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Dating: Ready to meet the kids?

One of our readers has been seeing a woman for about 8 months and things are getting serious. The woman he is seeing has decided that she feels comfortable enough to introduce him to her children. He has none and is actually “not that great” with kids.

He wants help in figuring out if he is ready to meet the kids. How do you know when it is time to introduce your kids to your date? Should there be a serious and exclusive relationship before you bring your kids around the person you are dating?

What should you do if you aren’t “kid friendly” but you really want things to go well?

Do you think dating a single parent is harder when you don’t have kids too?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

403 comments Add your comment

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
7:18 am

Morning Folks

“He has none and is actually “not that great” with kids.” But he dates women with kids??

“What should you do if you aren’t “kid friendly” but you really want things to go well?” Don’t date women with kids, it may be a small pool but there actually are some out there.

“Do you think dating a single parent is harder when you don’t have kids too?” This all depends on the person and how mature they are.

“Should there be a serious and exclusive relationship before you bring your kids around the person you are dating?” This is a double edge sword, you should at least find out if they like kids, and how they react around them before deciding to get serious, because actions always speak louder than words!

.

September 25th, 2012
7:33 am

Enter your comments here

Big Al

September 25th, 2012
8:11 am

I would never date a women with kids. It’s just asking for trouble.

Exiled!

September 25th, 2012
8:17 am

Why does s single,childless man gravitate to a kids mama..one kid I would say,’ookay’ …but two,three and in some cases four(4) kids…and surely,a supposedly sane man wants to marry that woman!

Surely???!
It really boggles my mind!
Does her puddy smother the D and sing,does it ooze a mysterious but hallucinating rich aroma..ummm,what is it that lulls a sane man to jettison childless women and go rogue like that..3,4 kids woman becoming attractive.
Really? Taking the initiative to buy a ring then kneel down on All four(4)…

Will u marry marry me..U, the mother of 4 kids?!

I rest my case! :lol:

Some men!??

Worse when the mama has more than 1 baby mama.that’s real Low hanging fruit….sex…yea I can meet the kids after a nite with mama in a one nighter…

Meeting the kids to plan marriage with mama…

Nahh!

The sex was good but not going there!! :lol:

Exiled!

September 25th, 2012
8:19 am

HAs more than one baby daddy

Button

September 25th, 2012
8:26 am

To each his own Exile! I’m a mother with 4 kids and I have had NO problem dating. And guest what? I married a wonderful supportive man with 3 kids many years ago and now at this present day, I have 4 kids and I’m engaged to marry an awesome man who infact is much younger than I with no kids! go figure. So that may be your own perspective but I’m so grateful that the world isn’t orchrestred by your state of mind!

Good morning!

Button

September 25th, 2012
8:28 am

Oh and by the way my puddy does smother the D and sing,and it does ooze a mysterious but hallucinating rich aroma….hahahahaha

Bubbette

September 25th, 2012
8:46 am

Aren’t the men bloggers all happily married? Maybe some are lying?

Button

September 25th, 2012
8:48 am

Not being great with kids and not liking kids are two different things. I can say I’m not great with other people kids but my own kids I’m great with. It reads as if the reader has some hesitations toward the woman and using the kids as a scapegoat for not moving forward into a more meaningful relationship. When a man is really into a woman, no amount of kids she has will prevent him from not only loving her but her kids too. He will step up to the plate and do the darn thing.

Exiled!

September 25th, 2012
8:51 am

I know life in America is hard for most people including me and I have come to realize,sharing bills by living with another is a very attractive proposition for a lotta people out there.
Coupled with the fact that some folks really don’t have solid family backgrounds,with nobody on their ear to whisper,’don’t go there,nah,she a bed hopper..’ I can see how a single,no kids man can be under the pudy spell of an experienced mother! I can truly see that.

And the moment u move in with her…u have no credit,she proly carries the mortgage,she co-signed ur note(foolish but yea) or maybe paid the deposit..or worse,the man hisself (going gheto) has no car and is dependent on the woman..she buys him clothes..and manages to ostracize him from
the little family he has(women are good at that)….he’s done!

U become a dependent leech Under the spell of a more experienced,4 kids woman.

Good puddy(yes some of them mamas can pound the D) will lead u down a baaad road single guys,careful! :lol:

Big Al

September 25th, 2012
8:52 am

Bubbette, there’s no such thing as a HAPPILY married man. That’s why divorce attorneys are so popular.

disco

September 25th, 2012
8:54 am

good morning. I read “ready to meet the kids” and my thought was HELL NO. lol. right now I’m not checking to meet anybody’s kids. kids are the last things on my to do list. heck, I’d rather meet your barber, your mechanic, your drycleaner. kids??? ewww. I get the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. lol.

