calling kimmie in the bathroom?

I wish I could leave work, drive to the airport, walk up to the ticket counter and by the next ticket to wherever.

lee – non verbal my behind. dude would have got “MF if you don’t get your GD hands off of me”. oops. we talking “church” folks. he would have overheard me talking to my jesus “dear lord, please help this man to remove his hands from my person before I have to come back and ask you to forgive me for my actions”.

DuShawn

September 26th, 2012
11:08 am

This may sound punkish….But I have been on the opposite end of the “too much grabbing and touching” scenario. I’m trying to watch the game; she’s steadily grabbing the front of my boxers, nibbling on my ear, playing with my chest. I’m moving my head, restraining her hands and trying to look over her shoulder at the next play, all while thinking, this is how women must feel when being groped by a dude.
I really wanted to say “Dayum, would you chill for a minute?!” Finally, I said ……….”Just hold me”………..Yeah right……..….you know I whipped it out!

kimmie

September 26th, 2012
11:11 am

disco – Preach!LOL!!!

disco

September 26th, 2012
11:14 am

du shawn – I’ve heard that complaint before. the real issue for many isn’t the groping so much that old girl is trying to interrupt the game. some women really do think they have to compete with football for your affection. hence the term “football widows”. still, your post made me think of all the times when we females sat around and talked about the guys who acted like they were afraid of the booty. some guys are you know. they want it but they don’t know what to do with it. lol.

Willie Dynamite

September 26th, 2012
11:37 am

Afternoon all,
Buddy need to work on a few things. He tried to get some and if he wouldve chilled ol girl mightve just gave him some. Some dudes can’t get outta they own way.

DuShawn

September 26th, 2012
11:37 am

-Disco- “…..all the times when we females sat around and talked about the guys who acted like they were afraid of the booty.” That is the ultimate Jedi Mind Trick. When I would date a woman, that is exactly what I wanted her to think. Unlike the unsuccessful suitor who played himself on the first date by being too aggressive, I want a woman to believe that the booty is the furthest thing from my mind. All the while knowing, when she gives it to me….I’m never giving it back.