Button

September 25th, 2012
8:55 am

I’ve dated a guy who was a single parent and this guy was ubber protective of her. He used to look at me side ways if I even asked how was she doing. In my experience the single dads are just as protective of his kids as mother are when introducing kids to a new flame.

Exiled!

September 25th, 2012
8:58 am

Button..what’s the attraction to u..that makes the man not want to start their own family,fresh with a childless woman?

What makes u so great,if I may ask…

Do u ever feel u are lucky..waaay lucky?

Coz to me,marrying a woman with 2+ kids is like starting at minus ..
That’s like buying a house with minus Equity
Or buying a house in a drug/crime infested area!

Bubbette

September 25th, 2012
9:02 am

@Big Al, that leave great liars. Surprise surprise!

Button

September 25th, 2012
9:03 am

Exile that’s the way you think and others like you! You surley do have a warp way of thinking. Have you even sit to think that most single parents are single by chance and not choice and when I say chance it could be the death of a spouse or even divorce? See that’s how most ignorant people think and when I say ignorant I mean without any knowledge.

disco

September 25th, 2012
9:06 am

dag ex. you are going hard against the unmarried parents this a.m. some would say that your children are your blessing regardless of how they got here. sure, the argument could be made that folks should wait to be married before having kids but a lot of folks also would never have kids if they did wait. compatibility is compatibility. granted, I’m not out there checking for the single parent fathers myself but still having children isn’t the end of the world. I’d date a single parent father that met most of my “checklist” requirements before I dated a childless man who wasn’t hitting on anything.

Button

September 25th, 2012
9:14 am

Exile, my last husband was childless and I had 3 kids, who knows how this thing is lined up, only the good Lord knows this, and yet again I’m in the same position, a guy with no kids, who loves me and my kids just the same.

What makes you great???

NO I don’t feel lucky I feel blessed to not only find love once but TWICE!! maybe you should try changing your attitude and see people as who they are, people who deserves love just as you do.
Just because you’re childless doesn’t merit you finding love or being love any better than someone with child(ren). And no, it’s not about the sex either. Do you think that just because you’re a single parent you’ll all of a sudden incompetent?

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
9:19 am

Bubbette, no all of us aren’t married.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
9:25 am

I mean are married, single and loving it (at least until next year) LOL

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
9:27 am

Disco, how you doing this morning. yes most say children are blessing no matter how you got them, but how can you say you sinned and got blessed with something?

Exiled!

September 25th, 2012
9:34 am

Button…yea but I’m not even talking of the one whose hubby died.I’m talking of the 3 kids mama…doing the rounds…

And still..the logic in the single,childless man to want to hop on the mama with kids….

Lets See how that Ashton Kutcher will work out for ur boy Button! :lol:

Bluzgirl

September 25th, 2012
9:36 am

When I was involved with my recent ex 10 years ago, I babysat his kid, so when we got into a relationship, it was no big deal to see his son again. His son came to stay with us during the summer and at Christmas time. I loved him dearly! Unfortunately, my ex was a terrible father. His son would talk to me about how he felt and I would encourage him to talk to his father, but he’ll write him off at some point. It was sad. I always questioned if I would want to have a child with the ex because of how I saw him as a father…THANK GOD it never happened!!!

Celisea

September 25th, 2012
9:37 am

Nothin on topic. Find your way like the rest of us did…lol

Is it just me or does the folks blogging all sound like the same person? Shenanigans I tell ya!

Comon Cents

September 25th, 2012
9:39 am

When I was a single parent, my rule was always that I had to know you were going to be someone who was going to be around long term before you met my kid. I didn’t want my son to have a series of men in and out over him because that was not the model I wanted him to grow up with. But, again, personal preference. I know people who have done it diffferently and their kids have turned out seemingly fine. But for me, there ae definitely guidelines to meeting the children.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 25th, 2012
9:39 am

I don’t get into family matters but if a grown child is living with their parent that’s an arrangement they made and is none of my business. If I like the lady and care to pursue a courtship her having children wont be a detterent. I’m in no rush to meet them but if I’m at her house and one comes over to see her I’m not going to run and hide somewhere.

Good Morning:

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
9:44 am

Grown children living with parents, now that’s a whole nother can of worms (LOL)

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
9:45 am

Hello C, comon

Comon Cents

September 25th, 2012
9:47 am

Good Morning S/H! How you do today?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 25th, 2012
9:48 am

Bubette all the blog men are not married, and I speak for myself only.

Button

September 25th, 2012
9:49 am

Exile there are tons upon tons of May/December marriages that lasts. My girlfriend is 8 years older than her hubby and guest what she was a single parent also!

I co sign @ Common Cents

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
9:49 am

Doing great comon how about you?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 25th, 2012
9:51 am

Single I can’t see a woman I’m dating with toddlers running around………LOL

I know some dudes 40 up still living with their moms.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
9:54 am

How old are you black if you don’t mind me asking? If i ever date a woman with grown kids living with them I doubt it would go any further than dating because if it did, they would have to find them somewhere to stay.

Celisea

September 25th, 2012
9:56 am

Hello Single

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 25th, 2012
9:56 am

Hey Button I see you’re getting married. Congrats to you and the blessed fellow. Just go to show standing pat too long I lose. J/K

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 25th, 2012
9:58 am

Single I’ll be 51 this December.

Bluzgirl

September 25th, 2012
10:00 am

My soon to be ex-psycho-in-law has no problem introducing men to my nephew and it drives us crazy. She and my brother separated almost 3 years ago. She has lived with 3 different men. After she left her “husband” over the summer, my nephew came back from a summer at his other grandparents to find that his mom has moved them into another man’s house. Then, when he came to visit two weekends ago, he was dropped off by her and her boyfriend, but then picked up by her and her “husband” and they have moved back into his house. It’s all a big mess. I’m so worried about how all of this is affecting my nephew…

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
10:00 am

Okay black, same age but you no I have wide age range, so I may get a toddler or 2 in there but sure don’t see marriage in that future, just having fun :-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 25th, 2012
10:01 am

Single I always said if I were to get married again, I would buy another house. That grown child would have to find another nest.

Single and Happier "Life Happens!" (these folks are lucky I love what I do)

September 25th, 2012
10:05 am

With the market the way it is, probably won’t be buying another house, but sure won’t have those grown children up in there. sometimes I can see it to a point if they are contributing in some kind of way, but if they’re just there doing nothing but living their lives then they have to go! If I can’t run around my own house nekid then what’s the point of having one (LOL)

Comon Cents

September 25th, 2012
10:09 am

S/H~ I am good this morning! I had CLE last night, so I am dragging a little, but nothing I can’t handle. LOL! I will be popping in and out today, but I think this topic has run itself out very quickly. LOL! Whether you do or whether you don’t depends on the parent.

As for grown children, my kids know, they don’t have to go to college if they choose not to but they have to get out of my house at 18. The only way they will still be living with me is if they are in college and living at home to save room & board. Even then, we are not on the 6 year or 5 year plan. They have 4 more years to get out of school and then they must move out.

Comon Cents

September 25th, 2012
10:13 am

Off Topic (Sorry C!) Did y’all see the game last night?!? I predict that the lockout will be over before the week is out or the players/coaches are going to kill one of those replacement refs! :lol:

disco

September 25th, 2012
10:14 am

hey there S/H – I’m not even going deep into the sin angle. just saying that (in my opinion) for someone to act like an unmarried parent needs to dig a hole and put their head in it is some bull. if it’s not for you, it’s not for you but no need in trying to put the group down collectively.

S/H – sho you right when it comes to adult children still living at home. I might give a pass to the 18/19/20 year old living at home while going to school but when you are 35 with 2 or 3 kids of your own, that there is when disco just walks on by. I don’t have time for that mess right there.

Comon Cents

September 25th, 2012
10:14 am

C~ I’m going under the stairs now for bringing up football this morning. Can I at least take some coffee and a cinamon roll with me?

disco

September 25th, 2012
10:15 am

hey y’all to the folks who missed my first good morning.

Celisea

September 25th, 2012
10:17 am

Comon Cents – It seems to be anything goes around here….knock yourself out.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 25th, 2012
10:17 am

After my divorce I dated a lady with two small kids 6 and 8. The kids father died in a house fire trying to rescue his niece and nephews. A total of five people perished in that fire. I was in my mid 30’s and she was late 20’s and her kids really look up to me as a father figure. Had we made it to exchanging vows I would have adopted them as my own.

Comon Cents

September 25th, 2012
10:19 am

:lol: @ C. You just gave up on it, huh?

Comon Cents

September 25th, 2012
10:20 am

Heeeeyyy disco!